"Before I was born, she was just a woman…that life is over now…now she is my mother"-Edith M. Brown Diary, 850
There is no noise. Edith can see his lips moving as he talks, she can see her mother flailing against her restraints on the small bed as she screams. But there is no noise, not to her. She is numb. She watched through the cracked door as the old man doused her mother in cupfuls of water at a time, reading from a small worn book as he did so.
Fear clung to the young girl. Not for herself, though she is scared of the tall priest, but for her mother who struggled against her bindings once again. Edith watched the blood drip down her mother's raw wrists and onto the dirty sheets beneath her. The priest shouts over her mother again, shaking a small rosary made of colourful glass beads and three coins with the portraits of Maria, Sina & Rose on them.
He cut a foreboding silhouette, that man. Tall and dark, rimmed in gold. He reminded her of the homunculi from her mother's stories. They gave her nightmares too. His ashen expression turned to one of satisfaction as her mother's struggles stopped and the woman grew still.
Edith gripped tight to the door frame as her mother rolled her head towards the door and locked gazes with her. A tired smile made its way onto her face, lighting it up the way Edith liked. Above her mother, the priest held a dagger poised in the air, the blade glinted in the candlelight.
The priest snapped his head towards Edith, there is nothing on his face now, he has no facial features just a blank mask. There are hands grabbing at her now, gripping tight and dragging her away from the door. She mustn't see. She has to see. Edith gripped tight to the door frame like her life depended on it.
There is one noise that rips through the deafening silence. Cackling. It bounces around the room, surrounding her, drowning her. It comes not from her stone still mother or the blank-faced priest. There is no owner of the laugh or at least not one she can see, but it haunts her; she knows it will give her nightmares.
The hands have wrapped themselves around her chest and head by now, her fingers are being pried from the doorframe. She won't be able to hold on much longer. Almost as if they were one, her mother and the priest speak, their voices in a layered tone that does not belong to either of them. "EDITH MARIE BROWN! FACE YOUR TRUTH!"
The dagger is swung downwards on her mother's still form and blood paints the walls. Darkness claws at her now, it surrounds her, she suffocates in it. Someone, somewhere screams, loud and clear, the sound rattles the windowpanes and it shakes the door. It is loud and heartbreaking. It is her. The cackling laughter grows to a crescendo, drowning her out. She is swallowed by blackness.
Spring 850
Women's Barracks, Old Scout Headquarters
Edith shot up out of bed with sweat making her night shirt cling to the skin. She peeled the soaked shirt off of her heaving chest with a groan as she tried to calm down. It had been a few years since she had had a nightmare that bad.
Despite desperately trying to cling to the last few dregs of sleep, she couldn't for the life of her remember what the hell she had been dreaming about. All she knew was that she felt off, like something bad was going to happen. Above her someone groaned as they turned over in their sleep.
Edith let the water run over her hair and drip gently down the shower drain as she stood under the cold spray. After the particularly unwelcome wake-up call that morning, she had taken advantage of the early morning to wash the sweat off. What had I dreamt of? Why was I so scared?
Shaking herself from thoughts of bad dreams, Edith then lamented on the strange layout of the showers in the Old Scout HQ as she washed the shampoo from her hair. Unlike the showers at the Trost HQ, these showers ran the middle of the room with a waist high structure separating the individual showers from one another with stall doors at the back.
The showers were far enough away from the bathroom's walls that a few benches ran along the only dry patches in the room. There was just enough room for everyone to put their possessions down while they showered. The layout reminded her of the stables, especially with the mouldy jaundice ceiling and cracked tiles. Oh what I wouldn't give for the Trost showers.
Spring 850
Mess Hall, Old Scout Headquarters
The castle's occupants were starting to meander down to the mess hall for breakfast by the time she had gotten out of the shower with very pruny fingers. On the menu that day was porridge, fruit and a roll of bread. Again. Oh well, it's not like she was going to complain, she got double portions as a soldier anyway.
"…What are we doing today?" Sasha asked bringing Edith out of her thoughts. She folded up the letter and tucked it under her plate as she continued to eat breakfast.
"I think we're supposed to be meeting our squads for the expedition today, why?" Connie replied around a mouthful of porridge.
"Just wondering"
"Hey Ed" greeted Ryan Hill (a fellow rookie medic) as he sat down across from her, setting his bowl and cup down on the table. Ryan wore his strawberry blonde hair in a cropped mop that reminded her of Levi's style without the shaven sides and despite his best efforts, even at 20 years old he only ever had a scruffy peach fuzz beard that enveloped his mouth and chin. Something that Edith greatly enjoyed looking at. He was rather short for his age coming in at 5'5" and yet he still towered over her measly 5'2".
