"It's hard to see how anyone else doesn't think like you…Not when anyone ever talks about this kinda shit…different perspectives combined with bad communication often leads to shit hitting the fan…"-Edith M. Brown Diary, 850
Spring 850
Open Plains, Beyond Wall Rose
The journey back to the Wall wasn't as eventful as the ride out much to the relief of many. The troops had stopped for a break not far from the Walls when they met up with the other body recollection squads.
Edith let her gaze wander over the people around her as they moved body after body into the carts. There were few wounded this time, most of the others were killed instead. She couldn't help but let her eyes rest on the pile where she knew the bodies of her squad lay. Why didn't I help them? What's the point of being a medic if you can't help people? If you can't keep them alive? Why didn't I do more? I didn't want a repeat of Maria! Anything but Maria!
Sinking into her thoughts, Edith picked off the drying flakes of blood on her hands as she tried to furiously blink away the tears in her eyes. In the wagon bed behind to her, Eren gave a quiet grunt as he scrunched his face up, clearly having a nightmare whilst Mikasa hovered over him. The boy was lucky that Mikasa had an unwavering belief in him, otherwise he would have likely ended up dead or worse.
After her battle with the Spriggan, they had regrouped with the rest of the troops not too long after and their injuries had been seen to. Her burnt feet had been re-bandaged with some burn cream that Piper had had on hand (she was lucky Piper was always so paranoid) and the scratches across her chest had been seen to as well, hidden behind the gauze.
She had been instructed to take it easy on the ride back, the fight with the Titans and then with the Spriggan had exhausted her more than she liked to admit, so here she sat at the end of the wagon bed with her bandaged feet tucked up underneath her, watching the proceedings play out before her like a muffled and burry show.
Out across the field Levi knelt next to a line of bodies that had yet to loaded into the wagons and parted the bloody sheet covering one of them to reveal the wings of freedom badge emblazoned on their chest. He didn't openly cry or mourn his fallen comrades, instead peeled the badge from Petra's jacket and clutched it in his trembling hands. How could he leave them alone? It's just like before, I left and they got killed. I shouldn't have left. He mourned.
Over to the left, Armin and Jean placed yet another body on the pile in one of the wagons. "This is the part of our job I'll never get used to" Jean commented wiping his hands on his pants as his gaze roved over the others around them.
"You're not alone in that" Armin spoke softly.
"Seems like death's just everywhere, all I can think about is how it will end. Which one of us is next and when will it be me?"
"Try not to obsess over it. Only thing that train of thought is good for, is breaking your nerve, believe me. Push it out of your mind"
"I suppose you're right. Nah, I know you're right"
Connie and Sasha stood next to their horses, tending to them as they rested for this short time. "So how much longer till our time is up, ya think?" Connie sulked staring at the ground, unable to look his comrade in the face.
"I-I dunno, we've made it this far" Sasha replied trying to keep upbeat.
"Yeah, luck of the draw"
"So what? We're alive, be glad for it"
"Sorry, it's kinda hard for me to celebrate around so many bodies…They'll never see home again, why should we?"
Edith found that it was only through sheer force of will that she was able to stay awake, her exhausted form lay crumpled against a barrel of gunpowder in the wagon bed.
The day's events had come crashing down on her not long before they had set off for the Walls and she had all but collapsed against Ryan who had come to see how she was doing.
Her head bobbed up and down as she fought to stay awake, despite knowing that she would feel better if she did & that she was no use to anyone like this. A deeply ingrained instinct told her she had to stay awake no matter what.
As it was, she was barely able to watch the next lot of events through tired eyes. Far off behind the ranks, a voice called out trying to get someone's attention. "WAIT! HEAD'S UP! WE'VE GOT COMPANY!" the faint voice called steadily coming closer, "TITANS!"
At the rear of the troops and just in front of the Titans a pair of Scouts garbed in their fallen comrades rode furiously, trying to rejoin the others before they were eaten. "Is that…?" Norfolk muttered standing up in the wagon as saw who was approaching and sent up a red signal flare "That damn fool"
"ENEMIES SPOTTED AT THE REAR!" the message made its way up the ranks.
"FULL SPEED, ALL SOLDIERS!" Erwin ordered.
"Our best chance might be to circle back and make a beeline for the trees. We can't put up much of a fight out here" Levi suggested.
"No, our best option now is to continue to the Wall"
"Tch" Levi fell back until he was in line with the body wagons. He was about to do one of the hardest things he had ever done.
"It's about to be right on top of us!" Armin exclaimed looking back to see the Abnormal quickly approaching one of the wagons filled with bodies.
