A/N: You guys are truly amazing. I hope that with all the shit going on with Glee and Naya that the Brittana fandom will continue to grow through fanfiction.
I'm so glad everyone enjoyed the ties to A Language of Flowers last chapter :) It was definitely one of my absolute favourite chapters that I've written for any story :)
We're delving into serious territory a bit here...
-H
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee :(
CHAPTER 13: Around the bend & on the mend
The two lovebirds spent a quiet, uneventful weekend at Brittany's house in anticipation for the very active week ahead of them. After reading Santana's beautiful letter, the blonde had turned and kissed her with every ounce of strength that she had. She was very tempted to show her girlfriend how much she appreciated her and everything she did, and she came very close to slipping her fingers under the cotton fabric of Santana's pants. She pulled back at the last minute, remembering her whole plan of making their first time so very special.
That hadn't made moving her hand away very easy. She wanted nothing more than to feel every single beautiful part of Santana Lopez. She wanted to know what made her feel the best kind of pleasure known to humankind, and she wanted to be the only one who ever gave it to her.
She saw that Santana had been slightly disappointed, clearly wanting Brittany to make her feel that pleasure almost as much as Brittany wanted to give it to her. After staring at each other for a few minutes, they just snuggled together, keeping their hands in visible places.
Quinn, Rachel and Brittany's parents stopped by a few times to say hi and check in, but for the most part, Santana and Brittany just co-habited the blonde's bedroom in a quiet comfort. They did some homework, practised more sign language and made out a lot. A lot. Brittany wasn't shy to admit that she was so attracted to Santana. While their love was the strongest thing that she'd ever felt, she physically wanted her girlfriend more than she'd ever wanted anyone before. Every emotion that ran through her body was heightened with everything she felt for her beautiful Santana Strawberry.
She hoped that it would never go away.
They woke up on Monday morning tangled in each other as usual. Brittany had taken the strapping off her knee the night before to give her skin some breathing room. She was on her back, Santana draped over her, her head resting easily on her collarbone. Brittany smiled and took a moment to appreciate how perfect her life was. She had the most wonderful girl in her arms, her school year was still on track and she was about to start physio with Holly – the coolest aunt on the planet.
She felt Santana inhale deeply as she stirred from slumber, turning her face into Brittany's neck. It sent a slight shiver through the blonde. She loved the sensation and she would never get tired of it.
Brittany smiled to herself. She knew Santana was awake. Her breathing pattern wasn't as deep and her fingers had started lightly tracing the skin of her stomach. Yeah, her girl loved her abs. She wasn't complaining. Any part of her body that Santana wanted to touch, she was happy to give her free reign.
Her alarm started chiming and Brittany groaned quietly, reaching with the hand that wasn't wrapped around her girlfriend to shut it off. When she settled back against the pillows, Santana's lips pressed soft kisses against her neck.
"Morning, love," she murmured.
Santana's hand moved from under Brittany's shirt to her cheek, angling her face downwards so that she could join their lips in a tender good morning kiss.
"It just became a good morning," Brittany teased when they broke apart.
Santana flushed and buried her face against the blonde's neck. Brittany sighed happily and used both arms to hold the love of her life close to her.
"I could so happily do this every morning for the rest of my life," she whispered.
Santana nodded into her neck. They lay quietly for a while until Santana's alarm went off, making Brittany groan again. They had purposefully set the brunette's alarm a few minutes after Brittany's because they both knew they'd get carried away with their morning snuggles.
Shower? Santana signed.
Brittany hummed in reply and tested the flexibility of her knew. Luckily, it wasn't too stiff. The bruising was still very prominent, but she knew that would fade. It was the damage under the surface that would be telling.
She decided not to dwell on it, though. Holly came highly recommended. Dr. Langdon had been very happy when she'd heard that Brittany was going to see her. Not that she'd ever doubt Santana's aunt. Holly may be the most unorthodox everything she'd ever come across, but she had no doubt that she would be able to get her on the quickest road to recovery.
Santana disengaged her body from Brittany, who immediately pouted at the loss. The brunette simply moved to the edge of the bed, pulling her tank top off. Brittany's mouth dropped open.
"So hot," she murmured, her eyes darting all over the naked caramel skin. Her throat suddenly felt drier than the Sahara Desert. She followed the very definition of perfection as she walked around the bed and towards the bathroom. Not four seconds later, Santana's pants were thrown through the open door. It was all the incentive that Brittany needed to clamber out from under the covers and half hop, half skip into the bathroom.
Brittany smiled at another student greeting her and wishing her a quick recovery. It had been like that the moment Santana had pulled into the parking lot. Her girlfriend hadn't left her side. It made Brittany's butterflies very happy.
"Sup, cripple," Quinn greeted with her usual smirk.
Brittany rolled her eyes and caught sight of Santana's glare directed at her best friend. She squeezed her hand.
It's okay, she signed.
Santana sighed and gave a nod, but she still eyed Quinn warily.
"Did I miss something?"
"Just the memo that you're a ho-bag," Brittany replied with a wink.
"And she's back!" Quinn announced. They hugged briefly, but Brittany didn't let go of Santana's hand. "This place has been a total bore without you," Quinn continued. "I swear that people thought you'd like, died or something."
Brittany felt Santana stiffen.
"Smooth, Q," she shot at her best friend, complete with a sharp glare.
"Crap, sorry, Santana. I really didn't mean it like that," Quinn mumbled, looking very apologetic.
The brunette just nodded and looked down.
"See you later," Brittany said, pulling Santana quickly towards the music wing. It was closest to the academic wing. They walked into Santana's special room and Brittany pulled her girlfriend into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, baby. She really doesn't think sometimes. Actually, a lot of the time."
Santana nodded against Brittany's neck, but didn't let go. When she did, she shakily lifted her hands and started to sign.
It's hard for me to think about. I know it's difficult for you to understand because I haven't told you anything, but it is hard.
"Baby, I do understand," Brittany said softly, resting their foreheads together. "I mean, I may not know what it feels like, but I understand that you have your reasons for not telling me. I accept that. I will never, ever push you into telling me something about your past that you're not ready to divulge." She leaned down to kiss Santana's cheek three times. "We have the rest of our lives together, San. I'll wait forever if that's what you need me to do."
Santana lifted her head and it hurt Brittany's heart to see unshed tears brimming in the beautiful dark orbs that she loved so much.
I want to tell you, I do. It just hurts.
Brittany nodded and pulled Santana back into her arms, holding her tightly. She wished that she could make the bad things that hurt her love go away, just disappear. But life wasn't that easy. Both of them knew that. The bell rang shortly, jerking them slightly, but they didn't move. Santana still kept her head buried against Brittany's shirt, her left hand fisting it to keep her close.
"Baby, we can stay here for a few more minutes, but then we have to go," Brittany whispered.
Santana nodded and the blonde smiled, kissing her head and slightly rocking them. She started humming their melody and guiding them into a very slow and simple waltz. The steps were tiny so they moved within a small space. It seemed to do the trick, though, and Santana relaxed in Brittany's secure embrace.
"I will always be here," she whispered against Santana's hair. "There is nowhere in the world that I would rather be than by your side."
