Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Marvel or the characters therein. Nor, sadly, do I make any moneys from the posting of this fanfiction.

How to make intro to oneshots—take one-part dry wit, two-parts desperation to have people review, and five parts silliness; stir until well combined and tell everyone to enjoy! Enjoy.

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The Hostage

Sitting silently, Hermione listened to the men walking around the bank with weapons in hands. She had gone to the bank with the idea of getting her chores done early in order to pull together a special meal that night. She had no sooner stepped into the bank when the robbers made themselves known. Looking at the clock, she wondered not for the first time if this event was going to keep her from doing as she had wanted. It was James's night off and it had been a time and a half since they had time alone.

"You! Why keep looking at the clock and sighing like that?" one of the robbers asked.

She looked around and back over to the man who had spoken. "Me?"

"Yeah, you!"

"This is the first night in quite a long time that my husband has had a night off," she told him. "I was planning a special dinner and I was wondering if this robbery…This is a robbery, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he snarled.

"Okay," she murmured. "And you've been in here for about ten minutes, correct?"

"More like fifteen," another one of the hostages said, fear making her voice tremble.

"Thank you," Hermione told them. "Fifteen minutes and I told my husband that I shouldn't take longer than five, as all I was doing was taking care of some paperwork with the bank." The lights went out plunging them into darkness. "It's too soon for the FBI to be here already." She looked to the three men who were robbing the bank. "True, it could be the local L.E.O.s, but given everything…I don't know."

"What do you mean?!" one of the robbers demanded of her, sounding more like a kid than a man.

"Yes, it could be the police, but they tend to leave bank robberies to the federal officers. Meaning they wouldn't have turned off the power until the F.B.I arrived and it would have taken them another ten to fifteen minutes at least to pull themselves together and get here. Which leaves the question, who turned off the power?"

"She's just messing with our minds!" the third man snapped. "You shut up!"

"I was only answering his question," she murmured just as there was a crack of thunder shaking the ground. "How odd. Thunder on a clear day." She shrugged. "It's probably one of those anomalies that one hears about on those shows everyone calls daft." There was another stronger crack that had the windows shaking as well. "Or it could be Thor. One never knows these…"

"Thor?! Are you shitting me?!" the second robber exclaimed.

"One never shits about the god of thunder," she answered soberly.

"What the fuck, man!" The first robber screamed at the third. "I thought you said that this would be a breeze!"

"Robbing a bank in the middle of a working day in New York?" Hermione breathed, looking at the three in shock. "If that was all, you all would still be thought of as dimwitted. But you're in the Stark Building and you don't expect the Avengers to protect it?" That gained more than a few chuckles, even from the robbers themselves.

"Yeah, this is not the best plan," the second robber said to the other two.

"This is bullshit! My plan was working until her!" the third robber yelled, pointing to Hermione.

But just as he was about to charge over to her, the ceiling panels above them popped out and five men dropped down on ropes. With guns aimed at the robbers, they descended to the ground. The biggest of the five was none other than the Winter Soldier. Hermione was smiling, as she got to her feet.

Smiling at him, she asked, "Got my back?"

"Always," he told her.

Her grin broadened, as she went over to the third robber and kicked him squarely in the nuts. Gasping in pain, he fell to the ground even as Hermione went back over to James. Hugging her husband, she sighed, "I'm sorry you had to work on your day off." Lifting her head to look up at him. "That being said dinner might be a bit late tonight."

He rubbed her back. "Why did you kick that guy?"

"He was an idiot."

"Good of a reason as any other," came from Sam, as he joined them along with Steve and Tony.

"I thought you two had the day off," he said, looking to the two of them.

"We do," she said, glaring at the man that was currently being arrested. "Some fool had an idea that robbing the bank in your building in the middle of a work day was a sound notion."

Tony snorted at that. "He's an idiot."

"I agree." Turning to James she murmured, "Do you have tomorrow off too?"

"I do."

Smiling flirtatiously, she asked, "Want to go camping at that hotel you told me about?"

"Sounds like a plan, sweetheart," he whispered. "Do you still need to take care of anything here?"

"Oh the paperwork for my new accounts," she muttered, spotting the manager of the bank. "Let me take care of this and then we can go."

She rushed off and the Winter Soldier turned his icy gaze onto the man she had kicked. Moving slowly he didn't stop until he was face to face with the man. Shaking with fear the young man now without his face mask on, was sweating bullets and looking about ready to throw up.

"My wife isn't prone to violence," he said, his voice low and gravelly as he spoke. "Which makes me think that something happened before we came in here. Did you threaten her?"

"N-No!" he stammered. "No! I didn't! I swear!"

"He blamed her for what went wrong with the robbery," an elderly woman spoke up. "And it looked like he was about to hurt her when you dropped in when you did."

"Thank you, ma'am," he said quietly. "You were going to hurt my wife?"

The young man said nothing, but burst into tears. Shaking his head, Bucky walked away to where Hermione was speaking to the bank manager. She was just finishing up her business when he joined them.

"Ready?" he asked quietly.

Frowning she asked, "Is that robber crying?"

"Yes."

Frowning she looked over to the bank manager, saying, "I want to change banks." She looked over to where Tony was. "Tony! I think it was an inside job!"

Startled, he walked over and asked, "Why?"

She nodded towards the weeping bank robber. "That is no mastermind."

He looked over and murmured, "Yeah, not so much."

A young man charged into the bank, looking frantic. But the moment he saw the bank manager, he frowned. This was something that wasn't missed by any of them.

Hermione went over to the crying bank robber along with James. "You know if you tell us who was the inside man, you'll be looking at a lesser sentence."

Sniffling he said nothing.

"You didn't kill anyone," Hermione pointed out to him. "Unlike what the person may have wanted…" The robber looked at her startled. "If you had done so, you would be looking at life in prison or even the death penalty. Instead, you're looking at time for an attempt at robbing a bank and attempted homicide. Oh yes, and conspiracy to commit both crimes as well. All those charges still amount to more than a few years behind bars, but it sure as hell doesn't add up to the same time you'd be looking at for murder in the first degree…"

"It wasn't going to be that!" one of the other robbers said sounding panicked.

"Murder in the first degree is the premeditated homicide of a person. Meaning they planned it before hand, went into it knowing what was going to happen, and had the weapons with them going into it." She went over to the other robber. "That means that you and your other friend…" She waved to the other robber. "…would have been an accomplice and would have been charged with the same life sentence or death penalty regardless of you actually pulling the trigger or not."

Shock and dismay covered the other two robbers' faces, turning to look angrily over to the third.

"You asshole!" the first snapped. "You would do that, wouldn't you?!"

It was the second robber that said, "It was his idea to hit this bank, because his old college roommate told him that it was an easy snatch and grab." He looked to the bank manager, telling him, "Your kid's an idiot that wants his inheritance now, pops. You better get someone to watch your back…"

"You can't believe…"

Tony let out a whistle looking at his phone. "You're that much in debt?"

The bank manager looked to his son in shock. The younger man began to back away, turned, and tried to make a run for it. Unfortunately for him, Hermione was well aware that he was going to try to do as much. Putting out a leg, she tripped him before he got more than five feet away.

"What was that?" Tony asked her. "Why not use the hocus pocus?"

"Sometimes the best plan is the simplest," she replied, wrapping her arm around her husband's offered one. "Until later."

And with that they walked away. It was their day off, after all.

TBC…

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Another oneshot is away! Thanks for reading and I hope that you're all having a splendid day.