"Looks like we've got no choice but to fight!" cried Jean.
"Ground's too flat to engage ODM gear and not only that we'll soon be outnumbered" Abnormals from off to the left were coming into view, quickly gaining on the remaining Scouts.
"Ugh! Perfect! Then what do you suggest we do, genius?"
"The only thing we can" Armin stared pointedly at the body wagons and Jean's eyes widen at the insinuation.
"It's gaining on us!" Norfolk cried with his blades drawn as he and Dunbourgh stood guard.
"I'll jump behind the bastard and distract him. Give you a chance to put some distance-" Dunbourgh started.
"Don't bother" Levi cut in, pulling up alongside the wagon "You've got to get rid of the extra weight, dump the bodies"
"B-but sir…!" Dunbourgh protested in surprise.
"Do you know how many corpses you've already left behind? These aren't special. Dump them. Consider it their last service to the cause"
"Are we doing this?" Norfolk cried, his usual calm composure gone out the window at the thought of letting his dead friends go "We can't seriously be doing this!"
Dunbourgh appeared conflicted over what to do. Should he fight the Titans and probably die? Or should he release his dead comrades and have a chance at living? He grit his teeth in thought as he stared up at the oncoming Titans. "I'm sorry! There's just no there way!" he cried before pulling the pin on the back wagon door and chucking the bodies out one at a time. "THAT'S IT! WE'RE LOSING 'EM!"
It was to the sickening thump of bodies hitting the ground that Edith let the darkness envelop her, slipping away into gentle sleep.
A young Eren readjusted the stack of kindling on his back as he and Mikasa meandered their way down the street."You should let the Scout Regiment thing go" Mikasa spoke up.
"Seriously?" Eren squeaked, "Why does everybody think they're a joke?"
"What people think about them isn't really the issue"
"Perfect timing! They're back! We can make it if we hurry! Get a move on! I want a good view!" Eren exclaimed excitedly grabbing onto Mikasa and dragging her down to the main path that ran the length of the district as the bells tolled.
Standing atop two wooden crates, Eren and Mikasa were just barely able to see over the heads of the adults that lined the path. His grin dropped as he watched the sad procession before him, instead of the enthusiastic soldiers that had left earlier that morning, they were all now garbed in their misery.
The mutterings of the crowd built up the soundtrack to the macabre parade. "Sure taken a hit, haven't they?" muttered one man.
"Yeah or got eaten. That's what happens when pride takes you outside the Walls" replied another.
"Nothing like seeing our hard-earned taxes going towards keeping those bastards fat and happy, right?"
Enveloped in anger, Eren bent to retrieve the stick from the ground, intent on showing those men what he thought. But what use could a ten year old do against fully grown men? "Eren? What is it?" Mikasa asked as the ten year old Eren morphed into his present self.
He clutched to the stick with a white-knuckled grip as he seethed, his anger roiling within him waiting to burst forth. "Talk to me" young Mikasa pleaded.
"Eren!" Mikasa called waking Eren from his dream; it took him a few moments to gain his bearings and figure out where he was. "Easy, try not to move just yet. You need rest" Mikasa whispered from his side as Eren slowly sat up, leaning against the front of the wagon.
"Where's the Female Titan? What happened?" Eren worried.
"…She got away from us"
"What do you mean? She…she was…we were…but what about the mission?"
"It didn't go as planned, but don't worry about that right now"
"How'd I get here? Did you have to step in and save me again, is that it?"
From his right a small grunt was heard as the wagon went over a pothole. Eren's attention was drawn to Edith who lay curled up by his side with her fist clenching tight to the cloak that lay over him like a blanket. Her legs were pulled up into her chest and her feet remained tucked away underneath cloak she wore and her head was tucked into her chest as if she were trying to hide away.
It seemed almost odd to compare this somewhat peaceful image of the small girl to the scary one in the forest who moved with calculating coldness and killed with deadly accuracy. Eren wasn't sure if that had been a dream or not. He almost hoped it was.
"What happened to her?" Eren queried.
"There was a group of mercenaries that came after us, we think they were paid to kill you. Edith stopped them"
"That was real?"
"…Look, we're almost home, okay?"
"…The casualties incurred during the Scout Regiment's latest excursion beyond the Wall were profound. So much so that what little public favour they still held, was all but crushed…Within hours of their return, Erwin and the battle-worn survivors were called to the Capital…The Scouts custody of Eren was summarily revoked"-Exterior Expeditions: Useful or Wasteful?, The Daily Herald