Chapter 19: Thoughtfulness
Kira pulled her jacket a bit tighter around her as she sat on the bench while watching what leaves that were still on the trees in the backyard fall to the ground. She'd taken a walk on the paths that always felt so serene when the garden was at its peak. With it approaching the first week of December, however, nearly everything that Kira loved most about the garden was dead or appeared so. Sure, there were plenty of thriving plants scattered around the garden to make walking through it enjoyable but it just wasn't the same as when there were flowers of every hue in full bloom.
Ben had insisted that she do her best to keep her strength up between the treatments since the doctor suggested that in doing so that she would have a better chance at beating the cancer. With the exception of when she was so exhausted right after going in for a treatment the doctor encouraged her to do as much as she could from before the return of the cancer. In addition to her walks through the garden she had even managed to go to class a couple of times in the last two weeks. Granted, she had been so exhausted when she returned home afterwards but she had felt almost normal during those hours of sitting in class for her lectures.
Then there were the other outings that she went on about once a week at Ben's insistence. Just as he had when she had fought against the cancer the first time. He'd been adamant that she needed to seek support from others who were like her. Others who were fighting cancer as well. Kira hated going to the group therapy sessions and usually she would just sit back and listen rather than actually sharing for herself. She really didn't see the point in sitting around and giving a voice to her concerns about the cancer and its return. It wasn't like talking about it would make it go away. And talking about it was exactly what she didn't want to do.
Despite not really wanting to go to the counseling sessions there was one whom she felt connected with. Like her, he had been in remission for the last couple of years only for the cancer to return. But that wasn't where the similarities had ended. During previous sessions Kira learned that he had been in the foster care system and, like her, had been removed from various homes before he'd finally been adopted. There had been something in the telling that told her that he'd seen much of the same kinds of things in the system as she had.
The thing was, despite sharing much of his younger years he rarely spoke about the here and now. There was something that he was hiding. Something that he felt ashamed of. She was sure of it. Truth be told, until he'd left town a week ago, he was the only reason other than Ben that she went to the meetings when she was able to attend. It certainly wasn't so she could talk about the cancer that she was terribly afraid of that was coursing through her system. Still, other than going to school and Jebb's fairly frequent visits, going to listen to the others in group therapy was among few things that she had to break up her day.
Fortunately, when Jebb came for his visits he didn't make her talk about her illness. She had the feeling that it made him nervous. He was probably glad that she didn't bring it up when he was around. It was the proverbial elephant in the room. Both were painfully aware of the fact that Kira was fighting against cancer but neither actually mentioned it. Instead, when he was able to make his way up to Atlanta he'd distract her with various bits of gossip that he'd heard while hanging around with the other racers from the Motocross circuit. Something that she could look forward to him doing at the end of the week. They'd made plans for him to come back to see her on Saturday.
Kira looked down at her watch and noticed the time just as she had to sneeze. A sign that after a week she still hadn't been able to shake the terrible cold that she'd been fighting since before Jebb's last visit. Feeling the breeze cut right through her, Kira decided that she'd best head back inside.
Jebb climbed off of his bike and walked up the now familiar walkway as he had for the last few months during his free time at every chance that he had. He liked getting to know Kira as he had since he'd tracked her down; he just wished that he could have done so under different circumstances. Now that she couldn't brood in a quiet corner of whatever bar they were at after a race he was able to really talk to her without interruption from other racers or patrons of the bar. She seemed to have an opinion about everything and Jebb enjoyed hearing every single one.
He was certain that he'd learned more about Kira in the last few months than he had in two years of racing with her. He had been amazed at the fact that she was preparing to go to law school. Living in a farming community, he couldn't think of anyone that he'd ever known who had actually gone away to college. Everything he needed to know he learned right there on the family farm; from when to plant which crops to which animals needed what type of care. Everything that he'd learned from his father, mother, aunts and uncles he had done so a little at a time as he had grown up surrounded by everything that he loved the most; well outside of racing that is. He had hated being cooped up in a classroom during his younger years and hadn't been able to wait to graduate. He couldn't imagine voluntarily going to college and sit for even more hours and years while listening to boring teachers drone on and on about one subject or another.
Kira, it seemed, didn't share his opinion of school work; the days that she hadn't felt up to going through her assignments were the ones that he felt she was more ill-tempered than usual. The work actually had a calming effect on her. There were times that he'd shown up for a visit and he could tell that she actually hated having to stop what she was doing simply because he'd come to visit her. After the first few times, however, Jebb realized that it didn't have anything to do with the fact that she didn't want him there. Rather she wished that she could continue her work while she enjoyed his visit at the same time. Unfortunately, she didn't multitask very well these days. She could only do one or the other, not both.
Of course the last time that Jebb had seen her she hadn't really been able to do either. She had caught a cold which had distracted her a great bit as he discussed his plans to see his extended family over the Thanksgiving Day holiday. In the end Jebb had left out earlier than he'd planned since he could tell that the cold had Kira feeling more under the weather than she usually did despite the fact that it had been nearly three weeks since her last treatment at the hospital.
