AN: Sup guys, it's been a minute. Been doing a lot of stuff, and writing for another GaaSaku fanfest (Enslaved was my last fanfest piece, go check it out if you like smut heh heh heh ;3 ) anyways, hoping to keep posting new chapters of my ongoing plethora of fan fictions. Hope you guys are still on board! Smooches!
Gaara sat in the hot bath for what seemed like hours, at one point he had been so zoned out that he hadn't noticed her come in to take away his bloodied robes.
Sakura had somehow cleaned herself up quickly, got changed into a plain white t-shirt with her classic black shorts, and had fresh clothes waiting for him as well as a fluffy towel. At the last minute of her bustling about the bathroom he quickly snatched her wrist as she passed right next to the bath.
"Gaara, let me go please." The kunoichi was completely calm, and with literally no trace of fear in her eyes. He began to stand up from the steaming bath, using her arm as an anchor to pull. She squeaked for a moment, and rapidly turned her whole body to face away from him.
"I didn't mean to scare you-"
"No! No, you're not scary. It's just... a lot of skin..." Sakura snagged the towel from the stool next to her, and turned around to give it to him. Her eyes flicked around his frame as she handed off the towel, and he did not fail to notice the way she took in his image.
'Well, that's a bit unexpected.' The redhead mused to himself with a smirk before rubbing the towel over his wet crimson hair. He brought the cloth over his pale shoulders, and carelessly took a step up out of the waist deep basin.
Another squeak had his attention on her.
"I-I'll just... wait outside." The kunoichi fumbled with her words, as well as her breathing before power-walking towards the door. Before she opened it he heard her vehemently whisper to herself, and luckily since he was the host of a tanuki spirit his hearing was quite good. "Oh my god, Sakura you idiot. What the hell are you doing staring at him-"
Oh how Gaara wanted to make her stay, and fluster her even further. It was so enticing that he started to dig deep for topics to bring up just to keep her there with him.
"Sakura." The redhead spoke calmly, but she still managed to practically jump out of her skin. "Why did that girl tackle you? It looked like you were arguing... but for you to be in a catfight is not common."
There was a moment of silence, and her hand twitched on the door handle.
"She asked me what I thought I was doing flirting with the Kazekage. I told her I wasn't, and she called me a 'fucking liar'. Then she told me that I was too ugly, and you were too 'virtuous' to sleep with me. That's when I said something I really shouldn't have... and she jumped me." Sakura turned around just as he was halfway done wrapping the towel around his waist, she managed to catch his bare hip for the smallest of moments, and he got to witness her flush a lovely shade of red.
"What did you say?" Gaara pressed on casually, ignoring her roaming eyes and flushing cheeks.
"I... told a half truth..." The kunoichi finally sighed, and placed her hands over her face shamefully as if she was preparing to confess something bad. "I told her that she was mistaken, and that we had already slept together. I also told her that you were far from innocent, and that you like it rough..."
Her voice had gradually gotten higher, and higher, until her last word practically squeaked as it left her throat.
He was shocked that she would be bitter enough to make up such a scandalous story, but if she had actually permitted him to go as far as he actually wanted he was certain that he would have matched the description well.
"Yet it was you who said it wasn't okay for me to be carrying you due to rumors-"
"Oh, I'm sorry, 'Mr. Kazekage'! Your groupie just called me ugly, and you think I wouldn't rub what we had together in her face?" Sakura bit both sarcastically as well as bitterly, but it was the words 'what we had together' that had his interest piqued.
"Well, what did we have together, Sakura? You make it sound like we had a special relationship." Gaara moved across the bathroom until he stood merely a foot away from her, dissecting her with his eyes. She shied almost instantly as he managed to tower over her with his intimidating presence.
"I don't know what it was... it was innocent... but it was really physical. Probably psychologically damaging-"
"Would it still be damaging? Or is it more acceptable now?" His arm rested on the wall next to the door, allowing him to both cage her as well as lean in. She flushed even darker.
"It would be worse!" The kunoichi huffed, trying desperately to regrow her backbone. He chuckled warmly all the same.
"Why?" The redhead stared deeply into her jade orbs, and he saw her grow painfully still under his gaze.
