To Leia: Thank you for your review! I'm glad you like my story! :D
To Vmdidi: Thank you for your review! :) Enjoy this chapter too!
To Guest: He's cold and rude in canon... which makes it all the more... interesting once Sakura will get him to warm up to her. I have big plans for this boy. Hueheuheuehuehue :D Thank you for your review!
Enjoy this chapter, you guys! :D
Gaara had taken his wedding ring off before putting on his boxing gloves. His hand still ached from her deadly grip.
He wanted to feel more dull pain.
Gaara was angry.
He didn't trust himself to be near anyone, especially not his wife. She had a temper that ignited his. And she was so, so demanding.
Light filtered through the blinds of the basement, sparks of dust dancing every time Gaara hit. And he hit. And he hit. There was the twisting in his gut, the blood pounding in his head and the metallic taste flooding his mouth.
And he hit and hit.
The punching bag moved with dull sounds. With each hit, it spun around the chains holding it up.
Nothing loosened inside him.
They shouldn't have mentioned Kin. They shouldn't have mentioned his stupid, foolish, annoying inclination to seek her out, kiss her, play right in Orochimaru's palm. Who else was there? Who else had there ever been?
Love only yourself.
Gaara brought his fists to the centre of the punching bag and the shock sent a sharp pain up his arm.
He was angry like he was still 16. He was angry like time had stopped and he hadn't grown and there were still all of his childhood mistakes walling him up. So, he hit and hit. And he thought of Kin and the way Orochimaru had sensed the loss in him, the despair, and used her. Used him.
He was always the naïve boy when it came to love. He thought the wedding would be a clean slate.
Foolish, foolish. He had never belonged anywhere. Did anyone really believe in his redemption?
And yet... She didn't know about his past.
He punched the bag harder. The cords above tensed, rigid jerks swinging the bag back toward him.
Gaara panted, staring at the bag, there was as much anger as shame now, feeding each other. There were traces everywhere, sharp white lines all over his body. His tattoos. His lack of sleep.
He closed his eyes and lower his fists, his head rolled back.
Gaara breathed in and out, but it was like he was choking, a weight continually pressing down his chest. And the anger, never far, never forgotten.
He brought his fists back to his jaw and he punched the bag again, swift left hook, counter right hook when the soft abdomen of an opponent would be.
Sweat poured down his back. His shirt stuck to his skin, the tip of his hair now spiky, dripping down his forehead and neck.
Above his head, someone screeched, muffled, and he froze, blinking rapidly. He lowered his fists. More voices joined in, speaking unintelligibly.
Gaara frowned, tilting his head up, his pants growing shallower.
With his teeth, he rip the velcro adhering to his right boxing glove.
Above, laughter erupted, and he winced.
"What the hell?" Gaara mumbled and removed his other glove.
Sakura held her wedding ring between two fingers, spinning it slowly.
She breathed out, dazed, spinning slowly on herself. She knew she was alone, but somehow, she hoped he would walked down the stairs or appeared out of thin air.
Sakura was never good with silence.
There was ice painfully lodged in her chest, and fire in the pit of her stomach, in her mind, was silent. Extinguished. Muffled confidence. She couldn't swallow.
She was hollow in the gripping silence.
Stiff fingers tore her pearl earrings off her ears. Shuddering, Sakura unclasped the matching necklace from her neck. She clutched the jewelry in her hands.
Squared shoulders, straight back, chin up, she recited shakily under her breath. It shouldn't affect her, silence, being alone, hadn't that been her life for the past three years? Why would a ring, an arrangement change any of that?
It was her, alone, against the world. As always.
Slowly, Sakura lowered her fist to the kitchen counter. She released her hold, exhaling sharply. Her fist curled back to her side. Matsuri had mentioned her clothes and her jewelry were lent to her by designers, but she had forgotten their names, her mind reeling with all the other details, the pages pressed to her palm, someone telling her to sit still as they did her make-up.
She shook her head, breaking free the spinning words and constraints. She didn't want to think about that.
Sakura pinched her lips and turned toward a note he had left on the counter along with his credit card he hadn't taken back. 'Get whatever you want,' he had written on a post-it in his precise handwriting. No loops, no squares, each letter was traced as in a textbook, neutral.
Her tongue between her lips, she aimed and flicked the card away from her.
