A/N: Hey, awesome people :) Thanks for sticking with me :)
Will go through the previous chapters as I've seen numerous errors. My bad.
Onward and up!
-H
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :(
CHAPTER 8: Addicted
Brittany was warm and the most comfortable she had been in about as long as she could remember. Even half asleep, she was fully aware that the feeling had everything to do with the girl in her arms. The girl that was snuggled close and moving around uncontrollably and-
Wait.
Brittany forced her eyes open, just in time to see Santana's bunched fist heading for her face. Completely taken by surprise, Santana hit Brittany on her cheek. It wasn't hard, but it still hurt like a bitch.
"Ow, fuck!" she moaned, rolling away and clutching her face.
Wait. Why did Santana punch me?
She sat up, shaking the pain from her face and saw her love curling into herself and shaking uncontrollably. Her eyes were shut tight and her breathing was quick.
She's having a nightmare.
Brittany tentatively put a hand on Santana's shoulder, but the young girl wouldn't come out of her dreamland. She gently shook Santana, but it had no effect. She frowned. Even in sleep, Santana looked scared and Brittany needed to wake her up.
"Santana," she said in a low voice that was caked with sleep. She didn't even know what time it was.
Irrelevant.
Brittany hovered over Santana and tried shaking her a little harder, saying her name again. No response. Santana's breathing was getting heavier, but not in a good way. Brittany froze as a small sound escaped Santana's mouth. It sounded like a whimper, but…
It was a sound. A sound made with vocal chords.
Santana suddenly started thrashing and Brittany snapped into action. She straddled her and grabbed her flying fists, calling her name urgently.
"Santana! It's Brittany, it's me! You're ok! Please just wake up. I've got you. Nothing's going to happen. You're safe."
The girl beneath her was heating up and she could see sweat forming along her forehead. Her wrists were clammy, but Brittany kept a strong hold on them.
Maybe I'm doing this wrong. Maybe she feels trapped.
Brittany immediately jumped off Santana and released her. She sat at the end of the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest, hating how helpless she felt. If she felt trapped, Brittany couldn't hold her down to wake her up. Calling her name wasn't working; she was probably too deep in her dream to hear it. She didn't want to have Santana fight her nightmare alone, but she was at a loss.
Maybe if she feels some kind of comfort, like knowing that I'm there with her.
Santana was tossing around, the expression on her face almost killing Brittany. She had to do something. If she fucked it up, she'd know not to do it again. She shuffled as close to Santana as she dared and when the Latina turned towards her, she wrapped an arm tightly around her waist and pulled her close. Santana's fists immediately started pushing against her chest, but Brittany held her tighter.
"Santana, it's me!" she said clearly. She moved her face closer to Santana's and whispered in her ear. "I love you. I've got you. I'll protect you."
She could have sworn that Santana seemed to still slightly before trying to fight her again, but she refused to let her go. She kept repeating the same words in her ear until Santana jerked violently in her arms and her fists unclenched.
Brittany pulled back and met Santana's terrified eyes.
"I've got you," she whispered.
Santana just dove into Brittany's neck and snuggled as close to her as she could. The dancer wrapped her arms around her and rolled onto her back so that they were once more in the position that they'd woken up that morning.
Brittany held her close and securely, humming pieces of Santana's music and softly stroking her hair. It felt almost like an hour had passed since Santana's nightmare had woken Brittany up, and she was well aware of the pool of tears that had flowed from the girl in her arms, but she didn't say anything.
When Santana's breathing had evened out a little, Brittany stopped her humming.
"How about I run you a nice hot bath?" she suggested quietly.
She smiled when she felt a nod in her neck.
"Ok. Come with me?"
They slipped out of bed together, Santana staying close to Brittany's side. The blonde turned on her bathroom light and headed straight for her big tub. She managed to get Santana to sit on the toilet while she ran the water and got out some bubble bath and other relaxing oils.
"Should I bring you a change of clothes?" she asked softly, glancing at the girl who was still shaking slightly.
Santana lifted her head and their eyes met. Brittany swallowed. She wanted more than anything to take away the perpetual pain that she saw in the mysterious eyes that had her hypnotised. She knew that Santana trusted her and she knew that with time, she might be able to accomplish that.
She just hated that it was going to take time. She hated that the girl she loved was hurting, was scared, and was in pain. It felt like she experienced those things too.
She broke their gaze and quickly shut off the water. She shuffled across the small distance between them and knelt in front of Santana.
"I want to make it better for you, but I don't know what you want me to do," she whispered, resting her hands on Santana's thighs. "I'll do anything you want me to. Even if that anything is nothing at all."
Santana looked at her for a while, her eyes travelling all over Brittany's face, but always returning back to her blue orbs. Brittany waited, as she always would with Santana. The young girl's next action surprised the hell out of her. She never, ever, in a million years, expected her to pull back slightly and yank her tank top over her head.
Brittany kept her eyes on Santana's, desperately resisting the urge to let them travel down to the newly exposed skin. To her credit, Santana didn't flinch. Brittany tried to read any kind of emotion in her eyes, but she couldn't find anything.
It scared the shit out of her. How was Santana able to be so detached about undressing in front of her? Or did it not mean anything? She breathed out quickly. That would suck, because this meant everything to her.
Santana's hands went to the bottom of Brittany's tank top and she pulled it up. The blonde didn't resist and lifted her arms so that it could be removed more easily. Santana's eyes didn't drift downwards either. Brittany's heart was pounding. She didn't really know what to expect with Santana's actions. Did she want to bath together? Did she want more? Would Brittany be able to deny her? She knew that she didn't want their first time together to be as a comfort after a nightmare. She was willing to do anything to make Santana feel better, but would having sex really accomplish that? She almost felt like it would cheapen what she anticipated to be a completely beautiful experience.