"Wonderful," Santana breathed into her ear, standing on her tiptoes.
Brittany's heart started pounding, but she tried to hide her excitement. She pulled back slightly and looked down into her girlfriend's gorgeous brown eyes.
"Only for you, San. You make me wonderful and I want to be all that and more for you."
You are, Santana mouthed.
Good, Brittany mouthed back. She grinned and leaned down for a soft kiss. After a few seconds, she pulled away, indicating with her head that they should head to their class. Santana nodded and stepped back, keeping her right hand locked with the blonde's.
Brittany was glad that she'd taken the time to memorise Santana's academic schedule. She never, not in a million years, ever wanted her love to experience anything like that again. If, for whatever reason, she couldn't meet Santana outside every class herself, Quinn went in her stead, which she had done so very diligently when Britany had been bed-ridden.
"Enjoy Physics, baby," Brittany whispered to her as they approached the door to Santana's classroom. "I'll see you just after the bell, okay?"
Santana nodded and kissed her one more time before stepping into the room. She managed to send one last wink to her girlfriend before the door shut. That wink made Brittany grin stupidly at the closed door before she sighed audibly and headed for her own class that she was already late for.
Brittany was brought out of her humming by Santana tugging on her sleeve. She looked down and smiled at the most beautiful girl in the world.
"What's up, sexy?"
Santana rolled her eyes and glanced around before guiding them to the wall, out of the student traffic as they headed to their final class before lunch.
I have a meeting with Will at lunch, she signed. I'll make sure I find you before you leave with Holly, though.
"Okay, babe," Brittany replied easily. Whatever Santana needed to do, she didn't question. She hardly had any reason to, after all. "I'll hang out with Quinn in the cafeteria. If you get done early, I'll be there."
Santana nodded and slipped her hand around Brittany's neck, bringing her face downwards. The blonde rested her free hand – the one not entwined with her girlfriend's – on Santana's waist and let the rest of the world fade away as they lost each other in their kisses.
"Oh, barf," a familiar voice sneered.
Brittany snapped her head up, the sudden movement clearly catching Santana by surprise.
"What the fuck do you want?" the blonde asked through gritted teeth, gently pushing Santana behind her.
"Just wondering how you can feel no guilt at all over what you did to Puck," the girl replied, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
"Hey, beat it, skank," Quinn said, materialising next to Brittany. "Nobody needs you to spread your poison around people who actually have souls."
"How very rich coming from you, Fabgay."
"You need to turn around and head back to the fiery pit of hell you call a music room, you talentless hack," Quinn snapped. "I won't think twice about cutting you down to size."
"Whatever. Britt may be the top dog around here now, but next year, she'll be gone and I'll rule the roost."
"You can do whatever the hell you like, Kitty," Brittany replied, trying to remain calm. She could feel the tension in Santana's grip on the back of her shirt. "I don't care anymore. I have way more important things to worry about."
"Like your retarded girlfriend?" Kitty replied with an arrogant sneer.
Brittany saw red, but it faded to pink pretty quickly as Quinn stepped in front of her and violently pushed Kitty backwards. Gasps echoed around the hallway as all the students stopped and stared.
"You're gonna pay for that," Kitty hissed, standing up straight and brushing imaginary dirt from her shoulder.
"With what? Your daddy's drug money? Or maybe he's sniffed it all away already."
"Q," Brittany warned, placing a restraining hand on her best friend's forearm.
Quinn deflated slightly. "Consider this your very, very lucky day, Kitty-Kat. I would be very careful about what you say the next time you're in our vicinity."
Kitty scoffed and spun on her heel. Brittany breathed a sigh of relief. Immediately, she turned and put her arms around Santana.
"Baby?" she asked quietly.
Santana just looked up at her with concern. Are you okay?
"Me? I'm fine. A little relieved that Quinn stepped in front of me there, otherwise PETA would've been all over my ass."
The younger girl's brow furrowed in confusion.
Brittany winked. "Isn't that who normally gets all irritated when you kill kitties?"
Her lame joke got her girlfriend to smile and even giggle a little, which made her grin. She kissed Santana's forehead.
"You'll let me know if she gives you any issues, right?"
We're not in the same department. She does dance.
"I know," Brittany muttered, wrapping her arm around Santana's waist and guiding them towards their last classes. "She's been trying to get all my solos since she got here. She's good, I guess. Her arrogance isn't helping her dancing, though. If anything, it's hindering it."
Don't worry about her. You're the best dancer I've ever seen.
"Thanks, baby," Brittany cooed, peppering Santana's cheek with light kisses.
"Get a room," Quinn teased from the other side of Brittany.
"We have a perfectly comfortable room at my house, thank you very much," Brittany retorted with a smile. "And even though I've never been there before, I'm sure Santana's room is just as comfortable."
Not really, Santana signed.
Brittany kissed her cheek again, delighting in how the skin warmed against her lips. "No matter, San. As long as I'm with you, I'll be the happiest dancer on the planet."
"You guys are really vomit-inducingly sweet."
Was that a compliment? Santana asked.
The tall blonde glanced down the unfamiliar hallways, searching for any kind of sign that she was in the right place.
"Holy hell, did they design this place in Houdini's mind?" she muttered to herself.
"Holly?"
She turned to the owner of the voice. "Rachel, if my memory serves me correctly?"
The small brunette nodded and smiled. "Are you looking for Santana? I'm pretty sure she's with Brittany."
Holly smiled. She knew that at any other time, she was sure she'd find her niece in that exact spot, but Santana had been explicit that she come to the school during lunch instead of afterwards, as had been the initial arrangement.
"I am looking for my little firecracker. She said that I should go to Will's office, but I have to admit that my direction lacks…well, direction."
Rachel chuckled. "No problem. I'll show you the way."
"I thought you'd never offer," Holly teased with a wink.
As they walked down the hallway, she looked at the different portraits adorning the walls. She stopped short at a new portrait of a familiar blonde. In the background, her niece sat at the piano, a look of wonder on her face. Similarly, Brittany's eyes were not focused on the crowd or on her own steps, but on the girl at the piano. It made her smile.
"Oh, I haven't seen this one," Rachel murmured next to her.
"This is from Santana's first day, if her recollection is accurate. Santana told me the whole story about how she played one of her compositions and then, how she accompanied the most beautiful dancer she'd ever seen without even rehearsing."
"Wow," Rachel whispered. "Britt's mentioned how they met, but I had no idea it was that…sudden."
Holly lifted a shoulder and smiled at the memory of Brittany dancing with Santana on their front lawn not too long ago. "When you know, you know, kiddo."
Rachel just hummed. "Shall we continue?"
"We shall," Holly confirmed.
Two turns later, they approached a glass office. Santana was sitting outside, her knee bouncing nervously. Holly frowned. Her niece hadn't mentioned anything about why she was there early. She'd been strictly instructed not to mention it to Shelby either, which Holly was reluctant to do considering her partner's excessive protectiveness over Santana. Then again, since she'd realised what Brittany did for Santana, she'd stepped back a little.
Only a little, though. But it was progress.
"Heya, sweet cheeks," Holly called to Santana. "Thanks, Rachel. See you round."
