My Vietnam
9 August 2014
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This is a FFVII fic by klepto_maniac0. I own no concepts and no characters except the ones you've never heard of, which means they're ones I've made. I freely admit I will take liberties with the FFVII canon because this is an alternate universe fic (in case you haven't figured that out already.) That's why some details are different, some events are ignored, and some people don't exist or act in a different capacity. Ain't fanfic fun?
"My Vietnam" (henceforth shortened to MYV) is a continuation of "Put Your Lights On" (PYLO), but it is not necessary to have read PYLO before reading this story. Whenever PYLO-specific events are referenced, the pertinent chapter will be indexed in the author's note.
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She liked to push my buttons
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"Who are you?"
"I'm Toriko. Your daughter."
Today, the blank incomprehension lasted more than a minute. Toriko waited patiently as her mother puzzled through her words, and on a different level, Toriko picked up the scattering pieces of memory and put them where Seishi could find them. Seishi's thought processes themselves were still quick, but more information went missing every day.
"You look very much like I did at your age," said Seishi when she came out of it. "For a moment, I thought I was seeing myself."
"Well, then I know that I'll be beautiful when I grow up," said Toriko, keeping her voice placid.
Seishi smiled, but it was slightly vague. Toriko tamped down a surge of bitter disappointment as Seishi blinked and looked at her uncomprehendingly again. It was the third time today. And it had been getting more frequent over the past two weeks.
"Who are you?" Seishi asked. Toriko's eyes started stinging.
"I'm...the maid," said Toriko, looking away. "Please excuse me."
And before Seishi could say anything, Toriko bowed and left the room.
She walked outside, where the sun shone too bright and cheerful. Toriko walked briskly around the lake; in the afternoon, no one was around except for the entertainers and Blue Lotus staff, and everyone knew not to bother her when she was walking. Though she made exceptions for certain people.
"Yoko," she called as she approached the main structure. Now that Toriko was here, Seishi had banished the handmaidens to Nanashi's service, but they were always at Seishi's beck and call. And by extension, Toriko's. The handmaiden appeared by the time Toriko came up to the building proper.
"Yes, Young Mistress?" Yoko asked very formally.
"Mother is...far afield," said Toriko, and saw a mix of consternation and grim satisfaction flash across Yoko's face. "I need to go out. Take care of her while I'm gone."
"Of course, Young Mistress," said Yoko with a little bow. A very, very little bow. Toriko let it slide; in Yoko's place, she'd be taking the little victories where they came. "Take as long as you need. Tsukiko and I have things very well in hand."
The little smirk in Yoko's voice made something flip in Toriko's head, but fortunately for Yoko, Toriko was so weary that she couldn't stir herself to smack her. On the other hand...
"Tell the dressers to prepare suitable attire for me," said Toriko, making Yoko blink. "I am your mistress's full-blooded daugher and I will go about in fashion that pleases her. In fact... I think I'll wear the furisode that Mother gave me."
Yoko bowed again, but this time dipped her head low enough to hide the anger in her eyes. Toriko looked down at her and didn't care. Both handmaidens had always been above themselves in regard to their relationship with Seishi, and no matter how much time they spent with her, they would never, ever be her actual daughters.
But the vindictiveness was short-lived and puffed away between one breath and the next. Toriko just didn't have the energy for it. More than anything right, she didn't want to be here. It was a terrible thing to think with Seishi being as ill as she was, but if Seishi looked at her one more time and didn't know who she was...
"How badly does she want to forget me?"
It was fortunate that it was springtime, because one of the biggest events of the Wutaiese entertainment district was the Festival of Fairies. The most talented geisha, the most promising maiko, and the most accomplished of musicians (along with acrobats, more general sorts of dancers, magicians, and other such folk) would dress up in their finest and perform on floating stages that sailed sedately down the river that kept Wutai nourished even in the depths of war. The Festival was a week away, but already the entertainment district was packed with visitors from near and far who came to gawk at the oncoming spectacle. Young noblewomen were out too, scarcely aware that they were also an attraction as they greedily observed the geisha for fashion tips of the upcoming year. Toriko planned to blend in as one of them, though she had no plans to actually socialize. If she could lose herself in the glittering panopoly for even an hour, it would be enough to keep her from losing her mind.
