Hey guys, well I bet you didn't see this coming. Please don't get your hopes up, I'm still retired from writing stories.

You can thank my good friend MarisWales for that. He asked if he could write a chapter and I really liked the idea of it. So here's his work.

It's not a long chapter, but feel free to congratulate him. Because he did great.

Chapter 7: Mystery of Plank

At the Peach Creek playground, Johnny, of course along with his imaginary friend Plank, were searching for treasure in the sand pit as Johnny dug in to the pit with a plastic spade.

"Oh boy, Plank, at this rate, we might be able to hit China, again!" Johnny said to the block of wood.

Johnny then paused, as he looked over to Plank. "What's that?", said Johnny, listening to his imaginary friend. "L. Loud is here?!" he shouted. "You don't mean Luan, do you?"

Johnny turned his head over to the street light to see Lisa Loud and Double-D were analysing something in the grass.

"Phew. You could have told me it was Lisa, Plank!" Johnny paused again. "What look on my face?"

Over to where Double-D and Lisa were seated, both were observing a certain colony of ants. Per the norm, Double-D took notes as he described the species of ant to Lisa. "So, as you see Lisa, with this small group of Pheidole dentata, we can determine-"

"Pheidole megacephala," Lisa interrupted.

Double-D looked over to her with a confused look, "Excuse me?"

"Sort of hate to interrupt, but what you have discovered is a group of Pheidole megacephala, not Pheidole dentata," Lisa explained. "If it were Pheidole dentata, then their heads would be a shade of wood brown. These are clearly burnt amber."

Double-D took out a small eyepiece and leaned in to examine the ants to see if Lisa's statement was correct. And it was.

"By George," he said, giggling in his embarrassment, "How did I miss that?"

"Nothing to be embarrassed over Eddward," Lisa waved off with a chuckle. "Why, I can recall the time I mistook a Tegenaria domestica for an Alopecosa when I was merely two years old."

Double-D only frowned at her statement. He was suddenly taken back when a familiar piece of wood appeared in front of his face. "Hey guys! Whatcha doin?" said Johnny, holding Plank between Double-D and Lisa.

While he was aware that Lisa and Johnny had their different opinions of each other, Double-D was more than happy to explain their activity to Johnny. "Greetings Johnny. Lisa and I are analysing our recently discovered species of Pheidole, which have colonised themselves in this spot presumably around the last forty eight hours."

"…"

"We're looking at an ant colony."

"Ooh," said Johnny, "You guys could make drying paint sound exciting!" He looked at his wooden companion. "What's that Plank?" he asked his wooden companion. "Plank says to stomp them while you guys have the chance. Geez, they're not termites, buddy."

"Ah, yes. Your "friend" stated that did he?" Lisa said, making quotation marks as she said the word "friend".

"Yep," Johnny simply said. "What's that?" he asked the block of wood. "Plank says for a smart person, you don't listen very well and that you might need to get your ears checked," he claimed, earning a twitch from Lisa. "Well, see you guys."

As Johnny walked off, Double-D witnessed Lisa's flabbergasted face as she continued to watch Johnny wonder off. Double-D tried to divert the situation by saying, "Well, shall we proceed with our examinatio-"

"He thinks I'm impaired?!" she interrupted, clearly frustrated. "HIM?! He's the one who's mentally impaired! Can you believe that delusional simpleton?"

Double-D could only blink at her sudden outburst. "Well, I must admit that his claim was a tad discourteous, but it's nothing compare to what I'm used-"

"Even if that diced up piece of stem did talk to me, he repeated what he already knows! Explain that?!"

"Umm-"

"I'm seriously not the only one who's noticed that, right? You'd have to be of unsound mind not to notice!" Lisa then took a breath to calm herself. "Find your comfortable domain," said whispered to herself.

Double-D wasn't sure how to respond to this. He had to constantly remind himself that Lisa, even though she was very much in control of her emotions for most of the time, had those moments where she would just explode with extreme outbursts. Yet again, she was part of the Loud family and they aren't called that for nothing. "Well, I wouldn't let them go to your head."

Lisa sighed, "You're right, you're right."

"Besides, Plank has always been one to unleash his personal, and albeit strident, notions."

Lisa paused. She looked over towards Double-D with an uncomfortably blank expression. It gave Double-D the chills.

"Eddward," she said, "you just stated that as if that piece of wood was an actual person. Like it was alive."

"…Did I?" Double-D asked.

"…Yes. Yes, you did," Lisa confirmed. "Now since we both know that it's an inanimate object, I'm just going to assume that your previous statement was a little pleasantry?"