But would divulging that scare Santana off?
Santana took Brittany's hands and they stood up together.
"San, are you…" Brittany couldn't even finish her question as Santana dropped her hands and instead rested them on the band of Brittany's sweatpants.
Holy shit.
"Wait," Brittany breathed as Santana's fingers started pulling them down.
Santana looked up at her, that look of confused hurt clouding her vision again.
Fuck.
"You know that I'm not going anywhere, right?" Brittany said quickly, shuffling a step closer and cupping Santana's face. "Nothing that you say or do will make me love you any less. I couldn't love you any less than I do. It only grows."
Santana just stared at her. Brittany could feel her fingers nervously fiddling with the band of her sweatpants.
"I will do whatever you need me to do, but I just want you to be sure if it's what you want too."
Instead of answering, Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and pulled her into an embrace. The dancer gasped as the feeling of their naked chests meeting for the first time, but when Santana rested her head on her shoulder, she let her arms wrap around her waist too, savouring the soft skin underneath her fingertips.
"You are so beautiful," she whispered, placing a soft kiss to Santana's shoulder.
Santana snuggled into her neck and kissed the underside of Brittany's jaw.
"I got you," she whispered. "I'm never letting you go."
They stood in their embrace for a few more moments before Santana pulled back slightly. She met Brittany's eyes and the blonde was exceptionally happy to see a familiar warmth in those dark depths.
Hi, she mouthed.
Santana gave her a small smile and leaned up to kiss her, running her hands up Brittany's naked back and embedding them in her hair. Almost immediately, Santana intensified the kiss. It took Brittany by surprise, but she was complete putty in her love's arms so she just reciprocated. She pulled Santana closer to her and rested her hands against the flat of the Latina's smooth back. Their tongues met and Brittany groaned in pleasure. Their kisses, although relatively soft, were fuelled with passion and desire. It was making her head spin in the most deliciously uncontrollable way.
Wait, control. Shit, I need to keep control.
Brittany tried to slow their kisses, but Santana always managed to draw her in again, making her head swim. She was addicted to Santana Lopez and she was pretty sure there wasn't any kind of rehab.
Not that she'd go.
Santana stepped them backwards until Brittany's back hit her bathroom door. God, the feeling of Santana's body pressed up against her was maddeningly amazing. She was getting very close to that point of no return and almost like Santana had read her mind, their kisses started getting more gentle until they were soft pecks against cheeks.
Brittany rested her forehead against Santana's as they got their breath back.
"Wow," the blonde breathed out.
Santana nodded subtly and pulled back to look at her questioningly. She tilted her head to the bath. Brittany smiled and nodded. Santana took her hand and they walked across the bathroom.
"I'm going to put more water in," Brittany said, kneeling next to the bath. "It's a little cold now."
Santana smiled and nodded, her eyes flickering over Brittany's back. The blonde felt her entire body ignite at the gaze.
Christ. And you want to take a bath together? You do realise that means you're both going to be naked, right?
Once the water was back to comfort temperature, Brittany stood up. There was a little distance between her and Santana and dark eyes dropped down to take in her body. Brittany took a breath before allowing herself to do the same.
It was actually quite staggering how perfect Santana's body was. Her stomach was toned and even though her curves weren't all that apparent, they were there and suited her so well. And then… Her breasts were possibly the most perfect creations on the planet. They were definitely bigger than Brittany's, as she'd expected, but they were just…perfect.
Santana smiled and hooked her fingers into her sweatpants, bending slightly as she pushed them down her legs.
Holy fuck. Oh, shit. I'm about to die and go to happy Santana heaven.
Her legs were glorious. She was wearing red underwear with little black musical notes and it made Brittany smile affectionately. She stood up and shyly met Brittany's eyes.
Right! My turn.
Brittany had realised that it wasn't about sex, and that it actually never had been. It was about opening themselves to each other. Baring their souls in a physical way.
She pulled her pants down, stepping out of them ungracefully. Santana's gaze on her body was incredibly distracting. Even though the look in those dark eyes was purely appreciative and maybe a little lusty, it still made Brittany feel like she was completely naked. Well, she pretty much was.
They stood in front of each, eyes roaming and meeting again. They exchanged shy smiles. Brittany felt that Santana had already been so brave, and it was time that she put herself out there the way that her love had. She quickly dropped her underwear and took a breath. Santana's mouth dropped open a little and she swallowed. Brittany blushed. She liked to keep herself very tidy, so there was only a very thin strip of hair. Everything else was cleanly shaven. She wasn't hiding anything.
Brittany leaned forward and took Santana's hand, leading her to the bath. She stepped in, her body quickly adjusting to the temperature and sat down. She smiled encouragingly up at Santana, who was looking nervous.
"You don't have to, San," she said gently. "No pressure."
Santana got a determined look in her eyes and Brittany just lifted her eyebrows as the younger girl pulled down her cute underwear. As much as she wanted to look, Brittany smiled at Santana and kept her eyes on her face. She held out a hand and Santana took it, stepping into the tub. She sat down with her back to Brittany, scooting back against her. Brittany let her thighs secure Santana, her hands safely on the edges of the tub. She knew that they'd wonder if they were allowed to explore Santana's skin. She was determined not to ruin their perfect moment.
"You ok?" Brittany whispered, nuzzling her nose against Santana's ear.
The Latina, who had been a little tense, relaxed against Brittany and the blonde smiled at the feeling of Santana's back pressed against her front. It just felt so natural and perfect.
"Thank you for this, Santana. It's amazing."