"I'm not using you," she said roughly and narrowed her eyes at it.
She straightened her back, her hands finding her hips.
Then, she moved as if nothing had happened.
Sakura turned the coffee machine on and looked through the cupboards before she could find a mug. All his dishes were white, simple, without motifs.
"Weirdo," Sakura said under her breath.
While the coffee filled her cup, she opened the refrigerator and took out the milk.
She looked at the many cupboards and gave up looking for the sugar.
Sighing, Sakura's shoulder sank and she looked around her for her messenger bag. She spotted it by the entrance, neatly tucked to the side. She rummaged inside for her laptop, her stomach uneasy. In less than a day, Ino had left her five voicemail and Tenten two. She hated the thought of lying to them, but she couldn't avoid them forever.
She set her smoking coffee mug next to her computer.
Sakura chewed on her bottom lip as she sat by the kitchen counter. Before she could hesitate, she turned her computer on. The moment she logged on her video chat application, Ino called her.
"Here we go," Sakura sighed and answered. "Hey-" she started, laughing nervously.
"HARUNO SAKURA! HE SAID YOU WERE ONE OF A KIND!" Ino squealed, as she pressed a cushion to her chest. "SO SWOONY!"
"It's already out? In the press?" Sakura smiled sheepishly.
She was such a liar. Timidly, her eyes darted to the black square where Tenten's face would normally appear.
"It's on the website of the local newspaper since you're local!" Ino answered and flipped her hair over her shoulder. "You need to tell us everything!"
"Oh..." Sakura managed to say, but Ino was too excited to notice.
Her mind reeled. She should have called with a plan. She should have had a story ready.
"Tenten!" Ino shouted, oblivious. "Switch on your camera and squeal with me! Sakura always dates boring unromantic men. This is a first."
"Hey, you pig!" Sakura protested feebly.
"Can't. I'm in the middle of something," Tenten answered curtly.
"Never mind then! Look at that pic!" Ino's camera switched to her computer screen.
Sakura held a hand to her mouth. The article was titled: "Local promising student found love abroad". At the beginning of the article, there was a photo of Gaara leaning over her ear. Sakura had her eyes closed, one hand over his chest.
Her stomach dropped. 'Oh god...' she thought and forced a smile. They looked... perfectly in love.
"You look adorable!" Ino's face appeared once more and she propped her chin up in her palms. "Come on, Sakura, tell us everything."
"There isn't much to add, no?" Sakura offered a smile. "It's all... out there."
'This is my life,' she thought and the thought crept up her spine, a whisper in her here. She wasn't lying only to her friends. She was lying to everyone.
"Sakura." Tenten said and there was an edge to her voice.
Ino's smile dropped, and she straightened her back slowly, frowning.
"What's going on, forehead girl?"
"It was just so draining," Sakura laughed lightly and shrugged, rubbing her left arm as casually as she could. "That happened after the interview. They shouldn't have printed that one. We were sitting on the couch... those were nice too," she babbled on, and she wished her mind would focus.
She was not disappointed her husband had disappeared.
She was not the misfit with money problems and an annoying loud voice and opinion.
She was Happy Married Sakura.
"What did they ask?" Ino sighed wistfully and her blue eyes sparkled.
"The usual stuff," Sakura laughed and her throat protested and her mind protested and she was such a liar. "They asked about our meeting..." she tapped her chin as if she was thinking about it. 'This is a normal conversation between friends.Don't overthink this,'she told herself inwardly. "Then, I talked about how it was love at first sight."
Ino squealed with delight, her hands curling into fists around her pillow.
"LET ME SEE THAT RING AGAIN!" Ino yelled and tossed her pillow aside. She leaned in forward. "I can't believe you didn't tell us this was a unique piece. Oh my god, how much did it cost?"
"You can't asked that, you Pig!" Sakura shouted and shook her fist at her friend.
Ino fluttered her eyelashes at her.
"She's right, Ino," Tenten sing-sang.
"What?" Ino said flippantly. "His family pushed for it because of that scandal! So, we are working with what we can. Come on Sakura. Hand up!"
Laughing, in spite of herself at Ino's enthusiasm, Sakura held up her left hand.
Ino leaned in, squinting at the camera, then she smirked. She flipped her hair over her shoulder again, rising one of her shoulder in a flirtatious gesture.
