Disclaimer: (DO YOU READ THIS?!) I own nothing but that bleeding plot bunny that refuses to leave. YEARS! IT'S BEEN HOPING FOR F**KING YEARS! Please…someone tell me how to kill it...

Rating: M… Nothing really wrong in this chapter though. This chapter might be PG… or it might not be. I don't really watch PG shows so how would I know?

I hope everyone else loves the story and reviews.

Pairings: (Yay...more formalities…) VD/DD LMD/DM ((Yep)) HP/DD/DM RW/HG Others.

The Meddling Old Witch and the Spell.

Entering the new life of Harry Potter.

Minerva had followed the muggles into the house, sneaking up behind them while they were unawares. She was rather proud of her sneaking skills, not bad for a woman of her age. Once the muggles had settled in, the horse faced woman playing with the fat, pink blob of a child and the fat pink blob of a father on the couch, taking up enough room for three to simply read the paper, Minerva looked for Harry. The toddler was nowhere in sight. After walking around for a few moments the old witch noticed that the cupboard under the stairs doorway was cracked and light came from inside. She could hear sniffling…

Horror passed through the old witch's bones as she knew what she would find, but she had to be sure. Taking a peek inside she was what she was afraid of, Harry was lying on a filthy baby bed inside of the cupboard, crying his eyes out. Upon his small face was a rather large red mark in the shape of a very large hand. Minerva felt her anger sore and she turned, marching straight back to the living room where those horrid muggles sat calmly as Harry cried. The old witch raised her wand and used all her will power and all her strange as she recited the spell. The muggles both turned in horror as they heard a voice from behind them, the horse faced woman clutching the fat blob to her thin chest. Harry had come out from his cupboard at the sound of the spell and Minerva thrust him foreword, making sure both muggles could see the toddler. She then touched Harry with her wand to set the spell and said his name for good measure. "Harry Potter".

The result was near instantaneous. Mrs. Dursley pushed her fat brat from her lap and through her fear, reached out and pulled Harry to her lap, protecting him with her thin arms. "Whoever you are, BE GONE! GO AWAY!" Petunia said, her eyes wild. Vernon stood up and backed away, pulling his wife with him even as Dudley started to cry. Minerva released the "notice me not" spell and then gave a small bow. "Forgive me, it seems I have the wrong house" she said before promptly walking off, feeling get work was done.

Four years and some months later.

Harry's 6th birthday party.

Dudley's POV

Dudley watched as his cousin opened all of his birthday gifts and as all of his friends smiled and laughed. They would all be getting cake next, well... Everyone but Dudley. His mother had said that he was still far too fat and that it was shameful and disgusting. She had also given him the chore of cleaning up after the party, in order to help him lose weight.

As Dudley watched his cousin open all of his many, many gift he wanted to cry. For his last birthday his parents had gotten him his school supplies and his clothes. Only his aunt Marge had given him a real gift and she hadn't even bothered to show up. No one had bothered to show up and there had been no cake or balloons. But, his aunt was here today and her gift to Harry was far better than her gift to Dudley had been. She had given Dudley a brown toy car and a cheap black notebook. She had given Harry a toy car race track, five shiny new cars for it and a gift card with £50 on it for the local sweets shop. As his mother called all the children for cake Dudley walked over to the presents, making sure that the others weren't watching him. He then picked up one of Harry's new shiny toy cars, looking at it. In a sudden fit of anger he grabbed the small metal door on it and broke it off.

There was a gasp and then the sound of Harry starting to cry. "Aunty... Dudley broke my new car. The p... Pretty reeeeed ONE!" He then started to cry loudly causing Petunia to run over and pull him onto her arms, rocking him and stroking his hair. Dudley dropped the car door just as his mother's shrill voice rang out. "V-Vernon! She then glared at Dudley. She did not wish to cause a scene with all of her precious Harry's friends around. "I'll speak with him love" Vernon said, walking over to Dudley and appearing to place a calm hand on him. In reality the hand was gripping Dudley's shoulder in a painful grip. "Come along, we need to talk…"

Vernon let Dudley up stairs and to his room, the smallest room in the house. Once there the adult shut the door and took off his belt, folding it in half. "Drop your drawer's worthless vandal. I'll teach you a lesson you shan't soon forget". Dudley complied after a few moments.

No one commented on his absence for the rest of the party, even when Vernon came back down without him.