Rachel lifted a hand to both of them in greeting and went on her way. Holly turned her attention back to her niece, who had a very determined look on her face, even though her hands were shaking slightly from nerves.
Holly had a special relationship with Santana. She'd been the first person that Santana had confided in about her appreciation of girls. Naturally, Holly could relate. She was going on ten years with Shelby and although her partner sometimes drove her up the wall, she truly loved her. And she knew that Shelby loved her back just as much.
She had always been a very open person, which was probably why Santana always went to her first with something that she wasn't sure of – girl issues, school issues, even music issues.
"Where's your other half?" she asked, looking around and expecting Brittany to pop up somewhere.
She's at lunch. I don't want to tell her what's going to happen just yet. She knows that it's a plan in motion, but I have to carry out the plan first, Santana replied in rapid sign language. She did that when she was nervous.
"Do I need to be worried?" Holly asked carefully. "You two haven't left each other's side unless it was absolutely necessary, and definitely not when you're in the same building." She held up a hand. "You know that I don't think it's unhealthy or anything, right? I get how you need to be in the same space as much as possible."
Santana nodded and smiled. You don't need to be worried, she signed. I just need someone who knows me and won't jump to conclusions when they find out what I'm doing.
Holly arched an eyebrow. "You know I trust you, sweet cheeks, so I'll play your game. You're not selling me down the river, are you? I know that you've been secretly after my money for years, but if you're gonna off me n-"
Santana snapped her fingers and grinned, shaking her head.
Holly winked. "Just had to make sure. Teenagers are unpredictable and all that crap."
Her niece chuckled and rolled her eyes. She turned and knocked twice on the office door of one Director Will Schuester.
"Ah, Santana!" a man with ridiculously curly hair said, opening the door. "And you must be her guardian?"
"One of," Holly replied, shaking the hand offered. "Santana, as sweet and innocent as she may seem, is actually a terror and requires two women fully trained in several forms of martial arts to sufficiently handle her."
Will stared at her in disbelief and Santana flicked her eyebrow. Holly eventually burst out laughing. "Gotcha, Butt Chin. You shoulda seen your face, though. Totally priceless."
The director managed a weak laugh before stepping aside and allowing the two of them inside. Holly and Santana sat next to each other on a couch and Will sat opposite them on a chair.
"So, Santana, you mentioned that there was something very important that you needed to discuss?"
Holly glanced at her niece, getting the nod that she needed to begin translating. "Yes," she interpreted as Santana's hands moved. "Last week, we spoke very briefly about this, but I need to make sure that it becomes a reality as soon as possible. I don't want to wait too late."
When she dropped her hands back into her lap, Holly glanced at the director, who was nodding. "What do you need from my side, Santana? I think that you definitely have a good chance of graduating early-"
Butt Chin say what?
"-but that does depend on what exactly you plan to do for your final showcase."
Santana lifted her hands again and Holly, thoughts racing around in her head, tried to still them as she translated, "I have been working on something over the last two weeks and I am confident that I can compose a symphony for the orchestra to perform."
What the hell? That is an insane workload.
"Are you certain, Santana?" Will asked. "I'm happy to do what I can, but this is a big risk that I am taking. I have no doubt in your talent, but the final showcase is in June. Will you truly be able to compose and rehearse with the orchestra – bearing in mind that many of them will have their own showcase pieces to work on?"
Santana nodded firmly. "I have never wanted anything more that I want this. I am so appreciative of what you've already done for me by finding me and bringing me to this wonderful school. I thought music was my life and while it still is a huge part, I have found something even more magical."
Will nodded in understanding. "Brittany will be going to New York, despite her injury." He turned to Holly and addressed her directly, "I believe you are going to be in charge of Brittany's physiotherapy?"
"Yes," Holly replied. "I have had patients with sports injuries and I also have a degree in psychology so I know how to handle their recovery in all facets."
"That is really good to hear. Brittany is a unique star. She has all the makings of a true performer, most importantly, the drive."
"I agree," Holly said for Santana. "I was hoping that you could make arrangements with the New York Philharmonic Orchestra that someone attend the final showcase. I've always wanted to work with a full philharmonic orchestra."
"Boston is just as good," Will hinted. "And there's also the opportunity to work on films and TV if you consider Los Angeles. Their philharmonic orchestra is also very good."
"New York," Holly said firmly, accentuating Santana's hard signs.
Will smiled. "I'm just providing alternatives, Santana. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't. I will get into contact with my friend down in New York. If she knows of any other potential opportunities for you there, I'll ask her to keep my informed." She clasped his hands together. "I should advise that I will need to get approval from the board for this. You are a junior and we spent a great deal of time and money head-hunting for someone as talented as you are. I'm not trying to discourage you in any way, Santana, so please don't think that I am. I believe that you will create astounding music wherever you may be, no matter how old you are."
Holly spoke up, "Hold up. So the board could actually turn around and say that she can't graduate early if they think she hasn't paid her dues?"
Will lifted a shoulder. "This isn't something we've dealt with before. A student hasn't ever requested to graduate early. Various companies have approached us about hiring students once they've graduated and, on rare occasions, someone has left the Academy early to go and work for such companies."
Holly waved her hand dismissively. "Wading through all that mumbo jumbo, a simple yes or no?"
"I can't give you a black or white answer," Will replied. "I wish I could, but the board funds this school and they are entitled to weigh in on students requesting early graduation."
Holly rolled her eyes.
"Ms. Corcoran-"
"Ms. Holliday, actually. Ms. Corcoran is my partner and Santana's biological aunt."
"Oh, my apologies."
Santana started signing. "In your opinion, would the board revoke my request?"
Will sighed. "Honestly? I don't think they would. Sue supports you, as you know, and I will fight for your request to be accepted by the board. You have my word on that."
"Okay," Holly said, nodding. "When do you think you'll have an answer?"
"Well, first I'll need to garner interest in people coming to see Santana in the final showcase – which I don't foresee being a problem. Our name is very reputable. Once I can provide the board with proof that companies are interested, they'll be more likely to agree."
"Excellent," Holly said with a smile. "If you need anything else from our side, just let us know."
"Absolutely."
Holly stood up. "Thank you, Will. We appreciate your support on this."
Will nodded and opened the door for them. Holly strode through, hearing Santana's meek footsteps behind her. She walked a few metres away from the office before she stopped walking and closed her eyes, taking in three deep breaths. She turned around. Santana was standing with her eyes cast downwards, hands clasped behind her back. It was her classic guilty stance.
"Santana," she began softly.
Brown eyes shot up pleadingly.
"It's not that I don't support you," Holly said quickly. "You know that I do, and if you want to follow Brittany to New York, I won't ever stop you because you'll just find a way to go anyway."
Are you mad? Santana signed.
"That you blindsided me? Yes. I would have liked some forewarning that you were even thinking about this. I mean, this is a huge undertaking. A whole symphony? Do you really think that you're going to be able to pull that off? Not to embody the bad omen, but this isn't exactly the best time of year for you. You struggle to just sit down and play, never mind compose."
She didn't want to be blunt about it, but she needed to be sure that her niece had fully thought through all the repercussions of her decision.