"Because... we're older... we're not children anymore, and the things we did as kids are not longer appropriate. It was just playing back then-"
"We were hardly children, Sakura, and I never played. It was always real for me." His tone lowered, and she trembled almost fearfully. "I didn't want to hurt you though... so I stopped myself before it would get too extreme-"
"It was still messed up, Gaara. I don't know where you got your weird perverted ideas from, but I'm still confused on what physical touch is acceptable, and unacceptable. You damaged that part of me-!" She gasped as his face lowered towards her neck, and she stiffened up as if waiting for an axe. Yet, he merely stopped at her ear to press his cheek to her own.
"You want the true answer to that question, what is acceptable or unacceptable?" Gaara waited, breathing calmly as hers became erratic. She swallowed hard before finally nodding to him, and he grinned. "That right there, that is the line that divides the two. It's called 'consent'."
The kunoichi let out a shaking exhale, and he could see the nervous sweat forming on her skin.
"So, if I touch you... like this-" The redhead ran his fingertips along her exposed thigh, and she jumped in shock over the sensation. "-and you don't appreciate it, then let me know. I'll respect your decision, however there are many men who don't respect such decisions, and do as they please. That is the moment it becomes unacceptable, that is when your consent has been invalidated."
"All this coming from the guy who held me down to grope me, and bite the crap out of my neck-"
"I was a very disturbed person once, but I assure you I have made changes." Gaara brushed her hair behind her ear gently, and reveled in her shivers.
"You told me you were going to hurt me if we stayed in your room any longer, what about that?" Sakura huffed, but he couldn't stop himself from getting dangerously close to her ear.
"I warned you, had we stayed in that situation it would have been you consenting to me doing something less than honorable. I gave you a choice to stay, and become my victim, or go, and leave me to my own devices. Although I do like this alternative, I really do enjoy having you around." The redhead spoke just above a whisper in his dusty tone, making everything as crystal clear for her as he could.
Her trembling form underneath him made him want to pounce, but he knew that he couldn't do it without her wanting it first. He wondered if there would ever be a day where she would actually be interested in such activities.
Well, perhaps he could just ask her outright. Why tiptoe around it?
"Sakura, I have a question for you, and I have no desire to offend you in any way so I request that you handle it with maturity. You don't have to do it, but I figured I'd ask all the same as you know I am making changes as to how I treat others. You are especially important to me, and I want nothing less than your happiness. So please humor me, and this question I ask of you..."
Gaara waited again for her cautious nod, and when she finally made the motion he felt himself grow giddy with excitement. He straightened enough to be at perfect eye level with her, but still within a small distance from her face. He kept his voice unbelievably calm, and his eyes remained piercing while he mouthed his next words.
"Would you like to make that rumor true with me?"
Sakura's sharp inhale, and fearful exhale had him teetering on what her answer would be. She could either be just as excited as he was, or she could be scared shitless. Either way, her bashful anxiety left him high as a kite.
To make the line more apparent for her, he ran his fingers against her arm trailing up to her shoulder; leaving goosebumps in his wake. Her breath quaked violently as those same fingers glided across her cotton shirt, and up her neck. Still he recieved no answer.
"It's just an option, I won't be offended if you say no. However, I would be more than honored if you said yes." His porcelain fingertips pet softly at her jawline, and ran through her shining hair. The redhead pulled back further to look at her expression at a different angle while she refused to respond.
The kunoichi looked like a deer caught in headlights; she was much more beautiful than a doe, but her cautious nature was far too similar to such prey. He could practically hear Shukaku screaming at her to bite her neck, although half the time he couldn't tell if it was the beast or himself inwardly snarling.
He decided that speech was always best nowadays, so he tried coaxing her with his words.
"I know I can be... daunting, but I promise that your satisfaction would be my top priority. I can be very gentle with you, if that's what you need. I want more than anything for it to be a good experience for you." He inched forward slightly while his eyes darted between jade orbs and rosebud lips-
"I... I don't... Gaara... this..." Suddenly something snapped as she began to speak, and her delicate hands went up to his pale chest desperate for distance. "I-I'm not ready! Please-!"
"It's alright, Sakura. It was only a question. Like I said, you can say no, I won't get angry." The disappointment was certainly evident in his demeanor, but he gave her the space that she wanted by taking a step back. "See? I'm not bitter, and I don't hate you for your answer-"
"I... I'm just not ready for something like that..." Sakura crossed her arms protectively across her chest, but he noticed that she didn't tell him 'no' outright.
He supposed playing one more card wouldn't hurt.
"If you ever want to, you have my permission." The redhead attempted a small smile for her, but her brows furrowed in confusion.
