There was the nightmare again. Except this time, there were no bandages on his face to block in his eyes.

He didn't exactly scream per-say, but he did let out a loud shriek before he start crying. Not loud and sobbing, but there were tears coming out of his burning eyes as he was hunched over in bed. His face was... wet, and that was far from a good sign. It was wet and he didn't know what with.

Why? Why did any of this have to happen? Remus flung the heavy bedsheets off of his body and floundered about with one hand on his face until he reached the door. His stomach lurched. What the hell was he supposed to do, start yelling until someone paid attention to him and woke up? Go knocking on random bedrooms until he found Molly Weasley or someone else with enough knowledge on medical care and then apologize his way back down the hall to everyone else he had bothered? The pain wasn't even that bad, but his heart was racing and likely, it was the adrenaline rush from his nightmare that was holding back his pain.

Remus was much louder than he expected when he came out of his room. He could hear the rustling of Buckbeak and the restless clomping of his hooves on the wooden floor. There were nervous creaks coming from deep within the floorboards, awoken by less than a footstep. He would've walked slower, but he felt this may have been an appropriate moment to trample down the steps into the kitchen. He slipped and nearly fell all the way down on the next to last step.

"Remus? Remus, what's going on?" A man's voice asked. It suddenly occurred to him that the kitchen was occupied. The light was on and he could hear a faint crackling from the kitchen's fireplace.

He was still crying, so Remus put his head down and covered his face, maneuvering around the chairs. "I'm alright, I just think I need the medical supplies. I um- I think I cut my eye-"

"You cut it? With what?" He asked. Arthur violently got out of his chair and climbed around the other seats to the other side of the kitchen for the medical supplies.

"My fingernails... I woke up and... and..."

"Here, son, let me get a look at you." Arthur sighed. Remus carefully let his hands down so that he could get a proper look at his eyes. "Which eye? Or both?"

"My left one." Remus took a long, shaky breath. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry to panic like this, I just felt-"

"Your eye looks irritated and I'm sure it must have hurt like hell when you scratched it, but you aren't bleeding anywhere as far as I can see." Arthur told him."I would wash up though if I was you. You wouldn't want to get an infection anyways. Maybe just rinse you face off and scrub you hands. Can you make it by yourself to the sink?"

"I can do it myself." Remus assured him, embarrassed as he hobbled over to the sink to splash water on his face. It was cold and he knew it would wake him up, but it was soothing the irritation and washing away the flood of tears on his face. "Who's here?" He asked over the running water.

"Oh, just me." Arthur said. "I got in rather late. Can't sleep. Just sitting and having a think about things."

"What time is it?"

"Close to three. Come, why don't you sit down? Calm your nerves a bit so you aren't restless."

Remus returned to the kitchen table with slow, heavy bare feet on the cold checkered tile. There was a fear that was less nagging, but more jumping up and down in the back of his mind that he might get his toe snagged in a splinter or old piece of drywall. "If I'm allowed to ask, what were you doing out late? I'm assuming you were at the Ministry...?"

"Ah yes, well you see, the Ministry never sleeps." Arthur sounded like he was smiling. "It's not so unusual to have someone like me wandering around the department outside of office hours. We all have our pet projects we work on, so it's not like we're loitering around. At least I look as if I have reason to be there... the poor aurors risk getting shipped out to patrol somewhere if they stay to spy on the Ministry overnight, and what good is that?"

"Right." Remus nodded. "How are things going in your department?"

"The department itself is fine, but I think we all know where it's headed." Arthur told him. He seemed unusually tense. "I think... we're eventually going to lose funding. And of course, not enough people are going to want to keep the department around with how many people are viewing muggleborns in particular. Or how many important people, at least."

"How long do you think you have until you're out of a job?"

"Oh, I'm not too concerned at the moment. It will have to take at least a few months to get request to defund us and even then, they'll have to campaign for it."

"Have you spoken with your son? The one at the Ministry?"

"Percy? Unfortunately I have, but he's not had a nice thing to say. I hope you'll refrain from telling Molly that. She's quite worried about the boy, and reasonably of course, just as I am, but he needs space and time, and that's that." Arthur said. He took an unusually long pause. "Percy knows what's best for him, and whether or not I agree should not matter. He needs to grow up and learn things on his own. He's entitled to his opinions, but I simply cannot shake the feeling that he was a mole for the Ministry."