Seishi's gorgeous furisode of autumn leaves and ripples in a pond was too long and heavy to wear in this weather, so after consulting with Nanashi, Toriko selected a lighter weight furisode and a lighter fukuro obi instead of a fully-embroidered maru obi. The furisode was blue on blue and of such a shade that it reduced the greenness of Toriko's eyes; blue-gray eyeliner helped even more. More makeup softened the Continental angles of Toriko's jaw and cheekbones, and enough Wutaiese had thin noses that hers would escape scrutiny.
"You look like a proper ojousama," said Nanashi when the dressers were finished pulling, tucking, and wrapping everything into place. Toriko privately felt like a sausage stuffed into a too-tight casing. For all the fitted angles and tight seams of Continental clothing, she could at least move. When Toriko tried to take a step, the sheath-like construction of the long kimono more than halved her stride and she nearly fell over. As she caught herself, she nearly tripped again but this time due to surprise. A waft of familiar sweet rot had reached her nose.
"Have you forgotten how to take small steps, Tori-chan?"
Toriko straightened. To her mild surprise, Rude was carrying Seishi, balancing her on his hip so she could sit upright like a queen. Only a large and strong man could adopt such a posture and make it look easy.
"I got out of the habit," said Toriko, suddenly very self-conscious.
Seishi looked her up and down. Toriko was aware of the dressers silently awaiting her judgment, of Nanashi standing nearby with her arms folded, and of Yoko and Tsukiko flanking Seishi. They always moved so easily in their kimono that Toriko had never realized how constrictive the garments actually were. She probably looked like a cow stomping around in a silk dress.
"You look very lovely," said Seishi, her voice soft. As Toriko looked at her with mild distrust, Seishi said, "That is exactly what I would have chosen for you if we were going out together."
"Thank you, Mother," said Toriko with a little bow.
"I recommend the Flower Markets and the parks by the palace," said Seishi.
"What?"
"You're going out, aren't you?"
"Oh... Um..." Suddenly Toriko felt very foolish. The need to get away had diminished with the time taken to get dressed, and it looked like Seishi was lucid again. "I don't have to."
"You look wonderful," said Seishi, though it sounded more like a declaration than a compliment. "And you should be seen. Take some money with you."
"Mother, that's not—"
"I want you to go out, spend extravagantly, break hearts, and then come back and tell me all about it," said Seishi with a little smile. "Were I well, we'd be doing the exact same thing together. Indulge me, Tori-chan."
There wasn't much to do at that point and even less to say. Helplessly Toriko bowed and left the Blue Lotus with a purse of gil and no idea what to do with it.
As soon as she stepped out of the gate, Toriko drew notice from the tourists and denizens of the entertainment district. She was noticeably younger than most girls who were wearing floor-sweeping furisode and the complexity of her kanzashi was unrivaled, making her look fabulously rich. Several tourists attempted to take her picture, but a frosty glare was enough to stop them from raising their phones even fifteen feet away.
"I'd prefer there to be as little evidence of my stay in Wutai as possible... Rude told me that Rufus has it about that I'm on an extended vacation for my health, but that's no reason to be flaunting my status."
"Besides, I'd prefer not to deal with any...stupidity...over my parentage."
Toriko suddenly wondered what Sephiroth would have made of her wearing a kimono.
She walked along the river until she found a bench unoccupied by tourists or couples and took a moment to sit and think about what she wanted to do. All her memories of Wutai were varying degrees of unpleasant, colored heavily by the normalization of filth and ever-present hunger. Toriko remembered standing in the fish market and imagining the taste of mussels, which were common around Wutai but still too expensive for young Toriko and Seishi.
Ah, but the food of dreams, the stuff that was truly out of reach, was not something very expensive at all. It was simply that no vendor would ever sell it to them, for this food was only available during festival time and the vendors were always thronged with paying customers. They regularly ran out, but little Tori-chan had never stopped dreaming about what this food might taste like...
Her mind made up, Toriko went in search of Dragon's Beard candy.
It didn't take long to find a vendor. The theatrical creation process of Dragon's Beard candy always drew a crowd, and for a while Toriko was content to find a place in the crowd and watch the tanned old vendor expertly twist the thickened syrup, dip it in flour, and then magically pull, pull, pull until the golden rope of sugar had turned into a thick lock of sugar-coated hairs. She felt a strange sense of deja vu, almost seeing the image from two angles as the vendor expertly chopped and wrapped the candy around minced nuts and other sweetened things. Back in the old days, Seishi had needed to drag her away from the stalls, but now Toriko could watch for as long as she wanted. And even better...
