The corner of Revan's mouth turned up. "No, we're not. She's terrible at naming, if I must tell you… why does everyone always insist on rearranging the letters of my name? Imagine the humiliation Vaner must've gone through!"

Bastila glared at him and slapped him. Both in real life, and then in game.

Atton looked up from his screen, where he was dressing Kaliyo in some very unflattering outfits. "Because your name is awesome?" he guessed. "I mean, it inspires fear, and loyalty, and power, and perfection…" his face lit up as he gushed.

"No," Revan groaned, "But thanks for the compliment. It's nice to know I was a good leader. I put a lot of effort into that."

"Clearly you're more than a little obsessed," Malak observed dryly and glanced over at Atton's screen. Then he covered his mouth. "Ewww, even I'm not as much as a creep as you are! Seriously? You're one of those gamers who dress their female companions in slave outfits?"

Meetra grimaced at the thought. "Atton, I thought you were over that phase."

"I never went through that phase in the first place!" Atton insisted. "I was just looking at the outfits, since I'm curious to see how far this game will go with that stuff.." He pointed Meetra towards his screen. "See? I haven't even bought them yet!"

"Yet being the key word," Meetra pouted. "Do you really want me to give you another Jedi interrogation session?"

"You mean therapy?" Atton asked, "Because no thanks. I'm completely and 100% happy and confident with who I am right now, and have absolutely zero self-loathing problems, and I don't need anyone to intrude on that."

Revan fluttered his eyelashes. "Aww. Look at them flirt!"

"That's not what flirting is like, Revan," Meetra reminded him with a groan. "It's just more of Atton's issues resurfacing for the billionth time."

Bastila raised an eyebrow at Malak. "Are you sure you don't have similar issues, Malak? I seem to remember you wearing very thin shirts back in the day and more than enough cologne to choke a normal human being." Then she looked at his screen. "And GGAAAAHHH! Where are your clothes? People are going to see you like that! You realize how busy the fleet is, right?"

"I just want to prove I can fight without armor," Malak claimed.

Revan shook his head, his brown hair flying. "As your current best friend, I really don't believe you. Come on, let me escort you to Coruscant."

"Coruscant?" Meetra asked bitterly. "How funny that I'll never be able to travel there in this game unless I join the Republic. How wonderful that it was the location of where I was exiled."

"Sorry, Meetie," Malak looked truly sincere in his apology, which was more than a little terrifying due to him missing the lower half of his face, "If we ever end up making characters for the opposite faction, I'll take you there as a treat. And we'll buy some wedding armor, how about that?"

"What is it with you both and my personal life?" Meetra wondered. "You never seemed to care about it before."

Malak put a hand to his heart. "It's just that, we've begun to understand how much having a special someone in your life can mean to you. Revan loves Atton, I promise. And even if you and Atton aren't exactly a thing, I hope that you will reach out to your in-game love interest and make those pixels more than a little steamy."

"Atton tortured Jedi to death for a living, maybe I'm justified in that I don't think the both of you should get into anything serious too soon," Revan interrupted, much to the chagrin of Atton, whose mouth pressed into a firm line.

"You're disgusting," Meetra finally decided. "Both of you. You know what, I'm just going to take Vette with me to Dromund Kaas…"

Revan's ear perked at the planet name. "Wait. What?"

"DROMUND KAAS?!" Meetra wailed as it dawned on her. "WHY? Kill me now, someone, before the pain seeps into my brain and swallows me up whole and I faint and collapse to the floor, a ghost that no one remembers." She shook a finger at the loading screen. "You…" her voice came out low and threatening, edged with pain. "You will answer for what you did to my life. You will answer for ruining me and just about everyone that I knew. You Force-forsaken planet. You don't deserve to be in this game. You are a threat to the Republic, and I'm going to savor the moment I leave you. We better not have to go into the Dark Temple."

"You will answer for taking her from me," Atton added helpfully. "Aw, frack, I'm going there too. Would you mind grouping up?"

"Sure." Meetra grasped his hand so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "We'll face this sorry excuse for a planet as a team. We'll do it together…" Atton leaned closer to her, clutching onto her arm just as desperately. This time, neither Revan nor Malak had a response. They just looked at each other and shrugged.

However, Bastila did, and she raised an eyebrow again at the spectacle. "And this is why creating Empire characters was a mistake, both of you."

"Republic for the win!" Malak cheered with a sheepish smile—or, as close as he could get to a smile since he was kind of missing his jaw. Then, he slapped his own face. "I apologize. Do I have the right to say that anymore after, you know, destroying Taris and Dantooine and stuff?"

"Bad timing," Revan whispered, but he was interrupted by a loud groan from Meetra.

"Atton, you're underleveled," she scolded him. "No wonder you're dying so much. Not even your overpowered Rattataki companion can save you. Do you even know how to play the game?"

Revan stared at her, appalled. "Well, I guess she's done angsting," he noted to Malak.

Heat rushed to Atton's face and he held his hands up. "Yeah—I mean, yeah, of course I know how to play the game! Not that I know what any of these buttons do," he said, randomly mashing buttons and accidentally healing himself.