"It's too much of a risk." Remus said. "We thought Peter was just... timid. We thought he was afraid of combat. We never doubted his loyalty because we thought he must be too afraid of switching sides." He took a deep breath. "Not that I think Percy would-"

"No, of course not." Arthur said in quick agreement. "But he's young. Full of ideas. Unpredictable. Powerful in the wrong hands."

Remus folded his hands in his lap. "Arthur, do you think that he could be safer that way? Safer away from the Order?"

"I think... that he is taking the safer road. For now at least." Arthur remarked. "I don't necessarily think it's the right one. And I think one day it's going to prove to have consequences that he may be unable to face. I think that one can only remain neutral for so long before they must choose a side, and unfortunately those sides may mean life or death. And frankly, I would like to see all of my children alive."

"I dislike this war more than the last one." Remus said. "Perhaps it's because I'm old now, but I'm afraid that this is a war being fought by children now. I suppose that's how it's always been, I was just one of the children last time."

"Speaking of aurors getting shipped out, I'm aware of how valuable their efforts are, to go out and spy for us, but they always come back looking worse and worse off." Arthur sighed. "Perhaps we won't have as many casualties with this new generation. I'd like to believe in that much. Perhaps, and as much as I don't want to admit it, it will be us older ones who take the hit."

"You wouldn't want to lose your children, like you said." Remus said. "Not that I know anything about having my own children, but I knew so many students who are now old enough... people like Fred and George, and Harry, and Ron... they're old enough to know what's going on around them. I don't think we can deny it to them either."

"Don't let Molly hear you on that one." Arthur chuckled. "But yes, to some degree, I think they deserve the decency of acknowledging what's going on around them."

"Did you get any news at the Ministry?"

"Possibly. It might be worth nothing the Yaxley's been on the clock more, yet it seems he's been frequenting work less. I'm beginning to think maybe it's more than him cheating the system."

Remus felt that there was no better time than now to ask his question. It had been burning inside of him for weeks. He could never quite bring himself to ask it, though he always proposed similar questions. He would offer to help with chores, which was often enough for that hour or day or week at most. Perhaps the Order was getting more use out of their clean dishes than they put on (Remus prided himself on the fact that due to his meticulous and almost neurotic behaviour, he was the most efficient at cleaning most surfaces, even if he looked like the most determined house elf that ever lived while he worked). He would ask if he could carry food to the table or make tea. He asked if he could water the plants ("no, Sirius, I am not looking for an excuse to be in Nymphadora's room, her Oudregons have to be watered daily while she's gone or else they start sweating poisonous gas, and I don't think you really want that, do you?"). He would even ask to do small things, like get flowers for the table, even if no one wanted to look at them because they never seemed to help with the post-meeting tension. Remus would refill the salt and the pepper shakers, or the sugar or flour tins. Remus was good at finding small tasks that often were big enough to be noticed, but small enough that no one would bother using magic on.

"When can I start doing Order missions?" Remus eagerly wondered.

And for a moment, he thought Arthur laughed.

"I- Remus, I... I'm not sure there's much we can have you do right now. We wouldn't be able to do much with you, in terms of training you for combat. And with all due respect, the Ministry would be no better. Without your wand, there's no way we could help you get and hold down a job, never mind with your condition." Arthur explained.

"Right, but... surely... surely there's something I can be doing." Remus pressed. "Everyone's talking about me healing and recovering, but I want to be useful again. I know I haven't lost my magic, but it's not like I'm using it anywhere near enough to keep it maintained and-"

"Remus, you're perfectly fine where you're at." Arthur said calmly. "You're working on your reading, correct? I've heard Tonks helping you with that."

"Yes, but there's more that I could be doing, if only the Order could help me-" Arthur didn't interrupt him, but Remus could feel that the air was so thick and heavy around him that the tension was bearing down on him.

"It's getting quite late." Arthur said quietly, pleasantly and normally. "I'm glad your eye is alright. Does it still sting any?"

"It's okay." Remus nodded, touching his face. "Thank you for looking at it. Really, you and Molly both have been wonderfully kind to me."

"It's our pleasure, Remus." The other man seemed to yawn. "I hope you're not so wired up that you can't fall asleep."

"I'll be alright." Remus said. Part of him believed that, being that he already had his nightmare, that if he fell asleep he would likely not remember any more dreams until he awoke. Part of him didn't.

"Well," Arthur abruptly stood up. "Good night then, Lupin."