"Sister Grey used to say 'It is only when we break do we find our sharpest edge…only when we look with an open mind, do we find what we've been searching for'…My memories may come in bits and pieces, but those words have always stuck with me…you can kinda see why"-Edith M. Brown Diary, 850
Spring 850
Titan Forest, Wall Maria
What are they talking about? Edith wondered, her gaze drifting from the red and green smoke flares signalling the Scout's approach over to where Reiner and Bertolt stood conferring with each other on what to do in low voices.
"What are you two doing now? I thought we were waiting 'til dark" Eren demanded when Reiner flitted down the branches to land between Eren and Ymir.
"There's been a slight change of plans, I'm gonna ask you nicely not to put up a fight" Reiner stalked forward towards Eren with a hand on his blade.
"Huh…Easy there's no need for us to get all violent! Not like I can resist like this" Eren bluffed, "…I mean take a look at me. Just…calm down, okay?"
"Hm"
Reiner nodded as Eren backed off, seemingly releasing his usual stubborn determination and hero complex. That was until he raced forth and hit the blonde in the face with a right hook, knocking him to the ground where he began to pound upon him. "Die! Die! Die you evil-!"
Reiner was able to hook a foot underneath Eren's chest and launched him away, sending him sailing backwards towards the trunk of the tree he was on. Reiner wasted no time and jumped Eren's back, holding the struggling boy in a chokehold until he passed out.
Once deemed unconscious, Reiner unceremoniously dropped Eren's body to the branch at his feet where the boy landed with a thud and groan. Next he turned to Edith who had watched the entire scene play out with a furious scowl written upon her face and her limbs tied together.
"And now you" Reiner stated pulling her up by the collar of her shirt until she was eye level with him.
"I'd liked to see you try" Edith spat, sending a wad of spit straight into his eye. Reiner's face twisted into one of disgust, wiping away the wad of spit as Bertolt moved up behind the girl with one of his blades in hand. Edith met darkness with a blow to the back of her head and knew no more.
Edith hung limply in Reiner's hands after Bertolt had hit her over the head with the hilt of his blade and the two quickly set to work setting her up for either the Titans or the Scouts to find. Whoever came first. What little ODM wire they could spare was used to hoist the small girl up in the air where she hung from a branch at the opening of the forest; swinging back and forth in the gentle breeze like a dead spider.
"There, let's go"
"…The origins of the Order of Ymir are unknown…though some suspect it was originally a smaller branch of the Eldian Restorationists, but this is not confirmed…The origin of the split between the Faeries and the Spriggans is also unknown…"-Order of Ymir, Anonymous
Pain ricocheted through Edith's body as she swung gently in the canopy, the breeze rocking her small frame to and fro. Her head throbbed from Bertolt's heavy blow to the back of her skull and her stumpy shoulder still burned slightly as the unknown red glow beneath her skin slowly stitched the wounds back together. Much like a Titan shifter but without the steam or instantaneous regeneration.
That's not to say that was the only reason she felt like she was in hell. Oh no. The physical pain coupled with the onslaught of old childhood memories brought everything to a whole new level and even enveloped in the darkness as she was; she still couldn't escape it.
Couldn't escape these old childhood memories, once thought lost and forgotten, ones that had begun to resurface once more. It would later be clear from their contents as to why she had surpassed them as a child in the first place. But then again wouldn't you?
It's all coming back to me now…I've come so far, done so much and still wound up as their little shiny toy; broken and forgotten at the bottom of the toy chest.
Winter 836
The Pit
"…Well, these ones look promising" A young Edith cracked her eyes open as she blinked blearily at the pair of women before her. The murky water in her tank bubbled and flowed around her, making it hard for her to fully see the women before her.
She recognised one of them as Sister Hound, one of the nuns who regularly visited her and her siblings down here in the Pit. She would usually refill their oxygen tanks and the strange red substance that was pumped into their tanks.
Sometimes she would talk to them, mostly when they were alone; Edith liked the stories about the outside where you could go wherever you wanted and play with whomever you chose.
Sister Hound also said that the red stuff they gave them was supposed to make them grow big and strong, but only the strongest of them could endure it. That was why several of her sisters had died already.
The other woman before her was older and hunched over a knobbly wooden cane, her own frame dressed in the familiar robes of the Sisters. The only difference between the two of them was the colouring of their skirts; where Sister Hound's was a mossy green, the other Sister's was a deep blue.
"What about this one?" The elderly woman leered at Edith, pressing as close to the glass as she dared so as to observe the young sleepy child encased in the large tank.
"Her? That's 3D174" Sister Hound proudly replied, puffing her chest out slightly as she spoke, "She's doing quite well; took the latest dosage without much fuss and seems to be holding out so far"
"Any side effects?"
"Not thus far"
"Any signs of shutdown?"
"No ma'am"
"Good, have her prepped for harvest"
"Ma'am?"
"It's time to start the real trials, isn't that right little Herald?"