"One, please," she said, pulling money from the heavy purse her mother had given her. The vendor barely spared her a glance, but bowed to her deeply as he gave her the longed-for candy, wrapped in waxed paper to keep the sugar mixture from ruining her clothes. The thrill of sweets and respect from a Wutaiese citizen, however cursory, was enough to make Toriko smile. She extricated herself from the crowd and found a fountain with a ledge wide enough to sit on. Unconscious of appearances, Toriko set the candy on her lap and took her time examining the candy before dissecting it with her fingertips. It was so fine that it almost melted in her hands and absently she licked her fingers as they became sticky.
"Granulated sugar, maltose, peanuts, sugar cane, seasame... So simple, and yet so..."
A shiver of delight went through her. Toriko picked up the light, soft candy and began to eat it as carefully as she could make herself. Not to spare her clothes (though she did consciously eat over the paper, so as not to drop sugar everywhere); every nibble of delicious, long-denied sweetness sent a ripple of pure happiness through her body. There was nothing in the Continents that tasted like this. She wanted to enjoy it for as long as possible.
Toriko was so involved in enjoying her candy that she didn't realize she was being watched. And not by Rude. He was no doubt nearby, but Toriko suddenly became aware that there was a girl perching at her side, her knees up to her chest and her face in her hands. Toriko looked at her slowly, a creeping sense of awkwardness marring the edge of her pleasure.
"Wow," said the girl. "You act like you've never eaten that before."
"I haven't," said Toriko, a little jolt going through her as she recognized the girl. She was longer of limb now, but there was no mistaking the fire in those bright gray eyes. "Princess Yuffie."
"Where've you been, a cave?" Yuffie asked. She obviously didn't recognize Toriko, but then Toriko was dressed very differently and had grown quite a bit. Toriko decided not to make an issue of it.
"No. Just very far away."
"But Dragon's Beard is everywhere," said Yuffie. "The next thing you're going to tell me, you haven't eaten gai daan jai."
Gai daan jai! At once, the puffy egg waffle popped to life in Toriko's mind and her jaws suddenly ached as her salivary glands went into overdrive.
"Oh my gawd," said Yuffie, her voice going flat with shock. "You poor thing."
The next thing Toriko knew, she was hiking up the edge of her kimono and running to keep up with Yuffie, who had seized her hand and was yanking her through the crowd, heading with unerring accuracy for the nearest gai daan jai vendor. The vendor recognized Yuffie and to Toriko's surprise, greeted her rather familiarly, treating her more like a neighborhood brat than the daughter of the Lord of Wutai. They got two enormous unbroken sheets of gai daan jai, each perfectly made with no crushed or unevenly cooked bubbles, and though Toriko intended to savor hers, Yuffie wolfing her snack down made her speed up—like hell she was going to give the Princess an opportunity to steal her food, though Yuffie had paid for them both. Apparently she was running around with money too.
"What else have you not eaten?" Yuffie asked when they were done.
Thus started the gastronomic tour. Toriko had a bear of a sweet tooth that Sephiroth rarely let her indulge, mostly because he thought she was unmanageable if she had too much sugar. Toriko begged to differ. It wasn't her fault that her father didn't fully appreciate sweets. Candy and confectionary loomed large in Toriko's imagination, probably due to never being able to have any at the age when such things were most appealing. Mid-afternoon found Toriko and Yuffie sitting under a tree, holding their aching stomachs.
"Oh my gawwwd," groaned Yuffie. "Why did we eat so much?"
"I regret nothing," said Toriko, trying to discreely loosen her obi. The fullness was getting oppressive. "Why did you try to keep up with me?"
"Are you kidding? We got to eat gai daan jai, yakgwa, halo halo, taiyaki, taiyaki with ICE CREAM, and ALL the bingtanghulu." Yuffie burped raucously and laughed. "My dad would have a fit. He says I can't have sugar."
"Mine too," said Toriko, and they laughed before lapsing into companionable silence. The branches of the willow tree above them swayed in a perfectly cooling breeze and Toriko felt something leave her. Something she hadn't even known she was carrying. She was sure she wouldn't miss it, whatever it was.