I know. Santana's signing was urgent, like she needed Holly to believe her. It's already started. But she makes it better. She makes it bearable. She makes me feel like I can actually get through Thanksgiving without losing it like I usually do.
Holly sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I know she's good for you. Anyone with half a brain cell can see that. But San, are you even sure that Brittany can graduate this year? I mean, her injury could-"
Santana stomped her foot and glared at Holly. It was her way of interrupting. The blonde sighed again, this time in frustration.
"You can't throw a tantrum every time Shelby or I want to inject some reality into your fairytale," she said firmly. "I'm as romantic as the next girl and I do think that you've found your penguin."
Strawberry, Santana signed.
Holly frowned. "What now?"
The brunette repeated the sign and a soft smile graced her face. Holly found her trepidations lessen slightly as she watched her niece get lost inside a memory that she was sure had everything to do with a bubbly blonde dancer. As Santana's aunt, she wanted nothing but happiness for her niece, especially after everything she'd been through. She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that Brittany Pierce was the key to that happiness.
As a physiotherapist, she had to be pragmatic about Brittany's injury, though.
Santana fingers snapped her back to reality. Will has said that she can do her winter showcase piece in February and it'll count twice. She's up to date on her schoolwork and anything else that comes along, she'll handle it. I know she will.
"I have no concerns about her desire to do all these things, San. My concern is whether she'll physically be able to."
But that's why you're going to make her better. Santana was pleading with her. She could see the desperation in the face of the girl she loved like a daughter.
"Give me this week to properly assess the extent of the damage. I've seen the x-rays and there aren't any broken bones, but there is severe bruising that, while it may not hinder her recovery now, it could cause major issues in a few years if it's not treated properly. Six weeks was a preliminary time frame. I will be the one to decide whether or not she's able to dance after that or whether she needs more recovery time. I've seen videos of her, Santana, and she's so talented. I don't want to see that thrown away because of a hurried recovery. We have to do this right."
Santana nodded, but the disappointment on her face made Holly's chest hurt. God, she couldn't bear to see that look on her niece. She'd endured it for days on end a few years before and she swore from then on that she would do whatever it took to turn that frown upside down.
Sighing, she pulled Santana in for a hug, holding her tightly around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "Let's not count any chickens right now, okay? You don't want to uncover a golden egg just to find that it's rotten on the inside."
Santana always understood her strange euphemisms so when she felt a soft nod into her chest, she felt a little lighter. She needed to turn that frown upside down and considering how their conversation had gone, she wasn't going to be the person to do that.
That was reserved for another blonde.
"Let's go find your ray of sunshine," she whispered.
"I swear to God, if I see that stupid slut bitch whore of a no-talent hick, I will cut her Achilles tendons," Quinn said heatedly.
Brittany rolled her eyes and poked at her pasta salad. It made her wish for Santana's cold chicken noodle salad, which made her wish for Santana. She knew it was ridiculous that she missed her girlfriend so much when they'd seen each other an hour before, but she had given up trying to understand her constant need for Santana.
She boiled it down to the fact that she would be forever, irrevocably in love with Santana Lopez. That seemed to suffice as a rational(ish) reason for her behaviour.
"Helloooo?" Quinn tapped her head with her fork.
"Fuck off," Brittany grumbled. "Who gives a shit what Kitty Wilde says anyway? She's just a jealous cow who can't handle that I'm a better dancer than her and that she's always been second best."
"Whoa," Quinn chuckled, sitting back. "Someone brought their claws out of hiding. What's eating you?"
Not Santana, she thought ruefully.
She immediately hated herself for thinking such a perverted thing. She loved Santana and whatever intimacy they shared was the most amazing and special experience. She shouldn't cheapen it by letting her hormones overwhelm her.
"I'm sick of other idiots fucking around with my life," she replied instead. "The only people that matter are Santana, me, my parents, Rachel and you."
"Aw, I feel so special that you mentioned me at the bottom of that list."
"Well, you always did enjoy being a bottom," Brittany replied before her filter could kick into place.
Quinn burst out laughing. "Oh my God, you look so guilty right now. That's fucking priceless. Come on, B, you and me both know that we can't undo what has already happened. We had sex a bunch of times and it was pretty good. So what? It's not like we'll ever do that again. Your lady parts are on lockdown and there's only one girl who has the key."
Brittany grinned. "That was actually pretty sweet, Q. I think my sister is bringing out your mushy side."
"I do not have a mushy side," Quinn retorted.
"Oh, I don't know so much," Rachel commented, sliding into the chair next to Quinn.
Brittany chuckled at how her best friend's cheeks went as pink as her hair. She made a whip sound as Quinn shyly smiled at Rachel.
"You're a fine one to talk about being whipped," Rachel said with an arched eyebrow.
"Happily whipped," Brittany replied, raising her hand. "No complaints from me."
"Oh, guess who I ran into on my way here," Rachel said.
"Raven Simone," Brittany deadpanned.
Both Rachel and Quinn stared at her in disbelief.
"What? It could happen."
"No, not Raven Simone. Holly."
"Holliday?"
"Yeah, Santana's aunt. That's her last name, right?"
Brittany nodded. "She's fetching me after lunch for my first physio lesson."
"Oh, she had a meeting with Santana in Will's office."
"She was probably there as a translator," Brittany said, taking a sip of her water.
"You don't seem too concerned about the fact that Santana was meeting with Will," Rachel said in confusion.
Brittany lifted a shoulder. "She told me she had a meeting with him. She'll tell me why if she wants to. I don't pressure her to tell me anything she doesn't want to."
"Imagine that, Rachel," Quinn said in mock admiration. "Brittany respects and trusts Santana enough not to badger her with inundated questions about what she's thinking and feeling all the time."
"Mature, Quinn," Rachel replied with a roll of her eyes.
"Problems in paradise, lovebirds?" Brittany teased.
"Shut up," they both grumbled.
The dancer just laughed until she felt a pair of hands cover her eyes. She stiffened. "Whoever you are, you'd better let me go before I kick your ass."
"Still as feisty as ever," a familiar voice said with a chuckle.
Brittany spun around and grinned. "Hey, Holly. Rachel said you got here early."
"Had a meeting with my short stack and the director," Holly replied, jerking her thumb at Santana, who was getting a bottle of water from the vending machine. "Have you guys noticed how Will has a total butt chin?"
Brittany didn't bother replying. She kept her eyes on her beautiful girlfriend, who had twisted the cap off the bottle and tipped it back to drink. She watched how Santana's throat moved as the water travelled down. She felt her own dry up and she bit her lip.
God, I'm in love with the hottest girl in the world.
A group of people were talking animatedly and walked past Santana, nudging her accidentally and causing her to spill water all over her top. Brittany stood up immediately, anger flaring through her. She felt a strong arm on her bicep. "Calm down, Blondie. She's a big girl. She doesn't need you running off to protect her from life's little accidents," Holly said in a low voice."
"But…"
"Yes, she has a very cute butt."
Brittany watched as Santana shook her head and pulled a face at her wet shirt. The guy that bumped into her apologised profusely, which made Brittany's anger simmer down.
