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It uses you at whim and drives you to despair and forces you to feel more joy than you can bear.
Isolder was away for the next week. He didn't even grace her with an explanation or an excuse.
The day after he left, she did a small investigation on her end. She called into Isolder's chief of staff inquiring about something insignificant. She spoke with his secretary and managed to work his busy schedule into the conversation. She found out that he actually was off-planet for reputable reasons during the weeks he told her, but apparently his stay was extended. When he told Leia he would be gone for 7 days, his work only scheduled him for 6. The pattern continued the farther back she went. That extra unaccounted day told her all she needed to know.
She couldn't say she was surprised and she couldn't claim to be enraged, else she would be a hypocrite. She realized how emotionally unattached from Isolder she was. It wasn't just since her dalliance in Corellia, but it had been building up for years until she no longer felt any attachment or hatred for him. But this news still hurt.
She stopped by Luke's one afternoon for some tea and vented. Luke was absolutely outraged and ready to begin divorcing him himself.
He paced the living room waving his hands like he was the jilted spouse. "Leia! How… kriff, how did he have the audacity to do that to you? To his wife? Kriff! You know what I would like to say to him, I would like to…"
"Luke!" Leia cut her brother off. "It's no use calling him names. It's done and now I'm moving on." She laid back on the sofa.
"Leia how can you be so calm about this? Your husband is cheating on you, for god's sake!" He stood in front of her. "You want me to practice some of my Jedi moves on him?"
She wasn't in the joking mood. Isolder's reaction had her shaken. "Luke, please!" She sat up and waited for Luke to look at her before she continued. "It's soon to be ex-husband. I told you what I know, and now I am asking you to just let it go."
Luke let out an exasperated sigh and fell into the nearest chair.
Leia didn't feel any better after letting her guard down with her brother. Instead of feeling relieved to get the news off her chest, she felt even more like a hypocrite.
The comm lighting up with an incoming message closed Luke's sharp tongue for the time being. He moved into their side office to take the message.
Leia heard the one-sided conversation from where she sat.
"Hello…" Luke's previous anger continued in the phone conversation. "I've been better, thank you… None of your teasing, I'm not in the mood…"
"Who is it?" Leia asked from her spot.
Luke spoke to Leia. "It's Han, though gods knows what he wants."
Leia sat up further and then sank back down, careful to not appear too interested in the conversation.
Luke continued. "What did you say, Han… I'm not ignoring you, I was talking to Leia… Yes, Leia is here… Why! Does she need a reason to come visit her brother?… As a matter of fact, it's Isolder who put me in this mood!… That's none of your business, now what were you calling for?"
Their conversation went on for a few minutes before Luke came out and gestured the back room where the comm was still lit. "Apparently Qi'ra wants to talk to you."
Leia moved into the room and pretended it was the female Solo on the other end. "Hello, Qi'ra."
Han's voice answered in a whisper. "Sweetheart, keep talking like I'm Qi'ra. I'm sorry, but I need to know what's going on. Are you alright?"
"Yes, Qi'ra I'm fine." Leia motioned to close the door to Luke and he nodded.
"Go on. I'll make us some kaff." She watched him stand and move into the kitchen as she shut the door.
With Luke off to the kitchen, Leia could talk in private.
"Han, Luke's gone now. Oh gods, it feels so good to hear your voice again."
He read her elevated emotions like the back of his hand. "Leia, what's wrong? Does it have something to do with Isolder?"
Leia felt her heart rate speed up again. She quickly contemplated what to tell him over the comm. She decided to unveil half the story. "It does. I'm not sure this is the best way to tell you, but…" She cleared her throat. "I think Isolder has been having an affair."
She heard Han exhale on the other end. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart."
She didn't want to hear that from him. "Don't say that. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner, but what's done is done."
"I can tell you're still upset." He recognized the agitation in her voice.
"It's just that… There's something else, but I'd rather tell you in person."
"Something else about Isolder?" Han asked concerned.
She nodded. "Yes."
Han took a moment. "Sweetheart, you aren't like him, not at all. He didn't pay attention to you for years. He ignored you. And as soon as you found out what would make you happy, you took steps to make it right." He paused while his words sunk in.