"So why are you in disguise?" asked Yuffie suddenly.
"What?"
"You're all fancy," said Yuffie, gesturing at her. "I didn't say anything at first because I figured you had a reason, but now it's just us. So why are you in disguise?"
"I'm...not in disguise," said Toriko, not sure what Yuffie was thinking. "I'm visiting my aunt."
"Oh? Your Aunt Seishi?"
"Yes," said Toriko. "She's, umm..." Toriko sighed. "She's not doing well."
"Oh," said Yuffie quietly. "I'm sorry."
"It's alright," said Toriko, plucking at her sleeve. "She's been sick for a really long time. So... I'm here."
"That sucks," said Yuffie, and as Toriko nodded she said, "I was really sad when my mom died. But you're going to lose your aunt and your dad in the same year, huh?"
Toriko nodded, feeling another pang of guilt. She really hoped Sephiroth was alright. He was strong and valuable and would be kept alive as long as possible, but if she took too much longer to find him, he might not ever forgive her.
"Well...even if he doesn't, he's got an entire lifetime for me to change his mind."
"You wanna get something else to eat?"
Toriko stared openmouthed at Yuffie until the younger girl scowled. "What?" Yuffie blustered.
"There's no human way you could digest that quickly," said Toriko.
"Yeah, well, I'm full of surprises," said Yuffie flippantly. Bouncing to her feet, she said, "And there are more to—urk."
Yuffie's face took on an alarming color. Horrified, Toriko attempted to turn her toward the canal before Yuffie vomited spectacularly. Her attempt backfired. Like Sephiroth, Toriko occasionally forgot her strength when alarmed, but instead of making Yuffie the first domino in a supermarket shelf collapse, Toriko accidentally shoved her into the canal.
Actually, it wasn't so much as a shove as a throw. Yuffie, still vomiting, went flying through the air and hit the water with a thunderous splash. Toriko covered her mouth in horror. The canal was wide and Toriko was strong, so Yuffie came up spluttering in the middle of it. Of course it was Yuffie, so she also came up screaming.
"What the hell, Tori-nee?! What did you do that for?!"
"I'm so sorry!" Toriko shouted back. "Hold on, I'll find you something to grab onto!"
A blur out of the corner of her eye made Toriko turn and see a man launching himself into the canal. He disappeared into the water in a long, flat dive and popped up near Yuffie like an otter. He towed the flailing, shrieking princess back to the edge of the canal with ease, ignoring every invective that came out of her mouth. Toriko reached down, tucking her long sleeve out of the way, and offered her hand. He looked at her in surprise, but took it easily enough and gaped in shock as Toriko hauled him effortlessly out of the water.
"Well, no wonder you sent the princess flying," he said with amusement, setting Yuffie down on the ground. Yuffie sputtered and coughed, glaring at Toriko.
"It really was an accident," said Toriko apologetically.
"How is it that every time I see you, I end up in the water?" Yuffie asked sourly. She took off her overshirt and wrung it out. "Anyway. No one looks that horrified when they do stuff on purpose, so I'll accept you're sorry. But that still wasn't cool, Tori-nee."
Toriko looked at the man. He had taken off his shirt and outer robe and was using both to dry Yuffie, who seemed both annoyed and used to the attention. He was superbly muscled and not bad on the eyes, but what really caught Toriko's eye was that he was covered in the brightest, richest tattoos she had ever seen. Red and gold carp threw themselves through swirling waves of blue and white, so beautifully rendered that they seemed to swim over his skin. From his forearms to his neck, he was completely covered in ink except for two wide bars going down his spine and down the front of his chest. Rather than be jarring and divisive, it made the colors pop more.
"That's enough, Staniv," said Yuffie, squirming out of his grasp.
"You're going to catch a cold, princess," he said patiently. "You should come back to the palace and change. Or do you want to walk around in wet shoes all day?"
He glanced up, looking at Toriko strangely, and she averted her eyes to hide her staring. He stood up slowly, following her former line of sight.
"Yes, I'm a former gangster," he said in a voice suffused with long-standing suffering and annoyance. "Yes, I'm loyal to Lord Godo. Yes, I still have all my fingers."
