A/N: Much love! :) Sorry for the delay…

It'll be a while until part 2 gets going. I know you guys are all waiting with bated breath for the arrival of Brittana… Be patient, my young Paduwans :)

Out of all the reviews (that are all awesome), polar bears and robots said something that I just had to mention. The most perfect term for Britt's current…state of mind: "morally questionable". I just thought that was so spot on :) We'll see a lot more of her mindset in this chapter and some of you may like it...some may not.

Things are going to get…moving, shall we say. You know that thing that you guys keep asking me about? Yeah…keep your eyes peeled.

This is a kinda two-parter for Sectionals.

Sexy times… (not the lady kind – sorry!)

Onward and up!

-H

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :( (If I did, Brittany wouldn't get such shitty storylines – when she actually gets one)

CHAPTER 24

"Room assignments!" Ms. S yelled. "Settle down, please!"

Santana let out a piercing whistle and the bus got quiet.

"Thank you, Santana," Ms. S said with a grateful smile.

"So long as you put me with Mercedes. We're gonna keep everyone up with our…antics," she quipped.

Mercedes smacked her head and Rachel chuckled. Santana wrinkled her nose. She was glad that things had kinda gone back to normal. They were headed to the next county for their Sectionals competition. She and Rachel were talking quite a bit, which was good, but it didn't make her miss her cheerleader any less. Thankfully, the other cheerleader in her life, albeit unwittingly, had been surprisingly quiet. Santana had never asked, but she guessed that whatever Rachel had said to Brittany had worked.

"Actually, Santana, I've roomed you with Quinn," Ms. S said.

Santana sighed dramatically. "I suppose that will have to do. Lord knows she's the only one that can keep up with my bed hogging."

Rachel snorted and the bus went even more silent.

Fucking awkward.

"Just poke her ass and she'll curl up into a little ball," Quinn commented, her lips making a popping sound as she continued devouring the lollipop Rachel had given her.

"Quinnie!" Santana whined. "Stop giving away all of my secrets!"

"Oh, honey, everyone knows your secrets,' Quinn replied. "You suck at keeping them."

Santana took a swig of water, keeping her gaze far away from the person passed out next to Rachel.

Yeah, I definitely suck at keeping secrets, Quinnie. Only because you know all of them.

"Moving on! David! You and Finn are together. Mercedes is with Tina. Sam is with Blaine." Santana didn't miss the way Sam's eyes lit up at that. She smiled to herself. She'd always suspected that Blaine wasn't completely straight. Maybe Sammy Evans would get an answer for her on their excursion.

"Rachel and Brittany!" Ms. S called. "And for the record, your room is on the opposite end of the hall to Santana and Quinn's."

"Ms. S!" Santana gasped, her hand fluttering to her heart in dramatic hurt. "It's like you don't trust us!"

"I don't," Ms. S said simply and everyone laughed. Santana just smiled and shook her head.

"I'm glad we're rooming together," Quinn said, nudging her shoulder. "I feel like I haven't had some bestie time with you since the break up."

Santana rested her head on Quinn's shoulder. "I hated myself, Quinnie. I still do. And I felt like you did too. Deservedly. I got where you were coming from." She sighed. "I was in a dark space for a while."

"I wanted to reach out to you," Quinn admitted quietly. "I mean, I did try, but I could've tried harder. A few calls and texts when you were hurting really badly isn't exactly top best friend form."

The brunette and lifted her head. "I was pissed at you. And myself. Ugh." She ran a hand through her hair roughly. "I was looking for anyone to blame."

"Well, promise we'll have a Quinn and Santana night tonight?" the blonde asked hopefully.

"It's a date," Santana said with a big smile.

"You're dating?" Rachel asked, squeezing in next to them.

"Oh, yeah. Didn't you hear?" We're totally the hottest it couple at McKinley," Santana joked with a chuckle.

Rachel didn't laugh, though. She just gave them a strange look. Santana swallowed nervously, her words playing over in her head.

Not exactly the best choice of words, Lopez.

"Please, you wish, Lopez," Quinn huffed, tossing her hair back. "I'm way out of your league."

Santana turned to her best friend and gave her a small smile. "You're in the league of queens, Quinnie. And one day you'll find your king."

"Or queen" Rachel piped up.

Both Quinn and Santana chuckled.

"Um, no…I think it'll be a king," Quinn confirmed.