Double-D didn't answer right away. He looked back and forth in nervousness. He knew that Plank was just a piece of wood. He knew it was just an inanimate object. …And yet as much as he'd hate to admit it, there was something off whenever the situation is focused on Plank. Such strange, illogical events have happened when Johnny and his supposed imaginary friend.

"Well… " Double said slowly, twiddling his thumbs, "there… have been certain incidences where, Johnny's wooden associate has seemingly done some unexplainably… accomplishments."

Lisa blinked. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, from Double-D of all people. "Are you seriously saying that the wooden object is alive?!"

"Now, I'm not saying that!" Double-D exclaimed, "I'm just saying that there have been certain happenings that are beyond me."

"But, you do think there is a chance it is sentient?"

"…Yes." Double-D steadily said.

Once again, Lisa paused. "…IT'S A PIECE OF WOOD!"

"I know that! I've always known that!" Double debated, "It's just that many absurd events of the Cul-de-Sac have been so numerous that we all have sort of adjusted to them!"

"That doesn't change anything, because that is a piece of wood! There is no Plank, just a delusional nitwit!" She looked towards the direction of where Johnny went. "And I'll prove it."

(Later that day)

Johnny sat in the middle of the junkyard with his rectangular friend, with his eyes crossed and tongue lolling out. He just sat there not making any noise what so ever.

He was so deep in his own world, that he didn't noticed Lisa sneaking up behind him. She strapped a pressure cuff around his arm. The cuff was connected to a transducer which was plugged into a lie detector.

"Greetings, Johnny 2x4," Lisa said.

Johnny looked over to Lisa, who was standing beside Plank with clipboard and pencil. He was still not noticing the cuff strapped to his arm. He did however notice the lie detector. "Oh, hi Lisa! What's that? Some kind of mechanical lunch box?"

"No, it's-" Lisa stopped herself. It was then she realised that she could use his dim-witted nature to her advantage. If he didn't know it was a lie detector than he would have no reason to lie. "…my briefcase, for storing my experimental equipment."

Johnny looked like he had his suspicions after that long pause, but immediately bought it. "Oh, okay," he said before leaning towards Plank. "What's that? Plank says it looks like something a DC comic book writer would think up." This statement stumped Johnny. "What does that even mean, buddy?"

Lisa rolled her eyes and got back to the task at hand. "Yes, very amusing. I would to ask you some questions."

"Okay," Johnny said with no further questions.

Lisa decided to start off with a straight forward query, "What is your opinion of Plank?"

"Hmm…" Johnny started trying to find words to describe. "I'd say Plank is alright." He looked over to his wooden friend before laughing out loud. "I'm just messing with ya, buddy. Plank's my best friend, even if he can be a bit of a complain-y pants."

"Interesting," said Lisa, not even attempting to be invested in what he's talking about. "Despite him being a literal plank of fibrous structural tissue? A.k.a a plank of wood?"

"Whoa," Johnny suddenly said, taking offence to what she said. "You got something against wood?"

"What? No I-" she stopped herself after realising something. "Wait a minute. You know he is a plank of wood and you believe he is real?"

"Wooden people have feelings too," he simply said. "Don't believe me? Why don't you ask him?"

Lisa sighed and looked over to where Plank was in order to play along.

But Plank wasn't there.

"Wait, where is he?" she asked.

"He's right beside you," Johnny said.

Lisa looked to her right to see the block of wood right beside her with another cuff stuck to his forehead. Then, out of nowhere-

BOOOOOOMMMMM!

Her lie detector exploded. Not long after she realised the wooden object was beside her and her lie detector burst into flames.

"NO! My fabrication perceiver!" she shouted.

"Quick, Plank! Get some water!" Johnny shouted to his wooden friend. He looked at Plank for a few second before groaning and saying, "Fine! I'll get it with you!" before running off to find some water to put out the fire.

After covering the fire with dirt from all around her, Lisa turned around to kick the object out of frustration, only to find that Plank had disappeared. "What?" she said to herself. "It was just here-"

"We got some water!" said Johnny with a bucket of water, also carrying Plank with him. "Oh, you already put it out? Explosions must happen a lot around you, huh?"

Although she'd wouldn't admit it, she was confused. That plank of wood was just beside her a minute ago. It must have been Johnny of course… but how?

(Later that day)

Johnny was walking down the lane, of course with Plank in tow, heading back to the Cul-de-Sac.

"Plank!" Lisa shouted towards Johnny. "Catch!"

Johnny turned towards Lisa and sees her throw a baseball at him. Even though he had no idea what was going on, he played along and caught the ball with his right hand, since his left hand was occupied carrying Plank.