"See?" Holly murmured. "Not everything has a dire consequence. If you surround her in bubble wrap, she's going to find a way out and trust me, you don't want that. You guys have a great thing going. Don't ruin that by trying to stop her from living her life because you're scared."
"I'm scared for her," Brittany hissed back. "She hasn't exactly had the easiest of experiences at this school."
"Look at her. Do you see a scared little girl?"
Brittany glanced back at her girlfriend, who was walking towards her with a big smile, wet shirt and all.
"No, I don't," she admitted quietly.
"You make each other strong, Brittany, but please give her credit. She may be small, but she's not as scared as you think she is."
"Okay," she whispered in response, her heart started to pick up its pace as Santana drew nearer.
"Good girl. I'll meet you at the entrance to the parking lot after lunch," Holly said, releasing her arm and kissing Santana on the temple as she passed her.
Hi, she mouthed.
Brittany just grinned and waved. She glanced down at her girlfriend's wet shirt and pulled a face.
I'm okay. It was an accident, Santana signed quickly.
I know, Brittany signed back. Do you have a spare one?
Santana nodded and signed that she had one in her car.
"Okay, we can get one before I leave with Holly."
The Latina smiled and gestured to the chairs with her eyes. Brittany quickly pulled one out for her and Santana sat down, immediately gripping Brittany's hand once the blonde was seated and had pulled their chairs together.
She allowed her girlfriend's presence to calm any lingering irritation she felt towards the boy that had bumped into her. Was Holly hinting that she was too protective of Santana? She knew that Santana hated how protective Shelby was; like she was suffocating her.
Do I do the same thing? she wondered. Am I just as bad? Am I going to drive her away because of my own fear and paranoia that something's going to happen to her?
Brittany was brought out of her thoughts by Santana stroking her arm. She met dark eyes that were flicking over her face in concern.
"Sorry," she mumbled.
Want to talk? Santana asked.
"Not right now. We can wait till tonight. I think I'm just being silly."
Santana smiled and shook her head. She leaned forward and pressed a lingering kiss to the blonde's cheek before moving her lips to her ear and whispering the three words that lit up Brittany's world.
The day she heard those words for real would be the greatest day of her life.
Holly pulled into her driveway and Brittany undid her seat belt. The drive from school had been very quiet. Brittany was grateful that Holly seemed to understand that she wasn't up for small talk and just left her to stew in her thoughts.
"Quiet time is officially over," Holly announced as she got out of the car. "During our ninety minute sessions, I will test you and you will want to call me every colourful name in the book. I encourage that because I often discover new names to call people I don't like."
Brittany scoffed out a laugh.
"Ah, she lives!" Holly said dramatically, climbing up the steps of the front patio. She turned and purposefully watched Brittany slowly ascend the steps. Her knee had started stiffening up after lunch. She wasn't sure how much actual physio work they'd be able to do with a knee that didn't want to work properly.
"Why aren't you using your crutches?" Holly asked, crossing her arms.
"Because they're lame," Brittany muttered.
"Are we gonna have one of those doctor/patient relationships?"
"Which one is that?"
"The one where you're the sullen teenager who feels eternally sorry for herself and I'm the bitchy physio who doesn't actually give a damn about the person she's helping, but is more concerned with her paycheque?"
Brittany blinked in surprise. Holly clicked her tongue.
"I figured you knew me better than that, Blondie. Santana has mentioned that you're very eager to get this recovery underway, but this whole 'woe is me' vibe is really not working for me. So get your shit together otherwise we're just going to be wasting our time."
Brittany bit her lip, ashamed. Admittedly, she had been feeling a little sorry for herself. The little negative monster in her head had been eating away at the notion that she was being too protective of Santana and that the love of her life would leave her if she didn't let up.
"I'm sorry," she murmured, dropping her head.
"Now that we've got that out of the way, shall we try again?" Holly asked.
Brittany nodded.
"Why aren't you using your crutches?"
"Because no one at school knows about my knee injury but Mr. Schue, Conductor Sue, Quinn, Rachel and Santana. There are…ambitious students at the school who will revel in my injury. I know that it's a lame excuse, but I don't need any other obstacles or people bringing me down. I have my own negativity to overcome without other people adding to it."
"There we go. Was that so hard?" Holly asked with an arched brow.
"You're not…mad?"
"Well, honestly, you should be on your crutches as much as possible, but I understand your position. So, compromise. You will use your crutches whenever you are not at school. Understood?"
Brittany nodded fervently. Holly had been serious – she didn't mess around.
"Great. Let's get this show on the road, shall we?"
Brittany was pulled from her slumber by familiar fingers running through her hair. She hummed in delight and snuggled close to the body laying next to her, throwing an arm around her girlfriend's waist. She felt Santana's lips graze her forehead and her closed eyes a few times before sleep pulled her back under.
It felt like moments later when she was woken again, this time by the soft sound of music playing. She recognised the piece as something new that Santana was working on. Stretching and wincing at the stiffness in her leg, Brittany opened her eyes and was greeted by something that warmed her heart. Any pain was instantly forgotten.
Santana was sitting on top of the duvet, one leg hanging over the side of the bed and the other tucked underneath her. Her hair was piled up on top of her head and she was wearing Brittany's sweatpants and shirt. Sheet music was strewn all over her side of the bed and she was staring at her laptop screen while chewing on a pencil.
"You are the most beautiful girl in the world," Brittany murmured in complete awe. "How am I so lucky that I get to call you mine?"
A smile graced Santana's lips, but her eyes never left the screen. Instead, she lifted her right hand and made a loser sign.
"That just means you're in love with a loser," Brittany shot back.
The brunette turned her head slightly and winked before returning her eyes to the laptop screen. She started typing something. Brittany was content to just watch her. Only the sound of her phone chiming a few minutes later broke her staring. Reluctantly, she grabbed her phone and sighed at the newest message.
Don't forget to do your exercises. I have the power to deny you sweet lady kisses from your girlfriend. Holly :)
"Holly is a mean physio," Brittany groaned.
Santana just arched an eyebrow and smirked.
"Oh my God, she's already told you that I have to do my exercises, hasn't she?"
The Latina just nodded, still smiling, her eyes not leaving the laptop screen.
"Baby!" Brittany whined. "She was so mean today! I need some encouragement preferably delivered by your amazingly luscious lips."
Santana laughed and shook her head. Think of it as an incentive, she signed.
"Fine!" Brittany pushed back the covers and slid her legs out, wincing at how her right knee was seizing badly.
Shit, she was right.
Holly had been very firm about her using her crutches as much as possible. The bruising was bad and they needed to be careful with overextending the joint too quickly. Brittany had appreciated how frank Holly had been about everything, but her physio had promised that her hardball attitude was supposed to encourage Brittany to do what was best for her body because she wanted to see her succeed as much as Santana.
A lot of what they'd done in that first hour had been testing Brittany's limits. It was beyond frustrating to see the extent of what she couldn't do. Holly had given her knee a massage with some oils that she'd told Brittany to use every night before she went to bed. Holly strapped her knee before she took Brittany home and she was required to keep the strapping on at night, but could take it off when she went to school. Neither of them had really taken into account the toll that the physical activity would take on her concussion. As a result, Holly had cut their sessions down to half an hour each day for the first two weeks.
