My Vietnam

21 September 2014

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This is a FFVII fic by klepto_maniac0. I own no concepts and no characters except the ones you've never heard of, which means they're ones I've made. I freely admit I will take liberties with the FFVII canon because this is an alternate universe fic (in case you haven't figured that out already.) That's why some details are different, some events are ignored, and some people don't exist or act in a different capacity. Ain't fanfic fun?

"My Vietnam" (henceforth shortened to MYV) is a continuation of "Put Your Lights On" (PYLO), but it is not necessary to have read PYLO before reading this story. Whenever PYLO-specific events are referenced, the pertinent chapter will be indexed in the author's note.

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Seventh SOLDIER

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It was very hard for SOLDIERS of any class to kill themselves, which meant that the ones who wanted to had to get creative. And if one was a medic, one could be creative indeed. Zenri's method was very simple and almost elegant in its effectiveness. He put a grenade in his mouth, tied a piece of twine from the pin to the door, and then threw his fully packed kit at the door hard enough to shut it. It was like yanking a tooth. Or it would have been, if Dulles hadn't seen the open door, gone to shut it, and felt unusual resistance when he pulled. When he looked in, the kit was already flying. He saw the twine and the metallic glint of the grenade in Zenri's mouth, purple light glinting off the pineappled surface and gleaming in the teartracks down Zenri's dark face.

So Dulles threw the door open, dodged the kit, and then tackled Zenri before he could pull the pin manually.

Now Zenri was sedated courtesy of Deepground, and Director Genesis assured Dulles that Zenri would be taken care of and put into some therapy. Dulles nodded, but he privately felt it wasn't going to do much. Zenri was a sensible guy and would wake up wondering what the hell he'd tried to do, just like he had during the war. Somewhere a god was laughing, because Zenri's compulsions to save people and end himself were like two dragons fighting for control all the time.

In Zenri's defense, he didn't usually try to kill himself unless something fairly horrible happened. The last time he'd tried to kill himself was during the war, when the CO at the time had flat-out told him he was not allowed to mercy-kill any of the interrogated prisoners. Having sensitive hearing even for a SOLDIER, Zenri later told Dulles that he had literally heard every one of the interrogated POW's breathe their rattling last, and sure they were the enemy and they had information, but there was no reason to let them suffer so badly when everything was done. Back then, Zenri had tried to commit suicide the Wutaiese way, and both Sephiroth (he wasn't the General then, just squad commander) and Dulles had scars from snatching the blades away from him. It took a bit of talking, but that night the three of them went to the POW camp and Sephiroth and Dulles stood guard while Zenri gave an honorable death to anybody who asked. The base commander had been furious, but he'd never figured out who'd done it.

When Dulles went back to the Garrison, the rest of the guys were there. Dulles automatically counted, came up two short, and sighed. Zenri of course was in Deepground. And Zack...

"What the hell did you encounter, kid? I don't believe it was AVALANCHE for a second. Between you and the General, you could have burned down whatever came at you."

Zack was the only member of the Seventh that had joined up after the War. Dulles then wondered if it was a good thing he wasn't with them now. He never would have understood what Zenri was going through, and in the way that young, well-meaning people had, he probably would have said something stupid and got his face broken. Dulles sighed; better a broken face than dead.

"How's he, Cappy?" Papo asked, subdued. It was a measure of his upset that his cultivated Midgarian accent was slipping, going back to the rounder, more sing-songy tones of his native del Solian.

"Sleeping," said Dulles. Looking at his men, he asked, "Does anybody know what set him off?"

"Corel," said Yard, his brown eyes almost dark.

"Coral?"

"No, Corel. His hometown." Yard's lips thinned. "Army investigators came by and asked if he knew anything about the 'terrorist plot to destroy the Corel reactor'." As Dulles sucked air over his teeth, Yard's face got grimmer and he added, "Apparently the regular army got sent out to deal with the mess. The entire town is gone."

"Oh my god," Fenwick groaned, covering his face. "His family?"

"All gone. He tried calling for hours, but you know Director H's 'total warfare' policy."

It was hard to breathe past the heavy lump in his chest, but Dulles managed. "Who else knows about this?" He asked.

"The entire base," said Yard, his expression as ugly as his voice was calm. "They asked him during mess."

"Those fucking idiots!" Adrian exploded.

"Yeah," said Yard. "And then Cruciani makes some crack about Zenri being 'different from all the thugs and terrorists', since he's part of the Company and all."

Cruciani was a Third, and a relentless suckup who had the weird idea that impressing Seconds and Firsts would get him to the next level. Complementing his desperate drive to get ahead was a sense of humor that always tried too hard. This wasn't the first time he'd pissed someone off, which oddly enough just made him try harder.

"And what happened to Cruciani?" Dulles asked evenly.

"Well, the doctor says he'll be fine...eventually," said Yard with a sideways mouth-twitch that would have normally been a smile. "I swear they don't make Thirds like they used to. We only put him through two walls."

"His fault," said Fenwick firmly. "If he spent more time conditioning and less time kissing ass—"

Papo cut them all off. "What can we can do for Z, Cappy?"

Dulles didn't know what to say. The swirling, savage mood over the rest of the squad puffed into smoke as everyone mulled over their options and their helplessness.

"We don't know how long he'll be in there," said Dulles finally. "So let's just do what he'd want. No one talks shit about Corel or his family around us, at the very least. If there's problems, come to me."

"Do we need to make any calls?" Papo asked.

"Does he have family outside of there?" Adrian asked.

"I don't think he does," said Yard, shaking his head. "I mean, unless his brother-in-law was out of town or something, but Myrna's so sick that he can't leave for long."

"Oh my god," moaned Fenwick. "We're never going to taste her sweet potato pie again."

"Or that chicken rub," said Adrian, going pale.

"You're talking about food?" Yard demanded, his face going red. "Now?"

"They were family recipes," said Dulles as Fenwick, Adrian, and Yard started glaring at each other. "And Zenri shared them with us because we're his brothers. Which means our sister is dead, and remembering her or her cooking isn't a bad thing at all."

The three Seconds dropped their gazes to the ground. Dulles closed his eyes. He could almost smell that pie, shipped overnight and frozen solid so all Zenri had to do was pop it in the oven and share it out. His bright purple eyes would glow so bright with pride when he brought it out, and there would be fights every year when opportunists from other squads tried to steal a bite or the whole thing. Then Zenri would spend hours on the phone talking to his mom and dad, because he didn't go back but once a year during the halfway point between their birthdays. And a year ago, Zenri and his brother-in-law Barret had been on the phone nearly every day for a week as Barret asked him questions about Mako reactors, if they were safe, and if Corel should have one.

Papo glanced around Dulles's side.

"Can we see him, Cappy?" He asked.

"Sure," said Dulles, stepping aside and gesturing at the entrance to Deepground. "For all the good it'll do."

"You just said we're his brothers, sir," said Fenwick, going for the door. "We should be there."

They went to Zenri's room. Dulles brought up the rear, the heaviness in his chest becoming worse with every step. This couldn't have happened at a worse time. Director Heidegger overused SOLDIERS whenever he could, and the entire branch was being restructured. In two weeks, the Seventh would be no more. Dulles was supposed to tell his guys where their next assignment was, but...

Zack was gone. Sephiroth was gone. And now Zenri, their sensitive brother, was down.

The guys went to see Zenri as he lay drugged asleep. Dulles stood out in the hall and looked at all of them standing together for what felt like the last time.

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a/n: The best laid outlines often explode in the face of careful examination, so have a bonus while I figure out the real direction of the story.

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