AN: Soooo... I made a poll for this story and if you want, you can check it out. I made it so I don't look like I'm begging for reviews (I mean, I probably am, but I'm trying to at least be subtle). Still plenty of time to vote, I'm not closing it until I actually get close to that part of the story, I just want to know how I should plan on continuing. Like I said, still a LOT of time.

The kitchen area was filling up with people, but they all seemed to be half asleep. Molly was cooking breakfast, so most of the people were half asleep and having their own personal conversations amongst coffee and orange juice. The kitchen smelled like sausages and "Good morning!" Tonks said cheerfully. She guided a cup of orange juice into Remus's hand. "Looks like both of you boys managed to get up on time today."

Remus could feel himself smile. It seemed very involuntary and he felt quite stupid standing there, only to have Sirius jab him painfully between the ribs. "Good- morning, Tonks, and how are you today?"

"Smooth, Sirius," Tonks replied. "I'm doing well, Remus, how are you?"

"I'm-" He gave a weird, nervous cough. "I'm doing well, actually. And how are you?"

"You... already asked me that, but thank you, I'm doing well." She seemed confused. Remus was mentally reprimanding himself as much as he could with frustration.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Right, does anyone want toast?"

"I'll take some!" A girl's high pitched voice asked. Several teenage boys also chimed in with the same request ion. Sirius was humming quietly to himself as he went off to make toast or do whatever it was he was doing.

"You okay?" Tonks asked.

"Mmhmm." Remus nodded. "I'm okay, yes. Are you woking today?"

"Unfortunately." She sighed. "As much as I love it there, I feel really useless sometimes. There seems to be a lot more to being an auror that what it's made out to be."

"You're not useless." Remus told her.

"Oh, hey Moony, do you mind sliding over a bit?" Sirius's butted in, almost painfully pushing past him.

"Oh, sorry." He said.

"I think mostly too I just don't want to get out in all that rain." Tonks sighed. "By the way, I was going to ask you about something. I know you mentioned a while back something about-"

"Excuse me, I'm walking through again. Need a knife." Sirius announced, a bit too loudly, trying to interrupt again.

Remus turned quickly, grabbing the drawer, and pulling out a butter knife with a sort of flourish. "Here. Take it."

Sirius was startled. "Oh... thanks."

"No problem." Remus said dryly. "I apparently mentioned something?"

"Mmm..." Tonks was thinking. "Yes! So I'm going to try and look for something so that you can learn to read. Like... a book? I dunno, I'm thinking maybe I could find something, like how kids have to learn how to read, but you know-" She was gesturing with her hand. "Sirius, I swear, what's your problem!"

"Nothing!" Sirius said defensively.

"Well stop being so annoying!" Tonks growled.

Remus didn't know what was going on, but he was a bit curious about it.

"I'm not being annoying." Sirius said plainly.

"Anyways," Tonks turned back to Remus. "What do you think?"

"I don't want you spending money on me." Remus shook his head nervously. He really didn't want her to do that. Tonks was always putting in so much time and energy for him and he had nothing to give her back. And to make it worse, what was she doing this out of? An unnervingly un-platonical-and-maybe-perhaps-romantic-feelings kindness? He wasn't even sure he had that to give to her.

Remus has to admit something to himself, and only to himself, within the confines of his mind that no one would would be able reach: Remus Lupin was completely and utterly in love with the idea that a living breathing person looked at him, and somewhere within their heart or the chemicals inside their brain or somewhere within the life-source of their soul or whatever it was that they mustered it up from with courage, felt an emotion comparable to love. He would not call it love, because that was insinuating that Tonks loved him, and he didn't want to say that she did because that was weird, and frankly a bit... gross. He tried to think up a word that he could use. Affectionate, but many people were affectionate to him. Remus could argue that Sirius was affectionate sometimes, if he ever wanted to or tried to be. Infatuation? That felt just about as immature and inappropriate as "love" did. Sentiment? Everyone was sentimental. Remus could even argue that sentimental wasn't even a positive emotion, under some circumstance ("see Snape"). Cherishing was almost a good word. She cherished him. But that almost sounded a bit more like he was some kind of token to her. Devotion? Lustful? Nope. No, no, no, no, no, no. He absolutely was not going down that rabbit hole.

Fondness. Fondness was a nice word to call it. Maybe it wasn't the best word to describe it, but it was appropriate and he liked he. She was fond of him, he was fond of her, and those were sensible statements. Not too much, not too little, fondness was a decent description of how he felt and how he thought she must feel back.

Now to the worst part, what if Sirius was wrong? What if he had already become so attached to the idea that Tonks felt some kind of fondness for him and he felt some kind attachment to the idea of having someone care about him, but what if she didn't feel that way?