"His brother is unmarried, no?" she giggled.
"Shut up, Pig! He's gay!"
"So? I just want a ring! He can keep the boyfriend if he's that important to him."
Ino winked.
"Ten!" Sakura snapped. "Just find her a man already!"
"Can't," Tenten replied and her voice sounded like she was meters away from her microphone. "I'm in the middle of something."
Sakura's smile faltered, the back of her neck prickling. There were times Tenten's weirdness and private life worried them more than it amused them.
Ino pinched her lips and threw her head with a loud sigh.
"Then, why did you pick up at all?!" she shouted exasperated.
"Because I have two hands," Tenten answered, her voice closer, light.
"More like two brain cells!" Ino snorted and Sakura pressed her hands to her lips to keep from chuckling. "My flower business is booming! Now, I need a man. It's the order of things. Money, fame, then, men," she counted on her fingers. "Come on, Ten, help a gal out!"
"What do you think I have? A list of eligible men? You've turned down half of this country!"
"But now, I'm ready for a relationship with anyone from the other half!"
Sakura laughed and opened her mouth her to reply, but a snapping sound interrupted her. She whirled around. Her heart jumped at the back of her throat. She could hear steps.
Someone was here.
"What the hell was that?" Sakura hissed, tensed.
"What was what?" Tenten asked roughly, and the camera flickered on. She was frowning, leaning in, her dark eyes darting behind Sakura. The room behind her was dark, unrecognizable, the resolution grainy.
The knob of a door turned roughly.
Sakura cried out.
Gaara emerged.
"What is it?"
Gaara pressed a towel to his face, his shirt ridding up his short. There were rings of sweat around his armpits and neck, and his hair was messy, falling down his eyes. He approached her and Sakura tensed, gaping at him.
"Who are you talking to?" Gaara asked and pointed at her laptop.
There was something feral, raw, in his movements. They flowed, for once, they didn't tick, halter, or freeze. Scars running up his forearms were deep white lines, tangled with bulging veins and defined muscles.
Gaara opened the refrigerator and Sakura blushed at the muscles of his back rippling through his shirt as he reached inside for a water bottle.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. He drank. Ino cleared her throat and she snapped back toward her laptop.
"Oh my god, Sakura, where are your manners," Ino said and fluttered her eyelashes. "Introduce us!"
Tenten held up her phone.
"Let me just... take a pic and send it to Hyuuga for inspiration."
"Mrs Sakuraaaa... I'm still waiting!"
Embarrassed, Sakura slammed the laptop shut over Ino and Tenten's laughter.
Gaara slowly screwed the cap back on his bottle. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, raising a brow at her.
"What were they saying?"
Sakura deflated, her eyes darting across the room, back to the door he had opened. She had never noticed it. The back of her neck prickled, her hands stiffening around her laptop.
"You were here... the whole time?" she breathed out.
"Working out downstairs. It's on the schedule."
She could feel his quiet presence, the insistence of his gaze. She briefly closed her eyes, refusing to look back.
"Downstairs..." Sakura repeated and she felt even more like a fool, a doll in a stranger's house. "I didn't know there was a downstairs."
Gaara leaned against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Hn. Why didn't you introduce me to your friends? Wouldn't they find it rude that you hung up on them?"
As if on cue, the ping of Ino's text startled her. Quickly, Sakura flipped her phone faced down on the counter.
"Because..."
Gaara raised an eyebrow.
Nothing else came.
"Because, what?" his face hardened.
Whether he was here or not, it shouldn't change anything, Sakura decided as she numbly gathered her computer and messenger bag. She pushed her laptop back in her bag with rough hands, murky mind. And he was still there. Hovering without moving. Demanding without speaking.
Sakura pinched her lips, sobs or laughter uncomfortably rising inside her chest. She was lost since the day she met him and agreed to marry him.
She walked towards the staircase.
"Sakura," Gaara called her back, something in his voice made her stop.
Sakura stood at the bottom of the stairs, tangled emotions and thoughts spinning. 'It shouldn't change anything,' her mind insisted. She let her bag slip off her shoulder and she lowered it to the floor. She looked at him over her shoulder.
"You could have told me you were here."
Gaara frowned at her.