That was the first time I told myself I was free, that I could do whatever I wanted, that I didn't ever have to go back to that dark place again. But…
Winter 836
Church of Faeries, Order of Ymir
"…Attention! Attention!" Sister Hound clapped her hands, garnering the attention from all the girls sandwiched into the small room. The newly dubbed 'Edith' stood off to the side with the elder Sister from the Pit gripping tight to her shoulders, holding her in place and knocking away her small hand each time she tried to rub her itchy bandages.
The new clothes she wore were large and itchy on her tiny frame and she found herself constantly trying to readjust the green skirt as she moved, much to the Sister's irritation. Atop the long skirt she also wore a neatly pressed blouse that covered her bandages plus the new brand (still weeping blood) and everything was topped off with a small brown vest. All in all she looked like a child playing dress-up.
"We have a new Faery joining us today. Class, this is Edith" Sister Hound chirped, gesturing to the small red head in the doorway. "Say hello, Edith"
"H-hello" Edith squeaked, her high-pitched voice rather raspy from so little use.
"Hello Edith" The class eerily chorused together, some looked rather bored and others looked at her like she was prey.
"I leave her in your capable hands then, Sister Hound" farewelled the woman behind Edith.
"Thank you, Sister Oak. May the Goddess bless you" Sister Hound nodded to her.
"And to you" Edith jumped at the sudden slam of the door behind her.
"Come along Edith, you can sit next to Nona" Sister Hound gestured, gently pushing the young girl in the direction of a tween blonde at the end of the first row who smiled brightly at her when she stumbled forward.
"Hi Edith, I'm Nona! It's nice to meet you!" Chirped the happy blonde.
"A-ah you too" Edith stammered, shaking the blonde's hand.
To be fair it wasn't as bad as it seemed. My food was warm and solid, I no longer ingested (too many) strange substances or slept in a filthy tank.
Church of Faeries, Order of Ymir
836-840
The following years were filled with lessons in everything you could ever dream of and teachers that came in all shapes & sizes. There was Sister Grey who taught home economics, a skinny woman who looked like she would break in half like a toothpick.
And Sister Sage who taught them health and sciences; she was a plump woman who you would almost always see snacking on something. Then there was Sister Feather who taught languages and art; explaining through fluid reed-like movements how best to use their lessons in the real world.
And finally Sister Hound taught (deadly) combat training; a lesson that was slowly becoming Edith's favourite along with their alchemy lessons from Sister Sage.
And through it all? Nona, the little blonde novice she had met on her first day, had become like a sister-a real sister-to her; one that was often glued to her hip. For one rarely saw the blonde without the redhead tight as they were.
Best of all? I knew what it meant to feel needed, really needed. For the first time in my life I actually meant something to someone else. That by far, was more precious to me than anything I could have ever hoped for.
The Great Hall, Church of Faeries
Summer 840
Behind Edith, Sister Oak addressed the congregation. "It is this Novice Edith that inherits the blood of her Holy body, the Goddess Ymir. So long as she graces us with her presence, we shall be blessed" Sister Oak stood upon the altar steps at the front of the Great Hall, arms open wide to the Novices and Sisters alike.
Edith knelt before the statue of the Goddess Ymir with her forehead and hands touching the floor in front of her as she recited her ritual prayers. The long flowing robes coloured blood red swaddled her small frame as she prayed against the cold hard floor.
"…To the glorious East we have the Herald Maria…" The elder brunette to her left stood from her prayers to turn and face the congregation, a crown resembling goat horns sat atop her head. "…And her Blade Thorn…" A tall brunette joined Herald Maria at her side; garbed in a similar dress of pearly white.
"…To the wondrous West we have the Herald Rose…" A blonde adult stood tall to her right with her head held high and back straight. "…And her Blade Claw…" They too, wore the red robes of the Herald and the white robes of the Blade respectively.
"…And to the heavenly North we have the Herald Sina…" This time Edith rose and turned to face the congregation with her own Blade at her side. "…And her Blade Scar" Edith shared a small smile when Nona, garbed in white robes, she joined her side.
Edith ducked her head so that the goat crown could be placed on her head before stepping forth. Her bare feet slapped against the cold ground until she reached Sister Oak who had set up a large table between her and the congregation. Atop it sat a large tome filled to the brim with names written in red and to the right sat a bronze goblet and pitcher filled with an ill-looking substance.
With all eyes on her, Edith took in a breath before she began her part of the ritual. "Being sound of mind and willing of heart, I Novice Edith, blessed vessel of Ymir and child of Faeries call forth the Goddess Ymir to bless thine vessel with strength and power. I will uphold the values and customs of the Church and above all else the mighty Goddess who smiles down upon us.
Blessed be thy name! I am yours, now and forever!…" Picking up the athame, she ran it across her palm, drawing up a neat line of blood which she tipped onto the open page before her. "…With this blade I offer my blood…"
Next she picked up the old quill from the middle of the book and using her own blood as ink, wrote her name on the next spare line on the page. "…With this quill I offer my mortal name. No more am I Novice Edith, under your guidance I rise as your blessed vessel, Herald Sina! All hail the Goddess Ymir!"
