In These Empty Eyes

Chapter 2

Loki's days in Sanctuary passed in a similar manner as the first, he awoke on his stiff mat, trained until he could no longer feel and went back to his room to sleep. He wasn't sure how much time had passed. The days blended together until all he knew was to fight and train to get stronger, to serve his father. Fortunately he had mostly recovered his sédir; without it, he was ashamed to say, he felt venerable. He knew he wasn't the strongest physically. His greatest advantage both in a fight and against his siblings was his sédir. It was different. It was his.

Head held high Loki was one again walking through the now familiar corridors. He still felt sore from the training the other day, his ribs were still a bit bruised and his hand wound slowly healing into a thin scar but he didn't care. He needed to keep training. He needed to. If he didn't he would never be of use to his father. He would never be the perfect weapon his father wanted.

Entering the training room Loki was surprised and unnerved to see Gamora missing. The Ebony Maw was there along with Nebula. A pair of stranger's also stood side by side a short distance away from his two familiar siblings.

Loki paused in the doorway, hesitating briefly before proceeding towards the small group, watching them carefully. Nebula snarled at him while the two strangers raked their eyes over him, studying, examining. Searching for a weakness.

Walking over to the group Loki strode with all the grace and feigned confidence he could muster. He was not weak. He was not afraid. He couldn't be. He refused to be.

Trying in vain to suppress his anxiousness Loki stopped in front of them, doing his best to keep his face blank like Gamora did. He couldn't help but wonder where his sister was. He couldn't remember a day that had gone by in Sanctuary when Gamora had not been there.

How long had he been in Sanctuary…?

Loki couldn't remember.

…Had he always been here?

He wished he knew. Loki wondered how he had come to lose his memories. Was it a punishment from father? Had he failed him in some way?

The thought made a cold weight settle in Loki's stomach. What could he have done to require the removal of all his memories? …Was that part of the reason Nebula seemed to hate him so much?

The Ebony Maw snatched Loki from his thoughts as the tall willowy man began to speak in a breathy voice that set Loki on edge. "Ah… Loki… Now that we have all… arrived… I believe we may… begin…"

"Where's Gamora?" Loki knew he was being blunt and rude but he didn't care. He wanted to know where his sister was. Well, the sister he actually liked.

As if sensing his thoughts Nebula cut off the Ebony Maws reply, growling out, "She's on a mission for father, what's it to you?"

Glancing at her as she spoke the Ebony Maw turned back to Loki, giving him a condescending and somewhat disdainful look as he stated, "It is as Nebula has… already said… Gamora has received an assignment from our father Thanos… she is assisting him in the quest for balance… and eliminating those that are… in the way…"

Loki stared up at the man for a moment at a bit of a loss. Before he could say a word the Ebony Maw carried on speaking, "For now… we shall be training with… our other siblings… this, is Proxima Midnight…" The strange new woman seemed to straiten slightly at the name. She must be Proxima midnight, another of his siblings apparently.

She had monstrous red eyes like Loki himself but that was where the similarities ended. She had blue hair while his was black and her skin was seemingly white with a pale blue tint, unlike Loki's revolting blue. The woman had black… horns? The horns were set on either side of her face and covered the sides of her head and her forehead. She carried a strange spear like weapon confidently in one hand.

Loki focused on the Ebony Maw as he continued to talk, introducing the other stranger. "This… here… is Cull Obsidian…" The first thing Loki noticed about the man called Cull Obsidian was his sheer size. The man was taller even than the looming Ebony Maw, probably not much shorter than father. His molted, scale like flesh was stretched over bulging muscles. In his grasp rested an enormous battle-ax. At the mention of his name Cull Obsidian's lips curled into a harsh sneer.

Loki swallowed, hoping he wouldn't have to fight his new siblings. Cull Obsidian looked like he could and would easily smash Loki through the stone floor with a mere swat of his hand; and Proxima Midnight didn't look like a push over either.

"Now… as we are… gathered… most of us at least… it is… the perfect opportunity... to continue to better ourselves… to become-" As the Ebony Maw droned on Loki let his thoughts drift towards his siblings, more specifically Proxima Midnight and Cull Obsidian.

He wondered why this was only their first meeting. They had probably been away on missions or the like, Loki thought. He couldn't help but wonder when he himself would receive an assignment from his father.

All Loki had been doing was training. Was he… not useful…? A sick feeling welled up inside him. He felt as if he were about to throw up. If he wasn't a useful weapon… a useful tool… he was nothing.

No.

The thought resonated through Loki's mind. He had to be useful. He would do anything. Anything…

Dragging himself from his thoughts Loki focused once more on the Ebony Maws speech, "And so… we will do what we must… for our father… for Thanos… shall we begin…?"