The had met, like all good stories do, when he had tried to kiss her and she had broken his nose.
"Hi Ryan" nodded Edith.
"Flapjack?" he offered, waving the rectangular bar in front of her. There was another already sitting in his bowl.
"Yes! But where did you get them?" Edith lit up, snatching the fruity bar from his hand. They had all gone by the time she had gotten her breakfast; first come, first served after all.
"Swapped Piper and apple for it"
"S'good!" she munched happily.
Spring 850
Old Scout Headquarters Courtyard
Most of the day had been a blur of hits, kicks and tricks. The young recruits had gone to meet their respective squads for the coming expedition and were introduced to some of the other lesser known Scouts. As the only field medic on the squad she hadn't really known anyone, sure she had recognised some faces from around the place, but none she could put a name to.
After all the introductions had been done, Captain Rose Willis had gone on to explain where they would be situated within the formation and what their roles would be. Rose would lead the charge with Klaud Berg and Gillian Miles running messages up to other squads in the formation, which left the two vets Gordon Cunnings and Richard Thompson, to run interference on any Titans that came too close.
They would act as the first barrier between the Titans and their small group. That left Edith on the innermost side of the squad, the member closest to the rest of the formation and the safest point on the right wing of the formation. It was only due to Edith's previous experience with Wall Maria in 846, that she had been chosen to be a part of this squad located on the right wing. It was only because of this fact that she had been chosen over one of the other more experienced medics, many of whom had never been beyond Trost and she was shitting herself because of it.
A grunt and thump shook Edith out of her thoughts, bringing her back to the situation at hand as she took another sip from the water skin in her hands. After the expedition explanation, the group had moved on to seeing how each other worked together on the ODM gear and then finally ended the afternoon with some light sparring. Well, she said light, but the hammering that Klaud was receiving from Gordon was anything but. Klaud would have bruises tomorrow for sure.
Edith had gone earlier against Gillian and had done rather well, she thought. Despite being a rather wiry man, he was also rather tall and Edith had used his towering height to her advantage, zipping in and out of reach trading hits with him as she did so. She had lost in the end, but she'd put up a good fight and her new arm had held up pretty well too.
Edith watched Gordon pin Klaud to the dusty ground where the younger man struggled, refusing to yield to the vet. Suddenly, the scene before her brought memories to mind; memories of a day she'd rather forget.
Winter 843
Eight Mile, Shiganshina
It was a day or too after her mother had passed, Edith was still pissed about her father calling in that priest to deal with her mother's 'demons' and then pissing off to God knows where. Why couldn't have just left sleeping dogs lie?
Edith currently sat amongst her siblings and a couple of neighbours at the table as they solemnly ate lunch. Freya had come home from her apprenticeship at the bakery and had brought the day's reject baked goods with her.
"Think we should write Dick?" Freya asked, breaking the silence.
"Do we even have his address?" Isaac replied taking a swig of coffee.
"Whose Dick?" Edith asked gnawing on a burnt iced bun.
"Our grandad" Isaac replied.
"We have a grandad named Dick?"
"We have an asshole named Dick, whose Marie's father" Freya corrected, using their mother's name. No one in the family ever really called their parents 'Ma' and 'Pa'. They hadn't earned the right.
"Where's he live?"
"Orvud?" questioned Philip
"Trost" Freya responded.
"When's the last time ya saw 'em?" their surrogate grandfather , Ole Winkles asked round a mouthful of pastry.
"Like, never"
"Well, it's not like he ever wanted anything to do with us" Philip added. "What's that?" Philip nodded to the files in Freya's hand.
"Clinic bills" she muttered flicking through them.
"They charge you for dying now?" asked George Nells incredulously, their junkie 'uncle' from two doors down.
"Woah, think any of this is real?" Edith asked as she dumped out and shifted through the belongings Marie had on her when she died, tossing the bag over her shoulder.
"Anything worth more than a couple of cents, she would've pawned years ago" replied Freya shifting through the dirty clothes and rusted jewellery.
"Is that all Marie's stuff?" George asked.
"Yeah"
"Sina" It was kind of sad how little there really was. After being dismissed from the military because of her declining mental health, it was still kind of sad to see that all her belongings could fit into a small pack. There was everything from dirty clothes to open tampons to rusty coins. Not to mention drugs galore.
It didn't take long for Uncle George to pocket a couple of bags of drugs (after testing them of course) much to Edith's disgust, who knows how long they had been in there?
"What's this?" Freya muttered as she wrenched open a small ornate box. Inside lay only a single rusted key with a faded tag tied to it.
