ATTENTION: THE AUTHOR IS POSTING THE LAST CHAPTER ON MAY 5. TO THANK ALL THOSE WHO HAVE READ HER STORY, SHE IS ALLOWING THE ENTIRE STORY TO BE PUBLISHED UNTIL MAY 22.
THIS BOOK OR ANY PORTION THEREOF MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT PERMISSION. THE SCANNING, UPLOADING, AND DISTRIBUTION OF THIS BOOK VIA THE INTERNET OR VIA ANY OTHER MEANS WITHOUT THE PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER IS ILLEGAL AND PUNISHABLE BY LAW.
REGINA FELT HER HEART thudding in her chest, the heat from Robin's body spreading through her to ward off the chill from the air conditioner. Her body was limp and satisfied and yet she was conflicted inside. Her instincts were to get up and walk away from the awkwardness she felt. Another part of her wanted to accept that she wanted this. Wanted him.
Questions began to flutter in her brain. Where did they go from here? Was this leading somewhere they couldn't turn back from? What was he thinking? How would this affect their working relationship? Shivering, she buried closer to him.
"You're cold," he said trailing his fingers through her hair and down her back.
"A little," she lied. Her shiver had nothing to do with temperature and everything to do with fear. She was practically naked in his lap. How did she get up and remain dignified, she wondered? Opening her eyes, she glanced beside her to see her dress and bra sprawled on the floor beside his shirt. A giggle worked its way out of her chest and up into her throat. Her body vibrated but she kept the sound silent.
"What?" His arms began to release her, he leaned against the door facing her. His hair was tousled, his face a little pale, his chest bare. He tucked her hair behind her ear, "What's funny?"
"I wasn't laughing," she protested covering her breasts with her hands.
His eyes focused on her hands, "I think hiding yourself at this point is useless. I've seen them and I'm not likely to forget."
She flushed, leaned over, and grabbed her bra. Slung it over her shoulders and began tying the tie in the center. Words stuck in her throat as his fingers cascaded up and down her thighs. Glancing down, she hadn't realized she was straddling his lap. His fingers were gentle, from knee to mid-thigh. When his hands slid to her hips, he kept her in place when she tried to get up.
"Robin—" Her words cut off by his lips. He shifted her on his lap until she felt him hot and hard. "Mmm," she was forced to wrap around him. His hands, callused and sexy, pressed her back into him, trialed up to tangle in her hair, and hold her in place.
How could she want him so soon? Again, she thought. He was demanding, relentless, and something entirely different than she was used to. When he shaped his hand to her jaw, he lifted his head. "I want this," he breathed. Kissed her deeply, "I want you. What do you want?"
His eyes drilled into hers, he waited. It wasn't something she was used to either. "You're asking me?" She frowned at his frustrated response.
"What do you take me for? Of course, I'm asking you," his other hand framed her face. His eyes searched hers, "No one has ever asked you, have they?"
She swallowed and shook her head. It unnerved her again, he could read her so easily. Was she that transparent? Was he that in tune to people that he could see what was in her mind? In her past? It embarrassed her to the core. "No, not really."
Cursing he rested his brow to hers, "Dammit, Regina. I'm sorry."
"For what?" She lifted her head to meet his gaze.
"For taking advantage. I thought…shit, I didn't think," he shook his head.
"I'm thirty-six years old, I'm not a virgin. You didn't advantage of me. If I hadn't wanted it, I'd have stopped you," she said sternly.
His eyes searched hers again, "You might as well be untouched if a man doesn't take the time to ask you what you want. What you need."
Turning her head, she said, "I don't think you have to ask."
"Yes, I do. Look at me," he framed her face in his hands. She was forced to look at him. He was angry and she couldn't figure out why. "When was the last time for you?"
"What?"
"When?"
"I…that's a personal question," she flushed.
"I've already touched you, we're as personal as we can get. When?"
"Two years," she said with a small voice.
"How long?"
Frowning, she shrugged, "What do you mean?"
"Damn it, I hate asking because I don't want to think about you with another man. How long were you with him?"