Santana leaned her head on Brittany's shoulder and turned her head for a kiss which Brittany happily obliged to. Santana found her hands and took them underwater, placing them on her stomach. Her fingers immediately splayed across the taut muscles as they continued to kiss. It was lazy and sensual and wonderful. After a few perfect kissing sessions, Brittany offered to give Santana a light massage. She was pretty sure that her love had accumulated a serious amount of tension over the last two days. And who the hell could blame her.
Brittany's hands left Santana's stomach, but not before trailing her fingers up her sides and barely missing her breasts. She felt Santana take a sharp breath and smiled. It still astounded her that everything that she was feeling, Santana was too. It was too good to be true. She'd found her perfect match and, by some miracle, her perfect match, her soul mate, loved her back.
I'm the luckiest girl in the world.
She pressed a kiss to Santana's head and twisted around so that she could grab some oils from the counter behind her.
"Could you scoot a little forward, baby?" Brittany asked softly.
Santana turned her head and kissed her suddenly. It caught Brittany by surprise.
"What was that for?" she asked dazedly when the younger girl had broken away.
Santana grinned and ran her finger across Brittany's lips. She made the motion of carrying a baby and the dancer understood. She looked down bashfully.
"Is that ok?"
She got a furious nod.
"Great," she breathed. She squirted some oil into her hands and started on Santana's neck. The Latina's muscles gradually relaxed beneath her careful movements and it made Brittany smile. Again. She felt like she was in a perpetual state of smiling with Santana. And hell, she didn't actually give a fuck because it felt awesome. After ten minutes of light massaging, Brittany bit her lip and dipped her hands under the water and started rubbing harder circles into Santana's lower back. She saw how the Latina sat that she carried a lot of tension in her lower back.
Santana dropped her head back onto Brittany's shoulder and the blonde's eyes widened. From her vantage point, she had a torturous view of Santana's breasts that were covered with suds and water. She swallowed.
Holy Jesus. I'm in love with the sexiest girl in the entire fucking world.
Brittany shut her eyes and started kissing Santana's neck and shoulder softly as she continued her lower back massage. When she was done, she wrapped her arms around Santana's stomach and pulled her back into her, burying her face into dark locks. Santana chuckled and just rested her hands on top of Brittany's as they got comfortable again.
"I could stay like this forever," Brittany mused, her eyes fluttering closed in pleasurable comfort as Santana dragged her nails up and down Brittany arms that were still snug around her.
With her left index finger, Santana traced something on Brittany's forearm. The blonde smiled and concentrated. Another way for her to communicate with Santana.
Me too.
Brittany hummed and kissed her cheek. The silence between them was comfortable. In the back of Brittany's mind, she wanted to ask Santana what her nightmare was about and why it had affected her so badly, but she didn't want to take two steps back after this amazing experience. She didn't want to taint it. Santana had said that she would tell her. She'd asked her to wait. And Brittany had said that she would. Which meant that she'd wait forever if she had to.
She felt Santana shiver after a while and took the hint.
"Would you like a shower?" she asked.
Santana nodded and they slowly manoeuvred out of the tub and towards the shower. Brittany turned it on and held the door open for Santana to step in.
"I'll just-" Brittany was cut off by Santana grabbing her hand to stop her from leaving. She looked at her shyly. The blonde grinned. 'Yeah?"
Santana nodded and Brittany stepped into the shower, pulling the door closed behind her. Their bodies were pressed up against each other and, even though it felt completely amazing, Brittany didn't feel the need to push Santana up against the wall and make crazy love to her.
Although, sure. Hello, that would be awesome. But she was also perfectly comfortable standing under a hot spray with the love of her life in her arms. Even though their wet skin was pressing against each other, Brittany just smiled, leaned down and gave Santana three kisses on her cheek. The skin was hot when she pulled back after her third kiss and it had nothing to do with the water temperature.
"So beautiful," she whispered, water dripping down their faces.
Santana cupped her cheek and met her lips for a sweet kiss that turned into a few sweet kisses.
Sweet lady kisses.
Santana truly defined that term. All of her kisses were sweet. They were also gentle and passionate and knee-crumbling and breathtaking, but underneath all that, they were sweet. Brittany took her shampoo and gestured to Santana to turn around. She set about washing her thick hair, treating the girl in her arms like the most precious treasure in the world.
Which she was.
Once both their hair had been washed, Brittany shut off the water and opened the shower door, stepping out first and holding out a hand for Santana to take. She did and it made the blonde smile. Again.
Oh, it was hopeless denying it.
Brittany grabbed fluffy towels for them and delighted in how they kept sneaking glances at each other while they dried off. Santana tucked her towel around her body and walked to the door, waiting for Brittany. The dancer could feel her body heating up under Santana's lustful scrutiny and she sent her a wink. Safely covered with a towel, she took her love's hand and they headed back into the bedroom. Brittany turned on her bedside lamp and checked her phone for the time. They'd slept for most of the afternoon.
"It's six," she told Santana. "Should we see what's cooking?"
Santana nodded and met Brittany's smile. The blonde couldn't resist leaning in and kissing her. She loved that she was able to do that.
To think, twenty-four hours ago, you were wishing you could do that very thing.
Brittany walked over to her wardrobe and fished out two clean tank tops and sweatpants. Luckily, as a dancer, she had plenty. Santana opened her underwear and began fishing. She smirked and held up a lacy red thong.
Brittany flushed and grabbed it. "Shut up," she grumbled.
Santana laughed and found two more suitable boy shorts for them to wear. Brittany's mouth dropped as soon as her towel did. She hadn't expected Santana to be that comfortable outside of the bathroom, but wow, was she glad. Her eyes started at tanned feet and travelled upwards, taking in smooth legs, that ass, perfect hips, her very generous breasts and finally, her beautiful and flawless face.
"Wow," Brittany breathed before clamping a hand over her mouth.