"No temptations at all?" Rachel teased. "After all, your best friend is totally smokin'."

Santana blushed and concentrated on her hands. She and Rachel weren't together, but compliments like that still made her stomach flutter. She wished so much that she could just turn and kiss her, even if it was just on the cheek.

"That she is, but she's like my sister, and I can't say that I'm a fan of incest."

Santana pulled a face and Rachel laughed.

"A very valid point, Quinn. Valid and slightly disturbing."

There was a brief silence before Rachel broke it again, "So, I was thinking that the three of us might go out for dinner or something when we get back. Just as friends," she clarified.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Santana murmured, angling her head to give Rachel a small smile.

"Sounds like fun," Quinn agreed. "Let's try somewhere that isn't Breadstix."

Santana's mouth dropped open. "Why would you do that, Quinnie? Why would you say something so hurtful?"

"Well, I heard their breadsticks were average at best," Rachel continued, sending Quinn a knowing wink. Santana's love for breadsticks were anything but a secret.

"Take that back!"

"Nah."

"Breadstix is amazing and their doughy sticks of goodness are too perfect for words. No articulation could truly capture the magnitude of their awesomeness."

Rachel leaned closer, cutting Santana's rant off. "You know, San, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that you were compensating for something with the long sticks of bread."

"Oh, God," Santana choked, holding a hand over her mouth in horror. "I think I just threw up a little."

Rachel burst into giggles, followed shortly by Quinn. Santana folded her arms and pouted. It was totally not fair that they were teasing her love of breadsticks. And why did they have to go and make it all phallic? Gross.

"You guys are mean," she mumbled.

"Aw, Sanny Bear it's ok," Quinn cooed, pinching her cheek affectionately. "We still love you, even though you have an unhealthy obsession with…sticks."

That just sent her and Rachel into peals of laughter again.

"I'm not talking to you guys," Santana said firmly.

Brittany awoke with a start at the sound of annoyingly loud laughter. She glared at her best friend sitting with Santana and Quinn, having a grand ol' time. Santana didn't look very pleased, though.

Are they fighting?

She hated how hopeful she sounded.

The last week and a bit had been quite revealing for her. She'd learned a lot about herself and about Santana. As it turned out, the subtle staring missions she'd been undertaking had not only proven that she did feel something for the brunette that had turned her world upside down, but that it was something way bigger than she could've ever imagined.

And that scared the shit out of her.

She vividly remembered that way Blaine had described the butterflies and that need to see the object of affection all the time. Brittany had quickly discovered that she couldn't go a day without glimpsing Santana secretly. She was aloof, as expected, in Glee – because that would just be too fucking obvious. But she'd taken to creating detours passed the library and silently observing her from behind stacks.

She liked Santana Lopez.

Like liked her.

She'd never been so scared of something in her entire life. What did it mean? Was she gay? That would be a disaster. She was still sleeping with Finn, so did that make her bisexual?

Yeah, cos sleeping with Finn is so fulfilling.

Brittany turned her head and stared out of the window as a blush crossed her face. Every time she'd been with Finn, she'd been thinking of Santana. The first few times, she'd tried to focus on Finn, on being with him and feeling him. But she'd struggled to orgasm. The second she started picturing Santana's hands running all over her body, her arousal spiked and she'd come within a minute. It was actually scary how much the Santana in her head turned her on.

Fuck, now I'm getting flustered on a goddamn bus to Nowheresville. Perfect.

Another squeal of laughter caused her to turn her head back to Santana, Quinn and Rachel. They were in the middle of a tickle war – really, how old were they? – and Brittany found herself taking in every movement of Santana's face. How her mouth moved when she laughed, how her eyes sparkled, how she wrinkled her nose when she was being mischievous.

Yup, cue the fluttery heart and sweaty palms.

She was so screwed.

"Hey, Britt," Finn said, stepping in line next to her. They were waiting in line at the hotel they were staying at to check in.

"Hey," Brittany replied monotonously.

She was tired and frustrated. She'd had to endure adorable giggles from Santana the entire fucking bus ride. She hated that she could listen to the sound for hours on end, but she also hated that she wasn't the one causing them. Nope, that prize would go to Rachel. Brittany was terrified that Rachel and Santana would get back together because then her feelings would be so wrong.

