I got up very early this morning because I had a horrible dream. Donna was there, and we were fighting, and she left me. I can't let that happened. To calm down, I went for a swim. I ran down to the beach, there was no one there yet. Also, who would be there it was 6 a.m. Swimming was good for me, and the water was cold and I partly forgot why I was here.
Of course, I hadn't slept for too long, I couldn't, my thoughts were stronger. I was getting ready for breakfast when I heard from the next room: "Goddamn Shit!" I heard Harvey for a little while, but what would he do here, away from work and, most importantly, why would he scream? I don't have to panic right now. It doesn't seem like it, but when you think about someone, then you see him and you hear him everywhere. I really should stop thinking about him, but I can't. I have to admit, I've been in love with him for a very long time. I had a few boyfriends, but I always broke up with them because I couldn't get over the fact that they weren't Harvey. Where have I come from? Now I'm sitting on the bed crying again. What am I going to do? They say time heals wounds, but I don't think anymore.
"Goddamn shit!" I yelled I can't handle this. I've never been so out of touch. Last night, Paula texted me where I am. I can't believe she didn't understand that I broke up with her. And I don't understand myself either, why I was with her? I'm totally blind. I never dared to tell Donna how I feel about her. I was afraid of losing our friendship and losing her. But it's actually worked out the same way now, I hope we can put it back. But I don't want to put it back, why should I. I want to tell her how I feel! But how?
"Hi Rachel, I know that you haven't heard from me since I got here, but I'm calling now. How are you? Is everything good at work?"
''Oh Donna, don't worry, everything's fine here, but that's not why you're calling. I hope you can finally tell me what happened?" It's difficult at work, but why I should tell her when she's having a hard time.
''I kissed him and then I ran away. I don't know what I was thinking."
''Who? Oh, of course, Harvey."
''Who else, right?" I laughed myself.
"Donna, I don't know what to say. Why now?"
''Louis was talking about how his soul mate was marrying someone else, and then I didn't think anymore."
''What did he say?"
''Nothing, before he could say anything, I ran away. What should I do now?"
''Well, you probably should have waited to see what he would say first, but now he has to let it go through his mind as much as you do. You two have a great friendship, you can do it, no matter how it turns out."
''Thank you so much, Rachel, I don't know what I'd do without you."
''You're welcome, this is what best friends do. If anything, call. And be cool, it'll calm down."
When I finished talking to Rachel, I was fairly calm, so I thought I'd go out for breakfast because otherwise, I'd starve to death. As I came out, I crashed into someone. "I'm sorry" he apologized, the one I suddenly crashed into. I recognized the voice immediately. "Harvey?!" I really didn't expect this.
''Donna?"
''What are you doing here?" I asked.
''That's what I'd like to ask you?"
''Not seriously, what are you doing here? You've never had a vacation."
''I can say that too, you only go to see your parents on holidays."
I didn't know what to say.
''I guess I wanted to be alone and sort out what happened." He pointed between us.
''If you excuse me." I crawled quickly into the room, never having thought of eating again. I leaned against the door. What just happened? I'm going away from the firm so I don't have him in my sight and then this.
When I apologized and saw who I bumped into. I couldn't believe my eyes. Donna. First, we had a polite conversation before I said I was here to be alone and process what happened. That look on her face when I said it, it was like she expected me to say something else, but I wasn't ready. I was thinking that we could have breakfast and talk, but in that she apologised and left quickly. I don't blame her, I was taken aback, too. I really didn't expect this. It was obvious that neither of us wanted to say anything that might hurt even more, but it's clear that we still need to talk about it.