"It's on the schedule."
"I hate your schedule!" Sakura hissed, and she tried to contain her voice, her anger, but it burst between them. And she was loud and annoying, and all the things she promised herself she had outgrown. Shy. Push-over. She shook her head and pointed at him. "You have a mouth. Use it. I'm not reading your schedule like a desperate housewife."
"But I read yours." Gaara said slowly, his pale stare searching her face.
Sakura threw her hands up in the air with a frustrated sigh.
"Because you're a control freak and you can't interact like a human being," Sakura snapped and walked back to him.
His face darkened.
"I'm human..." Gaara said roughly.
Swiftly, she leaned toward him and jammed a finger in his chest.
Gaara blinked, his eyes widened, as he stared at her finger poking him. He lowered the hand holding the water bottle.
"What-"
"So, next time your wife is upset," Sakura cut off and withdrew her hand, breathing hard, "you don't just up and disappear. Hell, try a pat on the back. It shouldn't be so difficult since you treat everyone around you like they're a trained dog."
Gaara cocked his head to the side, his eyes widening.
"Do you often speak of yourself in the third person?"
Sakura shrugged, and spun around.
Still tensed with frustration, she grabbed her bag off the floor.
"I think you'll get at least to three wives before you understand a thing or two about treating human beings with decency."
"You're... You're thinking of our divorce?"
She glared back at him, her mouth curling up in a snarl.
"Now, if you would excuse I'm going upstairs," Sakura pointed toward her mouth. "See how easily my mouth moved to communicate stuff?"
Before she could reach the top of the stairs, Gaara said carefully: "Your mug..."
"It's not mine," she snapped angrily, and her steps grew louder down the hallway. "They are yours. My dishes are god knows where, remember?"
Sakura slammed the door of the bedroom behind her. She threw her laptop on the bed and crashed on it. She pressed both her hands to her face. Her skin felt hot, itchy.
A moment later, she heard the shower run.
Sakura sighed reaching for her phone buzzing in her pocket. She unlocked her screen to look at Ino's texts: Which one looks the best like his set? ;) Her text was followed by nine images of shirtless men with well-defined abs in indecent poses. Tenten had simply texted her to call them back soon with enough typos to suggest she had been busy doing something else when she texted her.
Sakura blushed furiously and flopped on her belly, throwing her phone away from her. She pressed her pillow to her face, groaning.
She tensed when the shower stopped. She bolted upright, her mouth opened, and her eyes darted to the walk-in closet. Why did she have to come here of all places?
As she expected, a moment later, Gaara knocked.
"What?" Sakura squeaked out.
She imagined him a towel now and her shiver ran down her spine. Sakura jumped off the bed and opened the window to let in some air. She pressed a hand to her forehead. The air was hot. She was hot. She grunted.
"I need to change. Can I come in?"
"Yes," she said stiffly, turned away from the door.
"I'm wearing a bathrobe, and I'm human..." he insisted on the word, his voice now hard and cold. "I'm not an animal. You don't have to stand in the farthest corner of the room."
Sakura glanced down at her hands, carefully flexing her fingers. He was right, this was ridiculous. She heard him close the door of the walk-in closet. She grimaced.
"I didn't know there was a door there too?" Sakura cleared her throat. "Is there another room I should be aware of?"
"You're like my brother."
"What?"
"You babble a lot."
She bit her lips together letting the uncomfortable silence settle in.
Gaara erupted from the walk-in closet a few minutes later. He wore an open collar shirt, the sleeves tucked perfectly into his pants, his sleeves revealing his watch. She bit her tongue not to comment on his appearance. She did babble a lot. She was annoying.
Sakura fidgeted with the pillow she held to her chest, refusing to think about the man in sport clothes who had stood in the kitchen.
She rubbed the back of her neck, embarrassed. Even if he didn't understand her native language, there was no way he could have mistook Ino and Tenten's laughter for anything else than what it had been.
Gaara sat at the foot of the bed, his back to her, reached down to put on his socks. She couldn't help, but watch him, holding her breath. He was so different now. Polished. Perfect. Not raw, and sharp and swift. And muscled.
He looked ordinarily built now.
Sakura pursued her lips and glanced away, her cheeks aflame.
"I'm going grocery shopping," he said as if the word cost him.
