AN: It's been a bit, hasn't it? So I'm not abandoning this story yet. I've had this draft for a while but this whole quarantine thing happened and all that... I finally got around to finishing it! At this moment, I don't have the next chapter started on. Sorry, like I said, I literally JUST finished this chapter and it's been... four months. Happy one year though, guys.

So how did all that work out, huh?" Tonks scoffed. Even her heavy boot steps were angry. Remus could hear the anger bubbling in her throat.

The mission wasn't quite a failure, but it was certainly at Remus's expense.

Remus wasn't quite as familiar with the woods as he had been with his eyes open. There were markers, apperation points, clear signs for anyone who might be familiar with the area. He was at first taken aback by how the woods smelled so distinctly of evergreens, how quiet it was except for the small woodland animals. It would almost be serene if he wasn't completely focusing his attention on not being killed.

"I s'pose it's best we don't trade names, eh? You workin' for the Order and all. I'm just the courier." The man's raspy voice said. "But I've 'eard of you. I 'eard of what happened. I'm real sorry, mate."

"Right." Remus agreed.

They were walking for a very long time in complete silence. Voices. There was a crowd of people, werewolves, and they were getting louder. "Oi!" The man growled. The voices were uncomfortably close to Remus's body. He was holding on tightly to his wand inside of his coat pocket. There was a weird awkwardness hanging in the air. "Where's Greyback?"

There were awkward mumbles.

"Remus Lupin," Chills shot down Remus's spine before he even recognized the voice. "Why are you here?"

"Greyback?" There was a knot in his throat. He tried to straighten up towards the voice, but he had no idea where he was.

"What? You didn't learn the first time?" There was a hint of playfulness in Greyback's voice. He was stepping closer. "What brought you crawling back?"

"The Order kicked me out." Remus lies fluently. "They um... they took one look at me and didn't want me there. I'm... useless to them."

"Are you now?" Greyback replied. His breath was hot on Remus's face. "So where have you been?"

"Wandering." Remus shrugged. "Recovering."

"I see." Greyback replied. "And how's that going for you?"

"Fine." There was a weird airy sensation on his face and the light shifted. Greyback was waving his hand in front of Remus's face.

Greyback laughed hoarsly. "I'm impressed, Lupin. You managed to crawl away alive, didn't you? I'm almost tempted to keep you just for that. Even without your eyes..."

Remus nodded stiffly. "They erm... they were nice enough to keep me around while I was healing, but after that, I was thrown out. I guess I thought... I dunno, I thought I might still be of use to them. I wasn't."

Greyback took a deep breath. "I think you're lying."

"What?" Remus almost faltered. It took everything he had to hold it together. "No. I stayed with them very briefly, I was not a member. Look, I don't exactly have anywhere else to go right now and—"

"You smell like..." Greyback paused. "I can't pinpoint it."

"The house was abandoned, there was no one there." Remus pleaded.

"I believe you." Greyback replied.

Remus expected repercussions but that didn't make Greyback's fist hurt any less.

"Dora-"

"Don't. Stop. Just stop it. I don't want to hear you talk right now." She snapped. The front door swung open violently and Remus sheepishly followed behind her. "You weren't ready. You shouldn't have gone."

They didn't have a lot of furniture. There was a sofa and a single armchair, which Sirius was going to be camping out on. The kitchen table only had three mismatched chairs. Both of the bedrooms were empty and void of anything personal. Remus vividly remembered what the house looked like after his parents had died and he imagined it must've been more decrepit. All of his childhood memories had been boxed up in the attic. All of his mother's nice things had been boxed up as well. When his parents died, anything that wasn't extremely meaningful with value were sold to pay off the bills and keep food on the table.

"Back so soon?" Sirius's voice pipped up. "Damn, your face looks like shit..."

"Can you grab the dittany? I don't know where it is." Tonks huffed, her voice on the edge of tears. Her bag went flying against the floor. She pried off her shoes with frustration.

"I don't think we have any!" Sirius got to his feet and trailed off into the kitchen. "Is it really bad?"

"No, I think I'm okay." Remus covered his face insecurely. "I just... fell over my own feet."