With that chaos broke out around him.

Weapons clashed and armored bodies flung themselves at one another. Whipping around Loki only just saw Cull Obsidian with his ax raised about to bring it down upon him.

Rapidly teleporting away Loki appeared in a flash of green sédir near Proxima Midnight. With a loud crash the stone shook slightly beneath Loki's feet as Cull Obsidian's ax embedded itself into the floor.

Locking eyes with him, Proxima Midnight charged, slashing at him with her spear, a sadistic smile marring her otherwise elegant features. Leaping out of the way from his sisters attack Loki sent a blast of sédir at her, sending Proxima flying back. Before he could do anything else thin crystalline spikes burst from the floor, piercing his body in a multitude of places.

Red eyes wide, he choked. Viscous dark violet blood dripped down, splattering on the stone floor. The disgusting blue, blue blue flesh around the wounds felt as if it were burning.

"You should have… watched your surroundings… closer… you were practically… waiting to be… defeated…" The Ebony Maw informed him in that breathy whisper of his. Looking smugly down at Loki he smirked. Acting as if he were superior. As if Loki were beneath him.

It made Loki feel disgusted and ashamed. Could… could his sibling see how much of a pathetic failure, how much of a monster he was? With his oh so wrong blue skin and bloody red eyes…

Was he going to be killed?

No, that couldn't happen. He needed to be useful, for father. He needed to get out. He needed to free himself. He needed to be better, a better weapon. He needed to win.

Breathing heavily Loki felt his sédir flood through his body, welling up around the wounds, feeling thick and heavy in his veins. The Ebony Maw had begun speaking again but Loki ignored his words. His sibling was just trying to get to him, to get in his head.

Pooling his magic into the thin spikes Loki could see cracks spreading down the sharp needle-like crystal fragments as he forced more sédir into them. The ground shook once more, likely due to Cull Obsidian and Loki could hear Nebula cursing a ways away.

The Ebony Maw paused his latest drawn out speech staring down at the cracks for a moment in surprise. Lifting his hand Loki's sibling sputtered "You-!"

Before the other Child of Thanos could act the crystalline spikes shattered, shards flying out in every direction, one piercing the Ebony Maw's side as he made a wheezing sound. The tall willowy man grabbed the end and ripped the glittering shard from between his ribs, tossing it to the stone floor.

Loki gasped in pain as his strange violet blood dripped down his armor. Seeing his brother snap his eyes up to glare at him, losing his cool for the first time in Loki's memory he quickly teleported to the other side of the room in a flash of green.

From where he now stood, panting, Loki saw Proxima Midnight's spear go flying towards the Ebony Maw. Loki's sibling seemed to get sucked into the fight between Proxima Midnight and Cull Obsidian, much to Loki's relief.

Unfortunately just when he thought he'd managed an escape a mechanical hand wrapped around his throat and hurled him into the floor. Standing above him Nebula grinned, looking down at him as if she had been waiting for this moment.

Knowing her she probably had been.

Loki made to scramble up but Nebula slammed a booted foot down onto his chest, pinning him to the floor. Wheezing he tried to wrench her foot off of him but failed. She was too strong. Nebula and all his other siblings had received upgrades from father while he… had not…

All the Children of Thanos had received upgrades and modifications. All except for him…

Nebula removed her foot from him only to collide it with his face. A pained yelp wrenched itself from Loki's throat as pain shot through his left cheekbone, a cracking sound wavering in the air for a long moment.

Grabbing him by the front of his armor Nebula threw him a short distance away where he crashed into the floor, head banging against the stone. Loki's violet blood smeared on his fingertips as he reached up to touch his head wound, wanting to examine the damage.

As Nebula strode over to him Loki dragged himself up into a standing position, breathing heavily. He couldn't let her near him. She was going to hurt him. No. No, no, he had to get away. Get away. No, no…

Loki tried to scramble back but Nebula's robotic hand wrapped firmly around his throat, pulling him up onto the tips of his toes as he struggled for air. He couldn't breathe. Nebula's grip was firm and unresisting as it dug into his revolting blue flesh and in the distance he could still hear the other Children of Thanos battling, desperate to win. Loki stared into his siblings face as he choked, unable to look away from her wide grin and solid black eyes.

Fear pooled through his body as his vision dimmed, all he could do was try uselessly to rip he hand away. Everything hurt, no, no, no he needed to get away! Loki's sédir rushed through his veins, building up rapidly. Without another thought he felt as if his magic had… enveloped him. Wrapping him in its comforting embrace.

Suddenly he was falling to the hard stone floor as Nebula let out an alarmed shriek, flailing backwards. Gasping for air Loki remained sprawled on the floor as his vision swam. What… what happened…?