"Okay," she gulped.
"Do you want to come?" Gaara turned toward her, his jaw working. "I don't know what you like."
They stared at each other, their guards up, tensed.
There were the watch and the schedule, and in-between? Nothing. They were simply strangers.
"Okay, let's go, Gaara-sama," Sakura said blankly and bowed her head.
She stood up and walked around the bed. After she brushed by him, he stood up too, carefully keeping his distance.
"I thought it was Gaara-kun now," Gaara said, and Sakura looked back at him from the doorway.
There was no hint of amusement in his gaze. He said it like he said everything else with a factual monotone voice. He looked tamed now, even if his hair was as unruly, strands poking in all direction. He looked nothing like the man who had emerged from the basement.
'It's the clothes. It's a façade.'
Sakura shrugged nonchalantly, tearing her gaze from his.
"You thought wrong," she replied evenly and cleared her throat.
"Hn."
He followed her silently, replacing her shoes after her.
At the supermarket, Sakura sighed blissfully when the cool air of the air conditioning hit her shoulders. The sun was low, but it was still terribly hot outside. In the summer, the sunset was past meal time, something she had never fully gotten used to in the three years she had been there.
Out of reflex, she grabbed for a grocery basket.
"What are you doing?" Gaara said, and she startled letting the basket go.
She winced and turned back toward him. Gaara was already waiting for with a cart, an eyebrow raised at her.
"Oh, right. Reflex." she laughed lightly and shrugged off her purse to put in the front part of the cart.
"Even alone, I always used a cart," Gaara said and they headed toward the fruit and vegetable section first.
Gaara narrowed his eyes at some of the fruit. The mangoes were rip, sticky with juices, but he looked for greener juice. She couldn't help but frown at the absurdity of Gaara shopping for fruit in what he clearly considered a casual suit.
"Imagine if you had no money and needed to eat," Sakura tried to keep her voice light.
He bagged a couple of green mangoes and reached for a box of dates.
"Hn. Just grab whatever you want," Gaara said dully.
"It makes me feel cheap when you say that."
His eyes darted to her, and again, his stare was frank, direct, without any hint of emotion.
"What should I say?" Gaara asked stiffly and lowered the mangoes and dates in the cart. "You should eat what you want."
Her skin flushed with his proximity and his unwavering gaze. She couldn't move away.
"I'm not sure," Sakura said, her mouth dry.
He leaned in, and Sakura had the sense they were being watched. She glanced away, and everywhere around them, people were slowing down to look at them. She looked back at him. He didn't seem to care.
"What should I say? It's a simple question," he said.
She looked down at her feet, self-conscious.
"Not to me."
His phone beeped, and she startled. Sakura hurriedly turned toward the papayas, putting distance them, her heart still pounding to her ears.
Gaara looked at the text, narrowed his eyes, then slid his phone back in his pocket.
"Do you mind eel?" he said.
"What?"
"Eel. The fish."
"I know what an eel is," Sakura replied quickly, irritated, and looked around her at the fruit and vegetables.
They were still watching them, women and men whispering among themselves.
"That's his wife?" Someone sneered.
Sakura pinched her lips. 'Squared shoulders, straight back, chin up,' she said to herself, but her hand trembled as it reached for oranges. She knew this was coming.
"Then, do you?" Gaara asked, closer to her now.
"Do I what?"
"Do you want some?" he asked even more slowly. "You're distracted. If I should use my mouth more, you should use your ears more."
Sakura picked up an orange testing its firmness in her hand.
"For a second, I thought I was on my way to discover you were actually decent, but I guess that was all in my head," she hissed and walked past him.
"Hn."
They moved to the back of the supermarket for the meat and fish vendors. Out of impulse, Sakura threw chocolate bars in her cart. He raised an eyebrow.
She pinched her lips, refusing to look at him.
Gaara pointed at the fish on display.
"You never answered about the eel. Yes or no?"
She leaned in toward him, agitated. A couple had stopped besides them, glancing in their cart.
"Maybe she's pregnant," she heard the woman whisper to her husband. "The chocolate... and that much fruit..."
"No," Sakura said loudly.
Then, she straightened her back and rearranged her purse on her shoulder. She turned away from him, clearing her throat, a faint blush on her cheeks.
