Chapter 54: Healing

Dad doesn't want to come back? That it'll be better that he stayed dead? How is that even possible? Me and mom needs him. I don't understand. Is it my fault that he doesn't want to come back? Yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe I'm the reason dad doesn't want to come back. Then again. When I was giving my all, and it felt dad was right there with me. Telling me to stop doubting, to stop thinking all these negative thoughts. That I'm more than enough to win. I'm his son. I should never have doubts on who I am, or what I'm capable of. And the fact he remembered what I want to be when I grow up, was even more encouraging. Was that his final way of saying he wants me to follow my dreams. I have a lot of questions, and no answers. Maybe mom would help me understand better.

As I flew home, I mumbled how I would break the news to mom. Maybe I should tell her we won the fight first, and then tell her "but dad" and go from there. No, no. that won't do. Mom is going to be so heartbroken. Man, this is hard. What am I going to do? I was crying the moment I landed in our yard. I had to calm down, I just had to. Time to be a man and just tell mom. Hu? Grandpa and Ms. Baba is here.

"Mom." She looked at me, and then at the door. Seconds felt like hours, when she finally looked at me. There were tears in her eyes. "Mom. Dad. He isn't coming… back." I tried to hold back my own tears, as I watched my mother break down. After a long moment, mom hugged me, and we ended up crying together.

The rest of the day, grandpa stayed and even cooked for us. Baba had left a while ago, and after dinner mom and I took a bath. Mom then pulled out the family album; saying something about adding the new pictures. That's when a whole new set of tears began. The next day was a bit awkward. It was after lunch Ms. Baba gave us a visit.

…

Even though I knew there was a chance, I still couldn't believe it. My Goku is gone for good. I could hold back the pain I was feeling, as I whaled out how broken my heart as become. I soon had a moment of remembering about Gohan, and how he just lost his father. I hugged my baby boy, and tears just kept coming.

I was so grateful my dad was here, and he even cooked for us. I was starting to feel a little ok, and asked Gohan if he wanted to help with the family album. That was a mistake, as we left in tears again. The next days was slightly better. The pain was still there, but I just kept reminding myself the promise I made, to my sweet Goku. I have to be strong. That's when I absentmindedly rubbed my belly. I might not be showing, but I still wonder. Um? How is Goku going to be here, so we can tell Gohan the news? That's when I heard a knock at the door.

It was Baba, and she looked slightly happy. I offered her some tea, and we had a small chat. She said she came as a favor for someone. I was a bit confused, but slightly happy. Could it be? She then asked that Gohan sat with me, on the couch. She then got off her crystal ball, and said some words. And that's when we saw him. That's when a new set of tears began to fall. "DADDY!" Gohan had rushed over to the ball, and was practically hugging it, as if he could somehow hug Goku.

"Hey there kiddo. Don't cry. I'm so proud of you." Gohan kept saying how sorry he was, and how he blamed himself. Goku kept trying to reassure him, and tell him everything is going to be ok. It took a while, but Gohan finally calm down, and was smiling. "There's that smile. Daddy is so proud of you. Always remember that. Ok?" Gohan nodded, and told him that he will. "Now there's something me and your mom has to tell you." I guess that's my qui. I walked over to Gohan, and had my arm around him. He looked at both of us so confused.

Then together, me and Goku said. "You're going to be a big brother."

At first, he looked so shocked, then he looked at Goku angry. "You knew and you choose to stay away! WHY?" He started bagging on the crystal ball. "Daddy!" My little boy looked so hurt, as he cried. "They're not going to know who you are! You won't be here!" I tried to pull him away from the ball, only for him to push my hands away. "I don't want to be a big brother! I WANT YOU, DADDY!"

"GOHAN!" It was very rare Goku raised his voice, especially at our son. Gohan stopped bagging. "I know right now it hurts, kiddo, but it'll be ok. And you know I do everything for you and your mother. At least this way, I know there won't be anymore fighting. And you'll be able to do what you always wanted to do, and I won't be in the way. Plus, you get a little brother or sister to keep you company." That's when both my boys started to smile. "There's that smile. I'm really going to miss you and your mom, and even your sibling."

With that Gohan had the biggest smile, and hugged me. He then placed a hand on my stomach. "So, that what this weird ki was." I nodded and then he looked back at Goku. "Is that why you looked so worried when we were training?" Goku nodded. He then whispered into my stomach. "I'm going to be a big brother."

I mouthed a 'I love you' to Goku, and he did the same. With that Baba left, and me and Gohan went about planning for the baby.

…

I'm going to be a big brother! I can't wait to tell Mr. Piccolo. There'll be so much stuff I get to do with them. I even get to tell them stories like dad did. Oh! And I get to play all types of games with them.

Today we're saying good bye to future Trunks. As we were saying our good byes, mom handed him a container of her homemade cookies. And also, a picture, saying if she was still alive in his time, to give it to her. Once Trucks left, Bulma said we could stay and even party a bit. Mom and me were in between doing so, or just going home. That's when I noticed baby Trunks, and I told mom we should tell Bulma, that Trunks is going to have a playmate. Mom look both happy, and concerned with that idea.