"Permission to what?" Her curiosity was thick, and also quite innocent. It made him warm all over.
"Permission to take whatever you desire from me. If you feel curious you're more than welcome to use me as you see fit, and if you don't want me to try anything I will honor that-"
"Could you really do that though? I mean, wouldn't that temptation be too great for you?" The kunoichi was suddenly a bit more confident than before, and he realized that giving her all of the control was probably his best option.
"If it means that I get to be even one centimeter closer to you, I don't mind. I won't compromise a good thing just for one 'big' moment, not when I could have a plethora of small moments. Small moments that mean so much more than just that singular 'ideal' one." Gaara turned, and leaned against the wall next to her.
His mind wandered over the thought that he may have made a mistake in making such offers, as he might actually be scaring her away. However, the way her gaze followed his partially naked body with intrigue left him cocky. He felt that she might actually be starting to desire him in some way, like he did for her.
The redhead closed his eyes with a sigh.
No, this was most likely too much for her. She had stated how she had many issues now because of his strange behaviors, what made it any different now? She was older, yes, but that didn't just magically make her into some sort of teenage hormonal mess-
"Thank you, Gaara. It's kind of you to make such 'sacrifices' for me, however I don't think it would be good for me right now..." Sakura sighed, and it almost sounded as if she was dissapointed.
But, with who was the question.
"Like I said, it's merely an offer. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to... and I hope that this doesn't affect our friendship-"
"What friendship? As far as I can tell you only want one thing from me." The kunoichi suddenly straightened, and turned herself to face him. "Why should I ever trust you?"
All those things stung him in a place that was still raw, and fresh. Perhaps she was trying to push away from him, to push away from the sins he carried.
"Because I care about you. Even though I might desire your body I also desire your happiness, and your happiness will always take precedence over my own cravings." The redhead eyed the floor, almost questioning whether he could stay true to those words or not. He was sure that's how he felt in his heart, but his instincts seemed to like to take the wheel more often than not. However, he was working on such flaws.
Smooth warm petals graced his cheek along with her soft inhale dragging air along his skin. If he wasn't heated before he certainly was now.
It was longer than necessary, this sweet kiss that she was giving him, and it made his fists clench as a true lusting for her made it's way into his chest. He had to keep control, he had to keep his word to her. He needed her to trust him. When she broke away the moistened sound of her lips parting from his cheek made him nearly swoon, and he had to make a great effort not to make a wanting expression with his face. So instead he merely clenched his jaw, and stared harder at the floor.
"You really are a good man, Gaara." Sakura smiled before giving his shoulder a squeeze, and he couldn't even look up at her as she took her leave of the bathroom.
He stood there, alone, wondering how the hell he could get her to think his way. How to get her to like him just as much as he liked her. It was strange, and he felt a bit disgusted with himself over it.
"I'm not a 'good man', Sakura, I'm just good at hiding my true intentions." Gaara spoke bitterly to himself before sliding down the wall onto the floor. He stared at his hands, and his body as if they were his enemy.
The inner war had only just begun.
- ... - ... - ... -
"Lord Kazekage, I'm surprised to see you out and walking around this afternoon. Don't you have mountains of paperwork to do?"
The snarky yet chiming tone grew louder as she approached his back, her footsteps echoing proudly down the sunlit sandstone halls. He turned with a small smile, regardless of how he had truly felt. In all honesty, he was still beating himself up for his behavior last night.
"I am taking a break from my duties, as is customary in all forms of work." Gaara gave off a professional air, but it didn't seem to sway her in any way. Her eyes sized him up for a moment with scrutiny before she lifted a well groomed brow.
"You're on break?" Sakura said it casually, but still crossed her arms in a scrutinous fashion. "Let me guess, you're going to go wallow in saké for the next hour?"
At that his expression became confused.
"Um... no. I'm not old enough to drink-"
"If you're old enough to be a Kage then they should let you drink alcohol. Doesn't sound fair to me, honestly." The pinkette turned her head with a sigh, and dropped her arms to her sides. It were as if she were sad, or dissapointed.
'Does she want me to get her drunk or something?' His mind raced with many questions, and even more confusing answers.
"Were you wanting to get a drink with me-?"
"Heavens, no!" Sakura balked at him as if he had made the most ridiculous of assumptions, yet he wondered as to how he could come to any other outcome due to the context he had been given. "I just assumed all kage were like Lady Tsunade... the job is too stressful, so they have a bad habit on the side that they like to indulge in."
