CHAPTER TWO
A Special Arrival
~We don't deal with outsiders very well
They say newcomers have a certain smell
Yeah, trust issues, not to mention
They say they can smell your intentions
You're lovin' on the freakshow sitting next to you
You'll have some weird people sitting next to you
You'll think "How did I get here, sitting next to you?"
But after all I've said, please don't forget~
- Heathens, Twenty One Pilots.
I hid the journal under my mattress after I finished writing, I knew that greys often cleaned our rooms while we ate, but I had discovered a small place where they never cleaned to stash away my dirty little secret. This was my life now, fancy captivity. I got into my purple dress, taking my time to lace it as I did each morning, it was my little routine, the only vestige of normalcy that I had in this madhouse.
I checked my reflection in the mirror and wondered how I had gotten to this point, my hair was long, yes, but it looked weird on my now gaunt face, I was too thin, too pale and my dark hair only served to remind me of Morticia Addams. I looked like a Tim Burton version of Morticia Addams, a living dead, which technically was not completely untrue.
The thin silver chain around my neck with the small heart pendant, a pandora bracelet with several charms and my gold class ring on my right ring finger were the only things I had from my past life, the amber stone on the ring shone eerily under the fire lights that illuminate my room. Those three personal items were the only things that I could say that I really owned and that gave me a small sense of home, I tended to fiddle with the charms of my bracelet whenever I was nervous and clutched them tightly as I went to sleep as I knew that my mother and I had matched a few of those.
My eyes looked too big on my face and I couldn't be bothered with makeup to hide the dark circles underneath, I was mostly dead anyways so what was the point in trying.
I got out of my room and walked to the dining room, the others were already mostly there. I sat next to Dinah and offered the witch a small smile, they all thought I was severely depressed, which I probably was, so most of them didn't push me much. Mrs. Gallant glanced my way briefly before returning her attention to her cube.
I played with my fork as I tried to imagine my life back home.
"This will be our last breakfast," said Venable, "We will be cutting back to one meal a day."
Her announcement was met with protest, I honestly couldn't care less, I hated the fucking cubes, the less I had to see of them, the better. But the others were not thinking like me, they were actually considering going outside and killing one another, I briefly understood why people died in horror movies, but since I was way past the point of caring, and it was probably way to early in the morning I tuned them out and continued to focus on my cube.
"What do you say, Alexandra?" asked a voice in front of me, I looked up to see Coco looking at me curiously, I shrugged.
"I'm not really in the mood," I answered politely, not really knowing what she was asking, she huffed at me and crossed her arms.
"You're never in the mood for anything, if I didn't know better I'd say you're a ghost," she said, I rolled my eyes at her and crossed my arms too, raising a single eyebrow.
"I've been trapped in here for almost two years with a bunch of strangers that only live to complain, forgive me if my company is not the best at this moment in time," I deadpanned.
"Well we wouldn't be strangers if you had taken interest in starting to know us," Gallant pointed out, I looked his way, a bored expression on my face.
"Not really interested, but thanks for the offer," I said, Gallant was about to say something back to me when the alarms started blaring.
I made myself scarce after the damned breakfast, Michael Langdon had arrived and I'm sure he was going to be able to smell my fear from afar. I hid in my room, laying on my bed just thinking about happier times, trying to keep my thoughts positive, when I had said I wanted a vacation, this wasn't what I had in mind.
There was a knock on my door.
I stood to find Mallory on the other side, I offered her a small smile.
"Can I help you with anything?" I asked, she nodded.
"Dinner is going to be served tonight, Ms. Venable says that assistance is mandatory," she explained.
I nodded and thanked her before closing the door and walking back to my closet. I browsed through my selection of dresses. I picked the most modest one, I was not going to attract Michael's attention to me, not if I could help it, not when I was not sure of the path I wanted to take.
I walked into the dining room and felt a strange sense of deja vu, almost like in the morning, I sat next to Dinah and proceeded to ignore everyone around me. Once we were all in the dining room a plate of steaming soup was placed in front of me, it reminded me too much of that time with the Stu soup and I slowly pushed the plate away from me, appetite totally gone.
"You're going to die if you don't eat, girl," said Evie Gallant looking at me disapprovingly, I shrugged.
"I'm not really hungry," I mumbled as my eyes began prickling, I was not going to cry in front of these people.
I was not.
I almost tumbled back on my chair as the snakes came to life, I could hear my heart pounding in my ears and tears were really close to fall from my eyes. I was near my breaking point, I could feel it.
Thankfully my small panic attack was being overshadowed by the snakes and the fact that Emily kept asking Venable who was in her office. I tried to tune out their conversation as I hoped for the dinner to end, unfortunately for me, after dinner we were all ushered to the library, I took the furthest spot from the entrance, but not completely separated by the rest of the group as to not stick out as a sore thumb.
Michael walked in several minutes later in all his long hair, red eyeshadow glory, he was devastatingly gorgeous in person, I could see how his appearance could become a problem in Outpost 3. Thankfully I had always been a being of low sex drive, always veering towards grey asexuality than any other preference, boyfriends I had had a few, but none had really awakened an interest in me, and sex was just means to an end, pleasurable if done right, but something I could definitely live without. My outpost mates, apparently, not so much.
I remained uptight for as long as Michael explained the situation in the outside world, what he was saying was not news for me, but listening to him actually saying it just served to cement the idea that my life was the actual horror story. I managed to avoid his gaze deliberately enough, Gallant was stupid enough to propose himself to go first in the interviews and I sort of felt glad for it.
Everything was coming to an end soon, while I was not a fan of dying, the stress of actually staying alive was slowly killing me.
I returned to my room in silence, hoping to not be disturbed anymore until I needed to show up in the morning. Once inside I locked my door behind me and slid down to the floor covering my mouth with my hands as I tried to conceal the sobs that escaped me.
I was probably going to die a painful death and there was going to be no way around it.