"Holy cow, Plank! I caught it!" Johnny shouted. "Lisa, did you see that?!"

"Affirmative," she said jumping over the fence and pointing at Johnny, "I observed everything I needed to see!"

"What's that Plank?" Johnny asked his inanimate companion. "Plank says this is the third time we've met this chapter."

"Don't change the subject!" Lisa said, now in Johnny's face. ""Plank" didn't catch it, but you did!"

"Wha?" asked Johnny.

"If he is as sentient as you say he is, why do you need to do all of his stuff for him? Hmm?!" she asked with immense pride from her accomplishment. Surely this will put an end to this foolish charade.

Johnny didn't know what to say. "Umm…" He looked nervous. Really nervous. He started to sweat, like he was hiding something. "O-okay. The jig is up."

Lisa's eyes were wide open. "Ah ha! You admit it!"

Johnny sighed. "Yes. I admit it. I can't keep going on like this."

Lisa crossed her arms in triumphantly and gave a cocky smirk. "You may have gotten everyone else to fall victim to your tireless act, but not I!"

Then, Johnny looked back to his wooden companion. "You knew you'd have to admit it sooner or later, buddy."

Lisa paused. What was going on now? "Wait. Could you repeat that?"

With tears going down Johnny's eyes, he turned Plank towards Lisa. "Okay. He's ready to tell you. …Go ahead, buddy. Tell her."

For a while, Johnny just held Plank in front of Lisa. She just blinked, confused by what was going on. Before she could ask, Johnny spoke.

"Okay, that's enough buddy. You've been through enough," Johnny said, now hugging Plank. "Now you know the full story, Lisa. Now you understand why Plank can't play baseball." He sniffed. "But for the time being, could we please keep this to ourselves? Plank isn't ready to share his story with the others."

Then Lisa just frowned angrily at Johnny. "What are you playing at?" she demanded.

"Ooh, yeah! I get ya. "What are we talking about?"" Johnny said, thinking she was pretending to not know about anything he just said. "Thanks, Lisa!" he said happily, walking away to Cul-de-Sac.

Lisa just stood in the middle of the lane by herself. After a few seconds, she turned her head to where Johnny walked off to. "I hate you so much," she whispered to herself.

(Even later that day)

Johnny was walking down the side walk of the Cul-de-Sac when he came across The Eds. Of course another day in the Cul-de-Sac meant another scam from the Eds. Behind a big sign saying "Fast-as-a-Flash Ed", was a mounted slingshot in front of various fake bushes, one of which Ed was clearly hiding behind. Johnny could have sworn that he had seen the Eds attempt the same thing only a little different, but didn't think too much of it.

"Step right up, Kids! Ed Target is up and running! Get your chance to fire a water-balloon at the fast and flea invested, Fast-as-a-Flash Ed! For you, only a quarter!"

"Yep. Ed's me alright," Ed said with his signature smile.

"Hi, guys," Johnny said to both Ed and Eddy, "Where's Double-D?"

"Meh, sockhead went to "confess something to Luna" or something like that, I don't know," Eddy said with a shrug. "Luckily, this sca- I mean, event is nothing good old Eddy can't handle."

Ed gasped. "You're a grandpa, Eddy?!"

"Shut up, Ed."

"Ooh! This looks fun, right Plank?" He blinked. "Hang on, I want to go first! Remember, You got to go first on our last game of spot the duck!"

While Johnny was having an argument with his inanimate friend, Eddy observed the scene with a raised eyebrow, thinking 'He needs help.'

"Yes!" Johnny yelled triumphantly. "Plank says he'll let me go first, if it would make me shut up."

Eddy's annoyed frown quickly turned into an exciting grin. "Great! That'll be twenty-five cents!"

Unbeknownst to the three of them was Lisa observing them, from in a bush, through a telescope, on the other side of the street. Of course, she never took her eyes off of Johnny.

After giving Eddy a quarter, Johnny went up to the mountain of water balloons, placed one on the slingshot and aimed at Ed, who was running back and forth between various cardboard bushes, while laughing and flailing his arms behind him. Johnny fired at Ed, but he missed. He grabbed another one and missed again. And he fired again. And then he missed. And then he fired and he missed. This went on for a while, before Johnny paused and turned to Plank.

"What? It's your turn?" Johnny asked Plank. "Okay, okay. No need to bring your mom into this."

Johnny placed Plank next to slingshot, "Alright. Knock him dead, buddy."

…

All four kids just stared at the block of wood next to the sling-shot, waiting for something to happen.