The redhead blinked at her reasoning, the urge to laugh bubbling up through his chest. He never would have imagined the rumors about the newest Hokage to be true, but the fact that they were made it all the more hysterical. However, for Sakura's sake he managed to keep himself in check.
"The only 'bad habit' I have is stalking you, remember-?"
"Yeah, don't remind me." The kunoichi rolled her eyes at him making the young man laugh genuinely. His happy expression seemed to ease her initial discomfort, and he was even more glad for it.
"Now, how may I be of assistance to you?" Gaara crossed his arms proudly, yet felt like said pride was crumbling under her now penetrating stare.
It was awkwardly silent for a long while, but just as he was about to give up on being social she gave an exasperated sigh.
"You promised me a fake date." The pinkette huffed with a small blush, but still managed to keep her head on her shoulders even with him now gawking at her in disbelief. "When you were in Konoha last... we were going to go out on another fake date-"
"I remember that clearly enough. I also remember you basically telling me how horrible of a person I was." The redhead said it with a bit too much bitterness, which caused him to cringe at himself when the guilt showed on her features. "Forgive me, I meant no disrespect. Obviously I would like more than anything to spend time with you, I am merely concerned that my company is not something you should wish to keep after so many... instances."
At that Gaara turned away from her, and began taking steps to put distance between them to avoid any further damage.
"It is best if I leave you be, I am obviously not good for you-" The redhead choked on his last words as he was violently yanked back by a strong arm. As he came face to face with her fierce eyes he noticed a fire there that he had never seen from her before.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don't get to decide whether you are good for me or not. I decide that, and I've already made my decision!" Sakura turned then, his wrist still firmly in her grasp as she marched forward. "We're going on a date!"
Well, he wasn't going to argue. She obviously had a plan, and his fate seemed to be in her surprisingly strong hands.
He allowed her to do whatever she wanted with him, like always.
They walked- more like 'stomped' through the building until they made their way outside to the bazaar, where the pinkette promptly stopped before turning expectantly towards him. He was confused, and it showed enough to make her give an impatient groan.
"Show me what you like to do here, your favorite place to eat... hell even the best spot to watch a sunset or something that makes you smile!" Sakura barked at him while he blinked owlishly.
What did he like to do in his free time? Well he enjoyed tending to cacti, and reading, and occasionally going out into the desert to wield his sand without restrictions-
Alright. He had to come up with a plan, and fast. This could very well be a test as to how hospitable he could be, and should be expected of a Kazekage. To know the ins and outs of his village, this should be a piece of cake for him.
Yet... he also wanted to cater to her, as he already knew what she liked, but he didn't think anything here would interest her.
'Just move, just do something! Anything!' He yelled at himself internally, and felt Shukaku laughing at him from the depths of his mind.
'Just show her around. This place is strange enough to someone like her that it will be interesting regardless of what you do.'
The beast seemed to be calm today, which was a blessing, but he also felt himself agreeing with him.
Yes. He would simply show her around. No harm in that.
"Follow me." Gaara finally nodded, and watched as her stern features turned into a happy smile that left him melting in the hot midday sun.
The redhead began walking ahead of her, but she quickly ran up to link one arm through his own. He tensed at first, but quickly became accustomed to it.
They walked through the spice vendors, and he told her to breathe in deeply. When she did he could see the faintest blush on her cheeks, and a content smile on her rosy lips.
"It smells like heaven... like spice, herbs, flowers, tea... all things good... that's incredible!" Sakura clung to him for moment like a giggling schoolgirl, and while it was outwardly childish he couldn't help but grin from it.
"It is an otherworldly smell, it is one I've never found replicated. It is only in this place with all of these wonderful things that you can find such a scent." Gaara stated proudly before they exited that part of the bazaar, and quickly came to the food stalls. He searched around, and found a tucked away teahouse that he enjoyed eating at in his days before starting the journey into becoming a Kage.
They slipped in unnoticed for a moment, but once they sat down at a table the staff and patrons seemed to immediately swarm them. He wasn't used to the great swell of people surrounding him, and was slightly awkward to greet them all, but tried his very best. At any rate, his kindness showed enough to make the girl sitting across from him smile again, and that was enough to make him feel good.
The crowd thinned, and he ordered their food for them figuring what she might like best off the menu. She seemed to appreciate his assistance in the matter, as obviously she wasn't accustomed to Suna's quisine.