"I know, but I don't mind." Tonks replied. "But you've got to learn eventually, haven't you? It's not like it's that much."

"Really, you don't have to do anything for me." Remus urged quietly, trying his best to shut down the entire situation. He liked that she gave him attention, but only in theory. In practice, he felt as if the entire kitchen had their eyes on him and he didn't want to be selfish and have her do so much for him. If he told her that they couldn't have anything other than their friendship, was she ever going to talk to him again? Would things be the same between them? Was he leading her on if they tried to stay friends? "You're being very kind and I appreciate it, but I don't need anything else."

"Don't be so modest." She chuckled. "What, have you got better things to do, like sulk ominously in front of the window curtains all day? 'Cause I'm sure we've already got Snape for that. Sirius said you used to love to read. Didn't you say that? That sounds absolutely too boring for me, I don't think I can sit that still for that long, but I think it's great if you're into that. "

"I don't think I've ever seen him go this long without his nose in a book, to be completely frank." Sirius's chimed in. "He actually got his prefect privileges suspended once because he was reading in the hallway while he was supposed to be doing rounds, and some kids got caught trying to shag in one of the bathrooms-"

"First of all, Sirius, you were one of those kids-"

"Hey, don't be giving any ideas!" One of the twins scolded from the end of the table. This was unnerving Remus. Currently, one of his biggest anxieties was finding out that people could hear and see him when he thought he was alone. This already started when he would sneak downstairs to eat and Harry, who seemed to have a serious case of insomnia, caught him twice, standing in complete darkness with a bowl of cereal in his hands.

"Wouldn't you like to have that back?"

"I- well, of course I would, but it would never be the same, would it?" Remus replied.

"That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to challenge yourself." Tonks was clearly frowning. "Or are you scared?"

"I'm not scared of anything." Remus quipped back.

"That sounds like something someone who was afraid of something would say." Tonks replied.

There were heavy and unusual footsteps entering the kitchen in a hurried manner.

"Nymphadora, are you finished socializing? We will be needing you to meet up with us in an hour!" Moody grumbled. "Do you have your disguise prepared?"

"I didn't... realize I was going on a mission today, I thought I was going to Ministry today. I haven't called in, or-"

"Unfortunately, Nymphadora, you've suddenly come down with an illness and I can validate the claim that you've already been to St. Mungo's and you're at home, resting." The deep voice that belonged to Kingsley said.

"Will you quit saying that!" Tonks shot back. She took a big sip from her drink. "Okay, okay, I'm going with you, I got it, let me finish my coffee first."

"Constant vigilance!" Mad-Eye barked at her. She was seemingly unfazed.

"Alright, Alright, I'll make up something. Let me run upstairs, and I'll get some clothes, five minutes-"

"Actually, Alastor, I was wondering if I could ask you a favour?" Molly Weasley interjected. "The kids found something upstairs. One of the bedrooms, there's a wardrobe and it's rattling like there's something inside. Could you take a look? I think it may be a boggart, but I don't want to open it and have it be some kind of banshee."

"Banshees don't hide in closets." Remus brought up.

"I'll check for you." May-Eye assured her. There was an indescribable noise that Remus could only think compare to the sound that saliva makes when someone is slowly opening their mouth as loudly as they can. Or if someone was tearing apart gelatinous substances with their fingers.

"Ugh," Tonks made a disgusted sound. "Really? You're going to do this? At breakfast?"

Sirius was completely disconnected from anything going on around him. "I made toast!"

"Excuse me, I might throw up." Remus said wearily. "What is that sound?"

"His eye." Tonks said. "It sounds worse than it looks, I promise."

Remus nodded furiously. "Mhm, where's the sink?"

"Here," Tonks grabbed his arm and swiftly lead him to the sink. He didn't throw up, but he felt extremely nauseous and disoriented.

"Do those... always make that noise?"

"Not since that bloody bastard took it from me and started using polyjuice it hasn't." Mad-Eye brought up. "Now the damn thing won't fit right. But Molly it looks as if you've got a boggart on your hands. I don't mind taking care of it for you."

"We'll get it before we leave." Tonks replied. There was a loud "pop" noise. "Really? Just take it out in the middle of the kitchen, I suppose. It's not gross or anything."

"I can help. With the boggart, I mean." Remus offered.

"Might I remind you that you don't have a wand, Lupin." Mad-Eye reminded him.

"Sirius, could I borrow your wand?"

"I don't know if you should-"

"I can handle a boggart, Sirius."

"I know, but it's not your wand. It's not the same." Sirius's argues. "What if it does more harm than good?"

"I think I'll be okay, really."

