Only a day passes from the time that I am poisoned. Not much has changed in that day. Despite having received the antidote, I am still very much sick. My rest has been uneasy due to the fever that has continued to hold me. I've been fighting the nausea and headaches that my fever is giving me.
This morning, when I wake up, I am swept away instantly by both the nausea and migraine. I whimper softly. I feel a paw on my shoulder. I see dad sitting beside me. "Where's Taisley an' mom?" I ask out of curiosity.
"They are outside wi' th' kits. Are ya feelin' 'kay?" Dad asks.
"Do I look 'kay? My head is killin' me an' I just feel sick…" I moan.
"I know, Buck. Is there anything that I can get fer ya?" Dad asks.
"I wouldn't mind something ta 'elp my stomach. I really don't wanna throw up again," I mumble.
"Alright. I'll be right back," dad says. He darts out of the cave, intent on finding something that can help me.
Dad returns a short while later with some berries in his paws. He places the berries next to me. "These are Juniper berries. They'll 'elp wi' th' nausea," dad explains.
I pick the berries up and put them in my mouth. I eat them within seconds, hoping that they will indeed help. I just lay back. All I have to do is wait for the berries to take effect.
However, the berries don't stay in my system for long. I feel my stomach beginning to twist into knots. I squirm, whimpering from the pain. "Dad, I…I think 'm gonna…throw up…" I wail. My stomach seizes up. I try to raise myself from the cave floor, only to fall back. I can't even turn on my side. Dad knows that. He places his arm under me and lifts me up just as I lean forward and begin to retch. I'm vomiting on myself, basically. I know that. However, I can't stop. I just heave and retch as I continue to vomit. I start coughing, choking on the vomit that's rising from my throat. I feel dad's paw patting my back in an effort to stop my choking.
After a few minutes, I stop vomiting. I look up to dad, my face reddening at the realization that I just vomited on myself. "'m sorry…" I mumble. I look away, my ears folded down.
"Buck, 't isn't yer fault. Don't worry 'bout 't. Now, let's get ya cleaned up," dad smiles softly at me, trying to comfort me. I nod my head. Dad picks me up and brings me outside.
Everyone looks up, worried when they see me all covered with vomit. "Wot 'appened?" Mom asks.
"Buck threw up. 'm gonna take 'im ta th' rivah ta get 'im cleaned up," dad explains.
Mom merely nods her head as dad carries me away. In all honesty, I don't pay much attention to anyone. I just feel so out of it. I'm not really interested in anything other than getting better.
When dad brings me to the river, he lays me on the sand near the water. Dad takes some of the water and begins to wash the vomit out of my fur. I shiver slightly and shrink back from the cold feeling of the water. A few minutes later, my fur is clean. I look over to dad. "Thanks, um…ya mean wot ya said before, right? That 't isn't my fault?" I ask, my vision blurry.
"Yes, Buck. I mean wot I said. Just get some sleep. I'll carry ya back. I love ya, son," dad strokes my fur.
"I love ya, too, dad," I reply. I close my eye. The last thing I feel before I fall asleep is dad lifting me up into his strong arms.
As I sleep (which I am doing a lot of), I keep having dreams. I don't really care for the events of my dreams. Those dreams are what keeps me asleep. I am deeper in sleep because of the nightmares. The good news is that I haven't woken from the nightmares. I don't think that my family really knows the extent of my suffering.
When I start to wake up, though, after a few days of sleeping, I hear background whispering. My father's voice is among them. "'ow will…react…wot 'appened?" Dad seems to ask, though I don't know who he's asking. I am very much confused in my half-asleep state.
When I fully wake up, though, everything is made perfectly clear. My eye begins to widen when I feel a wetness coming from my pelt. I know exactly what happened. I wet myself. My cheeks turn red from humiliation. Come to think of it, though, I shouldn't be all that surprised. I must've been asleep for days. It stands to reason that I would wet myself.
I look to my left. I see Taisley, mom, and dad sitting beside me. They look worried. I look away, the red on my cheeks deepening. "Please…don't look at me…" I mumble, obviously embarrassed.
I feel a paw touch my shoulder. I look to see my dad looking at me. "Don't be embarrassed, son. Ya couldn't 'elp 't. We'll get ya cleaned up. It'll be like this nevah 'appened," dad assures me. Instead of getting me up, dad leaves to bring the water here.
When dad returns, he places the water a short distance from me. He cleans my fur and the area that I was sleeping in with the water. I look away the entire time, still embarrassed over this.
When dad finishes cleaning away the 'evidence', he places his paw on my shoulder again. "Buck, get back ta sleep. I know yer embarrassed, but ya don't 'ave ta be," dad smiles at me.
I nod my head, unconvinced but too tired to argue. I close my single eye. I fall asleep with my family sitting beside me.
When I wake up again, I am pleased to find that I didn't have a repeat of what happened before. The bad news is that I have to go again. Unlike the other times that I woke up, no one is sitting beside me. Everyone must be outside or something. An hour passes. At that point, I start to feel like I'm bursting. I don't know how long I can hold it in.
Dad comes in at the moment that I feel I may wet myself again. Dad can see the strain on my face. "Wot's wrong?" Dad asks.
"Um…I…uh…I kinda…'ave ta go…again…" I try to explain.
Dad's eyes widen with realization. "Alright. I'll 'elp ya," dad makes to help me up.
"No, I…I don't think I can make 't…I…" I look up at dad, panic clear in my single eye. I know that, by the time I can get up, I would wet myself.
Dad looks at me, his eyes softening. "It's fine. Just go. Don't worry. Everyone is a mile away from 'ere. I won't tell them 'bout this," dad tries to soothe me.
"Are ya sure?" I ask, my eye wide.
"Yes. Just go ahead," dad strokes my forehead.
So I do. Whimpering, I let the contents of my bladder gush out. A large puddle forms below me. Dad keeps stroking my forehead as I keep going. After a little while, my bladder finally empties. I keep whimpering, my face reddening from embarrassment. I sniffle, tears gathering in the corner of my eye.
"Buck, it's 'kay. I told ya before that I won't tell them. They will nevah know," dad assures me.
"But dad, I…I wet myself like some li'l kit!" I argue.
"Buck, kits aren't th' only ones that wet themselves. Even adults, especially those that are sick, 'ave accidents. It's quite common," dad points out.
I nod my head. Dad leaves the cave to get some stuff to clean my mess up with.
When dad returns, he takes the water to my side. He soaks up the wetness with some leaves and brings the soiled leaves outside to dispose of. Dad uses the water to clean my fur and the place where I sleep.
When everything is clean, dad looks at me. "I want ya ta get more sleep. I promise that I won't leave ya alone again fer more than a few minutes. Just sleep," dad strokes my forehead. I yawn, my teeth showing. I close my eye. I fall asleep to the feel of my dad stroking my forehead.