"We were also told that first kills were going to be hard, but they never truly warned us about losing friends for the first time…I guess death is something we never really get used to"-Edith M. Brown Diary, 850

Spring 850
Trost City District

It was clear to Edith that Armin had fallen prey to shock, but who could blame him? He'd just watched his brother die right before his eyes and he'd done nothing to stop it, too frozen in fear to help. With shaky fingers, she pulled the flare gun from her belt and fired a red round up into the air where it joined the other signal flares, telling the others not to come this way.

She then glanced around at the sound of more thundering footsteps approaching their direction, the Titans were closing in. It was time to go, but there was no way Armin was going to willing move. He'd stopped wailing by now, but the tears still stained his face and he looked down at the arm in his grasp with a glassy stare.

With a sigh, Edith knelt in front of Armin and tried to get his attention. "Armin? Armin? I'm gonna pick you up now, okay? You're gonna need to hold on to me, okay?" When she only got a glassy stare in return, she bent forth and pulled him over her shoulders. It took her a moment to get him situated so that he hung comfortably over her shoulders like a large floppy scarf.

Standing upright, she adjusted him a little more and was relieved to feel him lock a hand around one of his legs, in front of her chest, effectively hog-tying himself. Edith tried not to think about the limb he still clung to as she took off for the squad she had spotted a few roofs over.

"…Wake up! Armin! Hey! Can you hear me? C'mon! Snap out of it! I need you to talk to me! Say something!" Connie called as he shook Armin by the shoulders. Armin blinked a few times, bringing things into focus as if he were just waking up. Looking up at the relieved face of his friend, Armin couldn't help but sag into the embrace a little.

He could vaguely remember Edith bringing him over to the other squad of his classmates, and asking Connie to watch over him as she went to scavenge a nearby body for supplies. He remembered her taking Eren's arm from him and wrapping it gently in a pillow case, before giving it back to him, stating that he was starting to scare the others.

"There you are, you with me now? What's going on? Where's your squad? Armin, let's get you on your feet, you shouldn't be out here alone. What the hell you got all over you that's so damn slimy? What happened?" Despite Connie's gentle tone, Armin still jolted at the questions, staring wide-eyed up at him before he started to wail once more, gripping onto his hair as he bent in half.

Edith chose that moment to return, landing next to a shaken Connie who was staring at Armin, watching him come undone. "Dammit man! I told you to watch him, not set him off!" Edith grumbled as she whacked Connie up the back of the head.

"Ow!" Connie whined as he rubbed his head and glared in Edith's direction.

"All right, what'd you do?" she asked, putting away the last of the supplies she had gathered (mostly refilling her gas tanks from the bodies that littered the streets. It may have been dishonourable to pick apart a corpse's belongings, but it there was one thing she learned from Eight Mile, it was to not waste what little you had).

"I just asked him about what happened to your squad, then he just went nuts"

"Ymir's right, our squad is dead" Edith sighed, ignoring Connie as he stiffened and knelt down in front of Armin who had quietened down by this point, but tears were still staining his cheeks.

"Oh, please don't kill me for this Armin" Edith breathed as she quickly slapped him across the face, hard enough to leave a hand print and bring him out of his reverie. "We gotta go now, Armin. Can you stand?" she asked, the gentle tone of her voice contrasting against her actions.

"I-I'm sorry" Armin muttered as he got to his feet and robotically made his way over to the edge of the roof, ignoring Connie's protests as he set off for the rear guard.

"Don't worry, I got him" Edith muttered from her place next to Connie as they watched Armin leave, his head hung low, "We'll see you guys later, yeah?"

"Yeah, see you later" Connie replied, wincing at the pained smile Edith gave him in return, before she followed after Armin down the street.

Edith followed about a half a metre behind Armin, giving him enough space to sort out his thoughts, but also being close enough that she could help should something go wrong. It was clear to her that he had just lost the only family he had left, she should know, it was similar to how she had reacted during the failed operation to retake Wall Maria. So it was to no ones surprise that he flew face first into a two-story wall, before sliding to the ground and laying there in a heap.

Edith landed lightly on the ground, a little ways behind him as he continued to weep for the brother he lost. It was only just now hitting her how eerily quiet it was here, the abandoned city reminding her of the ghost stories her mother used to tell around the bonfire. Edith turned to the only sound that broke the captivating silence.

The scene she found was one she knew she would become familiar with; someone trying to bring their loved one back to them. She also knew from her training at the Civilian Medic Clinic what was about to happen when she intervened. People often saw medics as angels, one's who held their loved one's life in their hands and when they died, those so-called angels were no longer worthy of the title.