Brittany grabbed her crutches from where they were leaning against her nightstand and pulled herself up. She made her way to the ballet bar in the opposite corner and picked up the equipment that Holly had given her. She'd been so tired when Holly had dropped her at home that by the time she'd reached her room, she'd just dropped everything and fallen into bed.
She started her exercises, looking at herself in the mirror. Holly had suggested that every time she did her home exercises, she watch herself and remind herself of why she was doing it. She winced as her knee twinged a bit, but persevered. As she stared into her own eyes, she pictured herself dancing to Santana's music at the winter showcase – well, at her winter showcase in February. She pictured blowing people away with her final showcase, whatever it may be. She hadn't thought that far ahead, but she knew that Santana would be a part of it.
She couldn't imagine any great accomplishment in her life without her beautiful Santana Strawberry by her side.
Brittany moved through her exercises without complaint and by the end of it, her knee was feeling decidedly less stiff. Happy with how her first round of home exercises had gone, Brittany turned around on her crutches and saw Santana leaning against the bathroom door, a loving smile on her face.
"What is it?" the blonde asked, swinging towards her.
Santana just crooked a finger and headed inside the bathroom. Brittany didn't hesitate to follow. When she entered the bathroom, her breath caught in her throat. All around the tub were tea candles, creating a calm and serene glow in the room. The tub was full of water. There were flower petals floating on the surface and the most heavenly aroma of lavender permeated her senses.
"San," she whispered in awe.
Her girlfriend just smiled bashfully and beckoned her closer to the tub.
Holly said that you'll probably be sore for the first few days. Aromatherapy is a great way to relax and relieve your body of any toxins. She said that your knee can go in the water too. The oils will help with the pain and swelling.
Brittany just nodded, still rendered speechless by her amazing and considerate love. Santana carefully undressed her, being extra careful when she pulled Brittany's sweatpants down over her knee. The blonde hardly felt anything she was so overwhelmed.
Santana took the crutches from Brittany and leaned them against the toilet. She held out her hands and inclined her head towards the tub. The dancer hardly needed a second invitation. She took Santana's hands and squeezed them, allowing her girlfriend to help her into the tub. She sighed in contentment as she lay back in the warm water. Her knee was definitely appreciative. Her eyes fluttered closed as her body relaxed. She smiled when she felt familiar hands rubbing her shoulders, but her eyes shot open when she realised that she was alone in the tub. She sat up a little bit and turned around to see Santana kneeling at the end of the tub.
"You're not joining me?" Brittany asked in confusion.
I thought you may want to relax in the tub by yourself, Santana replied.
Brittany smiled. "You're so sweet for that, and for all of this, but I can't have a bath without you. You've ruined me," she added lightly.
Santana smiled and stood up, quickly stripping and climbing into the tub behind Brittany. The blonde hummed even louder as she felt her girlfriend's hands go to work on her tense shoulder muscles, all the while feeling her bare skin beneath the water.
"You feel amazing," she murmured.
Santana kissed her neck a few times before continuing her massage. Brittany's hands rested on Santana's thighs as the bracketed her body. With every minute that passed, she felt herself relax more and more.
"I wanna say that you should be a professional masseuse, but I don't want your hands on anyone but me."
She felt Santana chuckle and the brunette pressed a few more kisses against her neck and up to her ear.
"Only yours," she whispered.
"Only yours," Brittany repeated. "Forever."
Santana nodded and finished her massage. Her hands dropped underneath the water and wrapped around Brittany's stomach, anchoring them together. They stayed in that position, their fingers tracing each other's skin until the water temperature became uncomfortably cool. They took their time drying each other, just enjoying the wonderful ease of being around each other so open and so comfortably so.
You should eat, Santana told her after they'd dressed each other and were just standing at the foot of the bed.
"I think there's still some fruit from yesterday in the fridge," Brittany murmured, very content to stay in her Santana bubble.
Luckily, her girlfriend was happy to allow Brittany to lead them in a stationary dance. Santana's music was still playing in the background. Their joined hands rested over Brittany's heart and her other arm held Santana securely to her.
"I can't wait to do this for real," Brittany murmured. "I can't wait to do everything with you."
Santana pulled back and smiled brightly up at her before standing on her tiptoes to join their lips together.
Yup, Brittany thought, pulling Santana closer to her. Even if I never dance professionally, as long as I get to do this every day, I'll be okay. Insecurities be damned.
Over the next two weeks, Brittany's whole world revolved around two things. The first, and obviously most important, was Santana. During the first week of her recovery, her aunts had been pretty lenient about her staying over every night. Unfortunately, after two days of physiotherapy, Shelby had laid down the law and Santana had been packed off home. As much as they both hated it, they knew that it was only a temporary reprieve.
The second thing was her recovery. Brittany was doing her best to stay positive during the whole experience and, for the most part, she won. There were times when her doubts started to overshadow her, but a smile or even a text from her amazing girlfriend just picked her up once again.
Santana had told Brittany about the deal with Will and her graduating early. The blonde had been rendered completely speechless by Santana's determination to accomplish something virtually impossible. Of course, she had no doubt that her strawberry could pull it off, but damn. Ambition looked good on her girlfriend.
With Santana devoting as much time as she could to working on her symphony, without taking away time with Brittany, the blonde focused on getting her knee working the way she wanted it to. Thankfully, Holly hadn't extended her no-dancing time frame. The bruising on her knee had all but gone, but there was still some stiffness and tenderness on the bone. Holly was an amazing physio. Brittany was truly grateful that they were working together. She doubted that anyone else would have been able to get her to do half the things that Holly had.
Their weekends were spent curled up together in Brittany's bed, tucked away from the world. They watched old ballets and musicals. They listened to a variety of music so that Santana could find some inspiration. It didn't appear that she needed much; her girlfriend was always on her laptop. Brittany had thought that it would irritate her, Santana being so busy, but she found the most unbelievable serenity watching her create music. Even in two weeks, she had done more than Brittany thought was possible. Santana had simply sent her a wink and said that it was easy with her muse around her all the time.
Santana brought her keyboard to Brittany's house over the weekends and the dancer loved nothing more than to listen to her play anything and everything. There had been many times when she itched to get up and dance, but she was adamant that Santana's hard work was not going to be in vain. She was going to get better. She – they – were going to blow everyone away with the belated winter showcase, and Santana was going to make magic with her music at the final showcase. Brittany had a very vague idea of what she wanted to do with her final piece, but she wanted to focus on nailing the winter showcase first.
Patience wasn't something that Brittany Pierce had been associated with before Santana had come into her life. But since that fateful and wonderful day, she found herself taking a few moments to think about what she was doing. She certainly didn't get impatient around Santana. Well…there was the tiny matter of her girlfriend being insanely gorgeous and her not being able to actually do all the things that she wanted to do to her. With Brittany being more mobile as the days passed, their make out sessions had become very handsy – which neither complained about. Actually, Santana did when Brittany always pulled away just when things were getting really interesting. As much as the blonde wanted to do unnameable things to Santana, she had thought long and hard about making their first time as special as possible. She had a few ideas swimming around in her head, but they all seemed so lame. She wasn't sure if Santana was in fact a virgin; it wasn't something they'd ever spoken about. Obviously, Santana was well aware of Brittany's previous track record. She cursed her reputation sometimes.