He hoped that he'd find her in better spirits since he wanted to know if she wanted to join him and some of the other racers for a little bit of holiday fun for a night next week. He knew she couldn't do much more than just sit at a table and drink a tea or some other nonalcoholic beverage but he figured even that would be a nice change of pace for her. On his last visit he had convinced her to go to a movie and while she'd fallen asleep during the middle of it Jebb knew that she'd enjoyed her night out. She had just pushed herself too much that day. He figured that he could promise that they'd leave when she got tired but a change of scenery could do nothing but good and help lift her spirits a bit.
When Jebb rang the bell to signal that he was at the manor he waited for James to open the door for him. He was quick to give the man a smile and tell him that he was back to see Kira for their visit. He expected the man to step aside and tell him that he'd go and tell her just like he always had after that first time that he'd shown up at the door. Today, however, he didn't.
"I'm afraid that Miss Kira isn't home."
Jebb eyed the butler with curiosity. If Kira wasn't home then where was she?
Kira sat in her room and watched as the nurses all performed their tasked while wearing their masks, gloves and protective gowns that they wore so that they wouldn't make her sicker than she already was from simply getting the common cold. In only the course of eight days her sniffles and sore throat had turned into bronchitis and now she had full blown pneumonia; a side effect from her lowered immune system thanks to the battle with cancer as well as the treatments for it.
Kira waited as a nurse hooked up a bag of antibiotics to her IV before she was left alone once more in the depressing room. She'd had enough of hospitals to last her a lifetime. She swore that if she beat the cancer this time she'd never allow herself to be put into the position to be stuck in bed ever again; even if that meant that she'd have to sleep standing up.
After reaching to her nightstand, Kira grabbed up a book that she was supposed to read for class. Normally she could have had the whole book read in only a day or two. As it was, she'd been trying to read it for a week and she wasn't even halfway through it. After trying to read for about twenty minutes, Kira tossed the book back onto her nightstand. The words seemed so disconnected that it was too frustrating to try to read any longer.
After leaning back against her pillows with nothing else to do, Kira was surprised to hear her phone ring. She supposed that Ben was calling to check on her even though he'd come to see her earlier in the day. She hadn't expected to hear Jebb on the other end of the line, however. It was only after she heard his voice that she remembered that it was Saturday and they'd made plans for him to visit with her at the house.
"Jebb, I'm sorry I didn't call and tell you not to come to town this weekend."
"Don't worry about it. I stopped by the hospital but they said you couldn't have visitors who weren't family. Are you alright?"
Jebb knew that the question was stupid since of course she wasn't alright. If she was she wouldn't have been admitted into the hospital. Still, he was unsure of what else to say.
"I'm fine, I suppose. Just tired of being cooped up in here. Again." Kira knew that she was pouting but dang it, she had the right to pout. "Just as soon as the doctor comes in you'd better believe the first thing that I'm going to ask is when I can get out of here."
Jebb could practically hear Kira scowl through the phone. As a result, he had to fight back a chuckle since he knew that his amusement wouldn't likely go over well with the woman. "Just remember that it'd probably be best to do whatever the doc says; even if you do have to stay put for a few more days."
"Don't remind me," Kira groaned.
"Well, I know that the hospital won't let me come see you, but is there anything that you want? You know, to help pass the time?"
"I-" Before she answer Jebb she felt herself gag. "I think I'm going to be sick!"
Kira quickly jumped up from her bed and ran as quickly as she could on wobbly legs toward the bathroom. On the other end of the phone Jebb waited for several moments before he heard what he assumed to be a nurse walk in and ask Kira if she was alright before someone hung the phone up. Meanwhile, Kira was faced with the obvious fact that she wouldn't be leaving the hospital just yet. And she hated hospitals.
A few days later Kira was sitting in her hospital room while waiting for word from the doctor on whether or not he'd allow her to leave finally so she could go home. While waiting, a hospital worker brought in a small package and left it with her before leaving. Kira ripped open the card and saw that it was from Jebb. Inspired by her practical side, he had sent her a new knit scarf and hat to help keep her warm. Smiling, she tried on the hat that she figured that Jebb had gotten his mother to make for him without knowing just who he intended to give it to. It fit perfectly and she enjoyed the feel of the soft yarn as she ran her fingers over the matching scarf. Briefly, Kira wondered how Jebb had gotten his mother to make it but it didn't really matter.
Later that day, she wore the hat and scarf home. In the cool December evening, with Christmas just a couple of weeks away, they kept her warm. Once home, Kira did try to call Jebb to thank him for her gift but when (whom she assumed to be) his father answered instead, she claimed to have called the wrong number. The fact that Jebb kept surprising her with his thoughtfulness was unnerving enough as it was. She didn't want to add his parents into the mix. What if she liked them? Or worse, what if she hated them? Knowing that Jebb would likely call her in a day or two and arrange another visit, Kira decided that she'd just thank him then.
Once she did get a chance to talk to Jebb, she finally had some good news to share with him, too. While at the hospital, along with being treated for her flu and pneumonia, the doctors ran some tests on her blood and had declared that she was once more in remission. She was cancer-free. That meant that she'd once more be out on the racing circuit, if not by the beginning of the season, she planned to be so shortly afterwards. And they had a personal bet to settle. And yes, she still planned to lose.