"I could go find some alcohol to wash it off with. Think that'll help?" Sirius sounded like his head was in a cabinet.

"Yeah." Was all Tonks mustered up to say.

"It's fine." Remus protested. He felt a hand grab his arm tightly. Tonks was violently working off his coat and she tossed it aside.

"You're going to sit down and I'm going to fix your face." She threatened, dragging him into the kitchen and sitting him in a chair. Remus had to brace himself for her to start wiping away the blood and dirt from his face. He didn't say anything as she patched up his wound.

"What are we going to report back to the Order?" Remus asked warily. "They're going to think I'm a failure. They're going to think I'm not worth the trouble to send out again."

"Don't think you're so special." Tonks huffed.

"Dora, I'm sorry-"

"No you're not." She replied. "If you were sorry, you wouldn't have let them talk you into going on a mission like that! You're not ready for this."

"I'm perfectly ready!"

"You're perfectly stubborn, that's what you are!" Tonks exclaimed. She was ripping surgical tape with her teeth.

The room became thick with awkward silence. "Thank you."

"For?" She spat.

"Saving me." Remus murmured. "Patching me back up together anyways."

"I love you." Her voice broke off. Her fingers caressed the side of his face, examine the blossoming bruises. "You're a complete idiot, but I love you."

"I know." Remus nodded. Her cold lips pressed against his temple. "I'm so scared of losing you, Dora. You can't follow me next time."

"I don't care about that."

"Are you even listening to me?"

Her finger jabbed him hard in the chest. "How about you listen to me for once? You were absolutely out of line today!"

"I know how it looks, but-"

"It's like you wanted to get yourself killed." She growled. "God, you are such a masochist. Or maybe you're just an asshole, I don't know. But you're not going back out anytime soon. You need to leave it to the aurors."

"I know." He said quietly in an attempt to appease her. "I need to work on things first."

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all of those things. You know that you're not useless. You're not... you're not incapable of working for the Order, but you're pushing yourself too fast."

"You're fine, Dora." Remus shook his head. She leaned down and her hair brushed against his face as she kissed him. She didn't pull away for a minute or so, her hand clinging to the side of his face.

"I love you." She whispered shakily, tightly gripping the front of his shirt. "And don't you ever try and do that again, do you hear me?"

Remus didn't say anything at first. "I... I feel like I owe you something. An apology, specifically. You went to incredible lengths to save me today."

"You don't owe me anything, Remus." Her voice sounded bewildered. "This isn't some kind of bartering system—"

"Dora, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have have followed me, but I shouldn't have put you in trouble." He whispered.

"It's just that... I think that... I'm sorry and I'm worried I messed things up again." His face felt like it was burning with embarrassment.

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"I know that we've... things have been rather hard lately and we haven't gotten to spend any time alone together and..." He shook his head. "I'm sorry. I can't process all of this. I really do miss you. I just... I can't vocalize it."

Tonks scoffed. "Really? You're doing this? You're going to say you don't want anything to do with me because you don't want to hurt me and then you're going to kiss me and fuck everything right, good and proper, and then you're going to ignore for the rest of the month! Cut it out! Just kiss me like you want to and you can save me my time!"

"I'm sorry." Remus said quietly. "I'm having nightmares. I can't stop seeing... things. I'm seeing you get hurt, I'm reliving everything that happened."

"I'm sorry." Tonks said plainly.

"I just... I have to know that you're safe. But it's killing me. I can't sit still, I can't think straight. I get scared every night that I'll have to watch you get hurt over and over. And Sirius too! I'm sorry if it's hard for me to tell you how I feel but it's hard to feel like this relationship is justifiable when every moment, I'm being reminded of why it isn't. It's not safe for you to be close to me."

"I don't care about the safety, Remus—"

"But I care, Dora! I care because I know they'll hunt you down the second they smell you on me! Wherever I go, I'm worried that Fenrir's going to be on you just as fast."

Her lips pressed against his before he could get out another word. "I. Don't. Care. Stop it. I can handle myself in a fight fine. I'm an adult who can make their own decisions and I'm tired of you I continuing to push me away."