"I wasn't," her anger and embarrassment increased. "It just happened, okay?" This time she shoved against him until he was forced back, and she gained her footing almost slipping her heel along the floor. On her feet, she bent down to grab her dress and slid it back on, zipped it up.
As she gathered her anger, she saw him out of the corner of her eye put his shirt back on, and stand as he began buttoning it up. She crossed her arms and started pacing. This wasn't at all how she imagined it would be after. But here it was, and it was more awkward and more painful than she realized it would be.
"This isn't me," she began. "I don't sleep with random men. I did it once and I promised myself it wouldn't happen again. Look where I am," she scoffed. "Two years has taught me nothing."
"Hey," he said. She turned to face him. "Did that guy just want sex from you?"
"Of course, he did. Don't most men?" His jaw clenched, he flinched.
"No, we don't. Is that what you think? I spent time with you. I ask you questions about your family about you to get you naked? Is that what you think? It was all I wanted?" His voice was tight. His eyeshot.
Maybe, she thought. At first, yes, she did think that. The more time she spent with him, she knew that wasn't true. She bit down, clenched her jaw, and shook her head, "No."
"That's something," he spat. He shoved his shirt into his pants, tucking his shirt back in place. "You're a real piece of work. I've never met a tougher woman. You're stubborn and confusing. Draw me in and shut me down. I never know what the hell you're thinking. You hide behind those walls of yours. Damn it, you're a lot of work." He moved around the room, shoved his keys and wallet in a drawer, sat at his desk and buried his face in his hands.
That stung. She felt herself wince at the words he spat at her. The same words that most people including her mother threw at her all her life. She felt the tears burning the back of her eyes and refused to let them fall and humiliate her. Her chin began to tremble, she turned her back to him and gathered her papers in her briefcase.
Closing the latch, she swallowed her tears and grabbed her blazer. He slid it over her and took her purse placing it over her shoulder. Making sure her voice was clear, she said, "I'll send you an e-mail with my case notes. You can add what you need to them. I'll take care of the shopping and the invoices."
Taking a deep breath, she added, "I'm sorry." Waited until she heard his voice.
"Regina—" She turned, and his words cut off when a tear slid down her cheek betraying her. He looked appalled and scared. "Cut that out."
Angrily wiping it away, she said, "Enjoy your weekend."
Taking her briefcase from her desk, she walked past him to the door and closed it behind her.
WHY THE HELL WAS SHE avoiding him? Since she left on that Saturday, he hadn't spoken a word to her in person. She'd sent him an email on that Monday afternoon with the case notes for three of the clients they shared. No note, just an attachment.
The rest of the week, she was a ghost. Conveniently she was in court, in meetings with Gold, shopping, or meeting with people for the Mixer, which she excluded him from, or with clients. When she was in the office, she had a phone call after phone call.
It seemed when she had any free moments, she slipped out of the room down to Maggie's office. When she was alone with him, she came up with some excuse to be somewhere else. What were they? Teenagers? It was pissing him off.
Yea, so he'd said some harsh words in a moment where she hurt him. Her words stung. He'd never been accused of getting into bed with a woman after pretending to be interested. Damn it, he was. He liked her, enjoyed her company, and she was incredibly sexy. He'd had his hands on her and wanted more.
It wasn't enough, not nearly enough. He let her play her game, pretend like he didn't exist. For a week, he put up with it. He didn't seek her out and when she evaded him, he didn't say a thing.
Halfway through the third week, the office blew up with news about Peter Mueller visiting the office. The Mixer was in a week and he was offering to have a meeting. Regina spoke to him for the first time on a Wednesday morning, "Peter Mueller wants a meeting."
She talked to him without looking in his direction. "Congratulations," he said. "You'll do great." He kept his eyes on his computer screen and kept typing.
"Gold wants you there too, Friday at 2. Are you free?" He glanced over, she was writing in her calendar.
It didn't escape him that she said Gold wanted him there. "I don't have to be there," he began. "If you want the meeting on your own, take it. You earned it." He clicked to a new client file and started filling in the details from his court hearing the day before.
"We're a team," she said.
