a/n: hey y'all! i'm backkk! i know there was a bit of a delay with updating this chapter bc a)i had been on vacation and b)school just started again so i'm pretty busy rn.BUT i'm here now and i hope this chapter was worth the wait!

i think, by this point, is where it's starting to get good (at least in my opinion lol). from here on out, there's gonna be new content since this is technically the last chapter of the "rewritten" chapters and before this chapter it was mostly the obligatory filler stuff that was the wedding, cal/rose getting back together, etc. but now i really hope you guys start to get invested in this story bc angst and drama are comin' your way folks and there's nothing you can do to stop me :P

i hope you all enjoy and reviews are always welcome ! xxx

Cal didn't know how many hours he had sat in the comforting darkness of his study, how many shots of brandy he'd had... Images swirled around him in a carnival of chaotic confusion, the cathartic events of the day repeating themselves in his mind over and over and over again in a sickening parade… Rose's pale face, the dirty blood on her hands, her nightgown stained a deathly crimson, the tears scarring her hollowed, wailing cheeks…

His head was pounding.

The child was gone.

Cal chuckled to himself morbidly, relishing in the revelation that would change everything by the time dawn broke and Rose was out of medication to douse her in sleep…

Things had become so frightfully simple. The filth was out of the picture. It had been easy. Almost too easy…

For a moment, Cal wondered if that was what he truly wanted.

Deep down, a part of him knew that there wasn't a future with Rose beyond stony stares and petulant arguments. She was nothing but a ghost,evaporating from him when she wasn't needed to decorate his arm.

Pouring himself another shot glass of his poison, Cal couldn't help but to feel nostalgic...

He could still feel that cold, December night when he had held her in his arms, the sweat of their lovemaking still slick in his brow… He remembered how she had shivered with delight when he had touched her delicate, smooth skin, moaned with pleasure when he pressed his lips on hers…

Knocking back the drink, he pondered with gnarled joy as the liquor burned down his throat if Dawson had been able to please her like a real man…

A laugh escaped him and it rang like a bitter bell through the hollowness of the house. He had been a damn fool to think she would've ever been his.

She would never belong to anyone except that gutter rat...

No matter how hard he tried she would always be out of his reach, her heart a guarded, wandering thing that would never find its home with him…

He snapped his eyes shut, his head suddenly throbbing; on the verge of a sickening migraine.

He felt like he was going to vomit.

Standing from his desk, he stepped outside to the balcony. The night sky was clear, the moonlight cascading its shadows across the sprawling gardens before him, the aroma of the summer flowers wafting through the warm breeze made the bile rise in his throat.

His thoughts drifted back to his wife, sleeping on the other side of the mansion, her head filled with catastrophic dreams.

Cal had always blocked out her screams in the night; her terrified sobs. He pretended not to notice how she rarely spoke to him, her voice stolen from her by her nightmares, her eyes red and puffy from the tears she cried when she was alone, away from his sinister stare. He tried as hard as he could to ignore her, to brush off her fears as childish. But there was always a desperation in her eyes that he couldn't unsee. At night, he would lie awake, drowning in her helplessness, his head swimming with his own frenzy to escape the monsters clawing at the back of his throat.

No, this wasn't what he wanted. This isn't what he had wanted at all.

xXx

Nathaniel Hockley didn't smile. Not without reason.

With anxiety gnawing in his stomach, Cal was none too eager figure out why his father had such a smug grin on his face now.

"My boy! How are you?" Nathan greeted, standing from behind his desk to clap his son on the back.

Cal offered his own half-hearted smile, finding that he couldn't share in his father's suspiciously good mood. He hoped he couldn't feel him flinch beneath his suit jacket.

"I can't complain…"

"And that pretty, little wife of yours, how's her condition coming along?"

Cal's eyebrows shot up as he took a seat. There was a twinkle in the eye of the man in front of him he couldn't quite place. He could feel his nerves beginning to unravel.

"I wasn't aware that I told you about th-"

"It's a business man's job to know everything, Caledon…" Nathan interrupted, shaking his head at his son as he took a sip of his cognac, "I have my sources…"

Ruth. Of course.

