"Fate often deals us shit hands...it's just mean to be"-Edith M. Brown Diary 850

Spring 850
Infirmary, Old Scout Headquarters

Grunts and groans could be heard all the way down the hall, whoever was in there was in a serious amount of pain. "What's going on?" Edith asked as she exchanged her tan jacket for scrubs and watched as a young red head was laid gently on one of the beds. A frantic teenager stood next to her wringing his hands. He was barely more than a boy.

"Cadet Rosa Jordan has gone into labour. Her water's broken already" replied Piper.

"Cadet? Seriously?"

"Yeah"

"Shit"

"You're carrying on a family tradition, having your baby here. All of my siblings were born here and most of them survived. I'll even cut the cord!" commented the boy, trying to lighten the mood.

"This is your fault, James! This is your fucking fault!" spat Rosa as she was pushed back onto the bed when she arched her back up in pain.

"Right, you. Out" Edith pointed to James

"We don't have time to argue" added Hanji who unceremoniously shoved him out into the hallway.

"No shit. This baby is coming" replied Edith who peered between Rosa's propped up legs.

"Now?" asked Piper.

"She's crowning"

"Woah"

"Quick, who delivered Robert?" Piper asked slightly panicked, referring to the clinic delivery during bootcamp.

"Marley, she was high as a kite and he just slipped right out" replied Edith.

"Go...get Tom Witercomb, he's a nurse"

"No good, he's at Cook County"

"I thought he worked at Rush?"

"No, Cook County Department of Corrections. He shot his wife"

"You're a doctor, right?" Piper asked, turning on Hanji next.

"In biology! I've never delivered a damn baby!"

"I kinda remember what happened during Robert's birth if that helps?" Edith piped up.

"Good! That's good! What do we need?" asked Hanji.

"Uh, towels. Lots of towels"

"There's towels in the cupboard down the hall" said Piper.

"Good, go get them. And bring the kid in here, he's gonna help"

A few moments later, Piper had returned with an armful of towels that they had shoved under Rosa to catch all the fluids and James had been brought back inside and was now holding Rosa's hand. Well, it was more like Rosa was trying to break his hand-which he had the balls to complain about and was immediately shut down.

Piper had had to step outside once she had taken a glimpse of what was happening on Edith's end. Something about it just made her feel faint, she could take half-bitten bodies and headless corpses. But birth? Nah ah. No way, which left Hanji and as the only other medical person in the room with Edith.

"It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay. I'm right here" comforted Hanji over Rosa's screams and grabbed onto her other hand.

"Okay Rosa? I need you to do three quick pants and one long blow, okay?" stated Edith mimicking what she wanted the young cadet to do.

"I'm gonna do it with you, okay?" added Hanji, trying to distract the young girl from the pain as they began to breathe like instructed.

"You're gonna start pushing now, okay?" encouraged Edith from between Rosa's legs, "Alright and...PUSH!" Outside, the storm raged on.

Edith stood next to the shabbily dug hole that would serve as their grave, the shovel she had used was stabbed in to the ground next to her, in front of the sheet-wrapped birth hadn't gone well, a multitude of things had happened and it just did not end well. And despite what the others thought, Edith held the blame. She was the one who took charge, she cut the cord, she delivered the babe. She should've noticed something was wrong, sooner.

With a sigh she then dragged the mother-Cadet Rosa-over next to the grave and pushed her in. Then she jumped down into the hole and gently rolled the still warm body over so that she was facing upwards. Once she was happy with how the body was placed, Edith heaved herself out of the hole and then moved to place the cold babe in his mother's arms.

Edith stared down at the two, her shirt was soaked in blood, rain and other fluids making it turn sheer and cling to her body. Thoughts of the past few hours poured over her as she stared down at the two. It had turned out that James, the father, hadn't particularly wanted the babe but had come to the delivery more out of a sense of duty than love.

It appeared that he feared the girl's father so much, that they hadn't even told him that his daughter was pregnant. Not only that, but James had yelled at her for quite some time about how she had killed his girl. He eventually had to be removed.

In the end, the babe had died because of the when he had been born. He had been premature, coming far too early. Late enough for Rosa to find out that she had a son, but still far too early. There had been far too much blood for Edith's liking, more than was probably natural. In turn, because Rosa was so small, the amount of blood lost during the delivery had killed her. She didn't even get to name her child.

Tears blurred Edith's vision, disappearing in the rain as she shakily poured the gasoline over the two bodies before her. Her hands shook as she placed the can of gasoline by her feet and drew a box of matches from the pocket on her pants. Edith had seen death before, she wasn't quite sure why this one affected her so much, maybe because it was a child?

She gripped tight to the small matchbox and wiped her eyes free of tears, not that she had much success. It took a few strikes for her to get the match to catch alight before she threw it down on the two bodies. Here in this moment, Edith liked to think she understood the fragility of life. How someone could be her one moment and gone the next, like her mother. Like Rosa, like the babe.

Unbeknownst to Edith, Ryan who had risen to get some water in the middle of the night, had noticed someone standing, unmoving in the rain. Curious, he had donned a spare cloak and boots with torch in hand before picking his way through the mud to the person who stood there. Edith barely even flinched when Ryan saddled up beside her.

"Wet wood doesn't burn" Edith stated in return to the questioning gaze Ryan had sent her way when he saw what she had been staring at for the last hour or so.

"You okay, Ed?" he asked quietly.

"I dunno"

"Let's go inside, okay?" Edith let Ryan pull her back inside and out of the rain and into the quiet mess hall. He lead her to one of the tables next to the fireplace where he placed the cloak around her shoulders and knelt down in front of the fireplace as he tried to relight the fire from dinner.

Soon enough the flames were dancing amongst the logs and Edith had unconsciously moved towards the flames, seeking their heat. Tears trickled down her face as she drifted off into thoughts of despair, the firelight illuminating her face in the dark hall. Ryan soon returned from the kitchen, a kettle was set on the table and a mug of tea was shoved into her face; she accepted it almost robotically.

"...Edith you couldn't have known-" Ryan began trying to comfort his friend.

"But I should've! I should've known! Otherwise what's the point?" Edith interrupted.

"So you learn from your mistakes-"

"Mistake? Mistake? Those were people, living breathing people and I killed them! I did everything like you're supposed to, I followed every rule to the letter and they died anyway" Edith cried, tears streaming down her face clutching to her untouched tea "What do you do, when your best just isn't enough?"

Ryan wasn't sure what to say to that, he hadn't been the one to just successfully deliver a baby, only to lose it and the mother moments later. So instead, he placed his mug on the table and moved around so that he was sat next to Edith. Detaching her hands from the mug, he pulled the shorter girl in for a hug, clutching tightly onto her as she cried.

Edith had never been one who was good with words or people, but in that moment, that hug spoke thousands. It spoke of friendship, or love, or hope and support. Ryan may not have known how much this meant to her, but she enjoyed it all the same. A watery smile made its way onto her face as she listened to what he was trying to say.

A few days later, once she had managed to pull herself together, Edith stood in front of the large stone wall that stood above the turreted wall of the Old Scout headquarters and carved two words into it. They were names. These two names joined the many others that littered the wall, finding a home amongst the fallen.

The remembered. She wiped away the dust that had collected in the grooves and ran a hand along the two new names. Rosa and Babe. At least here, they would be remembered by someone. At least now, she could find some peace.