"What's the tag say?" Caleb asked when he noticed Freya's fascination with the item in her hand.
"49 and…Grey scene? And 32 5 or maybe its a 6? 7623"
"Marie had a flat?" questioned Philip.
"Not a chance, it was probably some dump she was evicted from years ago" replied Freya as she dropped the key back into the little box and slammed the lid.
"Hey, is anyone up to going with me to the mortuary later and figure our what to do with Marie?" Caleb asked.
"What? We can't just leave her there?" joked Philip referring to what their father, Arthur, had done with his own mother-their grandmother.
"Ah, I've called in sick the last couple of days, I gotta work" replied Isaac.
"Uh, I've gotta run a couple of errands this morning and then I got my shift over at Noel's" added Philip.
"I'll go" replied Edith.
"Really?" asked Caleb.
"Yeah, sure"
"I can come" added Ole Winkles, "With the Nordic gone, I got nothin' but time"
"What happened to the Nordic?" Caleb asked.
"Viktor stole it from them" replied Freya.
"How do you steal a pub?"
"Russian, KGB sneaky bastard style. I'm working at Down Under now" said George.
"You are?"
"I'm making great cash, bourgeois ladies love what they can't have. I'd get even more cash if I was allowed to give the old guys hand-jobs"
"Not gonna happen" replied Ole Winkles, sounding like he's already had this conversation with George before.
"It's just hand-to-hand, right?" commented Philip.
"That's what I said!"
"Uh, I don't know. I prefer the hands stroking my junk to be soft, petite and wearing nail polish" interjected Isaac.
"There's plenty of that over at Down Under"
"I gotta go to Jenny's this morning. So, uh, early afternoon for the mortuary?" Caleb asked Ole Winkles and Edith.
"Absolutely"
"See ya then"
It turned out the key that Freya had found in that little ornate box was the key the cellar under the ruins of Jordi's, a pub that sat on the end of Eight Mile and had burned down years ago, long before Edith was born. No had moved to rebuild there on account of the reported 'hauntings'. As it turned out, those 'hauntings' were from Marie who had been living (accompanied by the looks of it) in the cellar that still remained intact.
Shifting through all the things in the dark room, Edith found anything and everything. There was rolls of toilet paper, racks of dirt and clean clothes, a suitcase full of old greeting cards and so much more.
Their father, Arthur, had been somewhat sober as he had hunted through her things that morning, clearly in search for something in particular. It wasn't until he swore, catching Edith and Daisy's attention that he revealed what he had been looking for.
"Shit" he cursed coming across a large red tool box tucked away behind a stack of alchemy books. It was one of the only new things in the room.
"What?" asked Daisy as she turned from looking through the rack of cleaner clothes. Arthur came out into the middle of the room, holding the toolbox like a treasure chest. Once there, he opened the lid to reveal what was inside.
"Kids, I give you, your inheritance" Inside there were bags upon bags of white powder that was definitely worth a fair amount of cash. Meth.
The parlour at the mortuary was not something that Edith was used to. It was all clean white spaces with floral prints and embroidered cushions. She kinda missed the jaundice coloured walls and piss-soaked couch of home, at least there she didn't feel out of place.
After searching the cellar with her father and younger sister that morning, and the bombshell that they had discovered…Well, Edith had hoped that this trip to the mortuary would be nice and calm. But now that she was here…it wasn't like she was going to say much anyway.
"Have you had a chance to consider what sort of arrangement you'd like to make for loved one?" Jenny, the saleswoman asked pouring Caleb a cup of tea.
"Yeah, how do we get her into the ground as soon as possible?" Caleb asked taking a sip of tea.
"Ah, are you Jewish?"
"No"
"Muslim?"
"No"
"Catholic?"
"…Not recently"
"Well, we offer memorial packages for families for all faiths"
"Unless you offer a package for a narcissistic heathens. Let's focus on fast and cheap" Edith had to hide her smile in her cup as she looked at the woman's expression. Ole Winkles had no such qualms.
"This is our most popular and affordable package" said Jenny, handing Caleb a pamphlet to read over, "The Dearly Beloved. It's all inclusive: preparation of the body, classic series casket, viewing gravesite preparation, burial and a lovely engraving in granite headstone"
"How much?"
"$7,600"
"…What else ya got?" Caleb asked handing back the pamphlet while Ole Winkles tried not to choke on his tea.
"The Everlasting Love: preparation of the body, no viewing, wooden casket, engraved granite plaque, gravesite preparation and burial"
"How much?"
"$4,500"
"Cheaper"
"…The Eternal Peace: preparation of the body, cremation and a decorative urn for your loved one's ashes"
"And?"
