Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Marvel or the characters therein. Nor, sadly, do I make any moneys from the posting of this fanfiction.

Stop! Fanfiction time! (pauses) Yeah, but I made you think it. And isn't that what matters? LOL! Enjoy.

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The Sneak

The men stared in wonder at the women basking in the sun on the private deck. Darcy was dressed in a fifty's style two-piece, Pepper was in a stylish one piece that must have cost more than many there spent on car payments, and Jane was in shorts and a wife beater she had gotten from Thor—she didn't have a bathing suit at all. Thor opened his beer and let out a hum of delight at seeing his woman getting away from the work that would keep her inside.

Steve watched as Darcy was doing her best to spread out her towel on the sun lounge, but was failing due to the wind. It was in the middle of this that he noticed who wasn't there.

"Where's Hermione?" Steve asked Bucky.

"She went shopping," he told him. "It shouldn't take her long, as she's not much for it."

"That's a first," Tony responded, as he joined them with a whisky on the rocks in hand. "Well, damn. I had hoped Pep would have worn a different one piece that I got her in the Caribbean." He looked to the others. "You know, the kind with only the bottoms."

"I bet," came from Bruce, who watched as Natasha came out onto the deck dressed in a black bikini that showed off more skin than should be legal.

"That ass…" Tony breathed.

"Is attached to the thighs of doom," Clint reminded him. "So, watch what you say, Stark."

Hermione was the next one out, but she was dressed in a silken bathrobe. She scuttled over to Bucky.

"Hello, gentlemen," she murmured. "James, I can't reach my back." She handed him the lotion, dropping the robe so that she was revealing that not only was she topless, but her bottoms weren't exactly the biggest bikini bottoms they had ever seen.

Bucky let out a growl at the sight of her there dressed so.

Turning her head slightly, she murmured innocently, "What?"

Grabbing her up, he threw her over his shoulder and took her back where she came from. It was a laughing Hermione that was waving to the women and calling out that she would see them later.

"Hermione's much more devious than I thought," Steve murmured.

"Why is that, Cap?" Clint asked.

"This hadn't been her idea. It was Darcy's," came from Bruce. "Hermione doesn't like sunbathing. Even told her sister that, if I recall correctly."

"That double-crosser!" Darcy said as she joined the men. "I should have known she was going to pull something like that!"

"We can say two things with certainty now," Tony announced. "One, the breasts are real."

"And two?" drawled Pepper dryly, as she joined them.

"You won't kill me for just pointing out a fact."

"She won't, but I might," Natasha answered, gaining an evil grin from Pepper.

"It's like the kids are saying these days. That booty be poppin'."

Several groaned, leaving them. It wasn't until it was just Pepper and Tony standing there that anything was said.

"That was a dad joke," she pointed out to him. "Want to go inside and practice on making that a real deal?"

Wrapping his arm over her shoulders, he said, "I thought you'd never ask."

TBC…

…

And there you have it! Another oneshot taking flight into the Internet. Take care, everyone. And please remember, remaining awesome is mandatory for one's health and far easier than you think. Just be you! (Giggles) Have a good one, everyone!