Gaara blankly stared at her. Then, he reached inside the cart to rearrange the grocery, so the fruit would crushed her chocolate. She flushed redder.
"Could you pick the fish then?" he asked flatly and took out his phone.
Gaara typed quickly, oblivious to her or his surroundings.
Sakura turned back toward the fishmonger. His eyes darted between them. Sakura smiled brightly, stepping in front of Gaara to hide him from view.
"Do you have some salmon?"
"Yes, o-san," the old man started, then his gaze drifted again to Gaara before returning to her face. "I have a nice piece for you and your..." the fishmonger licked his lips, waiting for her to fill in the gaps.
Sakura smiled and pretended not to notice the man's curiosity.
"Husband," Gaara finished for the man, while Sakura said: "I'll take it."
The old man's eyes widened in surprise.
"I wasn't aware... Sabaku-sama," he bowed stiffly at her. He wrapped the fish quickly and offered her the package with both hands. "Would you also like some oysters? We have just received them. It's an excellent aphrodisiac. Perfect for honeymooners."
Sakura's jaw tightened and she blushed, at loss for words. Another couple of shoppers were hovering now, pretending not to eavesdrop.
"A dozen," Gaara replied, his head still inclined over his phone.
Her head snapped toward him, but he wasn't smirking or teasing. His face was blank, unreadable, illuminated by the screen of his phone.
Sakura had never known passion or flirtatious love like her best friends. She had dated rationally and kept a levelled head since her teenage years. There had been no flowers or chocolate, or emotional attachment.
Staring at Gaara, she abruptly, painfully, yearned for more. She yearned for the girl with the big dreams and romantic hope. 'But she was a silly annoying girl,' a voice muttered in her ear, and she pinched her lips. No, this was better. No attachment. No emotion. Far, faraway from Konoha and her fangirling days.
'Then, why does it already hurt so much?' the same voice taunted in her head.
If only, there weren't gawked at.
Sakura shook her head.
"Sabaku-sama?"
She looked up at the fishmonger with a smile. He had already wrapped the oysters in a box, holding it out for her above the counter.
"Thank you," she bowed her head in response. Before she could take the box, Gaara reached past her and took it and set it down in the cart.
They toured the market for the next hour, Gaara pausing momentarily to remind her to take what she wanted her or asked her specific questions about food. Sakura asked him nothing. He barely lift his head from his phone.
She tried her best to ignore the looks and the whispers.
"Are you done?" Gaara asked.
"Yes."
The cart was full and Sakura was momentarily anxious and thinking about taking out items. She couldn't afford any of it. She touched her forehead, chewing on her bottom lip. She turned toward him, but her mouth wouldn't move.
Out of pride, out of shame.
"What is it?" Gaara asked and he glanced at his watch before returning to his phone.
"What is what?" Sakura asked stiffly.
"You're frowning and sighing."
She glanced at his hand holding on the cart. His wedding ring was at once simpler and thicker than hers, but it matched hers.
"Stop staring at that phone," Sakura said instead, and she pulled back her shoulders to straighten her back.
How could the gawking not bother him?
"I need to work," Gaara said and pulled the cart closer to the cashier.
Sakura didn't reply.
"I prefer when you speak your mind."
She turned her head toward him, annoyed. He was staring at her, his fingers still on the screen of his phone.
"Like when you shout you hate my schedule," he drawled out with a raised eyebrow as he typed something on his phone.
Sakura flushed.
They edged closer to the cashier again.
"You want me angry?" she whispered more to herself than him.
He narrowed his eyes at her or at something on the screen, she couldn't tell. She focused on his hand again, and she could see faint scars running up under his sleeves.
"It's better than the alternative," Gaara said and when he looked up, she startled.
"What's the alternative?" she asked roughly, looking away from him.
"I understand anger," Gaara replied quietly not directly addressing her question, and he reached inside the cart to pull out the first items to set on the conveyor belt. "I can deal with it."
Her skin hummed from his proximity.
"Are you angry with me?" she breathed out.
"No."
"Hmmm..." she licked her dry lips.
His gaze held hers, waiting, expecting. Her jaw clenched. She didn't know what he wanted, what she was supposed to give him. If she had anything to give him. Wasn't it what she had wanted from relationships? No romance, just pragmatism? Her career before all else?