Santana sent her a smile and continued dressing. It took the dancer a moment to realise that she should be probably be doing the same thing. While the younger girl checked her phone, responding to a message most likely from Shelby or Holly, Brittany dressed and grabbed their discarded clothes, stuffing them into her laundry basket. She'd probably have to do a load the next day if Santana was going to be going home.
Her face must have turned sad at the thought because Santana was in front of her with a concerned look on her face.
"It's nothing," Brittany tried to brush off, but Santana already knew her a little too well. She held her hands and kept her close. The dancer sighed. "I just realised that I'm going to have to do laundry for you tomorrow because you're going to be going home," she mumbled.
Santana sighed as well and pulled Brittany to her for a hug. They both knew that reality was around the corner. They'd had a taste of it that morning and Brittany wanted nothing more than to stay holed up in her bedroom. After all, the most wonderful things had happened with Santana in her room. Who'd want to leave? Who'd want to go back into a world where insensitive assholes did abhorrent things to girls who couldn't defend themselves?
Not that Santana couldn't defend herself, but it was a little more challenging because she was unable to speak. Brittany pulled out of the hug and gave her an Eskimo kiss. Santana smiled and scrunched up her nose adorably.
"My stomach's about to eat me from the inside, so should we go?"
Santana nodded, quickly clambering onto the bed and grabbing Brittany's hoodie. The blonde smiled as her love pulled it on and it grew wider when she snuggled into it.
God, this girl is so perfect, it's almost impossible. Almost.
Brittany held out a hand and Santana linked their fingers together. Their descent to the ground floor was slow, both girls happy to just take their time, savouring every moment with each other.
"Well, look who's actually still alive!" Quinn called with a grin when they entered the kitchen.
"Hey," Brittany greeted in confusion. "You're still here?"
"Yup. Momsy here felt in dire need of my entertainment skills. I couldn't but oblige."
Brittany raised an eyebrow and glanced at her mother who just rolled her eyes.
"And how much have you had to drink, Quinn?"
Quinn looked up at the ceiling as she contemplated the question. "Lots," she eventually stated. "Your dad's beating me at poker, though."
"We're playing blackjack," Chris Pierce said with a smirk, standing next to his wife and trying to sample whatever she was making. He earned himself a smart slap on his hand and pouted exactly like his daughter.
Brittany grinned. Her parents were totally cute. "Mom, Dad, I'd like to officially meet someone." She stepped forward, coaxing Santana with her, who suddenly looked very shy and nervous. "Don't worry, baby. They raised me, remember?" she whispered so that only Santana could hear her.
She received a thankful smile in return. "Mom, Dad, this is Santana Lopez."
Santana stepped forward and so did Victoria. Brittany's mom shook her outstretched hand with a big smile. "I'm Victoria Pierce. I've heard a lot about you, Santana. It's great to finally meet you."
The Latina nodded and said thank you in sign language. Victoria beamed. "And this is Chris, my other half and the one responsible for all the crazy in that one over there."
"Hey!" Brittany protested good-naturedly. "I'll have you know my crazy is totally on the DL. Santana doesn't even know about my sock fetish."
She sent a wink to an alarmed Santana, who immediately relaxed and rolled her eyes with a smile.
"Santana Lopez!" Chris said enthusiastically. "Welcome to the family!"
Brittany smiled. That was definitely something she could see happening. When Santana met her eyes, she could swear that she was thinking the same thing.
"Santana, you go to McKinley with Britt and Quinn?" Chris asked.
She nodded, her mouth full of vegetables.
"She's like this musical genius," Quinn stated enthusiastically and Brittany smiled, settling back to watch her drunk best friend gush about her girlfriend. Oh…she needed to do something about that.
Quinn continued, "She makes music! Like, on the piano and triangle and oboe and-"
"Not the oboe," Brittany interrupted with a snort.
"She probably could," Quinn argued with a hazy glare.
Brittany nodded in agreement and squeezed Santana's hand. It hadn't left hers since they'd left the bedroom.
"Anyway, so she's totally brilliant and Brittany can only dance to her music now cos no one else's works and it's totally cute cos they're like yin and yang, but like, not Chinese or whatever. Mike's Chinese. Maybe he's yin. So who's yang?"
"I think that's enough for you, Quinn," Victoria said, grabbing Quinn's glass. "You're staying in the den tonight."
Brittany rolled her eyes. "To add to what the ever-eloquent Quinn said, Santana is a very talented composer and musician." She glanced sideways and sent her a proud smile. "She has a near photographic memory when it comes to reading music and hearing music."
"That's impressive," Victoria said. "Do you have any plans for when you graduate?"
Santana shrugged.
"She's only a junior," Brittany supplied. "So she's got time."
"And you, Britty? How'd the re-eval go?" Chris asked.
Brittany bit her lip. "Actually, I didn't make it."
Her dad got a look of recognition in his eyes and nodded. "Gotcha."
"It's ok, though. I'm happy to take the initial grade. I'll just blow them away with my winter showcase."
"Any idea what you're gonna do?" Victoria asked.
Brittany looked at Santana and smiled. "Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea."
She received a smile in return and it only made hers wider
"I wanna see what you were gonna do at the re-eval!" Quinn pouted. "You got me all excited about it and then you didn't do it."
"Oh, yes, I would love to see you dance, Britty," Chris agreed with a grin that mirrored his daughter's. "I haven't seen you really dance since May."
"Well, that depends on whether my maestri would accompany me," Brittany said, quirking a questioning brow at Santana, who nodded easily.
"Smashing. We'll head into the ballroom once dinner is finished," Victoria confirmed.
Ballroom? Santana mouthed.
Brittany giggled and kissed the back of her hand. "We're extravagant, darling."
