Chapter 9

Bass sits in the booth feeling numb. Charlie Greyson is Charlotte Matheson and he doesn't know what to do.

The ringing of his phone breaks him from his astonished trance to see Miles's name pop up on his call display and he answers without hesitation.

"Miles… hey."

"What the fuck did you do Bass?"

Bass feels a sinking in his gut and takes a drink of whiskey to settle his nerves.

"I didn't know Miles. I swear to god I didn't know it was Charlotte."

"You really fucked things up Bass."

"Miles… what the hell is going on? You told me Charlotte was backpacking across Europe when she's what, working for the cops and getting hunted?"

"Bass…." He can only imagine Miles having to sit down, a glass of hard liquor in his hand and his face weary.

"Charlie chose this. I was still there when Steve recruited her and I tried to talk her out of it, I did. But she needed something to channel everything into and she aced the tests better than I even did. She's damn good at what she does Bass. Too good."

"Why wouldn't you just tell me she was working for the cops?"

There's an audible pause and Bass feels the tensions rising between them. "For god sakes Miles just spit it out."

"You left her."

And just like that Bass's stomach drops.

"You never said anything to me about her when I left." Bass's voice cracks and he runs a harsh hand through his hair feeling the oncoming headache.

"She never said anything to me. Didn't want to talk about you, didn't want to talk to you. Nothing. That year after you left was hell with her, old wounds resurfacing shit."

"I had to leave Miles. I was no good for her anyway. I mean you know what kind of jobs the bureau had me on, I could barely be around you let alone Charlie."

Bass feels drained and he finishes his glass of whiskey in one gulp. "Did she know it was me when I showed up a couple weeks ago?"

"Yeah she knew. I guess she realized that you didn't recognize her and decided to keep it that way. I just found out twenty minutes ago."

Bass almost drops his phone and has to use a death grip to keep it to his ear. "Wait… she just called you?"

"She's not with you?" This time Mile's voice carries through alarmed and Bass feels the same worry flood through him.

"Bass…."

"Don't worry man, I'll find her."

"Hurry." Miles grits out. "She isn't the girl you remember. She seems fine but her past can make her self-destruct. Those memories haven't left her, they've only been tamped down. You'll find her at her apartment."

Bass hangs up after memorizing the address Miles tells him and takes Charlie's hundred dollar bill off the table, throwing his own hundred instead and takes off in a run. He's unfamiliar with Chicago and hails a cab, reciting the address in a monotone voice as his foot taps impatiently on the muddy floor of the cab, almost sighing in relief when it finally pulls up to a tall brick building.

Bass tosses a few bills to the driver and jumps out, scanning the directory until he finds Greyson Room 113.

Bass holds his breath as he hold down the button, hearing the beeping as he waits for Charlie to answer.

"Yes?" Her voice echoes distorted through the speaker and he almost chickens out.

"Charlotte it's me."

Silence. Unbearable silence and the sound of her breathing.

"Go away Bass."

"Charlotte I swear to god if you don't let me up I will buzz every single one of these rooms till someone lets me in and I won't go away."

It's not a bluff and he knows she knows it because the door buzzing as it unlocks allowing him entrance makes him sigh in relief.

He bounds the steps to the thirteenth floor and when he reaches her door he knocks.

The door swings open giving him a view of Charlie dressed in leggings and a tank top, makeup off and hair a mess, her blue eyes burning with anger.

"Miles gave me your address." Bass says, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Oh Miles told you? Fucking great. It seems like Miles tells you a lot of things he shouldn't." She says, spinning on her heel to grab the bottle of whiskey sitting on the counter.

"Charlotte…"

That's when she snaps, her eyes blazing as she turns on him and he's reminded of the anger he used to see in her.

"Charlie." She spits out. "It's only Charlie now."

He watches her grab the bottle and take a pull and sees the crimson and purple gashes on her knuckles.