Thanksgiving was the following day and Brittany's parents had a huge dinner planned. Shelby and Holly had been graciously invited and since their dinner a few weeks back, the four of them had formed quite the friendship. Brittany didn't mind; it meant that she got to see her love more.
A familiar horn hooted, jerking Brittany out of her thoughts. She grinned and pulled her jacket around her as she walked towards Holly's car.
"Turned into an ice block yet?" Holly teased as she got in.
"Feels l-like it," Brittany replied, her teeth chattering. "Damn, it's like the temperature dropped ten degrees in a day."
"Well, rumour has it we may be blizzarded under come Black Friday. Who knows? It could be an actual Black Friday!"
Brittany chuckled.
"So where's my chiquita? She not joining us today?"
"Nope. Not now, anyway. She said that she wanted to work with the school instruments today. She promised she'd come home as soon as she was done, though."
"And to which home would she be referring?" Holly smirked.
"Uh, yours, actually. I think. She didn't say that she would see me later." Brittany shrugged nonchalantly, but it nagged her that Santana had almost seemed to be too busy to spend time with her. During school she got her usual kisses and everything was fine, but as soon as Brittany left for physio with Holly, she wouldn't hear from her until later that evening. Which, for them, was really weird.
"Is she being a bit distant?"
Brittany snapped her eyes to Holly's form. The older blonde's jaw was set and her eyes were glued to the road, but she knew that Brittany was looking at her.
"Is she okay? Did I do something to upset her? Am I being too clingy?" Brittany asked desperately. She didn't want to jeopardise their very first holiday together by being a total weirdo girlfriend.
"Easy, Blondie," Holly soothed in a soft voice. "Don't you worry your pretty head about Santana. She's a big girl – I've told you this before. You know that she'll come to you when she's ready."
"I…"
So it was something to do with Santana's past? Maybe her parents? Brittany bit her lip and looked out the window at the familiar houses passing them by. She had taken heed of Holly's words to her on the day of their first session, and Santana had proven that she could take care of herself. Brittany didn't need to hover over her like an annoying mother too afraid to let go of her precious baby. As much as Brittany wanted to protect Santana from the horrors of the world, she had come to the realisation that perhaps her girlfriend had experienced enough horrors to develop her own strategy on how to deal with them.
Yeah, like not deal with them at all.
Brittany frowned at her inner voice. Santana had her reasons and as much as she wanted her to confide in her, she would rather staple her mouth shut than push her to divulge anything.
"Britt?"
"Hmm?" She whipped her head around and blinked at Holly. "Oh, we're here?"
"Have been for a few minutes." Holly cocked her head as she studied the younger blonde's face. "You okay?"
Am I? she wondered.
Instead, she lifted a shoulder. "Let's make today a good session, Holls. I don't want to feel too stiff on Monday."
They'd agreed to take a break from physio over the holiday, but Brittany was still planning to do her own exercises. She wouldn't allow tradition to set her recovery back.
Holly looked her over a few more times before arching an eyebrow and nodding. "Alrighty. You're in for a scorcher today, Blondie."
They walked into the house and instead of going onto the enclosed back veranda where they did almost all their sessions, Holly veered left at the stairs, leading Brittany to a part of the house she'd never been to before. They went through a dining room and what looked like a study slash home gym.
"Shelby's office," Holly explained with a roll of her eyes. "She likes to keep active while she's working."
Brittany just nodded, not entirely sure about what was going on. Holly opened a door on the other side of the office and when Brittany saw what they'd walked into, she froze on the spot.
"N-N-No," she stammered. "I can't. I can't, I can't."
"You can," Holly disagreed with a smile. "This is an integral part of your recovery, Britt. Not just physically, but mentally too."
Brittany felt a cold hand grip her chest from the inside and it made her shiver. Holly could call her a coward, but she couldn't do it.
"Come on," Holly coaxed, holding out a hand.
Brittany shook her head vehemently, backing out of the room. Holly just sighed and dropped her hand. "We're doing this today, Brittany. I'm not going to manhandle you and I'm not going to force you. You're going to make this decision on your own because it's the right thing to do. You know that and I know that you know that."
The dancer just continued shaking her head. How could Holly think that it would help her recovery by getting her into a pool? A pool was where everything had fucking started! Well, technically, it had started way before that, but whatever. The pool was the clearest part in her mind.
"It's heated," Holly offered. "You can wash some of that frigid winter off you."
"I can't," Brittany whispered.
"Why not?" Holly asked, tilting her head to one side.
"Because!"
"That's not a valid reason. In fact, it's not a reason at all."
"I just can't!"
Holly rested her hands on her hips. "Yeah, I'm gonna need something a little more solid than that, Blondie."
"You don't get it!" Brittany snapped. "Every time I look at any pool or lake or ocean, even in a picture, I see red. And not only the angry kind, I see red as in blood. My blood. My blood in the water because I was stupid and reckless and-"
"Hold up," Holly cut in quickly, her eyes narrowing. "You were stupid and reckless? How, pray tell, does that result in someone else assaulting you?"
"I provoked him!" Brittany shouted.
"How?"
"Because I blew him off. I embarrassed him in front of his friends."
"So because you bruised his ego, that makes it okay that he firstly, assaulted my niece in quite possibly the most horrific way anyone could have terrified her, he didn't even bother apologising to her, and then attacked you in your own house because you made him accountable for his actions? Am I getting this right? You're to blame for actions that he chose to follow through on? Did you tell him exactly what he had to do?"
"No," Brittany mumbled, casting her eyes down.
"Look at me, Brittany," Holly commanded.
She obeyed.
"This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. That son of a bitch made his own choices. People call other people names and do mean things, but that does not give him the right to terrorise a young girl and physically assault another, possibly ending a very promising career all because she brought him to book on his asshole ways. Do you understand me?"
Brittany kept her eyes on the ground. She wanted to believe Holly. Santana had said the same thing to her over and over again, and while she agreed that she hadn't injured herself, she still felt guilty because of what Puck had done to Santana.
She heard Holly heave a sigh. "Okay, we need to dive into this more. I'm going to get us some cocktails and when I come back, you're going to be sitting on that first step with your knee in the water. Understood?"
She didn't even give Brittany a chance to respond before breezing past her.
What just happened?
Brittany looked at the small pool and swallowed nervously. It was bigger than a Jacuzzi. It almost looked like a splash pool for adults. It was deep enough to stand in. If she had to measure in her head, Brittany estimated it to be about three metres by five metres. She took a deep breath and was surprised to find that there was a very familiar smell emanating from the water. Cautiously, she took a step forward and sniffed again. Yup, it was definitely the same smell as the oils that Santana put in her bath every night. They were lavender aromatherapy oils.
I guess now I know where they came from.
She remembered how relaxed her felt after each bath. Her skin felt smooth and clean and her head felt light, but it the good way – like there wasn't anything weighing her down. She always fell asleep so easily after her bath. Even though Santana wasn't in her bed snuggling with her every night, their baths together made up for it.