And he held them up for Toriko's inspection.
Toriko was so surprised at his litany that she nearly laughed. She managed to stuff it back, covering her mouth with her sleeve.
"I apologize," she said formally, still not trusting herself to laugh. She fell back on coquettishness since her sleeve was up anyway. "I was so lost in admiring your beautiful artwork that I forgot myself."
Staniv blinked, looking confused. "Oh... Well, thank you."
"If I may, what is the significance?"
"Originally they were flowers," he said, gesturing at the dark waves swirling over his skin. "A sign of loyalty to the old group. But when I came into the Lord's service, I had them covered up. The carp are to remind me of the value of hard work. The water washes everything undesirable away."
"Very poetic," Toriko said sincerely. Truth be told, she was envious. Right now the 00 tattoos on both hands were covered by her sleeves, but she'd never been so aware of how ugly they looked. Something as lovely as the fish and waves, she wouldn't mind having.
"You think the ones on his chest are cool," piped Yuffie, "you should see the ones on his—"
"ALRIGHT, Princess! We're going home!" Staniv half-yelled, a fine blush heating up his cheeks.
"-butt!"
Staniv laughed awkwardly and Toriko clamped her mouth shut to keep herself from cackling. In a strained tone of voice, he said, "I apologize for the behavior of the princess, my lady...?"
"T—Kotori," said Toriko lamely. How could she have not considered this earlier? Kotori? Really?
"As though that isn't the most transparent fake name ever!"
Yuffie grinned openly as Staniv bowed. "Lady Kotori, it's been an honor. Unfortunately, the princess and I must take our—"
"She's running," Toriko pointed out as Yuffie rolled her eyes and sprinted away.
"She's—Princess!" Staniv threw a 'why me' glance up to the heavens and rapidly redressed. His clothes only slightly damp, he nevertheless cut an elegant figure in dark blue and dove gray. Toriko estimated he was probably in his early twenties. Bobbing politely to Toriko, he took off after the rapidly disappearing child.
"What was it that Mother said?" Toriko thought bemusedly. "Spend extravagantly, break hearts..."
She abruptly realized she hadn't thought about her mother in hours. Guiltily Toriko cast her thought in the general direction of the Blue Lotus. There were lots of people in the way, but even though her mother was not 'talented', there was still a bond between Seishi and Toriko that made finding Seishi's mind very quick. Seishi was still conscious and healthy (well, all things considered), so Toriko decided to continue her day.
She went down to the floating flower markets that Seishi had recommended and marveled at the selection of plants from around the world. There was a canal tour that went up to the palace, so Toriko hopped on and enjoyed the scenery from the river. As much as people complained that Wutai was selling out to the invaders, Toriko appreciated how clean everything was (though it might have been due to peace instead of commercialization; Wutai after the war had been...rough).
The parks were splendid indeed and Toriko particularly enjoyed the Pagoda even though it was not open to the public. The trees around it were filled with cackling magpies, which were the mascots of the Kisaragi family and seemed very appropriate considering Yuffie's behavior. Toriko glanced over at the palace, wondering if Staniv had caught Yuffie and made her change into dry shoes.
It was twilight when Toriko returned to the Blue Lotus, preceded by porters with packages of gifts. There were some presents for the Tuesti family for all the care they'd shown her, a beautiful blue malachite carving of a pantheround for Rufus, and a bolt of dyed silk that Toriko knew would be amazing in Elaine's hands. She felt pleased with herself, if not overwhelmingly happy. And it was nice to get out.
With the aid of the dressers, Toriko changed into a light and comfortable yukata and went to see Seishi in her little house. With every step she took, however, she wondered what she was getting into, or more specifically, who she would be talking to. Toriko sent her thought ahead and found that Seishi's memories were scattered again, but that didn't give her any clue as to her mother's actual state of mind.
"Mother," said Toriko, opening the door to the little house "I'm back. How are you feeling?"
The first thing that Toriko noticed was that there were an awful lot of people in the house. Yoko was there, but so was Tsukiko, Nanashi, and a wizened old woman whom Toriko assumed was the doctor. Seishi was lying on a Continental-style sofa, wearing a plain red robe and holding a pipe. Upside-down and backwards.
"Mother yourself, bitch," she said sharply to Toriko. "And get out of my kimono before I burn it off you. You haven't got the right to wear anything so fine."