"I don't care what you prefer about what I say or feel," Sakura grumbled and started helping him. She opened her mouth again, but blanched remembering the card on the counter. "Oh. I forgot your credit card on the counter. I could just-"
He shrugged.
"It doesn't matter, I have others," he said dully. "Keep that one until we go to the bank on Saturday."
"Quit reminding me of the schedule," she groaned.
"Sakura."
She grumbled an acknowledgement, focusing on the weight of the groceries in her arms. She set them down, half-heartedly rearranging them, like he had done, so the bulky items wouldn't crush anything. She could still feel his eyes on her.
A shiver ran down her spine.
"I'm trying to get your things back."
She froze.
"That's what I'm doing. Matsuri is doing a list."
"Okay," Sakura said quietly and the back of her eyes burnt. "Thank you."
She didn't know how to be two. She didn't know how to be with someone. Together. She didn't know how to reach for a cart instead of a basket. Or how to mind someone else's schedule. Or how to clean up after herself because there was him now, and she wasn't alone anymore.
She would never be alone again.
And in that moment, she was terrified.
Somehow, he knew how to be with someone. Awkwardly, hesitantly, he tried.
"Don't forget the bread," Gaara said without looking at her.
She felt herself nod.
'Get whatever you want,' his voice whispered in her head as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
Not to be alone.
Yes, that was absolutely terrifying.
Temari joined her grand-mother for tea every Thursday at her office. When Chiyo invited her instead to join her at the family house, Temari knew she wanted her comfortable, with her guards down.
So, she had worn uncomfortable shoes and a tight dress with loose sleeves with a fabric that rubbed her raw. She had worked long enough as a diplomat and politician to know discomfort was good armour against vulnerability.
Discomfort kept you on your toes.
Temari was hushed in one of the living rooms on the first floor. Her grandmother had picked the blue living room, which had a view on the lake behind the house.
As soon as Temari entered the room, Chiyo waved her over. Temari almost smirked. She was holding one of the picture frames with all of her siblings. 'Love makes you sentimental and vulnerable,' her grandmother had once told her. 'So choose wisely!'
"Hello, obaasan," Temari greeted her and kissed her cheek.
"Remember this?" Chiyo said and held up the picture.
Kankuro was beaming with his law degree, one hand thrown around a reluctant Gaara. Temari stood on the other side of him, watching them both, with a grin.
"Of course," Temari said primly and set her purse next to her. "The following year, Gaara dropped out of med school, which was a better than that night he was arrested, I guess."
Chiyo looked over at her sharply, her eyes flashing with amusement. Temari smiled stiffly. She waited.
"Good girl. Enough chitchat. Let's have tea."
Her grandmother lowered the picture frame to the coffee table and reached for the bell to ring for the maid.
Temari crossed her ankles and smoothed out her dress, glancing around. Nothing had changed since they had all moved out of the house.
"I want your brothers and you to bury the hatchet," Chiyo said harshly. "Don't you all care about all old I am? You're all acting like children! I don't have the energy to chase you around like before!"
"They're acting like children," Temari sneered. "They should be apologizing to me."
Chiyo closed her eyes briefly, nodding to herself.
The maid appeared and served the tea in decorative colourful cups of clay on the low coffee table. She then set a plate of dates and pastries next to their cup. Temari's stomach twisted and her hands curled into fists over her thighs.
Those were her favourites. 'Sly, sly old fox,' she thought.
The maid bowed and left them alone.
"I don't think they see what I see," Chiyo said as if she was musing out loud. She waved at the cup, and Temari reached for one and passed it to her grandmother.
"What do you see, obaasan?" Temari repeated slowly, her back straightening as she retreated to her seat. She didn't touch her cup.
Chiyo clicked her tongue and blew the aromatic steam of the pu'erh tea. She took a quick sip before setting the cup on the small table next to her, next to the picture frame.
"They see you quitting your job and following that lazy punk! Of course, they're getting their panties into a twist! I was shocked at first too! But he's favourite to become the next mayor, isn't he?"
Temari's eyes widened in surprise.
"How did you know? We've worked hard to keep this under wraps..."
"Because I'm old, I can't hear gossips?" Chiyo tutted.
"Obaasan..." Temari tried but Chiyo held up her hand.