Cal scoffed, hopefully masking the fear that was burning in his eyes. His heart pounded furiously against his ribcage as he pondered what his father would do to him now that he held the fateful knowledge that his beloved Rose was carrying a bastard.

Or, at least, had been.

"But I must admit, she didn't look too well the other evening at dinner…" the elder continued, "Looks like she had lost some weight if you ask me…"

You have no idea… Cal thought to himself sadistically, an uncomfortable chuckle fumbling through his lips as he tried to remember to breathe.

"Well, father, it's nothing to worry about… It seems the situation is no longer a problem, to put it lightly."

He smiled triumphantly. Or at least attempted to.

Silently, his chest ached for some sort of approval. Some sort of validation that for once in his life he was more than a disappointment in his father's cold, steely gaze for doing something right for a change…

But with just a simple nod, Nathan's smile vanished as soon as it had appeared. And a familiar shiver made its way down Cal's spine as an icy glare was expertly tossed in his direction.

He watched as his father stood, the smoke of his freshly-lit cigar trailing behind him in a pungent cloud as he crossed to the window, a disdained frown abundant amongst the bitter lines of his face.

"Are you aware that the 'Heart of the Ocean' is missing?" Nathan said into the stillness of the room, his voice frighteningly calm.

Cal froze, his knuckles deathly pale as he gripped the sides of his chair as he tried to resist running away, trying to catch his breath as he felt himself gasping for air, drowning in the failure that he was.

"Yes, I am…" he finally sputtered out, cursing himself for the way his voice was shaking.

Nathan scoffed, the dispassionate sound shaking Cal to his core.

"And I suppose you're the one responsible for this tragic loss?"

"Father, I-"

"Shut up," he snapped, facing his son again with a disgusted snarl on his face, "Just answer the question, dammit!"

Cal's mind reeled. His father was right. Of course he was. Naturally, he had kept the diamond safe, obsessed over it, even… Only to lose it again in a moment of impulsive rage.

But he would never let him know that...

"Well, yes, it is partially my fault, I suppose…"

A thunderous laugh exploded around Cal. The storm roaring outside could scarcely compare.

"Partially? Do you realize that necklace had cost me millions?" Nathan guffawed, trying to control his bubbling amusement, "And for what? A wife that despises you!"

Standing, Cal tried to brush off the stab his ego had just received. Smiling weakly he joined his father at the window, staring out at the rain that was pounding against the pane rather violently.

For second a brambled thought prickled its way into his mind: he could easily smash his head against the glass, disposing of him within seconds as he had fantasized of doing all years.

One inconvenience had been cleared for him as of late. It wouldn't hurt to get rid of another.

And after all, his father was well-past his glory days. His once good looks were weathered away by years of bitterness and the doctor had already advised that he retire for his "health".

In this world of glittering diamonds and vicious grins it was survival of the fittest. And it was long overdue for the new king to take the throne.

"I put you with the responsibility to recover the necklace, Caledon," Nathan continued, snapping his son out of his wasteful daydream, "The only way you shall receive proper insurance for the thing is to prove it is intact…"

"Father, it's on the bottom of the Atlantic!"

"-And that's only a minor setback!"

Anger simmered in Cal, his fingers vibrating with an ache to strangle the man in front of him. Maybe he would finally see that he was more than a disappointment when he was begging for his life.

The thought alone brought a gnarled grin to his face.

But it quickly vanished when he saw the malicious sneer his father was giving him.

Helplessness sank into his bones, his shoulders heavy. If the diamond had truly perished along with the ship there was no hope of finding it.

Massaging his temples he tried to think of any possibility that the priceless gem was still intact… Perhaps it had survived the sinking… He knew that if it truly had Rose would never admit it, let alone give it back to him… He knew she liked watching him suffer, his head ill with chaos, drowning himself in liquor…

But, between his doubts, there was something that danced in the back of his mind, a blur of a memory taunting him, a fragment of a night that seemed so far away yet so close at the same time… There were flashes of dazzling, blue facets dancing around him, a steely gaze, the bitter taste of bourbon…

It had to be his migraine, his vision beginning to play cruel tricks on him…

"I don't give a damn what you have to do or who you have to hunt down," Nathan started again, smashing the remainder of his cigar into a nearby ashtray.