She wondered if this is what Santana had felt when they'd…done stuff and she'd had to lie to Rachel. If the confusion and guilt was anything like what she was feeling then…fuck. She didn't blame Santana for hating her. She hoped that one day the Latina may actually forgive her for handling things how she did. But maybe hating her was better...

The worst part about everything was that everything was only going on in Brittany's head. There was no way that she could ever vocalise any of it. She just couldn't. There was no way. Even if Santana came up to her and told her that she wanted to be with her, Brittany doubted that she would be able to do it. The guilt and confusion that she was feeling was too much.

"Britt?"

"Huh, what?"

"You spaced on me," Finn said with a grin.

Brittany slapped on her Fake 101 smile. "Sorry, Finn. I guess I'm just preoccupied about the competition. Pretty sure Lauren and Dave are gonna fuck up that third combo in the final number. They still haven't got it right."

Finn slung an arm around her shoulders and she resisted the urge to push it off. She had to keep him around. Maybe he might still be able to stop this infatuation with Santana.

Ha! Keep dreaming, Blondie.

She knew it was kinda pointless. But she needed to try and get rid of these feelings. She'd acknowledged them and finally admitted that she liked Santana, but that didn't mean that she could ever give into them. Doing that had gotten her into this whole mess in the first place.

"So, what do you say?" Finn asked.

"Huh?"

Finn looked at her curiously.

"Rachel, stop it!"

Brittany whirled around at the sound of Santana's voice right behind her. Rachel was poking her in the side and even though Santana sounded pissed, there was a smile on her face.

God, that smile…

"Britt?" Finn prodded.

"Sorry," Brittany apologised, tearing her gaze away from Santana before she got caught staring.

"Maybe you need a night off," Finn hinted with a smile. "I've already spoken to Dave and he's happy to room with Lauren cos she has one on her own. I think he'd prefer it, actually."

He wiggled his eyebrows and Brittany tried not to frown at how ridiculous he looked.

Appearances. Right. You have to be straight. You can't be anything else

"You know what, Finnocence?" Brittany said with a bright smile, fingering his collar. "That actually sounds perfect."

"Awesome." He grinned and Brittany flashed a smile. "Ms. S said that lights out were at ten, so sneak out after that, ok?"

She nodded and he stepped away from her, heading to the back of the line where Dave and Lauren were.

"Really, B?" Rachel asked with that disapproving look that Brittany hated so much.

Well, so sorry, Rachel. Not all of us have the fortune to spend hours and hours with Santana and look at her openly and laugh with her. I need to do what I have to get over this.

"Whatever, Rach. It's my life. I'll fuck who I want to."

She made the mistake of looking at Santana, who gave her a look of curiosity, like she was wondering if Brittany was referring to them. Which, of course, she wasn't. She couldn't trivialise that moment with Santana, no matter how hard she tried. It had been so perfect in every sense of the word. That was why she needed to forget about it. Forget about her.

Rachel sighed, causing Brittany to break eye contact with Santana. They both looked away awkwardly.

"I've never stopped you from sleeping with jock after jock, B," Rachel said. She grabbed Brittany's hand and the blonde couldn't find it in her to pull away. What the hell was happening to her? These feelings that she'd admitted had whacked out all her emotions. She was becoming like…emotional and shit. Was it normal?

"I just wish you'd try to find something more than physical," Rachel said.

What?

Instead, Brittany scoffed. "I'm like a lizard. I need something warm beneath me in order to digest my food. That's how I'm made and I'm quite happy with it. So thanks, Rach, but your concern is misplaced. If I wanted to do feelings and shit, I would. But I don't."

She kept Rachel's gaze, even though she could feel Santana staring at her. She wondered if the Latina could see right through her.

"Listen up, New Directions!"

Thank fuck, Ms. S. Perfect timing.

"Ok, so there was a little mix up with the rooms and we got three four-beds instead of six two-beds. Against my better judgement, I've decided to group our four troublemakers together-"

Holy Jesus, no, you can't. Please don't do that to me!

She watched helplessly as Ms. S handed Santana a key card. Quinn had just joined and she and Rachel were squealing about a sleepover with everything. Santana was watching them and smiling.

Oh, shit. I'm so, so screwed.

Santana glanced across the room from her position on her bed. She took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes tiredly. It was just after seven and they'd all eaten. They'd decided to take turns showering.