"Are we? Could've fooled me," he said with no heat. He continued inputting his notes knowing she only spoke to him because she had to.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He stopped mid-sentence and looked over at her. Her face was red, she was glaring at him.
"Nothing. I'll be there if you want me to be. Otherwise, have at it. You've wanted this all along," he said turning back to his notes. "I'm happy for you. Good luck," he added. Before he could get to the next sentence, she stood up from her desk and left the room slamming the door.
He'd had it with her behavior. Shoving up from his desk, he went down the hall and looked in the common room, the conference room, and down to Maggie's office. When he didn't spot her, he went around the corner to the Women's restroom.
Without hesitation, he shoved the door open to find her pacing the bathroom. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
The flush of a toilet and the opening of a door behind her revealed a wide-eyed Belle. "Excuse me," she scurried out of the room in a hurry.
"This is the Women's restroom," she said indignantly.
"No shit," he turned the lock on the door so they wouldn't be interrupted. She took a step back which was the wrong move for him. He was done with this. "What the hell is your problem?"
"I don't have one," she said.
"No? It's been two and half fucking weeks, Regina. I gave you fucking time. I've had enough. Have you?"
The look on her face angered him. She backed herself into the wall and he shoved his hands in his pockets. "I've been busy," she tried.
"I know, busy avoiding me. I've watched you put your fingers in everything just to not be in a room alone with me. Now, you're standing there looking scared. It pisses me off."
"I'm not scared of you," she crossed her arms.
"I think you are. You're scared of the way you feel about me, and I figured it was why you freaked out. I jumped you, damn it. I didn't give you time to think. By the time you could, it was too late. That's on me," he said. "I snapped at you and I'm sorry."
The anger built in him, anger at himself for how he'd treated her, what he'd said. How long he'd let time pass before he was man enough to say what he was saying now. "Damn it, Regina. I was pissed and hurt."
"I said I was sorry."
"But you don't get it. I didn't take the time to tell you. Instead, I let you waltz around here like you have something to be pissed about. You tiptoed around me and avoided me, and I let you. I figured you needed time. Well time's up. I'm done waiting."
"I was humiliated," she interrupted.
That snapped him straight as he stared at her. "Say what?"
"I was embarrassed that I'd let myself get drawn in. Two years ago, I slept with someone. Afterward, he pretended like I didn't exist. Later, I heard whispers around the office. He bragged about it. I decided then, I was better off alone. Then, you came along, and I didn't even try to get away from you. I was humiliated."
He swallowed, "Regina, I'd never do that to you. I care about you." A tear slid down her cheek, "Cut that out, don't cry."
"I'm not," she wiped it away.
"I didn't mean to bring up old memories. I just needed to know what you wanted. I didn't know what she wanted," he sighed. "I didn't know what she was about, I married her because it was easy. I didn't take the time to figure her out. By the time I did, it was too late. So, I'm not making that mistake again. I'm asking."
"I'm not her," she said.
"I know that. I'm not comparing you to her, damn it. I just want to be clear. I want to know, and I want to tell you what I want. You piss me off, Regina. If you want to know the truth. You piss me off because I want you. I don't want to want you."
"I don't understand."
"I know," he laughed pathetically. "I figured that out last week. When I watched you tiptoe around me, I figured it out. You don't know how much I want you. How hard it is for me to look at you and not feel what I feel. To not touch you," he said feeling his chest tighten. "You're inside me and it terrifies me to want you. I'm not ashamed to admit it."
"What did she do to you?" she asked. "I only heard the rumors."
"They're close enough to the truth. She strung me along, made me promises, made me think that she loved me. I loved her," he said. "I did and I thought she was it. It's hard for me to think about her and not feel hate. All along she was sleeping with a guy I know, Drew. She was never faithful to me. I was too stupid to figure it out."
"I'm sorry," she said.
He nodded, "She was pregnant." It hurt to think about it. "I wasn't sure if it was mine, but she told me it was. It makes sense now that it had to be mine for her to do what she did."
"No," she shook her head. "She didn't."
"Yea, she did." His heart broke again to think of her terminating the pregnancy. "Behind my back. I didn't know until after the fact. That was it for me. I found out about Drew and I made sure the annulment went through. We were only married for two weeks when I found out. It nearly broke me."