"You don't know what kinds of things they would do to you—"

"You think I don't? You think that my entire life hasn't been preparing me for whatever consequences I'm going to face as an auror?" Tonks said. "Please just tell me what you're thinking. Just tell me the truth."

Remus's mouth hung open as he searched for the right words. "I love you, but I shouldn't and it's killing me to know how much danger I'm putting you in."

"You really love me?" Tonks sighed. "Then... can you please at least try and see that maybe love is worth pushing the bounds of safety and risking that? You know that I'm perfectly capable of sticking up for the both of us. It's worth it. Why can't you trust me?"

"Because what if I put all my trust in you and it's not enough?"

"So you don't trust me." Her face was inching closer to him.

"I trust you completely, Dora." Remus shook his head. "I'm just worried he's the overpowered one, not that you're weak."

"Then perhaps can you show me?" Tonks whispered back. He carefully cradled the sides of her face and began kissing her. She was growing increasingly more anxious and more breathless. He ran his fingers through her hair. Her hair was long today and soft in his hand, and she still smelled like the woods. Remus was relieved that her anger had washed away and been replaced with worry, though worry wasn't much better in the grand scheme of things. She really did have the patience of a saint when she needed to. She carefully tilted her chin up, exposing her neck to him. "Remus, do we need to take this into the other room?"

His breath clung to her neck. "Do you want to?"

"Do you want to?"

Remus pursed his lips tightly. "If you... think that we should." She helped him to his feet, tightly wrapping one arm around his waist.

"Hey, Sirius?" Tonks said as they walked through the living room.

"Yeah? What's up?" He replied from the couch.

"Remus and I are going to go get cleaned up before dinner. We're kind of dirty." Tonks informed him.

"Alright. I'll still be here." Sirius replied.

They didn't have any sheets on the bed yet, just blankets laid out. Remus was clumsy at undressing her, layer by layer, and she helped him out of his jumper and then his trousers. Things felt like they were moving too quickly but Remus didn't want them to stop. He had to figure out how to use her audio cues to predict what she wanted, how she wanted to be touched, how hard she wanted to be kissed. He couldn't quite tell how much of it she was doing just to arouse him or to help guide him, but she seemed to be perfectly satisfied by the end of it. Tonks carefully guided his hands to all the places where she wanted them, not letting the shame stop her. It was easier for her to be on top for most of it. Remus was starting to get a clearer picture of what her body looked like now, perhaps in a way he wasn't expecting. He found he quite liked the feeling of her, naked, between his fingers. She felt... beautiful, somehow. He couldn't imagine anyone else being in her place. They knew to be reasonably quiet so to not alert Sirius but every now and again one of them slipped up and let out a moan that was surely much to loud to be inconspicuous.

By the time they were both finished, Tonks had procured a blanket to cover them. She had melted in his arms, curled up with her head against his chest. "Your parents really had a nice house. It's a shame it didn't get taken care of." She said quietly. He could feel her heart still racing in her chest.

"I wish if we were moving in together, it wasn't like this." Remus sighed. There was something darkly comical to him about making love to the woman he so cherished for the first time in his parents' old bed, in their old bedroom, in a house that haunted him with so many bad memories. Love wasn't something he was meant to deserve. He was meant to be a loner, a pariah. He was, by his father's own standards, unlovable. And yet here they were, still intertwined in each other's arms, still naked, still basking in the time they had together. He wanted nothing more than to just soak in this moment with her.

"When have we ever done anything on our own terms?" Tonks replied. "Besides... now, of course." She let out a little giggle.

Remus gently kissed the top of her head, running his fingers through her hair. "What colour?"

Her shoulders shrugged with defeat. "I'm really tired."

"Brown?" Her head bobbed up and down. "That's my fault, isn't it?"

She shrugged again. "Remus, I found out that they're setting up aurors on patrol in Hogsmeade."

"Are they sending you?"

"Possibly. Maybe, I don't know yet. And I don't know how long this is going to go on for. They said it'll only last a few weeks, but something tells me it's going to be much longer."

"I see." Remus nodded.

"Let's talk about something else, yeah?" Tonks persuaded. "So... how was it? Better than you expected?"