The boggart in the upstairs wardrobe was relentless. Mad-Eye took a turn with it. Molly Weasley tried, but she handled it terribly, supposedly cycling through her entire family and their dead bodies. Sirius took a go and had his Mum screeching at him. Tonks took a couple of turns and those were quite brutal on her. Then, Sirius handed Remus his wand.

"Riddikulus!"

Remus wasn't exactly sure if he was pointing Sirius's wand in the correct direction, but he thought so, based on a distinct crack he heard. In that moment, no one really knew what was about to happen.

There was an eternity long pause and no one said anything. Remus could hear footsteps shuffling.

"Hello?" Remus broke the silence. His wand faltered, but he never lowered it.

"Remus? Are you... okay?" Tonks asked. "Where's the boggart? Did it... disappear?"

"Hello?" Remus said a bit more impatiently. "Sirius? Tonks? Molly? Anyone?"

"We're right here, mate." Sirius's voice was weird when he was talking.

"This isn't funny." Remus informed them.

"Remus, we're right here. We haven't gone anywhere."

"Oh yeah, this is hilarious. Ha ha, what's going on? Where's the boggart? Why are you all so quiet?" Remus demanded.

"He can't hear us." Sirius said. He walked across the room and he firmly grabbed Remus by the shoulders. "Hey! We're right here!" Shouting wasn't working.

Remus jumped back about three feet after Sirius touched him. He crossed his arms, a frightened look on his face. "What was that? What just touched me? Was that the boggart?"

"Do you think he's deaf? Do you think that's his fear?" Tonks wondered. "Is the boggart invisible?"

"No, I think it's inside of him." Mad-Eye announced.

"Did you know that this would happen?" Tonks demanded.

"Hello?" Remus's voice was growing more and more desperate. "Did you all leave me here?"

"And what exactly do you mean that it's inside of him?"

"I can see it." Mad-Eye explained. "It's inside of his head. He can't hear because it's so small, it's getting to his brain."

"This can't be good." Sirius remarked.

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Sirius!"

"How do we get it out of him? Do you have any ideas? How do we fight it if we can't see it?"

"We should stun him." Mad-Eye announced, drawing his wand. "The boggart won't take to him if he's unconscious."

"Will someone PLEASE tell me what's going on! Hello! I know you can hear me!" Remus was getting louder and more persistent.

"Oh, Remus-" Tonks was becoming increasingly worried. "You'll hurt him!"

"The boggart will hurt him more, if we can't get it out." Sirius explained.

"We caught the boggart, let's take him to Mungo's. They'll dispose of it for us." Tonks was pleading with her superior.

"That will blow our cover, Nymphadora."

"We say we found him then!"

"EXCUSE ME!" Remus now looked completely terrified. "Please, will one of you help me? I'm really scared and I don't know where the boggart is."

"Please hang on, please just stay put." Tonks was begging him. He gave no indication that he heard her and she gave no indication that she was giving up on him. "If you're going to stun him, don't hurt him, please, and I'll catch him when he falls."

"You won't be able to, I will." Sirius said. "Do it. Just stun him before he goes completely insane."

"I-" Before Tonks could say anything else, Remus felt something hard and painfully hit him square in the chest. He knees gave out beneath him and he collapsed backward on his legs. Tonks gave a little scream.

There was a lot of fumbling around when Remus felt himself easing into consciousness.

"Hello?"

"Can you hear me? Oh my god-" Someone was holding him. Someone soft with long arms that wrapped around him. She smelled good.

"Yeah. I can hear you." Remus said bluntly. "Thanks for leaving me, by the way."

"We never left, mate." Sirius's voice informed him. "I touched you and you... you completely freaked out. "Did you go deaf when the boggart took to you?"

"No, I wasn't deaf. I could hear you, you were all just standing there, watching me!" Remus shot up straight with a frustration. "You didn't say anything or do anything! It tried to grab me and you didn't do anything! I think it knocked me out!"

"It made you feel completely alone, that's what it did." Remus concluded that it was Tonks who had been holding him. For a second, he wondered how long she had been cradling his lifeless body in the floor and that was strange. "We were talking to you the whole time."

"By the way, that was my hand that grabbed you." Sirius said. "And you screamed at me."

"No it wasn't."" Remus was very sure of himself. "That was not a human hand. It was... it was cold, it was like some kind of claw, it wasn't you."

"Yeah it was. The boggart got in your head and you couldn't hear us. I guess you were hallucinating too."

"Are you okay now?" Tonks asked. "Feeling any better?"

"What happened to the boggart?"

"We took care of it while you were unconscious."

"Did I faint? It felt like something pushed me."

"We has to stun you to get the boggart to leave you alone."

"Oh, gee, thanks a lot for that." Remus said dryly. "I'm okay now, I think."

"Be careful, please." He heard Tonks say softly as she helped him stand up. "I've got you, don't worry. I've got you."