She took a deep breath. He was right. She was taking the right steps. "Thank you, Han. I needed that."
He grinned. "And I need you, baby." Han felt lighter after hearing her voice and knowing she was okay.
Leia was able to smile again. "Soon, honey. But now I should get back to Luke before he comes looking for me." Leia looked to the door to make sure he hadn't already.
"You're comin' this weekend right?"
"Yes. I still have a bit of packing, but I'll let you know."
"I'll be waiting."
Leia took her time packing up her things. She made sure to take only what was hers, else she knew Isolder's fist would come down when the divorce proceedings began. She packed her speeder late one evening and took a last look at her home of almost 5 years. It was a melancholy moment as she recalled all the memories she had in this house, in her old life. At the same time, she looked forward to moving on to better things. She climbed in her speeder and drove off.
Han moved out over a week prior and into his new apartment. It was on the top floor of a small townhouse 30 minutes outside of the city. There was a full kitchen, living room, 'fresher, and bedroom. He admitted that it was nothing fancy, but it would suffice in their short term planning. He was certainly financially stable, and Leia came with her own riches. But they needed time to discuss long term planning and living arrangements. That is something they would have to talk about after both divorces were finalized.
Leia pulled up at their new apartment just as a rumble of thunder was heard in the distance. Han must have been awaiting her arrival because he was on the doorstep as soon as she exited the speeder. He came over to greet her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.
"Han." She admonished, looking around to be sure nobody was in view.
"Sweetheart, it's dark and nobody can see us from here." His childlike giddiness was contagious. "Besides, we're both separated now. The status quo has shifted."
Yes, she thought to herself. The status quo has shifted. She smiled at him as he led her inside, just as the first drops of rain fell from the sky. He proudly took her upstairs and used the scanner to unlock the door to their new abode.
"Welcome home!" he said in a sing-song voice.
The furniture it rented with was minimal but functional. A tan plush sofa that looked almost new with a holo screen in the living area. The open kitchen was along the back wall. The kitchen table was surrounded by four modern chairs and appliances that had certainly seen better days but still worked.
The 'fresher was through the bedroom and had Han's things lined along one side of the counter. The only real piece of furniture either of them cared about was the large bed that occupied the room off to the right.
"Had to buy new sheets and everything," Han told her, very pleased with himself.
She giggled at his enthusiasm.
Leia glanced over every appliance and corner of their new home. It was functional and she saw potential, but it was hidden beneath a pile of dust and dirt. His friend obviously did not take good care of cleaning it regularly or maybe they didn't have a droid to do it for them. Still it was nothing a little scrubbing wouldn't fix. She wished she would have thought to bring her cleaning droid.
The rain turned into a downright pour. The sound of the rain on the roof was exceptionally loud. Leia turned to Han.
He turned up his lip with a hopeful look. "What do you think?"
She chose her words carefully. "It's nice. It could use some cleaning and some personal touches." She took another look at the top of the conservator that had dust balls half an inch thick. She amended her statement. "Well, actually it could use a lot of cleaning…"
Han walked around to the kitchen. "You're exaggerating, Sweetheart. It'll work for us."
She raised her eyebrows. "Han, I can assure you I am not exaggerating. Look at these corners. And the edges of the stove burners."
He looked at the grime she was referring to. "I'll clean it up."
They heard a plink sound coming from the kitchen table. A small water puddle was just beginning.
"Kriff," Han muttered under his breath while taking a pot from a cupboard and collecting the water. He looked up to see the leak in the ceiling.
"Well, another fix to add to the list." Leia's eyes wandered to other areas of the ceiling, expecting more leaks before the evening was through.
He tried to look on the bright side. "S'not so bad. Every place has its problems." He spotted another leak behind her, but refused to acknowledge it.
"Yes, honey. I'm sure they do," she said patting his cheek. She turned into the living area and noticed black marks and paint peels on the walls that looked like scrapes from moving furniture. "And these marks are another one of the problems every house has?" Her passive-aggressive tone was not lost on him.
He quickly brought out another pot to collect the second leak while her back was turned. "What marks, baby?"
