Lissa

Dimitri came back from his visit with Rose the day I was told the first batch of charmed jewelry were being sent out and distributed among the Strogoi, which is harder than you think. I got together a group of Guardians to hunt down some Strogoi after I was able to get the charms GPS tagged. The same Guardians were now tasked with keep tabs on these Strogoi, check in every week with them and see if the charms are doing any good.

Dimitri caught us up on everything but I could tell there was something his was hiding. Well – I knew there was something going on because now Rose had put up a wall in our bond so all the work we were doing, trying to train the bond to go two way was a waste of time. Rose had gotten some things my baby while she's working. I almost cried at the thought.

Janine had tasked herself with being my near guard while we try and find a replacement for Rose. She was there every morning and was a great help. Sometimes I felt guilty about that. Rose had to do this all on her own, not knowing who she was, who the father was, where her family and friends were. I knew it had nothing to do with race – it just made me understand that there was a huge difference in the way we were treated and raised. If I was in her position, if I had been in that crash, lost my memory – I don't think I would be able to do it. I wouldn't have done as good of a job raising this baby on my own like Rose had.

I talked to Rose every day weather that be on the phone or when Rose would drop some walls in our bond and I knew I was lucky to have a best friend like Rose. Christian and I were planning on a re-do wedding shoot – we were going to get dressed up again and this time Rose would be in some pictures that I would cherish forever but that was planned before Rose decided that she didn't want to be a Guardian anymore. I sighed as everyone left our house leaving only Christian and I.

"You're thinking too hard." I gave him a smile. "I got a call from that school in Russia."

"And? What did they say?" Christian draped my legs over his.

"They really want me to go over there." I rested my head on my hand.

"When?"

"In the new year." Christian shook his head. "I can't go. Not with Rose here – it's one thing for Aly to be here and Rose in Pennsylvania. Imagine having her in a different country." Christain shook his head. I sighed and agreed.

"You're doing great here, you know." Christian smiled at me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

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Christian left early to set up for his class. I spent the morning in bed, not wanted to get up. Every time I moved I didn't feel the best. Janine knocked on bedroom door after I texted her to come into the house. Janine came in with dry crackers. I smiled gratefully as she handed them to me.

"Thank you." Janine smiled at me.

"No problem." I looked at her.

"Have you talked with Rose yet?" She shook her head.

"It's not something I want to do over the phone. I need to talk to her face to face." I gave her a smile.

"You'll have this with her eventually you know." I replied to her changing the subject. "Rose being pregnant I mean."

"Is she-"

"Oh no! That's not what I meant!" I laughed. "I mean later. I heard her talking to Dimitri saying that they can try for another baby eventually." Janine smiled.

"Rose is a better mother than I ever was or could be." She sighed and straightened. "You can't stay in bed all day you know! Time to get up!"

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX

"Hey Rose!" I was sitting on the couch with my feet up talking to Rose on my laptop. "How are you getting on?!"

"I'm going to come home for Christmas! I took the time off so I can take the two weeks before Christmas and three weeks after because of the bank holiday's in between."

"You're going to be here for the baby?" I smiled as she nodded.

"Of course! I would never miss it!" She beamed. "I just can't get off for Dimitri's birthday! That sucks. Paul's still in school so Dimitri's family won't come over."

"That must be hard." I was thinking as I leaned my head on my hand. "What if we take Aly for the weekend?" Rose shook her head.

"No, it'll be Dimitri's first birthday with her. I'll make it up to him." Rose wiggled her eyebrows. I laughed.

"Rose!" I laughed along with my best friend. The front door opened. I turned to see who was opening the door and smiled as Christian came home.

"I better call Dimitri before he has a fit. I love you!"

"Love you too! Stay safe!" I closed my laptop and put it beside me.

"I stopped by the canteen and got dinner." I smiled at him.

"Bad day?" Christian shrugged his shoulders as he went into the kitchen, got some plates and came back in with dinner.

"Try to eat." I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Talk to Rose?" I nodded.

"She's going to be for Christmas and New Year!"

"She's going to be when the baby comes?" I nodded. Christian smiled.

"Good! Because I don't know what I'm supposed to do!" I laughed at him.

"All you have to remember is when you're changing a nappy, wipe away from you – at least that's what Rose said." Christian made a face.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore." I laughed and pushed Christian's arm. "How was she?" I shrugged my shoulder.

"Something's going on – she's not telling me something. I can feel it and it has nothing to do with being bound."

"That doesn't sound like Rose." Christian sighed. "If she's keeping something from you then she's probably doing it to protect you."

"Or maybe we're just as close as we were." I put the plate full of food aside.

"Now you're just acting crazy." I glared at him. "You can Rose are insanely close."

"She had four years away from me and all Rose ever wanted to do was become my Guardian and now she's off doing her own thing without me."

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair?" I turned to him.

"What?"

"Rose is more than just a Guardian – always has been. She's not just a Guardian and she only wanted to be your Guardian because you two are family."

"Wow." I struggled to get up from the sofa, swatting Christian's hands away. I waddled angrily to our room and threw out a pillow and blanket. "You can sleep on the couch!" I slammed the door closed and went to the bed.

"Lissa! Come on!" I ignored him as he banged on the locked door.

"Go away Christian!" The bangs on the door continued for a long while before they stopped. Christian was right and that's why I was so angry. When it came to Rose I was always selfish, never wanting her to do anything without me, always wanting her to be around me. I sighed as the tears fell from my eyes. Rose was the one person that deserved a better life and she was going out and doing that – to become more than a Guardian.

I don't know how long it was before I eventually got up and unlocked the door. Christian was sitting on the floor opposite the door. I smiled down at him and was about to get down on the floor when he jumped up.

"Don't think about it." He led me towards the bed and sat down with me.

"I'm sorry." Christian shook his head and wrapped his arms around me.

"You never have to be sorry for anything."

But I did. My life was always easy when Dhampirs struggled. I was going to change this one way or the other.