The room was pretty impressive. Four double beds and a big flat screen against the far wall.

"What if," Quinn mused, "we take the mattresses form these two beds and put them on the floor?"

Santana tuned them out and went back to her book. The bathroom door opened and she unwittingly looked up to see Brittany walking across the room in a towel, her long wet hair dripping down her back. She swallowed.

Shit! She's not supposed to still affect me like this! What the fuck is going on? My focus is on Rachel. Rachel. Brittany has done everything possible to throw it in my face that she's straight and that sex means nothing to her. So get the fuck over yourself, Lopez!

Santana took a silent breath and exhaled slowly. Of course, Brittany chose that moment to look over at her. It had been happening a lot of late. Santana found herself looking at Brittany, and often caught her looking at her. She didn't get it. Brittany was so adamant about throwing it in everyone's face how straight she was and how she and Finn were going at it like bunnies at every chance. But those looks… It was like she was being transported back to that afternoon where Brittany had looked at her with turmoil, desire and something else. Something buried so deep that Santana hadn't even been sure that she'd seen it. After everything, it was easier to believe that she'd imagined it.

She couldn't pretend anymore, though. Brittany was looking at her like that. And it freaked her out. What the hell was going through the blonde's head? Was she planning another surprise attack?

Santana's heart started racing at the thought. She couldn't. She wouldn't. Not again. She wouldn't ruin the little trust that she'd built with Rachel over the last two weeks for another…whatever with Brittany. It didn't matter how good it was guaranteed to be, Brittany had admitted that sex meant nothing.

You know that she didn't mean you.

Did she? She had her suspicions, of course. She was very perceptive, and she could read pretty clearly what had been in Brittany's eyes. She'd tried to hide it, but Santana had glimpsed it – that desire. It was still there.

She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She was one hundred percent certain that she wouldn't let anything like that happen with Brittany again. Not while she was still actively trying to convince Rachel to give them another chance.

But what about in a few months? What if you and Rachel realise that you're not meant to be?

What then indeed? Santana frowned to herself and tried to focus on her book. The words were just letters. None of them were actually registering.

Look, she reasoned with her conscience, the only way that anything will ever happen between me and Brittany is if she accepts who she is and doesn't pretend that it doesn't mean anything. And there's no way that's happening. So it's pointless thinking about what if.

Content with her rationale, Santana settled back into the puffy pillows and lost herself in her book.

"You're still going, B?" Rachel asked from her position on the floor.

Brittany glanced at her best friend from her suitcase where she was rummaging for her bikini.

"Well, we're obviously not going to his room, but the pool closed half an hour ago so we're going there instead."

"Ok," Rachel said simply, realising that it was pointless trying to convince her otherwise.

Brittany set her jaw and looked away from the three girls strewn across the two double mattresses on the floor. They were watching action movies – a refreshing change from romcoms that Brittany figured girls watched on sleepovers. As Santana and Rachel had motivated, Who doesn't love a good action movie with a hot chick?

She found her elusive swimsuit and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She took a deep breath and she pulled her top off and faltered. The scent that she'd unmistakingly associated with Santana after inhaling it herself in their close encounters swirled around the bathroom. The Latina had been the last one to shower and her shampoo and body wash still lingered in the air.

Brittany glanced around, even though she knew there wasn't anyone there. She bit her lip and leaned towards the shower, taking another deep inhale.

"Oh, God," she whispered.

Stupid move.

Her legs trembled slightly and her heart started humming it was beating so fast. How could someone's scent do that to her? It was just her smell… Her fresh, intoxicating, lovely scent.

Brittany quickly stripped and pulled her bikini on. She needed to get out of there before she did something really stupid. She grabbed her clothes and opened the door.

"Oh, sorry," Santana mumbled, her eyes flickering down Brittany's body. "Um, I just wanted to…"

"Uh, yeah," Brittany said, feeling her body heat up about a thousand degrees with Santana's eyes on her. She stepped aside. "All yours."

"Thanks." Santana stepped passed her quickly and Brittany got yet another whiff of that amazing scent.

Fuck.

She crossed the room quickly and deposited her clothes on the bed. She was well aware of the slight stickiness between her legs. She grabbed her towel and looked at Quinn and Rachel. They were laying as relaxed as could be on the mattress, munching on the snacks that Quinn had gone out to procure.

Procure? Really?