She just got an eye roll in return. Dinner was quickly finished up and Brittany couldn't help feeling excited as she led Santana towards the ballroom. She was pretty sure that the younger girl was going to love the grand piano. She grinned when she heard a sharp intake of breath next to her.
The ballroom was massive. Brittany and Victoria had worked tirelessly to make it very special and it had housed many impromptu performances by Brittany and Rachel over the years.
Santana dropped her hand and almost ran to the piano. The dancer just smiled and watched as she inspected every inch of the large grand piano in the far corner. When she returned to Brittany, her happiness was evident and the blonde was glad that she was the cause.
There was a flurry of hand movements that Brittany somehow understood and Santana was gone.
"Where'd she go?" Quinn mumbled, heading for one of the chairs next to the piano.
"To get her music," Brittany replied, doing a few pirouettes and starting a brief warm up.
Within two minutes, Santana was back, looking adorably flushed from what Brittany was sure had been a sprint up to her room and back. Her excitement was palpable. What musician didn't dream of playing a grand piano in a frigging ballroom? Never mind one in her…friend's house?
Ugh. Definitely need to do something about that, she told herself.
Santana handed her the USB and Brittany turned to the stereo and plugged it in. She pushed a few buttons and the sound of violins echoes around the large room. She fiddled with the volume to what she knew Santana would like it to be. Regardless, she inclined her head to the younger girl and they worked the volume until Santana was happy. When Brittany stepped back to the middle of the room, she saw her mom looking at her with a proud smile. She ducked her head, blushing. Victoria knew Brittany the best, after Quinn and Rachel. Not that she felt her sister knew her very well anymore. She sure as hell didn't feel like she knew Rachel. Not the engaged Rachel, anyway.
And Santana was rapidly creeping into that elite group of people who knew Brittany, the real Brittany. Not the superstar at McKinley that just happened to be a really awesome person. Santana knew about her insecurities, about her fierce loyalty, about her determination and her unwavering belief in doing what was right. A small hand on her arm brought her back to the present and she met the dark eyes that made her world make that much more sense. Everything was right with Santana.
Ready? Santana mouthed.
Brittany smiled and nodded. She watched her love walk back to the piano and pick up a remote – of course she would have figured how to operate the stereo. For a brief moment, Brittany wondered if Santana would ever venture into producing.
"Go, Britt!" Quinn hollered and the dancer winced at the excessive volume.
"Calm down, Quinn," Victoria said sternly.
Brittany giggled at her best friend's stubborn pout. She met Santana's eyes and moved into her starting position. They'd rehearsed enough times to develop an understanding that Brittany would always wait for the music. As soon as it started, she launched wholeheartedly into the routine. She let Santana's music (ok, not technically her music) wash over her, through her, around her and her body just moved. During one of her spins, she saw Santana watching her, a dreamy smile on her face. Brittany grinned and put everything she had into her performance.
It was for Santana. It would always be for Santana.
The musician finished the piece with finesse, the violins fitting in perfectly. Brittany immediately looked at her, breathing hard and grinning.
"Britt! That was amazing!" Victoria gushed, walking across the floor and embracing her.
"Thanks."
"Did Mike come up with that routine?" Chris asked.
Brittany shrugged, subtly extending her hand to encourage Santana to join them. "Sort of. Mostly, I guess. I actually came up with a lot of the transitions once I'd danced with Santana on Thursday."
She felt warm all over when she felt familiar fingers slide between her own.
"That was wonderful, honey," Victoria said proudly. "And Santana! Wow. Brittany has bragged about your talents, but you exceeded any expectation that I had! I've never heard someone play so beautifully and effortlessly."
Brittany turned to the younger girl and smiled big at how shy she was acting. It was too fucking adorable for words.
"San, how about you play one of your pieces?" she suggested softly.
Santana met her eyes questioningly.
"Oh, yes! I would love to hear something you composed," Victoria agreed, clapping her hands together. "Please?"
Santana smiled and nodded. Brittany followed her back to the piano and sat down next to her. She just watched Santana's fingers fly over the keys like they were simply extensions of the piano. Seeing her love play from this angle was a different experience. She still felt the incredible urge to get up and move along with the music, but watching Santana create the music was something so powerful that she couldn't even put it into words.
Brittany watched her entire body as Santana played. She was more relaxed than Brittany had ever seen her. She had a content smile on her face and her eyes glanced down at her hands every now and then, but for the most part, they were closed. She could almost liken the way Santana's body moved as she played to how Brittany danced. It was like this was Santana's own dance. And it was mesmerising. Did she look this peaceful and happy when she danced? Did she look anything like that before? How did she look when she danced to Santana's music?
Santana let her fingers rest on the keys until the echo of the music faded. Everyone clapped enthusiastically, but Brittany just leaned in and kissed her cheek three times. Somehow, over the course of their day together, those three kisses had taken on a meaning of their own.
I love you.
Brittany didn't mind finding seventy-two thousand different ways to tell Santana that she loved her because the number of ways that she did love her was uncountable. Number one, top of the list, would always be her everlasting desire for the younger girl. Even when she wasn't a young girl anymore, Brittany was one hundred percent sure that she would still want Santana. She'd want to be near her, hold her hand, kiss her, take baths with her, make love to her…
The blonde flushed and quickly looked down. As much as she wanted Santana, and as much as she wanted to feel that level of intimacy with her, she was more than willing to wait. Already, in forty-eight hours, their relationship had exploded and quickly escalated to something that Brittany had never even imagined she'd be lucky enough to experience. And she knew that Santana felt the same way.
"Britt?"
"Hmmm?"
"We're heading into the den for a drink. Do you want to join us?"