"Much better." He laughed. "I'm sure we need to actually go shower now like we said."

She sat up to kiss him, pulling the blanket over her chest. "Hmm."

"Did you enjoy it at least?" Remus asked.

Tonks let out a laugh. "I thought you would've been able to figure that one out on your own!" She carefully climbed off the bed. "Come on. Shower time."

Remus pulled her in for one more kiss. "I really do love you, Dora."

"Yeah, yeah, you're only saying that 'cause I gave you a good time." She teased, wiggling her nose. "Come on, you still smell like werewolves and dirt."

xxxxx

Sirius clasped his hands together. "I've taken the liberty of moving myself into the smaller bedroom, if you two don't mind. When did Arthur say he would send the extra bed?" He interjected. He didn't seem to pay much mind to both of them coming out with wet hair.

"Sometime next weekend, hopefully." Tonks sighed. "Sorry we're making you crash on the couch."

"At least it gives you a week of plausible deniability. 'No, officer, I promise we had no idea that wanted fugitive Sirius Black was living in my house'."

"Nah, course not, it's just us and our scraggly old mutt." Tonks teased.

"Does it feel odd, Remus? Being back here?" Sirius asked.

Remus thought about his question. "Not... really. It honestly doesn't feel like much of anything."

Tonks was finally taking in the mess that was the kitchen. "It just needs some touching up, yeah? Clean the counters, plug in the lamps, get rid of all of the cobwebs..."

"I feel like we just finished cleaning Grimmauld." Sirius grumbled. "I'm getting sick of doxies."

"I don't think we've got any doxies." Tonks said. "Maybe a boggart or two that we can clear out."

"I need to take Remus grocery shopping tomorrow." Tonks sighed. There was some digging in the pantry. "As of now, it looks like we've got... old box of rice, some canned peas... and I'm not sure what this is, but I'll give five galleons to whoever eats it. Does takeout sound good?"

"I'm game." Sirius remarked. Remus nodded in agreement.

She clasped her hands together. "Perfect. Do you two want to start wiping down the counters? I feel like everything's covered in dust. Oh, and the sheets! We need some sheets for our room." Tonks had already hurried out of the room to do something, gently nudging Remus as she walked by.

"Yeah." Sirius said in a low voice. Even standing right beside Remus, it was like he was a thousand miles away. "You know, I wish Harry was here."

"I do too." Remus agreed. "I wish... I wish Dumbledore was more transparent with us about this. I wish he would at least give us an excuse as to why he had to go back."

"I don't understand why he has to go live with his aunt and uncle." Sirius demanded.

Remus sighed. "You know Dumbledore wouldn't have done something without thinking it through."

Sirius snapped. "They're abusive! Just spit it out! They're abusive to him. What was it that I said to him? Something like 'they'll be worried about you, they'll wonder where you are, deep down they do care about you-' it's all bullshit! What do you think he'll think later on in life? He might actually start thinking that the people that made him sleep in a closet actually cared about and loved him! Or he'll think that I'm the bad person for making him to back to them."

"You need to calm down." Tonks's soft voice reappeared. "Sirius, look at me, we don't have any control over this. We can't change Dumbledore's mind."

"He doesn't deserve that. He's a child-"

"I know." She cooed. "This isn't going to last forever. He's going to come visit at the end of the summer, okay? We're going to get to see him."

"He's completely by himself..." Sirius grumbled. "He's absolutely isolated. I can't even begin to wonder what he thinks. He probably thinks we abandoned him. That I-"

"Shh, can you cool it for a second? Everything so going to be alright." Tonks reassured. "This isn't going to last forever. We're going to get through this summer... and then we're going to go about our normal live. And this whole mess is going to be over one day and we're going to be just like a normal family. Just like you said, yeah?"

"Yeah." Sirius took a deep breath. "But I—"

"Stop. Sirius, right now, do you hear me?" Tonks squeezed them both tightly. Remus heard her kiss him on the cheek, then get her cool lips press against the bruise that was sitting on his own. "We're gonna get through this. One way or the other. You hear me?"

"Yeah." Sirius coughed.

"Perfect! Who wants to start on the dusting?"