Brittany blushed. Her conscience was making her blush. Ridiculous. Watching Santana had introduced her to the Latina's extensive vocabulary and way of speaking. What she'd heard before was just a tiny percentage. She really was a dork.

A cute, adorable dork that you have the hots for.

Brittany shook her head and grabbed her towel and phone, heading for the door. As she reached for the handle, she heard the bathroom door open and Santana stepped out. She undid the pin in her hair and it fell down all around her face.

Cue accelerated heartbeat. She needed to go. Santana caught her gaze and it was all the incentive that Brittany needed to open the door and slip out, closing it behind her. She leaned against the door and shut her eyes. She needed to get over this. She couldn't like Santana. She knew that she did – she could hardly ignore it anymore – but she couldn't. She had to stop it.

What if someone found out? Thankfully, Blaine was as oblivious as ever. But if anyone ever knew…

Brittany took a breath, wrapped the towel around her waist – she was never shy of showing off her smokin' bod – and headed to the stairs that led up to the roof.

"I was thinking you might have changed your mind," Finn said with a grin as she dropped her towel at the edge of the pool.

She shrugged. "I said I'd be here, so here I am." She stepped into the water and leaned against the wall. The way Finn's eyes ran all over her body didn't give her any kind of reaction like what Santana's gaze had. Brittany closed her eyes as he came closer and her mind unwittingly morphed his tall body into a much smaller one. One that had caramel skin and long dark hair with equally dark eyes. Brittany smiled as her mind's version of Santana leaned in to kiss her neck. Those imaginary lips left a blaze of heat on her skin wherever they touched. Within minutes, Brittany was so ready for her orgasm.

"Fuck me now," she growled.

"As you wish."

His voice snapped the illusion for her and she blinked her eyes open rapidly. Before she could say or do anything, his finger pushed her bikini bottom aside and he thrust into her. The relief was instantaneous, but she felt something curl inside her, and it wasn't the orgasmic kind.

Just imagine…

Brittany shut her eyes again as he started thrusting and she lifted her legs to wrap them around his waist. She let her mind wander back to that day, where her leg was around Santana's waist and the unease in her stomach immediately lightened. At that moment, she didn't care how wrong it was to think of Santana while Finn was fucking her, but she had to. Out of everything she was fighting, she was tired of fighting the reason behind her orgasms.

She imagined Santana whispering in her ear in that husky soft voice, moaning every now and then. She remembered how her skin had felt underneath her fingertips and arousal shot throughout her body at the memory.

"God, yes!" she grunted, getting closer and closer to that peak.

"You know you want to, Britt baby," her Santana whispered in her ear, pulling their bodies flush together in that delicious way that Brittany remembered. "Come for me."

And she did. Hard. Fucking hard. She felt herself being filled as she shook and she was abruptly drawn out of her imaginary world at the sound of Finn groaning in pleasure as he emptied himself inside her.

The pleasure dissipated quickly and for the first time, Brittany felt dirty. Sure, she used Finn – she was sure he knew that. But she felt like she'd used herself.

"I have to go," she said suddenly, pushing him off her.

He'd been through the routine enough times to know not to argue. He let her go and Brittany swam to the edge of the pool, pulling herself onto the ladder quickly. She grabbed her towel and phone and didn't bother drying herself off as she headed for the door.

She'd gone down four flights of stairs before dropping onto one and hugging her knees close to her. The tears came without warning and Brittany Pierce, Fierce Pierce, captain of the national championship-winning Cheerios, dancing goddess and top of McKinley totem pole, curled into a ball and sobbed.

Santana glanced at her phone. Brittany had been gone over an hour. Not that she was counting. Or cared. She didn't. But that look…

Brittany had given her a look before leaving and she could've sworn that she was fighting between staying and going.

But she went. So stop your whining.

Santana frowned. She just felt like something else was wrong. Brittany had done a one-eighty since she and Rachel had decided to give their friendship a shot, and as well as that was going, even Rachel seemed to be a little surprised at her best friend's behaviour.

"I'm gonna go for a walk," she said quietly.

"Why?" Quinn said with a pout. "It's your favourite part. ScarJo's getting down with her bad self."

They were watching The Avengers.

"Yeah, I won't be long. Just feeling restless."

"Is the great Santana Lopez feeling nervous for tomorrow?" Rachel teased.