"I raised you. I know you wouldn't settle for about anything. When's the wedding? The engagement has lasted long enough!"
"Next month," Temari replied and looked at her steaming cup. Not yet. "We're sending out the invitations soon."
Chiyo shook her head.
"I want it before that."
"Obaasan!"
"Temari, this is a three-year engagement. I've been patient enough," Chiyo snapped. "I've cousins who have had three wedding in that time period."
"It's complicated," Temari said, her voice clipped.
"Nonsense! You tell that boy that his mother has resisted long enough. If she doesn't want to attend, she can comfortably sit back home in Konoha and not come. No one will miss her."
"I'll speak with Shikamaru," Temari said carefully after a moment of silence.
She already had. Many times. From her grandmother's tone, maybe she already knew how Shikamaru's mother kept coming between. Anger and shame boiled inside her as she looked down at her engagement ring.
"Even if you change your mind, Temari, even if it doesn't work out..." Chiyo said more gently and Temari's head snapped toward her, her lips twisting and blanching. "You can always come back here. You've a place here, but it's alright for you to make your place elsewhere. I hear that mayor's state house is very big."
"I just wish..." Temari started, but she stopped, gritting her teeth.
Chiyo waved her worries away and leaned back against the cushions. Her jewelled hand reached for her cup.
"Men are flimsy at best," she sighed and Temari gave her a small stiffening smile. "Your brothers hurt because they aren't the centre of your world anymore. Let them lick their wounds. Now, drink. I don't use my best pu'ehr on you for no reason."
Temari grinned more freely and reached for the cup. She took a sip, welcoming the strong and rich flavour. Now, it was her turn to attack.
"Obaasan..." she leaned back against her seat, still holding her cup in her hands.
"Hmmm?"
"This girl, Gaara married..." Temari blew the steam over her cup and took a second sip "Are you absolutely sure about her?"
Chiyo laughed loudly, nodding to herself approvingly. She reached over and briefly patted her hand as if to say, 'That's my girl.'
Temari didn't relax, her face still composed, revealing nothing.
"Sakura is not as blunt as you, but she's just as driven. She has no family protection, and she made it this far. I wish you wouldn't look down on her."
"I can't help but think he married beneath him."
'I can't help, but think I somehow failed him if we reached that point,' Temari added silently. Her lips pursued. She had smiled satisfied when Sakura had slammed the door on her. It showed guts. Temari respected guts. She simply respected family connections and nobility more.
"He did, I suppose," Chiyo replied and set her cup back on the table by her elbow. "If you're looking at social status, but otherwise... she's his equal."
Temari smiled thinly, bringing her tea cup back to her lips.
"Did Gaara call you about visiting you with his new bride? I was surprised he even remembered the tradition. It must be Sakura's doing, truth be told."
Temari froze and met her grandmother's unabashed stare.
"No," she said through gritted teeth.
Chiyo clicked her tongue in disapproval.
"They are coming to see us elders on Saturday."
"They should start with the elders, yes," Temari said icily and took sip of her tea.
Chiyo pointed at her.
"Bury the hatchet when he calls."
"Yes, obaasan."
Temari bit her lips, her heart squeezing in her chest. 'If he calls... If any of them calls...'
Exams and other things are coming up at work, so I don't feel confident enough to give a date for the next update... It should be around end of December, though. I would rather not disappoint any of you by giving an actual date on the off-change that I don't manage to deliver in time.
Thank you for your support in advance!
As always, all feedback is appreciated! :D
-O-
In other news, we have created a GaaSaku discord for the GaaSaku community. Let me know if you're interested in joining and I'll send you an invite. :D
-O-
In other other news, with this chapter, my total word count across all my work has exceeded 500k. I want to hold a little celebration during the holidays (beginning of January) to thank you all for your support and to commemorate this milestone. I've thought of a few options:
-I'll write holiday-themed drabbles/oneshots for whatever pairings/prompts you guys request;
-I'll write a holiday/winter collection inspired by my long list of writing tropes and AUs (I guess I could even make a poll and you guys vote it out?);
-or I'll do a combination of the above.
So, let me know if you guys are into active participation (throwing requests at me), or just into watching me do my thing. :) My ask box on tumblr (clem-chan) is open and allows anon asks if you are too shy to PM through here. ;)
See yah!