She gestured the obvious blemished on the walls. "These marks, darling. Didn't you notice them when you decided to rent the place?"
He turned to her. "Actually I didn't. I saw functional accommodations that are fine for the time being."
Leia was not sure what he meant by the time being, but she didn't want to enter that conversation now.
"Did you even look around at other places? I'm sure you could have found something better." She was getting frustrated. "Can't even trust you to do something so simple…"
He can't say he was surprised at her frankness, but he was hurt at her accusations. "Yes, Leia. I saw a few apartments, but this one was the best I could find on short notice."
"Oh, I highly doubt that!" she berated.
"Well, I'm sorry your Worship that I'm not up to your perfect standards like your perfect house and your perfect husband!
"Perfect house?" She turned to him with her hands on her hips. "Perfect husband?"
He squared off with her. "You know what I mean, your Highness!
He was insecure. She knew that and she would be more sympathetic under different circumstances. "Han, I have had enough…" She felt another leak pool on her shoulder.
He grumbled as he pulled out another pot to place under it.
"You see! This place is falling apart!" She yelled, feeling her blood pressure rise to a new high. "It's not fit for womp rats, much less humans."
"Well I'm sorry! Next time I'll be sure to inspect the roof before I place money down on a building! Now I'm asking you to stop your bellyaching!"
Now she was really on a roll. "I will nag if I have reason to Han Solo!"
His face was red with fury. "Well I won't have it in my house so why don't you just find another place!"
She was taken aback by that statement, but not enough to calm her temper. "Is that what you really want Han?"
"No!" he shouted, still in battle form. He quieted down after realizing what he said. "I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say."
The brief lull in their brawl gave him a chance to notice the cut on her lip. "What's wrong with your lip?" He asked, gesturing to her face.
Her hand automatically went to her mouth. "Nothing," she said automatically. "I bit it."
That seemed to appease him, so she continued, fixated on his stinging statement. "Maybe I should just leave if that's what you want!" she fumed.
She swore she saw a moment of panic as he rushed towards her and placed his hands on both her shoulders. "No you will not! You will stay right here!"
She couldn't hide the wince she made when he touched her there.
He noticed. "Leia…" worry dripping from his mouth.
She kept her dark eyes on him, not showing weakness but not rising her anger.
He took this as permission to lower the sleeve over her shoulder to reveal a hand-sized bruise. His eyes, as wide as they had ever been, his anger practically steaming from his ears. "Did he do this?" His voice at a frightening pitch.
She wasn't going to lie, but she was sure as hell going to stop him from doing something stupid. "Han, stop. There is nothing you can do."
"Isolder…" Han hissed, pulling her shirt back up and taking a step back to get some space. "I'll kill him…"
"You will not." She shrugged off his threat, though she knew he would if he thought it would help her. "I don't need your protection." She followed him as he backed away from her, pressing her finger into his chest. "You're not my husband."
"And you're not my wife!"
They reached a stalemate. They were toe-to-toe and their eyes locked on the other.
She was getting tired. She didn't need this. "I'm willing to give up my whole life for you, Han. Everything!"
"And I gave up everything for you!" he countered.
"Well why did you?" she spat.
"I thought that was obvious Leia. Because I love you!"
"And I love you!"
As soon as she finished, their lips crashed together. Without another second to lose, he drew her towards him and ran his hands down her back. Leia was just as responsive as she moved her hands to grip his chest and forcefully rip open his shirt. She ran her hands over his bare chest and up over his shoulders, her nails digging in and marking his skin. Their tongues continued their war, silent except for breathless whimpers that came out of both of them.
He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist and lifted her to his level. She automatically wrapped her legs fast around his middle. He walked them over to the marked wall and leaned her against it, freeing his hands to snake up her sides and over her chest. His hands eventually moved up her neck and the touch turned from passionately rough, to lovingly tender. They broke their kiss and their eyes met in a silent moment of understanding and forgiveness before returning to each other's bodies.
They took turns placing kisses to the other's skin and whispering their own form of apologies.
"It really does need some work, but I can fix it."
"It will be perfect, Han."
