Chapter 25: Devastated
Kira flipped through her mail and smiled when she saw that she had a letter from Jebb.
She remembered when she had woken up while she was on spring break in his arms and was surprised (and perhaps a little amused) when she realized why he had a swollen jaw that morning. That was probably when she finally allowed herself to admit that she had fallen for him. How could she not? Still, Kira wondered what story Jebb had told the others when they caught up to them at the racetrack. She would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Blake and Charlie had pulled Jebb aside after seeing his swollen and bruised jaw. As usual, Jebb had no problem with taking the lead in nearly all of the races that he participated in. He had just been glad that Kira hadn't gotten him in the eye instead of the jaw.
The rest of the week went by far too quickly. Before either of them were ready, it was time for Kira to return to school and for Jebb to get back to the farm. There was far too much that needed to be attended to back home with it being springtime. Jebb was just lucky that his father shared his love of racing and helped him get away to enjoy a bit of speed whenever possible. From listening to Jebb's stories, Kira had begun to get a sense of just how much like his father he must be. After promising that she'd see him the next time she went to Atlanta to see Ben, she'd reluctantly said goodbye to Jebb.
Ripping the letter open, Kira read it through and rolled her eyes as she read some of the slick words that Jebb had written in an effort to sweet talk her. Not that she didn't memorize every word of it. As Kira was reading the letter, she was pulled out of her thoughts by the jarring ringing of the telephone. After picking it up, Kira's mood changed dramatically when she realized that it was Ben's Law Partner, Tom, and just why he was calling her. Dropping the phone, Kira couldn't believe her ears. Ben'd had a heart attack early this morning. The first person that she'd ever fully trusted was dead.
Kira thought back to the last time that she had called him. She had been having a hard time with some of her classes and had begun to doubt herself and her ability to actually follow through with being able to finish her law degree. He had assured her that he had complete faith in her and she had clung to that faith. Ben had been the first person to ever look at her as if she was worth more than common street trash and now he was gone.
On the other end of the line, Kira could still hear Tom speaking but she didn't really listen. After picking up the receiver she mumbled that she would be flying down to Atlanta as soon as she could get a flight and hung up the phone. She then just stared at it as if it was a viper that had just lashed out and bit her. Spinning out of her chair at her desk, Kira grabbed her purse and ran out of the door before the wretched thing could ring again.
Hours later and several states away, Kira sat in the solarium with her knees drawn up to her chest as she stared out toward Ben's prize rose garden. This had been one of her favorite places to sit when she returned to the house to visit with Ben. It was here that she truly felt as if she'd had a home in the last couple of years. Now that he was dead, Kira couldn't help but feel that the only home that she'd ever known was about to be taken away from her, too. For that she felt incredibly guilty. Here Ben was dead and she was thinking about how his passing would affect her.
So lost in her own thoughts, Kira never realized when she was no longer left alone in the room. Jebb had been called by Tom's wife, Michelle, after they'd found his number in Ben's rolodex. Michelle had wanted to make sure that someone was there for Kira during the time of mourning. After all, the rest of Ben's family hadn't ever really cared for his attachment for the orphan whom he'd adopted in his waning years so it was doubtful that she'd find much support with them.
Jebb stood in the doorway and watched for several moments as he waited for some sign of emotion from Kira. He knew that she cared for Ben greatly but she wasn't one to burst into tears. Instead what he saw was a completely withdrawn shadow of the woman that he'd last seen in Charlotte. Walking over to sit beside her, Jebb slipped an arm around her and brought one hand up to block her reaction before she realized that it him. As soon as she did, the tenseness that had coursed through her body slipped away and left her to rest against him instead. She didn't crumble into a pile of tears like he'd seen his sisters or even mother do on occasion; nor did she cry out at the unfairness of it. Instead, she just simply sat still against him and waited for someone to tell her that there had been a mistake.
Following Ben's death, Jebb did his best to console Kira. He'd told his parents that he needed to be there for his racing buddy through a death in the family and his parents had been more than understanding. They had become used to him spending most of his free time during the summer with his friend Kyle. Jebb just never corrected their assumptions that Kyle was a guy. Partly out of survival since he knew that his mother would have him down at the church before he was finished telling her about Kira if she knew.
When Shawn and Elizabeth insisted that Kira had no place within the family, since she was not a relative by blood, Jebb had asked her to spend some time out in Placid with him (his mother be damned; he'd deal with her later if he had to) but Kira had refused. Instead Michelle insisted that she stay with her and Tom. So at least Kira had had a place to stay after Ben's children had essentially thrown her out on the street. The following days went by in a blur; both due to the grief and because she had been locked out of the whole funeral planning process as well. If it hadn't been for Tom and Michelle, Kira would have likely never even been notified with the time and place of the funeral.
Jebb wanted to punch Shawn out when he'd heard the man accusing Kira of taking advantage of a senile old man in his waning years. The fact that Ben had decided to adopt her after only a couple of visits with her was one thing that Shawn planned to use as proof that his father had not been completely of sound mind when he'd set up his will. Shawn saw Kira as a money-grubbing street walker and if he had anything to do with it, she'd not see another dime of the estate after Ben's death.
Kira had beaten Jebb to the punch, literally, and had knocked Shawn flat on his back. Jebb had then had the unfortunate task of pulling Kira off of her adoptive brother; effectively saving him from her anger at his words. Shawn had been quick to file charges against Kira and had even been able to pull some strings to keep her from being arraigned until after the weekend so Jebb hadn't been able to actually post bail until after Kira had spent three nights behind bars. Fortunately, the judge ended up throwing out the case when it went to court. Unfortunately, by that time, she had missed Ben's funeral and any sense of closure that she could have gotten from attending.