Cal thought that perhaps he would leave for once free of any injuries. But before he could exit his father whirled around to face him, grabbing him roughly by the lapel of his jacket, snarling with utter contempt, the dangerous bite of brandy on his breath, "Just figure it out…"

Cal nodded, knowing better than to argue with the hands that knew discipline.

As he watched him walk away he cursed under his breath.

Picking up the nearby decanter, he poured himself a generous shot of liquor, gulping it down just to feel it burn. With a sigh he collected his coat, storming out of the study, slamming shut the front door, not caring if it flew off the hinges.

He knew he was damned.

He smirked to himself as he sat in the car home, he watched the night streets passing him by, the silkiness of the dark bringing about a warm comfort in the cool, June air…

He would think of something. He always did.

The idea of losing anything more than he already had in the last months was amusing beyond belief. He couldn't care less.

He made his own luck, after all.

xXx

"Shouldn't you still be in bed, resting?" Cal sneered as he leaned against the doorframe of the sunroom, frowning at the bright scene in front of him.

"The doctor said it would be perfectly fine for me to get some fresh air once I felt up to it." Rose responded, shrugging him off as she tucked a stray curl behind her ear, concentrating on turning the page of the book she was so invested in.

"Rose, it's barely been two days-"

"-I'm fine!"

Cal knew she was lying. He watched, sipping his coffee, as she struggled to sit up straight, her face contorting subtley in pain as she moved ever so carefully.

He sighed, turning his gaze upwards to the ceiling, "Why must you be so stubborn?"

Rose locked her eyes with her husband from across the room, smiling at him with a syrupy sort of sweetness.

"I'm only following orders. Isn't that what you want for me to do, darling?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Cal groaned inwardly. This argument was doing everything but helping his brutal hangover. His head was throbbing, his vision melding into a kaleidoscope of confused colors that only came along with the beginning of a merciless migraine.

"I'm not in the mood for this, Rose…"

Returning to her book, she yawned, feigning exhaustion. "Then leave me be."

Cal closed his eyes for a moment, hoping to cease the increasing intensity of his headache; fighting the overwhelming urge to strike the woman in front of him. Stepping towards Rose, he could feel the calmness in his voice beginning to waver.

"Aren't you going to have some breakfast at least?"

She flashed her eyes at him, disgust simmering in her gaze. "I'm not hungry…"

"You'll have to eat eventually you know… Unless, of course, you plan on starving yourself to death... " Cal responded flatly, irritation flickering across his face.

Rose chuckled, "Well, I suppose that doesn't sound so bad…"

Cal only rolled his eyes. She was a fool.

"I heard what the doctor said to you when I woke up," she began again as she shot Cal a dark look, "He said that the circumstances of the miscarriage seemed 'suspicious'..."

Cal scoffed, trying not to notice how her voice shook with emotion as she spoke, the tears she was trying to hold back... "You don't know what you heard, Rose. You were very heavily sedated..."

"I do know! I'm not an idiot!"

He dismissed her, sipping his coffee again, "I never said you were, dear..."

She was.

Staring at him for a moment, Rose waited for him to continue,for him to berate her with insults about what an absolutely absurd child she was being… But he just stood there, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, as if everything she was saying was an inconvenience.

Then something clicked.

"You wanted this baby gone, you wanted every trace of Jack destroyed!" she whispered suddenly, all of the pieces suddenly falling into place… "You did this… Didn't you?"

Her head was spinning as she gazed at Cal once more, hoping that perhaps he would give himself away, his dark eyes telling her the morbid truth of why he had really let her keep Jack's baby… Just to get rid of it when it was convenient to him…

You'll learn to be grateful if you expect that thing to live…

The vision of his disgusted sneer swam in her mind, she felt her stomach turn violently…

She almost didn't want him to reply.

But Cal just blinked at her, shaking his head as he turned on his heel. He almost felt sorry for her sanity.

xXx