As we walked over to Bulma, Vegeta walked in our way. He gave mom a weird look, and she smiled back. "You can tell?" He nodded. "Looks like your son is going have a little playmate in give or take 8 months." He just shook his head, and walked away. I then looked at mom, and she seemed to giggle. "At least he didn't say no." That's true. And then we were surrounded by everyone. Turns out they heard what mom said, and they were congratulating her. I even got my hair ruffed up. Then Bunny offered us some cakes, as she and mom talked. Then Bulma came, and asked to speak to mom alone. I wonder what all that's about.

…

I still don't understand why Bulma wanted to talk alone. It just felt weird. When we finally entered an empty room, is when we sat down and she spoke. "I'm sorry." I was shock. I wasn't excepting an apology. "I'm sorry how I been treating you. I'm also sorry for your lost. I know it's too much to ask, but could you ever forgive me?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

She looked in disbelief. "But I was so awful to you. I even insult you, and didn't even respect you. How can you simply forgive me so easily?"

"Goku isn't the only one who easily forgives." I couldn't help smile at her.

"You and Goku really do belong together." She giggled, and I was left confused. I asked why she said that. "You both are so good nature. I didn't realize it before, but I do now. You forgave Piccolo, even when he caused you so much pain. You're also so fearless, given how you don't back down to anything or anyone. I should have seen it from the start, but I was so blind. On top of that, you can easily be considered the strongest female on the planet."

"Thank you, but you don't have to say that." That's when I started to see tears sliding down her face.

"I'm kind of jealous of you."

"What?"

"Yeah. At the tournament, when we all met up again, I saw how cute Goku turned out to be. I was shock. Even though I was on a on and off relationship, with Yamcha, I thought I might have a chance with Goku. After all, we knew each other for so long, and he turned out to be very handsome. I'm beautiful, any guy would love to have me. But during the whole time I was trying to get his attention, he completed ignored me. Then you showed up, and what Yamcha say, Goku just couldn't keep his eyes off you. Yamcha said how Goku seemed to be so into you, that he almost missed his number being called, and he even tried to talk to you." I was slightly surprised by this, but I didn't know what to say. "I yelled at him since we met, and he paid me no mind. You do it, and it's like you put a spell on him. It was the first time Goku paid any attention to a female. We all thought he was a lost cause, till you came along. And while I was on planet Namek, I had a moment of realization. What if I didn't lose my chance with him, but really, there was never a chance to begin with. So, please Chichi. Please forgive me for all I've done." She was now crying, and I couldn't help try to wipe away her tears.

"I forgive you." With that we both smiled.

…

These first few months were kind of awkward. Mom ki behavior was more and more noticeable. But whenever it went down, and I would panic, she would say how everything is fine. Also mention I did exactly what dad did, when she was pregnant with me. How he didn't leave the house to train, because how worried he was. If he had to go out for any reason, she wasn't allowed to move from whatever spot she was. Mom is telling me all these things with a smile, but it's almost painful to hear.

Even though I'm happy I'm going to be a big brother, I still feel hurt inside. Somehow, it just doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel complete. There's days I would notice mom would be sewing something, and she would wear dad's favorite jacket. Or when she's cleaning, it's like a habit of picking up his photo and kissing it. I feel so sorry for mom.

Sometimes Bulma visits us, and she would bring Trunks. I would end up playing with him, while they spoke. Mom would even joke, saying I'm already acting like a big brother. And whenever I tried to study, when they visit, I would get so annoyed that Trunks would touch my stuff. If this is how babies are, I don't know if I want a sibling.

Somewhere along these months, mom allowed me to do weekly visits to everyone. She says I need to have as much fun as possible, before the baby comes. Sometimes on these visits she would join me. Also, sometimes she would take me places, to have fun and explore. I think mom just doesn't want to be home. I must admit, being in that house without dad does feel weird at times. I think that's how mom feels too.

…

It's only been a week since he's gone, and I can't get past it. I have yet to clean his last set of dirty clothes. I can't bring myself to do it. I would even hug them at night, and just for a moment I'm falling asleep with him. I started even wearing his gi pants during the day. And when I send Gohan out, to visit his friends, I would just wrap myself in Goku's clothes. "I'm going to miss you so much. I wonder what you're doing. Probably having fun fighting and training. Yeah, that sounds about right. Maybe you'll see your grandpa. Maybe your brother again, or even…" I felt tears rolling down the corners of my eyes. "Maybe even your parents. Wouldn't that be nice? My Goku meeting the family he never knew he had, and getting all his questions answered. My Goku deserves some sort of peace." With that thought, I finally get off the bed, and set to finally wash these clothes.

As the months go by a lot of things been happening. Bulma would visit, and Gohan would have play time with Trunks. It would be so cute. Also, surprisly, Krillin would visit, and even invited us to his wedding. For some reason, Goku's second death had made his friends visit me more. It feels weird. Like are they trying to make up for something? I don't know. What I do know is that at least my boys will have people to rely on. Oh, I haven't told Gohan yet that I found out he's going to have a little brother.

As the day gets closer, my excitement and nervous grew. I only have one more month to go. Gohan is out visiting Piccolo, and I'm home alone. I was just in the middle of cooking lunch, when I felt a sharp pain. That's weird. I shouldn't be feeling contractions so early. I'm probably just imagine it. So, I just go about my day as normal. I walk around the house, tidying it up. Maybe I'll wear Goku's jacket, it is kind of cold. Then what can you expect since it was late December. That's when I feel the pains again. I mentally reach out to Gohan, cause it's then, that my water broke. Panic started to sink in, and I grab Goku's jacket tighter.