Brittany met Santana's eyes with a question, but the dark eyes that locked onto hers told her a myriad of things. Number one was that Santana wanted some alone time. And Brittany was only too happy to agree to.
"Um, actually, I think we're going to head upstairs. Thanks though, Dad." She stood up and took Santana's hand to guide her from the piano chair.
"Thank you for playing, Santana," Victoria said with a smile. "You are truly so talented and I have no doubt that you are going to make a serious mark on music in the future."
Santana flushed, smiled and ducked her head. She signed her thanks and Victoria nodded.
"Chris, would you mind helping Boozy there?" Brittany's mom requested with a sigh.
Brittany squeezed Santana's hand, causing the Latina to look at her. They communicated with their eyes and Santana eventually nodded.
"I won't be long," Brittany whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek and heading to the couch where her best friend was passed out.
"Don't worry, Daddy. I got her."
"Sure?"
"Yup. I've had practice."
"I find myself worried by that statement," Victoria said with a raised brow.
Brittany hooked Quinn's arm around her neck and heaved her off the couch. A deadweight Quinn was never easy, but Brittany had had lots of practice. She realised that the revelation about Finn's role in Santana's attack and Rachel's reaction to it had obviously shaken Quinn. She usually drank a bit, but never so much that she'd pass out before nine on a Saturday night. As she carried her unconscious friend through the house to the den, she wondered if she'd been a bad friend by ignoring Quinn's distress to stay with Santana. How did one choose between her best friend and her soul mate when both were hurting?
Brittany was well aware that her world had become all about Santana very quickly and her best friend hadn't really even known about the developments until she'd seen them that morning. She didn't want to forget Quinn or shut her out, but Santana was completely encompassing. She was all she thought about and dreamt about. She missed her when she wasn't holding her hand. She felt happiest when Santana was in her arms, even if it was just them cuddling or sleeping or making out. She felt like she could stay there forever.
Was she a bad friend for ignoring Quinn when her best friend needed her? She entered the den and headed for the monster couch at the back of the room. It could comfortably fit two people laying next to each other. She carefully dropped Quinn onto the soft material and grabbed a pillow and blanket from the cabinet next to the couch. It was definitely not the first time that they'd slept on the couch. In fact, Brittany was fairly certain that she and Quinn had done more than sleep on that couch.
Hold up, Blondie. What the fuck?
Brittany shook herself. What the fuck indeed. Any past indiscretions were exactly that – in the past. She only had one person in her vision for her future; one person that she would give herself to completely for the rest of her life.
As she tucked her best friend in, she briefly wondered how the Brittany of three months ago would react to her complete devotion to one girl. Would she scoff at her? Would she play it off as a passing fantasy?
No, because even if the Brittany of three months ago had met Santana, she would have fallen in love just as quickly.
Brittany smiled and nodded to herself, fully agreeing with her conscience. There was no way in any life, in any reality, that she wouldn't fall hopelessly and completely in love with Santana Lopez.
She found herself totally accepting of that fact.
Brittany knelt down next to the couch and tucked stray pieces of pink hair behind Quinn's ear. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you today, Quinnie. I know that my life has pretty much become about Santana and I know that hurts you because you had that with Rachel, but part of me isn't sorry. I know that makes me sound like a bitch, but I can't be without her. You'll always be my best friend. We've been through way too much to not find a way to find a way around this, ok? I want you to know that I will find a way to be there for you and still be with Santana. I need both of you in my life." She leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Love you, Q."
She watched her for a few more moments before standing up and turning around. Santana was standing a few feet away, looking uncomfortable.
"Hey," Brittany said with a smile, walking up to the love of her life and slipping her arms around Santana's slim waist. "You ok?"
Santana rested her hands on Brittany's forearms and met her eyes uncertainly. The blonde frowned. She didn't want Santana to ever be uncertain.
"What is it?" she urged. "Please tell me."
Santana took a breath and lifted her hands, but their moment was interrupted by Victoria and Chris entering the den, talking quietly.
Brittany dropped her arms, but immediately found Santana's hand. "Night, guys," she said, heading out of the den. "I'm pretty sure Quinn will be out until morning."
Victoria nodded. "Sleep tight, Britt. And you too, Santana."
Brittany smiled and kissed her mom's cheek, doing the same to her dad. "Love you."
"Love you!" her parents chorused as the young lovers exited the room.
Nothing else was said until they reached Brittany's bedroom. Then, out of nowhere, Santana pounced on the blonde, kissing her feverishly. Brittany held her tightly and responded, their lips and tongues working together effortlessly to create the most pleasure that Brittany had pretty much ever experienced from a kiss.
But this felt like so much more than a kiss. Or several kisses. Whatever. It felt like Santana was trying to coax something out of her. Like she was trying to prove something. Brittany found herself falling onto her bed, her arms still full of Santana kissing the crap out of her. A moan rumbled in her throat uncontrollably. She couldn't stop everything she was feeling, which was even more amplified because Santana was kissing her. And kissing her like her life depended on it. The intensity of the kisses weren't surprising to Brittany – everything about their relationship had been intense thus far, but it felt like this was something more.
Brittany broke away purely to gasp for air. Santana had quickly become an expert in stealing every last breath she possessed. The Latina moved her lips across Brittany's cheek to her ear, tugging slightly on the lobe, eliciting a strangled moan from the blonde beneath her. Brittany's hands disappeared under Santana's hoodie and shirt, her short nails digging into the soft skin of her love's back.
Santana's lips continued her trail of hot, wet kisses down Brittany's neck, settling into the crook she loved so much and sucking hard.
"Oh, fuck!" Brittany moaned, her hips involuntarily canting upwards.
She could feel Santana's hand moving down her body and slipping underneath her shirt.
Oh my God.