Lisa, while having her eye on Plank, let out a scoff of victory. "Well, that just confirms everything," she whispered to herself. "This proves once and for all that-" Before she could finish her statement, she heard a splash from the left. She turned her telescope left to see Ed trenched in water from a water balloon. "Wait, huh?!"

"Alright, Plank!" Johnny shouted. "You got him, buddy! And on the first try!"

"…Huh," said Eddy, scratching his head in confusion. "Well, Plank wins a stuffed chicken… I guess." Eddy took out a box filled with badly made stuffed chickens.

"I made them myself," Ed said with a smile.

Before Johnny could reach in to grab one of the toy chickens, he heard a enraged voice behind him.

"You threw that balloon!"

Johnny looked over to see Lisa stomping towards him, having abandoned her hiding place out of frustration. "Huh? Oh, hi Lisa. What's the Plank? Plank says-"

"I don't care what Plank says- I mean, I don't care!" She went right up to Johnny's face. "You threw that balloon while no one else was looking!"

"No he didn't," said Ed.

Lisa looked over to Ed, "Excuse me?" she asked.

"Plank was the one who shot it."

"Yeah, Lumpy's right," Eddy confirmed. "I didn't see Johnny throw it-"

"Because you didn't see him throw it!?" Lisa shouted.

Ed was stumped. "Did you see Johnny throw it?"

"…Well, no."

"Then, how do you know it wasn't-"

"BECAUSE "PLANK" IS NOT A REAL PERSON!" Lisa shouted. "I know you're mentally handicapped, but do I really have to say it out loud to you?!" She turned towards Eddy. "Eddy, surly you can see how deranged this is?!"

"Hey, I don't see people, I see money!" Eddy said with his arms crossed, "Especially with Plank, with that allowance of his."

Lisa paused. "That block of wood, RECEIVES AN ALLOWANCE?!" she shouted, the force of which sent Eddy flying into the sky.

"My turn!" Ed said after witnessing Eddy fly off.

"Well, if that's all, see ya Lisa," Johnny said as he walked off.

"Oh," Lisa said turning her head to see Johnny walking away, with a glare that could kill millions. "We're just getting started!"

(End scene and fade to black)

Through out the rest of the day, it was a series of non-stop attempts to get Johnny to admit that Plank is not a person.

She first started by observing Johnny from a bush when he was sitting all alone in the woods, then shoot a paint ball at Plank's drawn face to see Johnny's reaction and whether or not he would clean it off. Johnny didn't notice the paint ball on Plank for at least an hour. It drove Lisa insane waiting for the result. When Johnny did notice the paint ball, he turned Plank's front to him, out of Lisa's point of view and said, "Hey, Plank. You got a little somethin' there." After a few seconds of just staring at the block of wood, he then said, "Yep, you got it." He went back to staring at nothing and holding Plank in a position that Lisa could see the front of Plank again. The paint splat was gone. …How could that be?! It was just there literally a few seconds ago!

Next, Lisa made an exact copy of Plank. This was to make Johnny look into a figurative mirror and see Plank as the simple piece of wood it was. She placed the copy in the lane, where Johnny was walking down. When Johnny came across the copy, while Lisa was observing from the other side of the fence through a peephole, Johnny said to it "Hey, Plank. Oh, I'm just carrying you around. What's that? No you're laughing with you. You're such a kidder. Later Plank!" To say that Lisa was frustratingly confused would be an understatement.

Turning to more desperate measures, her next attempt was simply running up to Johnny, grabbing Plank and throwing Plank as far as she could into the air. While it didn't prove anything, she had to admit, it made her feel a lot better. Her satisfaction was short-lived though, as she turned to Johnny to see the look on his face only to see Plank back in Johnny's arms. With eyes wide as plates, she looked back to where she threw Plank and back at Johnny. "How is that even possible?!" she shouted at him.

Needless to say, it was a long afternoon and evening…

(Next day)

It was quite a decent morning at the Cul-de-Sac as Double-D stepped out of his house and took in the morning air.

He decided to go see if Lisa was having any luck with trying to disprove Plank as a non-sentient object. Of course, he was hoping that Lisa did disprove it, just to end the bizarre mystery that a piece of wood had brought into his life.

He walked up to the Loud house and knocked on the door. He wondered who was going to answer. …If Lisa didn't answer, than he was hoping Luna would, so that he could talk to her about what the next step would be in their official rela-

Before he could finish his thought, the door was answered by Lisa- He was taken back by her present state. She had massive bags under her eyes, which had the smallest pupils he had ever seen. Her clothes were covered in dirt and bush leaves. She looked like she had been up all night. She was breathing heavily while drinking from a coffee mug.