Loki didn't know what had happened. One minute he was being suffocated by Nebula; once again, Loki was starting to think his sibling like to choke others a little more than she should; and the next minute he was on the ground as Nebula stumbled back unsteadily, crying out in surprise and pain.

Turning his head he stared up at his sibling as she clutched at her mechanical arm. It was… twisted and… frosted over…

There was an imprint of a hand where Loki had grabbed her with his disgustingly blue hands, only it was blackened and warped, coated in an icy sheen. There were cracks running along the metal, spreading outward from the handprint.

Nebula's hand spasmed, malfunctioning in the face of the extreme cold.

What had he done?

What had he done?

He'd…

He…

Monster…

Loki scrambled back in horror, unable to tear his eyes away from his siblings frozen arm. (Enormous blue, so so blue, clawed hands. Curling around a pale arm, his arm, burning through cloth and armor. Freezing, burning. Killing the flesh under its grip. No, not freezing him… but changing him. Disgusting, wrong blue spreading across his skin. What was he? Monster. monster. monster, monster, monster)

What had he done?

The world before his eyes shifted. It all felt wrong, oh so wrong. He could distantly hear the voices of his siblings but couldn't make out the words. They blended into a cacophony of mindless noise.

He was a monster…

Stumbling to his feet Loki backed away awful, bloody red eyes wide with panic. He didn't think he could breathe, he couldn't think. What had he done...?

No, no, no, no…

He ran.

Loki bolted out the door, running as fast as he could. He needed to escape.

He ran through the corridors, everything looked the same. Had he gotten anywhere at all? Where was he? What was happening? What was going on? He didn't know; all he could do was run.

His calves burned and he could feel his repulsive violet blood dripping from his numerous stab wounds and his cheekbone felt as if it were broken. It probably was but Loki couldn't bring himself to care. He felt… detached, as if everything were happening to someone else. Like he was no longer a part of himself. Like he was separate from his body…

Loki didn't know how much time had passed as he ran but after what felt like simultaneously too much and far too little time a clawed hand grabbed him, holding his arm tightly; too tightly.

Whipping around he saw one of the armored creatures crushing his arm in his grip, behind it stood another pair of deformed soldiers. Loki tried to wrench himself from its bruising grasp but it yanked him forwards. He fought desperately, flailing like a wild beast. Like the monstrous animal he was. He had to get away; he needed to keep running, to escape. Another soldier grabbed him and they began dragging him away.

Loki couldn't escape. He was trapped… All he could do was stare at the plain floor as he was dragged off roughly.

Eventually Loki was deposited in front of his father's throne. His body ached as he hit the stone dais, dragging himself up he swayed slightly. Staring at his father's feet Loki refused to meet his eyes.

The comforting detachment was slowly dripping away, leaving Loki filled with an overwhelming cold panic, a twisting feeling in his gut. There were fresh looking puddles of crimson blood splattered near the base of the throne; he hoped his own violet blood wouldn't join it.

His father's voice boomed around him, startling Loki from his thoughts, "I understand you have displayed a rather useful power today. Why have you not used your talent before now? You are my weapon, my tool. You are to use every skill at your disposal to fulfill your purpose."

Thanos' voice carried a sinister edge, promising pain and suffering should he not like Loki's answer. Swallowing thickly Loki stammered out "I-I didn't mean, I didn't know that I could, father. I didn't mean to-"

His father silenced him with a look; Loki instantly stopped speaking, clenching his jaw shut to stop any further stuttered apologies and explanations from slipping out.

"You were unaware of your talent?" The question sounded rhetorical, as if Thanos were speaking aloud an inner thought of his so Loki said nothing. His father stared down at him in contemplation; Loki tried to read his expression for some hint of what would come but all he saw was a cold, calculating blankness.

Trembling slightly Loki tried to ignore the burning pain in his cheek, bruised neck and numerous stab wounds. Time seemed to slow under his fathers scrutiny, every moment feeling as it dragged on for an eternity. He wanted to escape but it was as if he were pinned under his father's cold gaze. Trapped.

Apprehension built inside Loki until his father finally spoke "I see. It pleases me that you are of more use than previously anticipated. Although, you have still failed me, you ran."

Loki swallowed nervously, his father was right. He'd run. A weapon did not run from a fight. He'd failed. His father leaned forwards, staring into his eyes intently.

A nauseating terror filled Loki's being as Thanos carried on; grinning maliciously "I believe it's time you receive an upgrade."

Thanos motioned with his right hand to something behind Loki, no someone. A hand grabbed Loki's shoulder; he tensed and whipped around as best as he could, letting out a surprised sound. Coming face to face with The Other Loki froze.

The being dug its numerous clawed fingers into Loki's revolting blue flesh and dragged him away.