Her chin trembled before the tears fell and he sighed, "Cut that out."
"Deal with it," she said stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him. He held on tight and buried his face in her hair. "I'm so sorry," she said.
"I don't want sympathy," he said. "It's done." He lifted his head to look into her tearful eyes. "I'm telling you because I want you to see that I don't want to want you. I can't stop myself. So, I'm asking what you want before I get too deep. I gave you time because I needed it. I can't do this again and fall on my face."
"I don't know how to do this," she said. "I'm out of practice."
He framed her face with his hands, "What's stopping you?"
Her eyes lowered to his chest, she sighed, "I lied to you."
"About what?"
"I was engaged. A long time ago," she said meeting his eyes.
"What happened?"
"It doesn't matter," she said trying to pull away.
He tightened his grip. "I just told you the most painful thing in my life. It's your turn."
"He died," she said letting tears fall again.
He hated seeing her with this look in her eyes. Tears on her cheeks didn't suit her. His heart sunk, "How?"
"Heart attack," she said. "They didn't know until after he was gone that he had a heart condition. It was quick and form one day to the next, he was gone."
"Fuck," he wrapped around her, held on tight. "When," he asked into her hair?
"Eight years ago," she said pulling back. "I'm out of practice," she repeated. "I'm used to being alone. I rarely get involved, it's always disappointing."
He watched her, "Except this time and it freaked you out. Is that it?"
"It was…I felt…I guess I just didn't know I could feel like this."
Hope lodged itself into his chest at the word, this. Present tense, he told himself. Shaping his hand to her jaw, he asked, "How much does it scare you?"
"I'm terrified," she admitted.
"Same goes," he said lowering his head. The sizzle started slow, as his lips pressed and lingered. When she opened her mouth, he touched his tongue to her, and the sizzle changed to a low flame. Two and a half weeks without this was too long, he thought. He sunk into the kiss, sunk into her.
His fingers tangled into her hair tipped her head back and changed the angle of the kiss. Her hands gripped his hips and held on tight.
"I missed you," he said in between scorching kisses. "I can't stop thinking about you." His hands slid down from her hips to her ass, molded his hands to her, slid down, and hoisted her up. "Put your legs around me, I want your legs around me," he set her down on the lip of the sink.
He was drunk on her body, her scent, on her. "Wait," she said in between his assaulting kisses. Her hands pressed against his chest, "Robin."
"Hmm?" He drowned her in a kiss that almost muddled the sounds of a knock on the door.
Turning her face, she pushed him again, "The door."
"What?" He grabbed for her again, covered her mouth, and heard the banging again.
"Regina? Is everything alright in there?" He broke apart from her and met her eyes hearing Maggie's voice through the door.
"Just a minute," she yelled. "Let me down," she whispered.
He picked her up, set her on her feet, and helped to put her hair back to rights. He handed her a napkin to wipe her eyes and kissed her. "We're not done," he said.
Nodding, she turned and slid the lock and opened the door. He slid his hands in his pockets and stood back.
"You've been crying. What happened," Maggie demanded. "What did you fight about?"
Did she tell her what was going on between them? They were friends, he thought. "I'm fine."
Maggie turned her eyes on him, "Are you sure?"
"Yea," she said.
"We'll talk later," she said. "You," she pointed at him. "You watch your step."
He'd never felt put in his place before by a woman who wasn't his mother, "Yes ma'am."
They walked down the hall and into the office, he closed the door and said, "Get your stuff."
Regina turned to stare at him, "Why?"
He took the three steps between them, yanked her into his arms and kissed her until he was almost too dizzy to stand. "I waited long enough," he said struggling to calm his breath. "I'm taking you home with me."
"Robin, we have work to do."
"It'll be here when we get back. I want you, I need you, and I mean to have you. Now," he finished.
When she only stood there, he took her coat and placed behind her, she slid her arms in. He took her purse and slid it over her shoulder. "Anything else you want?"
Shaking her head, he lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers. "This could take a while," he said and grinned.