From there, Kira stayed on the defensive throughout the whole process that led up to the reading of the will. She'd been surprised to find that she was named as the prominent beneficiary. That was, of course, only if she continued in her pursuit of her law degree. If she did, Kira would receive a full third of the estate that Ben left behind. Another third had been set aside for various charities and the final third was to be divided up between Shawn and Elizabeth together.
Ben's children had been furious. Litigation to supersede the will had begun the very next day after that. Tom had helped Kira fight for her rights in regards to the will. He had been named the executor of the will and he'd been Ben's best friend. He knew how much his friend had cared for the young woman. Kira didn't really want or care about the money at all; but she wasn't about to just sit back and roll over for Shawn and his sister. Not after the things that they'd said to her during the time following Ben's death.
In that time, Jebb became quite worried for Kira since she never would fully express just how she'd felt about Ben's death. To him, that hadn't felt healthy. Instead, she had focused on her anger at her two adoptive siblings and their hatred of her. The fight over the will had lasted the whole summer of that year. Kira had dropped out of the remaining races and had slowly begun to withdraw from Jebb as well as anyone else that knew her. By the time that Kira had left out for classes in the fall, Jebb wondered if he should have tried harder to get her to talk more about Ben over the summer.
After that, Jebb noticed that whenever he'd send her a letter it would sometimes take weeks to get a response back from her (if he got one at all) and he ended up giving up on trying to talk to her over the phone at all. When Kira's classes were out on break for the holidays he had been disappointed to learn that she didn't plan to return to Atlanta so soon. Nor did Kira seem too anxious to have Jebb ride up north to see her. In essence, she had cut herself completely off from him.
Kira felt guilty that she had not gone back home during the last break that Ben had been alive back during the spring. Instead she had gone off to spend the week with Jebb at a bike rally rather than spending what time Ben had left before he'd died with him. It had never crossed her mind that Ben wouldn't be there the next time that she would have time to go to Atlanta. Jebb had no way of knowing that Kira had associated her guilt over that absence with him. He only knew that she was pushing him away during a time that she needed him the most and he couldn't do anything about it. Eventually, the letters from Kira had stopped altogether.
Shortly after Christmas, Jebb decided that he'd have to go see Kira in Massachusetts since she had refused to return to Georgia. While riding in his father's truck through the streets of college town where he knew he'd find Kira's apartment, he had a strange sense of déjà vu. It seemed like a lifetime ago since he'd gone in search of her that first time and found her in Atlanta. When Jebb spotted Kira's green truck in the parking lot of a small and aging apartment building he couldn't help but smile. He knew that it would only be a few moments before he'd see Kira again after many months of being apart.
When Jebb got inside he saw a note on the elevators stating that they were not working so he headed up the stairs until he reached the floor that Kira's apartment was on. Finding her door, Jebb knocked expecting the door to be opened only to be left standing in the hallway without Kira answering her door. He knew that her truck was out in the parking lot and with the amount of snow on the ground he seriously doubted that she was out for a ride on her motorcycle. What he couldn't understand was why she wasn't answering her door.
Listening intently, Jebb swore that he heard movement just behind the door. She had to be home. So why didn't she answer her door?
"Kira," Jebb called out to her while trying to coax her to the door. "Open the door. It's me, Jebb."
Instead of Kira's door, the one across the hall from her apartment opened up. "You a friend of hers?"
Jebb turned around just a bit surprised. "You could say that. I wanted to come check on her since she didn't go home for the holidays."
"Good luck getting her to open the door. She stopped hanging out with the rest of us months ago. Ever since she got back from Georgia. Care to tell me what happened?"
Jebb eyed the door before looking back to Kira's neighbor. Was he the one that he'd read about in her letters? If he was, at least Jebb knew that he was the only person that Kira had been shutting out. It was strange how that made him feel just a bit better. A part of him wanted to tell the stranger to mind his own business. After all, if he told him what he obviously didn't know then that would give him a chance to be there for Kira when he couldn't be. A bigger part of him knew that Kira needed someone, even though she hasn't admitted it yet, and if it couldn't be him then there needed to be another.
"There was a death in the family just before the summer started. She took it pretty hard." As if accepting the explanation, the neighbor returned to his own apartment and left Jebb alone in the hall way. He turned back to the door before calling out once more. "Kira, come on. Open the door."
After several moments of getting no response he told Kira through the door which hotel he had gotten a room at and asked for her to call him there if she changed her mind about talking. After all, he'd hate to think that he'd driven all the way from Georgia for nothing.
Jebb spent the next three days alternating between trying to get Kira to answer her door and waiting for her to call him at the hotel. Finally, he had to pack up and go back home. Jebb took the hint and decided to give her some space while hoping that she'd return to Georgia on her own.
When the racing season began, Kira was still absent from the corner of Georgia that Jebb was in; something that had taken the fun out of racing for Jebb for a while. He went to every single race that he could in the area but he never saw any evidence that Kira had shown; either to race or to spectate. She'd just dropped completely out of his life.
By the end of the season, Jebb reluctantly acknowledged that he likely wouldn't hear from Kira again. She was on the run. Trying to out race the pain of losing the first person who had ever cared for her; the first person for whom she herself had ever allowed into her own heart. Just as reluctantly, Jebb began to date other girls again despite the fact that his heart just wasn't in it.