Cheers rose in the congregation as the full goblet was passed from Herald to Blade, each taking a drink of the foul substance before passing it on. And yet as her blood dripped to the floor, Edith couldn't wipe the grin off of her face no matter how hard she tried.
Then one day…
Winter 840
Goddess Ymir Shrine, Shiganshina
"Sister where are we going?" Edith asked, allowing herself to be dragged along by the elder girl through the twisting halls of the shrine. Nona's once kind face screwed up in disgust for a moment before it smoothed out into a perfect mask of happiness.
"Come on Sister! It's not a surprise if I tell you!" Nona forced a laugh as she forged on towards the courtyard.
"…Are you sure it's okay for us to be here, Sister?"
"Are you scared? I thought Heralds weren't supposed to feel fear" A tinge of bitterness leaked into the blonde's tone.
"I'm not!" Edith squawked as she stumbled a little, trying to keep up to her friend, "I just wanna know where we're going!"
"You'll see…"
And indeed she did. The room Nona had taken them to was the courtyard of the Goddess Ymir's shrine. It was an old one, one that was barely standing as it was with vines and other plant life crawling through every nook & cranny. The moss-covered statue of their deity stood tall in front of them and upon the altar? A single goblet filled with sweet smelling drink.
I was cruelly reminded that everything I clung to was a lie. One lie, one sweet little lie. Oh Goddess! I was so naive! So gullible! But then again, what ten year old wasn't?
"What is this, sister?" Edith turned to Nona, whose mask was slowly starting to crack the closer she came to her goal.
"It's a tradition; all the Heralds do it. You have to take communion in front of the altar with only your Blade by your side" Nona lied.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Are you gonna break tradition just 'cause you're scared? Maybe the Council was wrong, maybe you're not a worthy Herald"
"No! I am! Gimme that!" Snatching the full goblet from Nona, she tipped it back as she gulped down the sickly sweet liquid inside.
"That's it, evey single drop!" Nona cooed, her eyes gleamed wickedly.
Slamming the goblet none-too-gently back on the altar, Edith turned to Nona with a grin. "Ha! See! Whose worthy now, sister?"
"Who indeed" Nona crowed as the ten year old before her began to sway in place.
"Whoa! What's going on?" Edith stared at her hands as she blinked rapidly against the dots dancing around her vision.
"Did you really think I would follow you?" Nona's tone suddenly turned dark, "You? A child? How foolish could you be?" Her laughter sent chills up Edith's spine as she began to lose any feeling in her limbs.
That's when I realised: I'd had it coming all along. I'd been deceived by the ones I held most dear. The sister I once cherished with all my heart, the family I had called my own…
Eventually, Edith's body locked up and fell forward into Nona's waiting arms before she was heaved up and placed upon the now clear altar, at the statue's feet. "I have waited years-years!-to be proclaimed a Herald! I devoted myself! Sacrificed myself to the Church! And what do I get? I get to play second-fiddle to a child!"
Nona pulled out a syringe filled with a dark concentrated substance that Edith recognised as the poison they had been working on during their lessons with Sister Grey. Unable to do anything but watch, Edith remained frozen as Nona raised the syringe above her head, "…But no longer!" And slammed the syringe into her neck, pushing the poison into her veins where it burned like hellfire.
But what else did I expect? That's what comes through looking at the world through murky waters.
"Can you feel the poison, little Herald? Can you feel it coursing through your veins? Burning you inside and out?" Nona taunted, leering down at the young child who remained unwillingly frozen in place.
"With you gone, I can finally take my rightful place as Herald! And the world will be free of another wretched brat!" Nona laughed, her eyes wicked with glee. "You'll join your precious Mother soon, Sina. You're gonna die here, little Herald and no one will ever know! No one but me!"
With muscles locked tight, the only evidence of Edith's pain was the river of tears trailing from her eyes and pattering onto the altar below.
And then I met you…and I looked into the eyes of true freedom. The first thing I thought? Was if there was such a thing as fate, then she was a bitchy little cunt…
Nona had left not too long ago to deal with the band of Spriggans encroaching on the Faery lands. There was a reason this shrine was desolate-there had been many disputes between the two Churches over this one plot of land and this one was no different.
Except maybe Nona intended for her death to look like a message from the Spriggans? The death of a young Herald? That would certainly put the cat amongst the pigeons; a call to war for sure.
Edith assumed it was Nona returning to finish her off when she heard the returning crunch of footsteps on wintry gravel nearing her resting place. Instead it was another Sister. This one was older by several years, at least thirty years old and had been exiled from the Church some months prior for inappropriate behaviour.
Edith had only ever seen her in passing.
And I thanked her for bringing you to me that night.
And finally on one wintry night in the 840th year, both Sister and Herald vanished into the night.