Loki was taken down through the long twisting corridors, walking on through the depths of Sanctuary's inner sanctions. The Other walked behind him silently, harsh raspy breathing filling the air, keeping just a little to close to him for comfort.

Everything hurt as he carried on his path, he couldn't remember when he hadn't hurt. Dragging his feet on the floor he took one step after another. Staring down at the ground he watched himself walk through the corridors, unfocused and numb.

Eventually he was taken to a large set of doors. The Other shoved him through the doorway and walked off as the doors slid shut behind him silently.

The lights were blinding and before Loki could get a grasp on his surroundings a group of soldiers swarmed around him, tearing at his armor and tossing it to the floor. Trying to squirm away, clawed hands dug into his skin, ripping open his wounds once more as they stripped him bare.

He was dragged onto a smooth raised slab, metal cuffs locking his limbs down. In his panic Loki whined wordlessly as he fought against the restraints uselessly. He could hardly see what was happening as the bright, sterile lights above wormed into his eyes and ate away at his optic nerves, blinding his vision.

A group of fleshy deformed looking creatures uniformly dressed surrounded Loki. He couldn't focus on their features the light was too bright.

There were a series of clinking noises as they shifted around, searching for something. Loki thrashed wildly, hyperventilating. He didn't know what was going on, he needed to escape.

He pulled his sédir to the surface to use but he couldn't. He couldn't use his magic. Why couldn't he use his magic? No, no, no, no. It was wrong. Wrong. No. Why couldn't he-? No.

His heart pounded in his chest as he fought against his restraints desperately. One of the creatures hefted up a sharp, dangerous looking saw-like tool. "No." He breathed, unnatural red eyes wide, unable to tear his eyes from the tool. "No, no, no, no, no. Please. No. If you hold any semblance of mercy, please, don't -"

Ignoring his pleads it adjusted the tool; a high-pitched whir pierced the air as the blade began to spin. "No! Please -!"

Without hesitation it lowered the tool to his shin, cutting through the ugly blue flesh. Loki's shrill scream was ripped from his throat as pain shot through his leg. The spinning blade slicing through the skin and muscles, and oh, it hurt. It hurt so much.

Violet blood splattered and Loki heard another tool start up to his left, feeling tears build up in his eyes. No, no, no. Another ripping, shredding pain tore through his arm and the creatures loomed over him like predators. They were ominous fleshy shapes, outlines against the blinding light.

Loki tried to wrench his limbs away but he was secured tightly within the metal grasp of the restraints. He couldn't escape. Not physically, not with sédir. He was trapped. All he could do was scream.

His tendons were sliced through mercilessly. Another saw started up. They just kept going. Why wouldn't they stop? Why wouldn't they stop?

Loki's screams were pulled from his chest, creating a demented symphony with the whirring of the saws. The restraints dug into his skin as he thrashed wildly. It couldn't be happening. It couldn't be real. No, no, no. Not real. Not real!

The creatures hissed at one another as they cut him down to the bone. Loki didn't want the upgrades any longer. He just wanted it to stop. Wanted the pain to stop. Stop, stop, stop. No.

Finally after what felt like eons the deformed creatures withdrew, setting aside their tools. For a moment he thought it might be over. He hoped it was over, but he was sorely mistaken.

He lay limply in his restraints; tears flowed down his cheeks as he sobbed, face twisted in agony. Pain thrummed through him, everything hurt to the point wherein he could no longer discern where the pain originated. He was light headed and his thoughts felt clouded. Was he going to die…?

The creatures moved around him, appearing as nothing more than a blur. There was the sound of metal scraping on metal before a new fiery pain burst through him. Something was being pushed into his wounds. Inserted. He could feel it. Arching off the table as much as he could in the cuffs Loki screamed.

He could feel his throat tearing, his vocal chords. As something was inserted alongside his bones, trailing up his limbs. Everything felt as if it were spinning, twisting, turning. It was wrong. It hurt. It hurt so much. No, no, no, please no.

Distantly Loki realized he had been screaming out those words, begging, pleading. The creatures never paused. There was something else being shoved into him. Pushing past the skin and muscles. Stop, stop, stop, stop, no, please he couldn't do it, it hurt, he couldn't, please father no- Suddenly it seemed to snap into place and his nerve endings were on fire.

It was agony. He was tearing apart and burning and freezing and he-

He just.

Couldn't.

Do.

It.

Something within him felt as if it had shattered and the shards were digging into his chest, his heart. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt. No, no, no, no. Please…

It hurt too much.

He couldn't…

His body was in agony as the creatures went on pulling and pushing and cutting and stitching. Upgrading him.

All he registered was pain.

It became too much. Darkness flooded his vision and dragged him into a blissful state of unconsciousness.

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