They both calmed and their kisses turned into soft, loving caresses. She slid down his body and wrapped her arms around his center.
"Han, what did you mean when you said earlier about this place only serving us for a short amount of time?"
He spoke into her hair. "I mean that once our divorces are finalized, I hoped we can buy a nice place and not need to hideaway. That's why I snagged this one. It's farther away, no press, nobody to watch us."
She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him. "That was a good idea."
He caught the apology between the lines. But he didn't forget about the sight he saw on her upper arms. He didn't try to hide his disdain as he bent over to place kisses through her shirt where he saw the black and blue forming. "I'm not done talking about this."
"Later." She let him apply his own emotional salve for a moment before she turned the conversation. "Han," she sighed rubbing her hands over his hips along his belt.
He hummed at her touch, his face lifted. He held his breath trying to keep himself in check.
She scratched his skin under his shirt. "Show me our bed."
No four words ever sounded better to his ears. "Thank gods!" He lifted her in his arms again and continued his exploration of her with his mouth.
"Lights off," she reminded him between moans.
He turned the living area light off as they moved through the bedroom door. The room was only illuminated by the glow of the dimmed cityscape through the window. With no curtains yet, the illumination was just enough for what they planned to do. The rain added a raw element to the atmosphere.
He ever so gently deposited her on the side of the bed and they both kicked off their shoes. He only just managed to get his arms out of his shirt before she pulled him down on top of her making it impossible for him to hide his arousal.
"Mmmm, baby," she cooed feeling his weight on her.
He covered any more sounds with his mouth, thoroughly melting her into the mattress. His hands made it to the hem of her shirt. This time he lifted it over her head without hesitation and quickly unclasped her bra from behind.
Once her arms were free, she pulled his neck back toward her. He halted and took a moment to run his fingertips over her eyes and her lips. "Don't have makeup on," he commented.
She shook her head. "And?" she asked, confident she knew his views.
Running his fingers along her hairline, he leaned over and placed his lips over each eyelid and down to her bare lips. "Beautiful," he exhaled. "Absolutely beautiful. Like the day I met you."
Her inner glow brightened considerably with his words. "Aren't you a catch."
He moved his hands towards the buttons on her pants and kept with their frantic pace. "Better not let me go."
She felt his fingertips over her skin. "Keep going like this and I'll keep you forever."
Sitting up on his knees, he found the zipper and drew her pants and underwear down her legs and thew them to the floor. With her bare beneath him, he started at her ankle and slowly ran his fingertips up her leg, around her hip, across her stomach, and over her chest. "You promise?"
She panted from his touch and his words. Finding his hand on her chest, she linked her fingers with his. "I promise."
She pushed on his hand and flipped him onto his back with her straddling him. "Do you feel that?" she asked him, her breath blowing hot against his ear.
He swallowed, he certainly felt that. "Oh yea," he sighed resting his hands at her hips and stroking them over her bottom.
"Not that," she admonished playfully. "The sheets on your back. Do you feel them?"
He furrowed his eyebrows. "Uh…yea?"
She chuckled and smoothed her hands slowly down his chest. "They weren't washed. They're still stiff."
He still looked at her questionably. "Was I supposed't do that?"
"Yes, if you want soft sheets," she said while using his chest to push herself on her knees between his legs. She made quick work of his belt, pants, and boxers as she shed them from his body.
"Oh Leia…" Han pled as he was finally bare before her and he watched her slowly crawl over him.
"What?" she teased, her hands halting on either side of his pelvis and caressing the skin it found there.
"If ya get down here right now," his hands reached for her shoulder as he pled with her. "I'll buy and wash all the sheets you could ever want."
Smiling at his vow, she sunk down onto him and quickly found herself flipped onto her side with his hands pulling her knee around his waist and his tongue insisting against her mouth. She reveled in the feeling of his skin against hers. It had been so long. She twisted her hands in his hair and waited for him to break for air before she uttered her own vow. "I love you."
"I know."
They forgot all about the leaking roof, the mess around the flat, and even Leia's bags that were still in her speeder. But they soon remembered how perfect their bodies felt when they were pressed against each other in the closest way imaginable.