"Charlie… what the hell did you do?"

Indifference settles in her eyes, the look that he saw when she was on a call and he knows it will do no good to lecture her. He doesn't hold that right anymore anyway.

"You knew who I was the first time we met."

"That you were FBI." Charlie says it in a bored tone like they've been over this a million times and Bass has to count to ten to reign in his temper.

"No, that you knew it was me."

Charlie's shoulders are high with tension and she shrugs, "And if I did?"

"I would ask you why you didn't just tell me."

She's quiet and Bass would almost mistake it for remorse if he hadn't known Charlie all those years. Quiet means that she was planning her next words very carefully and whoever was on the receiving end of those words should be very afraid.

"I was curious to see how you were. You didn't know it was me and I liked that. I was no one who could have mattered."

Bass scoffs and walks into her apartment, slamming the door behind him. "If I hadn't brought up Miles would you have ever told me it was you?"

"No." The answer is immediate and it stings. Bass grabs the bottle of whiskey from Charlie's hands and takes a long pull.

"You left Bass. I don't owe you anything." Her words hit low and he slams the bottle harshly on the counter, nearly breaking it in the process.

"Fuck you Charlie. You have no idea what I was going through. I could barely get an hours sleep let alone be there for you. You have no idea what cases I was on or how fucking hard it was to keep it together."

"No!" Charlie screams at him and he takes a step back from her, well aware of what happens when Charlie gets angry.

"You chose to leave, don't give me that bullshit that you didn't have a choice! Everyone leaves me. You listened to Miles give Rachel shit for leaving and a couple years later where the hell are you? I don't hear from you, I don't get a goodbye not even a fucking phone call. I don't hear from you for seven years and now you think you have any right to have an opinion on my life."

"Charlotte…"

"Call me Charlotte again and I'll make sure you won't be talking for a while."

"Charlie…" Bass corrects himself and runs and exasperated hand through his hair.

"You left and I moved on. I grew the hell up and stopped being that pathetic little girl that everyone left. Miles protected me, loved me. So did Nora. Just like I was their own kid. I'm respected because I'm the best at what I do. I have my life together now. And that angry little girl who you had to watch over? She's locked away somewhere deep inside where she can't be seen. I don't want you here. I don't need the reminder."

"You're still Charlie Matheson so me."

"No," Charlie shakes her head and looks almost saddened. "I am Charlie Matheson to only two people in this world and they never left me"

"I won't leave again." Bass says, slowly approaching her.

Charlie picks up the bottle of whiskey, gripping it so tight that the wounds on her knuckles start to open again, blood leaking at the corners, her entire body looking smaller than he's ever seen it.

"I need you to go."

"Charlie… don't shut me out."

She snorts and takes a long pull from the bottle. "I need you to go before I make it so you can't walk tomorrow. I'm drunk and don't feel like feeling even shittier tomorrow."

He's desperate to stay here with her but he knows looking at the indifference in her eyes that he won't get anything more from her tonight.

"Can we have coffee this weekend?"

Charlie stares at him and he waits, his stomach sinking further with every passing minute.

She sets the bottle down and clenches her hands into fists, emphasizing the crimson and violent stains on her knuckles.

"Bass, it hurts to look at you. You know something that only one other person in my world knows and every time I look at you I'm reminded that you know. That I'm not Charlie Greyson to you, I'm Charlie Matheson. And every time you look at me now, you see Charlie Matheson. You know Charlie Matheson. You know the worst part of my life and it's a reminder that I can never run far enough."

She sighs and wraps her slender arms around her waist. "I can't change that you know, but I don't know if I want to be reminded of it every time I look at you."

"Just think about it, okay?"

It's so subtle it's almost like it never happened but he sees her nod before she opens her apartment door and waits, watching him warily as he leaves.

Bass turns and holds her gaze as he stands in the hallway.

"I won't leave you again. I will spent as much time as it takes to prove that to you.'