No. I never get nervous before performing. "I don't know. Maybe," she said instead.

What was that about lying to Rachel?

"Actually, I'm not nervous," Santana corrected herself. "I just…I'm not tired, I guess."

Quinn sat up, a look of concern crossing her face. "You want me to come with you?"

Santana shook her head. "You guys chill here and enjoy ScarJo getting down with her bad self. I'll be back soon."

"K," Quinn and Rachel chorused, turning back to the TV.

Santana grabbed a key card, her phone and jacket. She was only in her pjs - shorts and a tank top - which wouldn't protect her from the decreasing temperatures. She started towards the lift, then thought better of it – she didn't feel like getting caught. It was almost midnight and she was definitely not supposed to be walking around. She remembered seeing a music hall on the second floor when they'd arrived. She walked down six flights of stairs and heard soft music playing as soon as she opened the door to the second floor. She slipped into the passage and crept up to the door. She pushed it open slightly and straightened when she saw Brittany, still in her bikini, free dancing to music playing from a stereo.

If tomorrow never comes
I would just want one thing
I would sell it to the stars and the sun
I would write it for the world to see

She looked amazing. No, amazing was an understatement. Santana had obviously known that Brittany could dance, but this… It was something so much more. The moonlight caught her face and her breath caught in her throat.

Brittany was crying.

And it's you
The light changes when you're in the room
Oh it's you
Oh it's you

Was it the music? Was it her dancing? What was making her cry like that? The song ended, but immediately started again and Brittany continued her free dancing as though she was used to it. Santana wondered how long she'd been dancing to the same song on loop.

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
And trace the steps with my fingertips

Santana knew the song. She knew it well. Maybe it was a song about Finn. Maybe something had happened between them and Brittany was sad for some reason. It didn't have to be something…more. It didn't have to mean something else.

She wasn't sure how long she stood at the door watching Brittany. She was just lost in whatever emotions Brittany was feeling. The blonde was putting everything into the dancing, kind of like she did with her singing.

The lyrics played over in her head and it became more difficult for her to ignore. At the exact second that she realised that there was no mistake that Brittany had chosen that song and who exactly it was about, Brittany looked up and their eyes met.

It was like time stopped.

"Santana," Brittany whispered, slowly standing up straight.

She may have been across the room, but Santana heard it as though the blonde had whispered it in her ear. It made her shiver. Brittany took a step towards her and Santana instinctively took one back. She couldn't again…they couldn't…

"No, wait," Brittany pleaded, taking a few more steps.

Santana just shook her head and stumbled backwards through the door, heading blindly down the passage. Her head was swimming with needing to go and wanting to stay.

Why does this always happen with Brittany? Why can't it be a simple 'you're straight, I'm gay, it'll never work. Move on'? Why do I have to continuously feel this inexplicable pull to-

She didn't finish her thought because someone grabbed her arm, halting her getaway. She was pushed up against the wall and Brittany's virtually naked body was pressed up against hers. Within seconds, so were her lips.

She knew it was stupid. But she didn't care. Why else would Santana, of all people, manage to find her in a hotel with hundreds of rooms?

Brittany didn't believe in fate, but she believed in the connection she had with Santana, however fucked up it was. And she knew that Santana felt it too because she was kissing her back, desperately so. Her warm hands were all over her back, spreading heat throughout her body. This was what it was supposed to feel like. Her imagination had done a good job, but nothing beat actually kissing Santana.

Their tongues played with each other perfectly. She could feel the moans in the back of her throat, of both of their throats. The lyrics of the song she'd been dancing to for what felt like hours came back to play inside her head.

If tomorrow never comes
I would want just one wish
To kiss your quiet mouth
And trace the steps with my fingertips

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't fair to Santana. She knew it was a bad idea to be kissing Santana the way she was and to let Santana kiss her back the way she was. But it just felt so…

Right.

Few things in Brittany's life made sense. At that moment, kissing Santana made the most sense out of anything. She wanted her. She wanted Santana. And not just in a physical way. She wanted all of her. All the time.

But she couldn't. And the thought almost broke her heart.

What did make it feel like it was broken, though, was Santana pushing her away suddenly.

"No, no, no, we can't. I can't. Not again. I…" She shook her head violently and slipped away from Brittany before she could grab her.

The blonde watched as Santana ran down the passage and disappeared around the corner, unable to will herself to run after her.

