Chapter 6

Charlie sits on her old and creaky bed, her legs out in front of her as she tries to breathe steadily, her gaze focused on the dancing light from the cracks of dawn breaking.

Another nightmare, another sleepless night.

Her legs are shaking and she rests her sweaty palms on her knees to try and still them even as they continue to shake relentlessly.

She knows what will calm and her and slowly lies back onto the bed on her side, curling her knees to her chest as her arms wind around her knees and she quietly starts to sing.

"Heading down south to the land of the pines and I'm thumbin' my way into North Caroline. Starin' up the road and pray to God I see headlights."

She sings the song until she's just whispering the words into the warm air of morning, until the shaking resides and her hands loosen from the vise grip she has on her legs.

Just anotherday, even if it is her birthday.

She's calm enough now to sits herself up in bed with disgust for letting it happen again before swinging her legs over the side of her bed and throwing on cutoff shorts and a tank top to combat the Texas heat. Sliding on socks and her boots before sliding
/her knife into her boot, feeling the comforting feeling of heaviness against her foot as she walks out the door of her house.

The town is still quiet, vendors starting to setup for the day as she keeps her head down and stops at one to buy and apple for breakfast, her stomach protesting against the food but she forces it down her throat anyway, knowing that will be the most
/she'll be eating today.

She slows down to wander through the vendors, there's no rush to get to the bar today, Miles has a key and she won't be busy for another few hours. The rough feeling against her big toe reminds her of her need for new socks and she starts the search for
/them, weaving her way through the stands of vegetables and knick knacks until she finds what she's looking for.

She finds four pairs, two thin ankle ones and two thick wool pairs for the impending winter, her mind already preparing for the long hard winter ahead of them. Cold diamonds cut into the palm of her hand as she rolls them around, the heat of the sun beating
/down on her and she impulsively grabs a straw brim hat and places it on her head.

The vendor is an older lady and she immediately makes her way over to Charlie when she spots her.

"And how's Charlie this fine morning?"

Charlie smiles despite the heat and lack of sleep. "I'm doing okay Evie. In need of some new socks though." She holds up the pairs of socks in her hand and Evie's breaks into a smile as she takes the socks from Charlie's hand and inspects them before
/nodding approvingly.

"These will do you just fine my dear, especially with winter looming."

Charlie smiles and then remembers the hat on her head and hands it to Evie. "This as well please."

Evie takes it from Charlie's hand and glances around her stand. "Are you sure there's nothing else you want?"

Charlie shakes her head even as her eye catches on a cobalt dress hanging on one of the homemade racks and even as Charlie envisions wearing it, her common sense smacks her harshly back down. Old Charlie would have worn that. Pre-blackout Charlie. Even
/mid blackout Charlie would have enjoyed frivolous novelties like this dress, but she isn't either of those girls anymore and the reminder hurts her in the place she didn't think she could hurt again.

Charlie turns back to Evie and forces a smile, "No thank you, just the socks and hat."

Evie hesitates and then wraps everything in brown paper and tells Charlie the price making Charlie frown.

"You're undercharging me Evie."

The older lady's smile is sly and warm as she winks at Charlie. "The hat is a gift my dear, at least allow me this on your birthday."

Charlie's shocked face makes Evie laugh, the older lady's eyes lighting up.

"How did you know?" Charlie stutters, confusion in the crease in her forehead. Evie smiles and then leans into Charlie's space like they were speaking about a conspiracy.

"Miles Matheson my dear, has everyone on lookout for you today." She hands Charlie the brown paper wrapped items and when Charlie takes hold of it a stunned expression still on her face, Evie clasps Charlie's hands within her own.

"You've made it to twenty-four Charlie, you survived. You're surviving. You walk through here every morning and you make it through the day while some of these people who have survived less are wallowing away."

Tears spring to Charlie's eyes and only years of practice keep them off her face as Evie's face softens to the point of empathy and she clutches Charlies hands tighter.

"You will keep surviving Charlie Matheson. Not because you want to, but because you're too damn resilient to die."

Charlie can't resist hugging the older woman, her heart heavy as she smiles goodbye, carrying her brown paper wrapped package through the street with her. Miles remembered her birthday.

Today is a better day.

Bass sees Charlie wander through the street from his little table on the street, carrying a brown package as she smiles unconsciously at the group of children who yell happy birthday as they pass her in a flurry.

Twenty-four. Charlie is twenty-four today. The years have blurred together for him, tragedy after war after death has made the years almost insignificant to how he feels. The mirror doesn't lie when he looks in it, the aged and haggard appearance hasn't
/disappeared with the end of the war because he knows better. There is always another war.

If anyone had asked him to join another war a year ago he would have joined without hesitation. War was where he thrived and breathed the cleanest of air. War was where he kept his heart and the people who held it so gently.