Toriko stared. Nanashi started for Toriko, looking worried, but Toriko walked right up to Seishi.
"Who do you think I am?" She asked her mother.
"You're a filthy ainoko," said Seishi with a sneer. "Tell me, how does your mother feel about lying with white devils before it got 'popular'?"
"Does she really talk about ainoko like this when I'm not around?" Toriko asked Nanashi.
"Never," said Nanashi, looking at Seishi with alarm. "This is new. I've never seen this before."
Toriko took a deep breath and sent her thought into her mother's head again, but this time instead of glossing over the information, took a good hard look. Getting in deep made her nervous. The first seven years of her life, Toriko had spent every waking moment in her mother's head, only barely aware she was her own person. With Sephiroth, there were definitely boundaries and a give-and-take in their mental communication, but for Toriko, reading Seishi was like falling into a well.
It was worse than Toriko had feared. Seishi's thought processes were starting to break down, and in lieu of logic and reason, delusions and hallucinations were moving in. The yukata Toriko was wearing was the same color as a hated rival's from twenty years ago, hence the intense hostility. Normally Seishi would have realized that something was off and gone quiet to figure it out, but now her emotions ran near the surface unchecked.
"Well, let's fight that emotion with some others."
She gave her mother the memories of their time together. The last two weeks were easiest to bring up, but so steeped in grief and the impending knowledge of her death that Seishi's mind reeled from them. So Toriko tried memories of an earlier time, when she'd been very small, but even then Seishi seemed confused—she wasn't old enough to have a child. Desperately, Toriko reached into her mother's scattered memories and drew her trump card, the thing that had haunted and scarred her mother for years...
…The men in blue suits flanked Toriko as she left, her small back as straight a soldier's. Somehow she looked forbidding despite her age, but she was still so small. From the top of the stairs, Seishi gritted her teeth against the cry that tried to claw out her throat. This was right. It was for the best. Because nothing was worse than all this for a young girl. Seishi had the okiya and Okaa-San, but the War had broken so many things and no okiya would take an ainoko child, even one as smart as Tori-chan. It was for the best that Toriko never see her mother again...
In the present, Seishi gasped. Tears began to spill out of her one good eye.
"Mother, you're having a nightmare," said Toriko, her voice as gentle as her mental touch had been forceful. Taking Seishi's thin, skeletal hand in both of hers, Toriko said, "I'm back. And I won't leave, I promise."
"Tori-chan," Seishi gasped, lucidity making her gray iris gleam.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Did I... Did I say anything?" Her hand tightened spasmodically. "Did I do anything to you?"
"Like what, Mother?" Toriko lied perfectly. "I just came back. You were having a nightmare, so I woke you."
Seishi passed her hand over her face. She looked around. Toriko glanced around in her peripheral vision and found that Yoko, Tsukiko, and the doctor had disappeared. "Where are—"
"I had a wonderful day, Mother," said Toriko, drawing Seishi's focus. "Thank you so much."
"I... I'm glad," said Seishi, sinking slowly back onto the couch. Still holding Toriko's hand, she closed her eye and said, "Tell me what you did."
So Toriko talked, being as detailed as she could, and kept on talking until Seishi's shaking mind stilled and ordered itself into the shape Toriko was familiar with. Mentally Toriko wrapped her thoughts around the cracked, fraying, melting pieces, trying to hold them together without crushing them into an unmanageable whole. Seishi would really go mad then. But Toriko could feel the connections dying. It felt like sand was slipping through her fingertips. In the darkness of the house, Toriko let the tears fall from her eyes.
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a/n: happy happy happy WHAM
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I recently came back from a trip overseas, so my mental image of Wutai has been influenced by the old parts of Beijing and the canals of Amsterdam, though there won't be cavalier cyclists in Wutai's streets.
Anyway, I love me some Asian candy and sweet street food, so I had a lot of fun imagining all the delicious food that I made Toriko and Yuffie eat. I recommend you look them up if the terms are unfamiliar. If you live in an area with a high Asian population, you should seek out all the things and eat them. Yes. I have some pictures on the Pinterest board, which you can find on my profile.
But don't eat them all at once. Yuffie is why. I'm sorry Yuffie, but your hurling (ha!) will always be funny to me.
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