"Shitty Four-Eyes reckons this will help with the pain…we'll see"- Levi Ackerman Therapy Journal

Beyond the Walls
23rd Scout Regiment Expedition

It all started with his decision to push ahead with the plan to assassinate Erwin, using the low hanging fog as cover. Sure, it might be a little difficult to separate the asshole from his position at the front of the pack. Levi thought as he fingered his knife that sat tucked up the inside of his sleeve. But, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

His musings were cut short when he came upon a grizzly scene. Pieces of bodies and stray limbs were laid strewn about the landscape with blood painting the ground like a macabre artwork. The scent of death permeated through the dense rain, blanketing him in its stench.

"What the hell…happened here?" Levi wondered aloud. A small movement off to the side caught his attention, there was a survivor! A Scout just barely clinging to life raised his head and his hand as he gasped out. "The…Titan…" before he toppled over and died.

Levi couldn't help but think that that Scout had looked familiar, even if he couldn't put a name to a face. Horror settled in his stomach as he looked back the way he had come. "No way…Did we pass each other?" With a quick snap of the reins, Levi raced back into the fog tracing the muddy prints through to another similar scene as the one he had just left.

Just then, his horse lost footing in the slippery mud and sent the both of them careening along the muddy ground. Levi eventually came to a stop when he crashed into a blood soaked body. Despite his hands slipping in the mud and blood a couple of times, Levi was able to push himself up into a sitting position so that he could take stock of the situation around him.

Levi looked down at his filthy hands, instinctively puling out a cloth to clean them when something stopped him cold in his tracks. The pristine white cloth, the one with flowers haphazardly embroidered along the edges in varying colours fell from his hands. The cloth that had been a birthday gift from Farlan and Isabel floated gently to the ground, becoming stained by the blood at his feet.

Eyes blown wide, Levi stared unblinkingly at the head before him. Staring up at him with unseeing stormy eyes full of fear. Red hair that was matted with blood and falling out of their messy pigtails. Pigtails, he'd always said made her look like a brat. Isabel. With trembling hands he reached forward and closed her eyes, unable to look at those dead eyes anymore.

Levi's gaze travelled up towards the groaning, crunching sound a little further down the field. There crouched a Titan, its blood red eyes locked on his as it bit the corpse in its mouth, clean in half. The Titan slurped down the legs, spitting the lanky torso out onto the ground where it bounced and rolled a few times before coming to a stop. The corspe's arms sprawled above his matted mousy hair, frightened eyes staring up at the dark rainy sky. Farlan.

He couldn't believe it. They were gone, dead. But he had been talking to them only moments before! They couldn't be gone! And yet…The Titan seemed to have satisfied its taste with the dead as it moved to go after Levi, the only living human in close range.

Watching the Titan spit out his friend with such nonchalance caused something inside him to snap. How dare it kill his friends! His family! How dare it throw them aside like trash! There was one thing Levi knew for sure as anger and rage covered his mind, blinding him in his sudden need for revenge, this Titan would pay.

Blinded by rage, Levi refused to give the Titan a quick and easy death. Instead, he struck first at its shoulder, then its arms, face, chest. Anywhere he could land a hit. Finally the Titan's head flew clean off the body, sailing through the air as Levi continued his attack. Off with the hands, tearing up the legs and stomach.

Eventually he had to stop, the flailing Titan corpse was becoming too much to dodged and he had to gaze remained lowered as the Titan fell to the ground and the surviving Scouts surrounded the steaming Titan corpse. By now the Titan flesh was evaporating off the bones, leaving only the skeleton behind. Levi hadn't moved once as the other Scouts secured the perimeter. "So you're the only survivor" Erwin began "How pathetic" That did it. Snapping out of his trance, Levi leapt forward, blades drawn and his lips pulled back in a snarl. The perfect image of a feral child.

"I'm going…to kill you!" Levi growled as he engaged Erwin in combat, his blade struggling to move against the stronger man.

"That's why I'm here! These documents revealing Lord Lobov's crimes are a fake" Erwin replied shoving Levi away and dropping a scroll to the floor. "The real ones have likely reached Daris Zachery by now. Lobov is finished"

"You knew everything right from the start!" Levi accused, his expression going from shocked to angry in seconds, "You knew we were after you, and yet you-"

Levi lunged forward to strike again only for Shadis to intervene, restraining the boy before Levi's legs buckled and he collapsed to the ground with tears running down his face. Their last words running through his head as he stared at where their corpses still lay.

"We're counting on you, Brother!"

"Believe in us!"

Levi felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest. The two people in the whole world who meant so much to him were gone. There was no way he would ever get them back. I should've stayed with them, I could've helped! Then maybe they wouldn't be dead! It's all my fault! They died for nothing!

"Don't. You'll regret it" Erwin said, easily reading Levi's face, "If you begin to regret, you'll dull your future decisions and let others make your choices for you. All that's left for you then is to die. Nobody can foretell the outcome. Each decision you make holds meaning only by affecting your decision. We're going to continue the expeditions. I expect you to come with me"

By now the rain had cleared and the sun shone through the clouds, basking the soldiers in its warmth. It's almost like the world was trying to say something to him.

"I don't understand. I've never understood. Even if I believe in my own strength. Even if I believe in the decisions of my trusted friends…In the end nobody…but this man is gazing up at something I can't even see. Fine. I'll follow you, Erwin Smith. I will never regret this decision for as long as I live"-Levi Ackerman

Spring 850
Infirmary, Old Scout Regiment Headquarters

Levi had been wandering the halls of the old Scout HQ for some time now. By now, everyone had gone to bed, well everyone except for Hanji and Eren who were still chattering on about Titan experiments in the mess hall.

Moving from the barracks where the others slept, (girls on the left and boys on the right) he made his way to the infirmary where he found the second newest recruit passed out on one of the beds. Her auburn hair spread out across the pillow like some kind of halo and the cat sat clutched to her chest as she slept. The large ginger cat looked up at him when he entered before tucking his nose back under his paw and going back to sleep, determining that he wasn't a threat.

With a small sigh, Levi crept over and made to blow out the burning candle when he caught sight of the two worn books next to the girl. Two very familiar books. Glancing at the face of the sleeping girl, he wondered how she came across them. He thought they had been lost for good.

Without thinking too much about it, he carefully pried the smaller book from Edith's fingers and picked up the large book from the nightstand before he blew out the candle and plunged the room into darkness.