It took Brittany another hour to finally head back up to her room. She stood outside the door, partly because she had forgotten to take a key card and partly because she knew Santana was probably on the other side of that door. Her body still hummed from the Latina's kisses. She briefly considered going somewhere else to try and get some sleep.

Who am I kidding? There's no way I'm sleeping tonight. Especially with her so close to me.

She felt like crying again. Why did she have to like Santana so much and not be able to do anything about it unless it was some secret, forbidden, stolen rendezvous? Why couldn't she just-

No. I can't. I can't ever be that.

She typed Rachel a message, hoping that her friend was still up and would hear it. It was one-thirty in the morning, after all, and they had rehearsal at eight.

The door eventually opened and Rachel looked at her blearily.

"Sorry," she murmured. "I forgot a key card."

"Hmm," Rachel mumbled, opening the door wider and letting Brittany slip through. She was still in her bikini, her towel hanging in her hand.

"You ok?" Rachel asked in a husky whisper laden with sleep.

"Yeah, I'm totally fine," Brittany replied in a low voice. "Go to sleep, Rach. Sorry I woke you."

She sat on the edge of her bed and saw, in the darkness, her best friend flop down next to two shapes on the mattress. She stared at Santana's covered body and hated how she felt tears bubbling up again when Rachel snuggled against her.

That will never be me.

She just had to let it go. She couldn't ever be with Santana. It wasn't possible. Not that Santana would ever even want her. She deserved happiness and if Rachel could give her that happiness, then she'd have to step back and let them be.

How are you going to manage seeing them together all the time?

She'd manage. If she couldn't then…maybe it would be best if she stopped being friends with Rachel. The thought of that hurt so much. Rachel was her only friend, but wasn't being a good friend allowing them to be happy, even if she suffered?

Brittany pulled her bikini off and pulled the covers up and over her head. She grabbed a pillow and held it close, burying her face into it and letting the tears fall once more. She had no one to blame but herself.

Her eyes flew open and she tried to calm her rapid breathing. Her chest was tight, her face was dry and her eyes burned.

She didn't even want to know what she looked like after crying herself to sleep. She pulled her covers down and blinked at the natural light filtering through the partially closed curtains. Brittany sat up and made the mistake of looking at the sleeping bodies on the floor a few feet away from her. Quinn was passed out on one side, laying on her stomach and Santana was next to her, laying on her side facing her slumbering best friend.

The real kicker, what made her gut seize in pain was Rachel sleeping behind Santana. Her arm was wrapped around Santana's waist, her hand resting against naked skin underneath the Latina's tank top. Santana's hand was on top of Rachel's, as though she was totally ok with how they were positioned.

She could be. You don't know that.

Brittany reached for her phone that she'd left at the foot of her bed and checked the time. Six-thirty. She stood up, grabbed her towel and headed for the bathroom. She shut the door, locked it and turned on the hot water in the shower. She stared at her reflection in the mirror while the steam generated by the scalding water slowly fogged up the bathroom.

"It's done," she finally said. "You need to forget about Santana. You need to forget about everything that has happened between you. It's for the best. It's the best for her, for Rachel, for you – for everyone."

She knew it wasn't going to be easy to forget the girl that had invaded every part of her body and seemed to not want to leave. She'd all but forgotten about their fight, about the things she'd said and she knew that it was unhealthy. She'd been a bitch and Santana had stayed away. So in order for her to keep her sanity, she'd have to become that person again.

She was going to be the biggest bitch to Santana Lopez, even if it killed her.

A/N: Well…that's the first bit of Sectionals. The second bit gets WAY more interesting… :) There is going to be a lot of focus on Santana and Brittany in the next few chapters, with a bit of Rachel thrown in. I know some people feel like I've neglected Quinn and the Quintana friendship and I have taken note of that. I plan to work it in the upcoming chapters if I can :)

Will also be uploading It's You by Michelle Branch (the song Britt was dancing to) onto my Tumblr shortly after posting this, so if you'd like to have a listen, go for it :)

If you're wondering why Brittany is so adamant that she can't be gay or bisexual, you'll find out soon :)

Would love to hear your thoughts, as always :)

Oh, sorry for the Finn sex…I know you guys don't like it, but it served a purpose – Brittany got to fantasise about Santana instead…

Onward and up!

-H

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