He wonders what Charlie will do today, she loved presents as a child and flowers and grape soda. But Charlie isn't six anymore, she isn't even twenty-four. She's the age that never ages and never forgets.

His eyes wonder around the street and stops on old Evie Patterson waving him over and he knows he can't deny her anything as he gets off the chair and makes his way over to her.

"What can I do for you Evie?" He asks his tone concerned as he takes in the jittery energy coming from her.

"Have you gotten Charlie Matheson a gift yet Sebastian?"

"I don't think Charlie wants anything from me Evie." He says quietly and is surprised when she laughs and rolls her eyes at him.

"Men haven't got a clue, do they?"

Bass feels confused and must look it because Evie sighs a long, frustrated woman sigh.

"Charlie Matheson is beautiful is she not?"

Bass hesitates to answer that but when Evie rolls her eyes he nods uncomfortably. "She's as beautiful as rain on a sweltering Texas day."

Evie's grin makes Bass flush red and she plows ahead before he can take it back.

"But as beautiful as she is, how many men in this town will approach her today, let alone give her a gift?"

Bass feels lost in this conversation and answers as honestly as he can. "I really don't know Evie."

"None Sebastian. Because as beautiful as Charlie is, there is not a man in this town that can approach Charlie, because even as it's her birthday, she is not twenty-four. Charlie Matheson will never be that young again.

"Charlie is more than beautiful, she's survived the things that have killed some of the strongest men. She has survived the loss of almost every person she has loved. She has sacrificed so that we for now, can be free. She has given all she can give,
/and has never asked for someone else to give."

Bass feels his heart drop as Evie speaks and the clenching in his stomach makes him want to vomit but before he can excuse himself Evie touches his hand as she hands him a brown paper wrapped package.

"What this?" He asks her.

"Give thisto her today and maybe you will find your way home Sebastian."

Charlie had found the bar decorated in unconventional paper made decoration and a sign saying 'Happy Birthday Charlie!'

Miles had remembered and he had made sure the whole town had known it. For the first time in what Charlie can't even remember, she feels light.

People had insisted on feeding her until she was so full she didn't even think of the morning panic she had endured. Cake had been served and she had eaten that too, the bar for the first time since she had opened it a place filled with laughter and clapping
/that reminds her of the times her Miles and Bass had sat around the fire telling stories of all the things that would make each other laugh.

He's here. She can feel it, feel his gaze always on her. She hates it, but not enough to kick him out, the bottle in her hand keeping her flying. After all, this is all she wanted for so long, she just wants to pretend, just for a little while longer,
/that nothing has changed.

Everything has changed.

"I would like to make a toast!"

Charlie jerks out of thought as her very drunk uncle raises the bottle he's holding and aims it at her making her roll her eyes.

"To Charlie! It's her birthday ya know."

Miles garbled speech makes people laugh before he holds his hand up to quiet them.

"Charlie is…special. Better than all of us here. She has held me together through the lowest I have ever been. Charlie… Charlie holds everyone together.

When the war was going on, we used to call Charlie our North Star because we knew," Miles's voice breaks slightly, "that she would be what leads us home."

The bar is silent and its smothering before Miles clinks his bottle against hers and says, "To our North Star."

The clinking of glasses echoes through the bar and this time Charlie can't help the tears that slide down her face as she hugs her uncle.

"Thank you." She murmurs against his shoulders, her hands frantically brushing away the tears.

"No, thank you for saving me Charlie."

The party goes on for awhile, and Charlie doesn't know what time it is when she end up wandering home after dropping Miles off at his house. She nears her house in slight relief since her head is spinning from all the whiskey and a new found bottle of
/tequila that had been one of her gifts.

There's rustling from behind her and she reaches for her knife when a hand grabs her arm and a curse is muttered behind her.

"Fuck Charlie you are smashed." Bass growls as he tries to keep her upright from the sudden head rush and Charlie pushes away from.

"Correction," She says haughtily, "I am very drunk."

She stumbles a bit but manages to get her footing as she continues the walk to her house, hearing Bass jog to keep up with her.

"What do you want Monroe?"

They're almost at her house now and he gently puts his hand on her arm and before she can brush him off he places the gift in her hands.

She looks blearily at the package in her hands and then at him, seemingly speechless as she stares back at the package in her hands in wonder that drunk Charlie can't conceal.

He brushes a lock of her hair away from her face, surprised when she doesn't slap it away and tilts her chin up to look at him and when she does, he's hit with the incredulity in her expression that makes him want to hold her, but instead he presses a
/kiss to her forehead and drunk Charlie doesn't object.

"Happy birthday North Star." He murmurs before leaving her standing there under the moon with a brown paper wrapped package on her birthday.