Sort of.
Not really, but it was better than nothing. Brittany sighed, suddenly missing Santana like crazy. Add to that how semi-distant she'd been, Brittany felt ridiculously alone. And it was ridiculous because she was far from alone. She had her parents and Quinn and Rachel, even if they were nauseatingly cute being all in love and shit. She had Holly, who had been wonderful.
But she wanted Santana.
Was she being selfish, unreasonable? She had given everything of herself to her. She'd opened up about things that her best friend of six years didn't even know. She always put Santana first and while Santana trusted her so much, she knew that the Latina didn't trust her completely.
Ugh, stop it! she scolded herself. Santana promised that she would tell you everything. You just need to be patient. She's given you her heart, Pierce. Be fucking grateful that the most amazing girl in the world chose to trust you with her heart.
Brittany sighed in frustration. She almost wished she could blink three times and transport them into next year. They would both be in their royal blue graduation gowns, and everyone would be cheering wildly because they were about to head off to New York or wherever to do wonderful things in their respective arts. But regardless of their careers being different, they would be together and that was all that mattered.
"You're a poster child for daydreaming," Holly commented from behind her.
Brittany squeaked in surprise and quickly regained her balance at the edge of the pool where she found herself standing. How had she got there?
"You gonna stand and stare at the water all day or get in?" Holly asked, striding past her and gracefully descending into the warm water.
Brittany's eyes went wide as she glimpsed available skin on her physio. "Wh-What are you doing?" she spluttered, shutting her eyes.
"Getting into this frigging badass pool," Holly replied. "I'm abouts to get my cocktail on."
Brittany shook her head. "I should go, then."
"Britt, we're in the middle of our session. There are shorts and a shirt behind the screen to your right if you'd like to change into something more boring."
"You can't…I mean, you're…bikini!" Brittany eventually managed to stumble out.
She heard Holly chuckle. "I'm not ancient, Blondie. You have all the same parts that I do, even though mine are way hotter."
The dancer couldn't help but crack a smile at Holly's persistent arrogance. It was all done in good humour, she guessed, so she sighed and opened her eyes, heading for the screen. She quickly undressed and pulled the swimming shorts on – emphasis on short – and tank top. She kept her bra on.
"Finally!" Holly cheered, holding up a martini glass. "Get your ass in this pool."
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Brittany stepped up to the edge of the pool.
"This is a safe space, Britt. There's no one here that can hurt you. Except yourself."
Brittany looked up at her physio in confusion. Holly smiled encouragingly.
"You're hurting yourself by constantly blaming yourself. You may not feel it or even realise it, but you will never fully recover from this unless you accept that you are not to blame. You need to forgive yourself or absolve this guilt in another way." She held up her glass again. "The best way to start absolving is by taking it all in."
"You mean taking the alcohol in?" Brittany asked with a smirk.
"You take me for a cheap trick, Blondie?" Holly replied evenly. "We'll see what happens in ten minutes when your ass is in this pool and you're on your third martini."
"Challenge accepted," Brittany stated. As she looked at the water, her bravado faltered. Santana would still love her even though she was a coward, right?
Right?
Not in a million years.
"God, I really have to do this, don't I?" she choked out, her eyes not leaving the ripples as they rolled across the surface of the pool.
"What do you think?" Holly asked softly, her usual sensitive tone back.
Brittany winced. "I'm…"
"You're…?" Holly prompted.
"I'm scared," she whispered.
"And that is perfectly okay, Britt. You are absolutely allowed to be scared! The world's a scary ass place. Fear allows us to feel. It allows us to appreciate everything that much more because we constantly fear and worry when it's going to be taken away."
Brittany nodded, tears running down her face. She hadn't even realised that she'd started crying.
"Tell me what you're scared of, Brittany," Holly requested softly.
"I w-wanna be that person for her, but I don't think she trusts me," Brittany sobbed, allowing her body to cushion a soft drop to the floor. "I want everything with her, but I'm scared that I won't be good enough. I want to dance, but I'm scared that my knee could make that dream disappear. I'm scared that I'll lose someone that I care for dearly and I'm terrified that it'll be Santana. I won.t…" she choked on her tear-ridden words and held her stomach. "I won't survive without her. She's my e-everything, Holly, and what if I'm not hers the way she's mine?"
"Oh, honey." She heard Holly moving through the water. Holly's hand rested on her ankle. "I can't tell you what to feel, but I think that Santana will allow me to speak on her behalf because I know for a fact that my niece is one hundred percent loco over you. And I'm talking the good loco. She's been so closed off and well, alone, for so long, but when she met you, I could already see a difference. I didn't know who you were, but I knew that someone was putting some colour back in her cheeks. She loves you with everything she has, Brittany, and I know you know that. I can see it when you two look at each other, as can, I'm sure, millions of other people. That girl would move mountains to make sure that you two stay together for as long as Fate will allow, or whatever deity you believe in."
"I know she loves me," Brittany said, gaining control over her vocal chords again. "I do know that. I just…I'm scared she doesn't love me enough to trust me with everything." She clenched her fist. "And I also know that it makes me selfish. I shouldn't think that way, but I do."
Holly sighed. "Britt, please give her time. What she…" Her voice tapered off as she struggled to find the right words. "Let me put it to you this way without – hopefully – giving away too much. Santana lost her parents, which you already know, right?"
Brittany nodded.
"Okay, the tough part for Santana was how she lost them. When she does tell you – and I have no doubt that she will, probably sooner than you think – you'll understand why it was so hard for her to divulge."
"She's…not in danger or anything, is she?"
"No," Holly replied immediately. "Both Shelby and I know that she is the safest she'll ever be when she's with you."
Brittany frowned. "That doesn't really answer my question. Is there like, someone after her or something?"
"Oh, no!" Holly exclaimed in surprise. "Is that what you meant? No, definitely not. This is not some shrouded spy secret with assassinations. This is just…a sad story. And it's Santana's story to tell, not mine."
Brittany didn't say anything, choosing to chew on her lip instead.
"Take it from someone who's known her for almost twelve years," Holly added. "Santana has a big heart. She's capable of greatness, much like yourself, that us mere mortals can only dream of. You two create magic together. I've seen it, albeit on a video, but I've seen it. You and Santana are the stuff that epic love stories are made of. You're that couple that everyone roots for. You're the couple that lasts through anything. You're the couple that starts together and ends together. Just keep believing that, Britt. Okay?"
"Okay," she breathed, nodding. She lifted her eyes to meet Holly's smiling ones. "You really think we're destined like that?"
"Oh, honey, I'm the captain and crew of the Brittana ship," Holly declared. "Ain't nobody gonna sink you girls."
A/N: Figured we could use some Brittana ship lovin' ;) Ain't nobody ship 'em harder than Holly Holliday, yo.
(Okay, I don't know where that came from. Ignore me.)
Fic recs: Mediterranean Dreams by Scarlett's Tara and Girl In Time by justanotherwriterT. One's a Brittana-cation fic and the other is an awesome sci-fi time-stopping story that's still in early days.
Keep sailing the ship!
-H
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