"Goodness! Lisa, are you alr-"

"Eddward!" Lisa shouted with an unnerving smile, "Let's go for a walk, yes?!"

"Uh- wha?" Double-D asked when being dragged by Lisa down the street. The two walked down the Cul-de-Sac, one obviously is more nervous than the other. "Are you… okay, Lisa?"

The unnerving smile returned once more as she turned her head to him "I feel indubitably."

"That's a adverb, Lisa-"

"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"

Double-D was understandably taken back by the sudden outburst. "Well, uh… Have you made progress on your, um… Plank examination?"

"Oh well, you'll be ecstatic to know I have uncovered the cause of this topsy-turvy situation," she proudly announced.

Double-D was happily surprised by this, "You have? Do tell."

Lisa took out her clipboard to read through her progress. "Throughout my examination, I have witnessed Johnny's impeccable detail when it comes to placing objects in the right moment at the right time. By using his unique momentum, he is able to put his wooden make-believe companion in positions at such a fast pace that not even the naked eye can see it happening, such as to make it look like Plank is throwing a water balloon or playing chess."

"So… you're saying that the reason these obscure events around Johnny have occurred-"

"Is because Johnny has super speed? Yes," she said, walleyed, "This along with his constant state of denial about him being wrong about the existence of this "Plank" specimen is the only thing that makes sense, correct?"

"Umm… okay. I'll follow you-"

"BECAUSE I'M CORRECT!"

"…Of course," "If that's the case then, why aren't you curious about his… super speed?" He couldn't believe he just said those words out loud.

Lisa sighed and looked down. "Well, you see, Eddward, I realised that all of this examination was consuming my life. Taking away my valuable time on this Earth. I can't do that. Not while I'm still an infant. So, I've decided to deduce this whole thing down to the most logical explanation for the time being. That Johnny has clearly evolved into a human with far superior capabilities when it comes to speed and agility."

"Well… I'm glad you-"

"AND BESIDES," Lisa shouted, "Only Johnny truly believes that "Plank" is sentient. It's not like anyone else around here is as mentally impaired as he-"

However, before Lisa could finish, she and Double-D suddenly felt a huge weight crash into them. Ed had just ran right into them.

"Ed! What have I told you about bumping into people and the risk of head trauma?" Double-D scolds Ed.

"Have you heard the news?!" Ed shouted at Double-D and Lisa. "He's coming back to visit!" Instead of saying who he was talking about, Ed ran over to the bus stop.

Lisa was confused, "Wait, who's-"

And before Lisa could finish, all of the original Cul-de-Sac kids rushed over to the same bus stop as Ed was.

"He's back, Sarah! He's actually back!"

"Hurry, Plank!"

"Finally, Rolf can at last treat him to Rolf's candied beets!"

They all waited at the bus stop until a random bus came out from nowhere. The bus door opened to reveal no one getting off the bus and the bus drove away.

"Jib!" Ed shouted as he hugged the air in front of him. "It's great to have you back! It feels like it's been twenty years!"

"Hooray! Jib is back!" every Cul-de-Sac kid shouted. They all then gave out gifts to welcome back this supposed "Jib" person, despite the fact that no one was there.

Lisa was confused as to what was going on. "What the heck is this?"

"Jib is Ed's imaginary friend that left a few years ago," Double-D explained.

Lisa was flabbergasted, looking back at the current celebration. "…Are they serious?" Lisa said. "…ARE THEY SERIOUS?!" she then shouted. "Has every single one of them lost their mentality?! I mean, there's no one there! THERE IS LITERALLY NO ONE THERE! At least that dumb inanimate piece of wood was present for everyone to observe, but Edward is just holding his flea invested arm out like the dimwit he is!" She turned to Double-D. "Don't you see the level of insanity among our neighbourhood?!"

Double-D sighed, "And it's about to get even more ludicrous now that Jib is back. I mean, the last time he came here, he-" Double-D then quickly placed a hand over his mouth, remembering who he was saying this to, to stop himself from saying something he would regret later, but it was too late.

Lisa's head slowly turned towards Double-D, her neck cracked as she did. "…You don't believe there's someone there? Do you?!"

Double-D froze, unsure what to say next. "…Well, you see-"

"OH, COME ON!"

The End

That was really nice and I loved the humour he used for this. This idea never crossed my mind but it turned out great. I again would like to thank Marius for his contribution to this story. It means the world to me.

Feel free to check him out on Devianart, he's a great artist too.

I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I have.