"Hannah? What are your doing?" Edith called gently as she squatted down on the other side of Hans. The girl in question was desperately trying to breathe life back into her partner, unable to swallow the fact that he was already long dead, the CPR doing nothing but inflating the lungs of the cooling corpse.

"Oh God Edith! Help me please! Hans quit breathing and I can't wake him up! He won't respond to CPR!" she cried, tears streaming down her face as she continued to do chest compressions. Edith felt, more than saw Armin join her at her side as he watched the scene play out before him.

"Edith! Please! You're a medic! Can't you do something?! HELP HIM!" Hannah cried, pulling on Edith's heartstrings. Carefully, she moved over to Hannah's side, slowly as one would approach a wounded animal and wrapped her arms around Hannah's shaking form, trapping Hannah's arms against her body.

"C'mon Hannah, we need to get to safety" Edith whispered in her ear.

"NO! Not without Hans! I'm not leaving without him! You can't make me!"

"Come on Hannah it's time to go" Edith whispered as she pulled the girl to her feet, fighting against her struggles, Edith was able to hold Hannah bridal style as she and Armin landed on a rooftop overlooking the street they had just been standing on.

Under the shade of the bell tower, Hannah turned on Edith, snapping at her through tear-filled eyes. "WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?! YOU BITCH! YOU COULD'VE SAVED HIM! HE'D STILL BE ALIVE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU!" Hannah roared as Edith wrapped the girl in a hug and sank to the ground.

"He's gone, Hannah. He's gone" She replied as she rocked the weeping girl to and fro like a mother would their child.

"You could've save him…"

"I'm a medic, not a miracle worker, Hannah. No one can bring back the dead, trust me…"

Off to the side, Armin watched the two girls through blurry vision as the events of the day played out before him. He'd lost his brother and Hannah's attempts to revive Hans had brought back feelings he had been trying to repress.

"Please stop…please stop doing that…I can't…I can't take it…" Armin whimpered as he watched the taller girl beat her fists against Edith's chest, the hits slowing down until finally they just rested between the two.

Edith looked up at the weeping boy and stretched out her free arm to him, "C'mere Armin" she invited, pulling the younger boy into the hug, rocking all three of them as they wept for their families together.

Here in this moment, Armin remembered the long lost feeling of a sibling's love as he listened to Edith's gentled heartbeat beating in his ear, the sound calming him down as he continued to be rocked back and forth, pressed up against his classmates. It was here in this moment, that he promised himself he would become stronger, to make his friends, his family proud of him; because he wanted to protect what little family he had left. A small watery smile danced across his face as he closed his eyes, listening to the gentle heartbeat in his ear. Eren would've killed him if he'd left Mikasa to fend for herself.

Edith continued to rock the two spread across her lap as she looked up at the grey clouds blanketing the sky. She turned her face up with eyes closed to the rain that was starting to patter down on them and washed away any trace of tears. There were days just like these that reminded her of the first time her mother had actively shared in her love of all things alchemy, particularly alkahestry.

Edith had always known that something wasn't quite right with her mother, ever since she had returned from an expedition a few weeks ago. Freya said she was sick, that it was the kind of sick where she might not get better. Edith believer her, she had seen it.

There would be days where her mother was practically bouncing off the walls, her excitement almost tangible and her laughter filled every nook and cranny in the old house. On those days, Edith would play with her mother, doing everything from tea parties to sword fights.

But the best part was when her mother would show her, her alkahestric books. The ones with the complicated diagrams and pretty flowers. Where she would help her mother heal the bird that flew into the window, or the stray cat that liked to frequent their backyard. Edith enjoyed those days the best.

But that wasn't all of it. There would also be days when her mother wouldn't leave her bed, so consumed in her sadness that Edith could almost taste it. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't play. She'd just lay there, barely breathing as if even that hurt to do.

Sometimes Edith wondered if she'd done something wrong. Maybe if she did better at school? Or if she tried to get along with her siblings more, would her mother smile again? She didn't know, Edith never like these days. But they helped, those bad days helped to drive Edith forward, she just wanted her mother to smile again. She'd never get the chance.

Edith was brought out of her musings by the sound of thunder rolling across the sky, glancing up she saw that the clouds had darkened considerably and the rain now came down in heavier buckets.

"Come on, we should go" Edith murmured as she nudged the soaked two in her lap to get up. Neither of the pair looked at the other as they wiped their tired and blood-shot eyes, run red from all the crying. Edith checked her gas tanks and made sure that everything was still secure one last time before the trio made their way over towards where the rear guard was stationed, newfound and weary determination locked in their souls.