"$2,300"
"What can you give me for $500 or less?"
"A cardboard box, a gallon of gasoline and our yard out back"
"…I'll take that one" joked Caleb.
"No love lost, huh?" commented Jenny, setting aside the rejected pamphlets.
"It was an eventful childhood" Caleb sighed before leaning forward, "Okay, Jenny. Jenny? No bullshit?"
"Mm"
"What's the cheapest way I can this woman into the ground?"
"…No embalming, we keep her on ice until we can cremate her and give back her ashes in what's essentially an old coffee can. $750" sighed Jenny, handing Caleb a piece of paper. Caleb smiled.
Sitting once more at the table, Edith reminisced over the days events. First, she had shifted through her mother's belongings, then she had found out her inheritance was $70,000 worth of Meth and finally their grandfather Dick had turned up and tried to beat the ever living hell out of Arthur; who was now sporting a black eye and a bleeding nose. Granted they had just stood by and watched as the grandfather they had never met, beat the crap out of their father and then left.
Arthur had barely waited until Dick was out of the house before he wobbled upstairs to find the Meth he had hastily hidden up there upon Dick's unannounced arrival. "Where you going?" Freya asked, receiving no reply in return.
"Fuck. No, Arthur!" called Edith as she bolted up the stairs after her father, her siblings right on her heels.
"Arthur!" Freya warned.
"God dammit, Arthur" said Edith as she watched her father rifled through Lewis' bedroom, tipping things over as he went.
"Where is it?" he asked still searching.
"We gotta destroy it, Arthur" stated Freya.
"Where the fuck is it?"
"I hid it" replied Edith.
"Where?"
"You're lucky that was only Grandpa Dick. What if it had been the cops?" Freya continued.
"Stop Arthur!" Edith added.
"Give it back!" he pleaded.
"You tried to hide it in Lewis' bed"
"GIVE ME THE GOD DAMN METH!"
"OR WHAT?" Edith venomously spat only for Arthur to grab her in a choke hold. Several things happened at once, Freya tried to pry his hands off of Edith at the same time that Isaac pulled Edith out of Arthur's grip and shoved her to the side, out of harm's way.
Arthur then turned on Freya, pulling at her hair who screamed at him. Isaac and Philipp eventually got Arthur pinned against the wall, the two brother's holding him fast as he struggled against their grip. When things seemed to calm down, Edith stood in front of her father with rage in her eyes and slapped him hard across the face, much to the surprise of her brothers.
Isaac and Philip eventually let Arthur go, the family watched as he scurried out the door and into the snow. After a moment of hesitation Freya followed after him, out into the cold. Edith and her siblings stood on the back porch and listened to Freya really dig into Arthur for the first time.
"What the fuck was that?" she demanded coming to stand in front of Arthur.
"It's not yours, Freya" he replied swinging around to face her.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"It's your mother. She was worried about you, all of you. She wanted to leave you something"
"Meth?"
"That was all she had"
"Oh Rose!"
"You don't know anything about your mother!"
"She was never here!"
"She was a beautiful, crazy, fragile, wonderful woman!"
"She deserted us!"
"She loved us!"
"That was love?"
"Yes! Yes! It is!"
"Okay, then why did she leave?"
"You don't know what you're talking about!"
"If she loved us so much, why wasn't she here?"
"She tried! She always-"
"SHE WASN'T HERE! SHE WAS NEVER FUCKING HERE! SHE LEFT! I WAS NINE! Nine and taking care of you, taking care of all of us. I was in fifth year dragging your drunk ass inside from the yard so you wouldn't freeze to death. Staying up all night with Isaac when he had chicken pox, I washed Daisy's shitty nappies, I picked lice out of Lewis' hair and I was here when Edith got her first period, not Marie! Me! And never you, you were too fucking loaded!"
"Stop" Arthur begged as he sat down with tears gathering in his eyes.
"She was a junkie and a drunk"
"Enough"
"She didn't love me" Freya squatted down so that she was eye level with Arthur, her own eyes rimmed-red with tears "She didn't love you. She didn't give a shit about anyone but herself"
"Please…"
"…I'm glad she's dead, at least now she can't fuck us over any more" Edith could only watch as her family fell apart.
Spring 850
Old Scout Headquarters Courtyard
Edith jumped when she was shaken out of her memories by a hand on her shoulder. Blinking a couple of times, she realised that the she was the only one still out here, the others having gone back inside for dinner. Turning to look at the person attached to the hand, she saw that it was Piper dressed in the field medic scrubs. "Mm?"
"You're wanted in the infirmary. It's urgent"
"Okay" Edith let Piper help her up and followed her back towards the infirmary as the rain began to fall.