Santana ran her hand across Brittany's stomach, letting it drift higher and higher. With some kind of higher power, Brittany managed to remove her hand from Santana's back and grab the Latina's wandering hand just before it reached her breast.
"Fuck," she breathed, closing her eyes.
She opened them when she felt Santana's lips leave her skin. There was that look of uncertainty again. Brittany frowned and sat them up gently. "What is it, baby?"
Santana dropped her gaze and her brow furrowed. Brittany tipped her chin up.
"I know someone's churning in that head of yours. Please talk to me."
The Latina sighed and rolled away, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. Brittany bit down her frustration at not being able to effectively communicate with Santana. She was a little gladdened when Santana rolled back into her arms and started typing quickly.
Those fingers…
Brittany shivered at the rogue thought and bit her lip. She would wait, but damn she knew it would be worth it. Santana turned her phone to Brittany once she'd done typing.
I heard what you said to Quinn. I know that you two have history and I know she's important to you. I guess I'm a little scared – ok, a LOT scared – that you're going to realise how difficult it is to be with me and just go back to her.
Brittany blinked in surprise. How could Santana possibly think that she would choose Quinn? She knew that the younger girl had her insecurities, but hadn't she done everything in her power to convince her that there was no one but her? Not ever?
Obviously not.
The blonde sighed and tossed the phone to one side, pulling Santana into her lap so that she was straddling her. A memory of that morning flashed through her mind as Santana's hands nervously came to rest on her shoulders.
"Santana, I'm sorry if I made you feel insecure about my relationship with Quinn. Please know that whatever messed up thing the two of us had is long over. It has been for a while. But it was never serious. It couldn't hold a candle to anything that I feel when I'm with you. Nothing and no one compares to you. And nothing or no one ever will. I told you earlier – you're it. I do love Quinn. She's my best friend. But I love her the same way I love my parents, the same way you love Shelby and Holly. I'm not in love with her." Brittany pulled her closer so that their chests were pressed tightly together. She could feel Santana's short breaths across her lips and it made her stomach clench in want. "I am, however, completely in love with you, Santana. I'm in love with you and only you. Forever. And nothing or no one can ever change that."
Santana's eyes flicked over her face and Brittany waited for a response. She let her hands slip under the hoodie and shirt that Santana was wearing and slowly trace the soft skin of her back. She made intricate patterns with her fingers while smiling softly at her love. She watched Santana swallow before leaning closer and kissing Brittany softly. The blonde reciprocated just as gently. The younger girl pulled away abruptly and bit her lip. Brittany just raised an eyebrow in curious question.
Santana pointed to herself and Brittany nodded. She dropped both hands and made a motion like she was pulling something towards her stomach. Brittany frowned in confusion, but Santana pointed to her.
I…something…you?
The Latina did it again and Brittany racked her brain to try and figure out what Santana could mean. Finally, after about the fifth try, Santana subtly rolled her hips against Brittany's as she signed the middle word. The blonde's eyes widened in realisation.
I want you.
She let a breath that she hadn't even realised she'd been holding. "Um…" she whispered. "I…I want you too, Santana. I do. So much. But I want us to be sure of what we're doing." She dug her fingers into Santana's back a little. "I mean, I know what we're doing, but I don't want us to rush." She met her eyes. "We have all the time in the world."
Santana nodded and leaned in for a kiss that turned heated in a matter of seconds. The Latina gripped Brittany's shirt and pulled her closer. She purposefully fell back onto the bed so that Brittany could be on top of her. The blonde groaned in pleasure. They were horizontal and she was pressed up against Santana in all the good ways. She never wanted to stop kissing the girl beneath her. It was addictive. This time, when Santana's hand disappeared underneath her shirt, she didn't stop the younger girl's explorations. She could feel a slight shake in the fingers that travelled over her skin, but she simply encouraged Santana with a smiling kiss.
Brittany broke away and groaned when she felt Santana rake her nails down her back.
Shit. I don't know what kind of history she has with girls, but God, she's doing everything right.
She made the sound again when Santana repeated the motion, obviously enjoying the response she was getting. Before she could stop herself, Brittany arched her back and ground her hips into Santana's. It felt blissful. The girl beneath her froze and Brittany quickly pushed herself up and off Santana's body, worried that she had pushed things a little too far. She swallowed at the sight of a heavy-breathing Santana beneath her. Her hair was played out and her lips were swollen. And – oh, God – she was biting down on that sexy bottom lip. Brittany felt that pull in her gut again and she closed her eyes, trying to will her arousal away.
Santana apparently had different ideas. She left one hand roaming Brittany's back and the other slipped out and settled itself quite comfortably on her ass. She applied a slight pressure down, causing Brittany's eyes to widen and meet decidedly dark ones looking up at her.
Fuck.
"S-San," Brittany stuttered, hating that a small movement from the girl she loved could make her hips rock again of their own accord. "Oh, God. San, if you carry on doing that, I'm not…I won't be able to…" Her voice trailed off and Santana took the opportunity to lean up and catch Brittany's lip in another kiss.
Within seconds, they were pressed tightly against each other again, Santana making sure that Brittany's core was snug against her thigh.
Jesus, how does she know this stuff?
As they kissed, Santana encouraged Brittany to rock against her, but the blonde did all that could to stop herself. She loved Santana so much and wanted so badly to give into her desire, but some logical part of her brain was continuously yelling at her to slow things down. Things had already progressed so quickly between them and she didn't want to ruin something that should be so incredibly special.
Fuck.
But Santana wasn't making this easy. She continued rocking her hips up into Brittany, causing her thigh to rub against that spot where the blonde was aching for relief. The worst part? She was so embarrassingly close. Already. She had no doubt that it had everything to do with the girl beneath her, but she didn't want to be the only one experiencing pleasure. She wanted to please Santana. She wanted to see that beautiful face contort as she came.
Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
That was obviously not the best thing to think about as Santana pushed Brittany hard against her, flicking her tongue against hers in the most delicious way, because it threw the blonde over the edge. She came suddenly and she came hard.
"Santana," she half-whispered, half-moaned, burying her face against her shoulder and her body shook with the force of her orgasm.
Well done, Pierce. Couldn't keep it in your pants for five minutes. I'm sure that she's super impressed with your prowess now.
Shit. What had she done? She couldn't even remember the last time she'd come – let alone come so fucking hard – from just grinding.
"I'm sorry," she whispered into Santana's neck. "I didn't…it just happened."
She felt sporadic twitches as she tried to control her breathing. It wasn't really easy when Santana's hands were still roaming across her back and ass.
Shit. Now what? Do I return the favour? How? Do we just grind? Should I undress her? Go down on her?
She shivered at the thought of going down on Santana. She was pretty sure that it would be the most awesome thing ever.
Santana was trying to wriggle away.
There you go. You scared her. Bravo.
She'd never blown her load, so speak, so quickly before. She was known – well known – for her stamina. And she could normally go for hours.
Well, maybe that's because Santana could probably make you come if she looked at you with those sexy as fuck bedroom eyes.
Brittany had to concede the possibility. She had no doubt that Santana could, and probably would, elicit reactions from her body that she had no preparation for or control over. She slid off Santana, hiding her face in the sheets in shame. She'd never felt more embarrassed in her life.
She expected Santana to get off the bed or something. She didn't expect her to drape herself across Brittany's back and give her soft kisses across her shirt-clad back.
She slowly turned and Santana lifted her body, settling back down on Brittany's chest once they could see each other. Nervously, the blonde met dark eyes that were still darker than usual, if that were possible. But to her surprise, Santana wore a contented smile.
"Um…"
Santana lifted a hand and traced Brittany's face tenderly. It rendered her speechless. Hesitantly, Brittany put one hand on Santana's hip and traced her love's face with the other in turn. They spent a few minutes just looking at each other, Santana's eyes filled with nothing but love and affection. Brittany felt kind of silly for freaking out. But it was a little weird, right? She'd been grinding against her girlfriend or whatever – seriously need to rectify that – and come harder than she could actually ever remember.
You ok? Santana mouthed.
Brittany let out a scoffed laugh and shut her eyes. "Honestly? Physically, I feel amazing because…wow. But…I mean, I wanted to wait a little longer and now I don't know if I should ask you if you want me to do the same to you. Even though I would absolutely in a heartbeat, I don't want to pressure you because this is a really big deal and-"
Santana cut her off with a kiss. Brittany hummed in relief at the familiarity of the pouty lips against hers. Maybe she hadn't completely screwed things up.
"I'm sorry," she whispered again once Santana pulled back.
The Latina smiled and shook her head. She fanned her face and winked at Brittany. The blonde blushed deeply.
"Yeah, well, it's what you do to me," she mumbled, her hands fiddling with the bottom of Santana's hoodie. Well, her hoodie. It looked so much better on Santana anyway. She lifted her gaze and met her love's. "No one's ever made me feel that good," she whispered.
Santana's eyebrows shot up, clearly surprised. Brittany smiled shyly and shrugged. Then Santana's face broke into a big smile and she leaned in for a kiss.
"Wanna cuddle and watch a movie?" Brittany asked when they broke apart.
She received a nod and bit her lip when Santana sat up and pulled her hoodie off. Her shirt rode up and Brittany gulped.
Old grannies, dead animals – ew – ugh, Puck kissing Finn.
She physically pulled a face at the last mental though, but it curbed her spiked arousal. Thankfully. Santana was just too damn sexy for her own good. And the best part? She had no idea how gorgeous, sexy and alluring she truly was. Brittany smiled to herself as she thought of the many ways that she would eventually be able to show Santana just how beautiful she was.
Brittany scooted back against the pillows and grabbed the remote, pushing a button to lower the TV. Santana was already at her DVD case, picking out a few movies. When she proudly presented her choices to Brittany, the blonde laughed. Animated movies. Perfect.
"Just when I think I can't fall more in love with you, you do something so completely adorable and I'm a total goner," she murmured, picking out Ice Age 4.
Santana bit her lip and blushed, spinning cutely on her heel and depositing the other movies in their respective slots. Brittany stood up to pop the DVD in and grabbed some water from her fridge before heading back to bed. There was no pretence this time as the two girls snuggled very closely to each other and waited for the movie to start.
"Love you," Brittany whispered against Santana's hair.
The Latina turned in her arms and kissed her, parting only slightly to silently murmur words against Brittany's lips.
I love you too.
It made Brittany grin and Santana dropped her head back to its resting place on Brittany's chest. Apparently her boob made an excellent pillow.
Their days slowly wound down as the movie played, their bodies shaking slightly with laughter every now and then. It had been a difficult day, but Brittany was thankful that Santana was still in her arms at the end of everything. And no matter what else they encountered, she wanted every day to end like this.
A/N: It may seem that things are progressing unusually quickly, but I'd like to think that this is a serious case of love at first sight. Plus, there are other factors at play. Even if some things don't make sense now, the sequel is going to be from Santana's point of view, where everything will be revealed. Not sure how many more chapters this fic will be, but it won't be as many as my other fics. This one will end just after the winter showcase.
Read these: Paperweight by heyho, Freaking Super by LateInLifeTiburon and Welcome To Cincinnati by Mellowslinky. You know, if you want, of course :)
Much love for the support, my fellow Gleeks.
Onward and up!
-H
Tumblr, Twitter and Ask – hlnwst