When they were given two small coffee cups, she tipped the cup nervously in her hands.
"Coffee?" The pinkette looked up at him, and he gave her a knowing smile.
"Suna coffee. It's thick as it is ground into a fine powder, and settles at the bottom. It's bitterness is quite intense, yet there is a fruitiness there that is coveted." The redhead sipped at the small cup without making any sort of strange face at the drink. He had been drinking the stuff for years just to try and stay awake all the time. When she followed his lead, and choked on it, he nearly snorted at her. "Like I said, it is very bitter-"
"I bet you live on this 'mud', huh?" Sakura snickered at first, but managed to take another sip without cringing. "It's not too awful once you get past the first sip."
"It honestly gets better each time you taste it." Gaara chuckled for a moment before eventually acknowledging her first question. "As for how often I drink it... every day. A few times a day. Shukaku tries to convince me to drink something else, but he's sneaky like that."
"What does Shukaku like to drink?" The pinkette asked casually, almost as if she were talking about his pet or something of the like.
It astounded him, as he never had people willingly want to know more about the beast inside of him. Yet, here was this beautiful girl with a delicate build asking fearless questions about the monster inside of him. It was so surreal, yet he loved every minute of the chatter.
'I like saké. Alot.' Shukaku made his presence firmly known, yet it did not seem intimidating in the least. This was so different then the other social instances he had ever dealt with before.
"He says he likes saké, but obviously I am not legal to drink so he's a bit out of luck on spirits." Gaara smiled as he felt the beast grumble inside of him as a result of being denied his favorite drink.
"Well, he's a tanuki right? It makes sense as to why he'd like saké." Sakura giggled for a moment as she nibbled on a piece of naan, then seemed to come to a shocking realization. She started outwardly laughing, which confused the young kazekage across from her.
"What's so funny?" The redhead asked with a growing smirk, and while she tried desperately to hold onto her giggles she only managed to fail at it.
"I don't want to say-!"
"I won't get upset, trust me." Gaara said it with confidence, but she shook her head vehemently.
"You won't, but he will!" The pinkette tried to hide her rising blush complimented by another bout of giggles. Obviously this had something to do with tanuki, and he was beginning to catch on as to what was so humorous to her.
"If this has anything to do with testicles-"
At the mention of the word she broke out into hysterical laughter. He watched her have her many laughs, and waited patiently for her to calm before continuing.
"Tanuki don't actually have oversized testicles. They are normal sized like every other animal. That little 'fact' is an old folk legend." The redhead's eyes danced with mirth as she finally ingested what he had said. Her smile remained, but her giggles had stopped all the same.
"Why did that legend even start? So obscure!" Sakura took another sip of her coffee, and it seemed to be longer than normal. He felt proud of the fact that the drink was growing on her.
"Back in ancient times the scrotum of a tanuki was used to make gold sheets. A ball of gold was placed in the sack, and pounded out into a fine sheet. Since the scrotum was so durable and stretchy it was quite useful for this task. They claimed that the scrotum could stretch across eight tatami mats-"
"That is so freaking weird!" The pinkette nearly squeaked, which had the young kazekage across from her chuckling.
"Indeed, but that form of gold sheet making has become obsolete. Instead it turned into a rather hysterical legend." Gaara smiled, and just as she was about to speak their food was placed down in front of them.
Seared, finely cut meats were displayed along with sliced peppers. Her eyes took in the meal hungrily, and she gave an almost wicked grin.
"This looks awesome." Sakura's smile reached her ears, and with her hands clapped together she gave a slight bow. "Thank you for the meal."
The redhead watched on warmly as she ate the cuisine, enjoying every mouthful ecstatically.
- ... - ... -
A Suna sunset. Nothing could ever compare to the gold and red hues.
The sounds of the city bustling far behind them could still reach their ears, but as the sun went lower those sounds too also seemed to fade. The sky was clear, the light swirling in the shining heat left over from a burning day. The only thing more beautiful was the moon, and he knew that there was to be a full moon tonight as well.
Gaara inched a bit closer to the pinkette as they sat on the edge of the world, and she said nothing even though it was obvious that he was growing closer. Maybe she was considering letting him hold her hand, or wrap and arm around her-
"I wish I could stay here longer." Sakura murmured, and the mere sound of her voice had him almost breathless.
"...I wish you could stay forever." The redhead spoke just above a whisper, studying her profile like a work of art while the red sun vanished under the sandy dunes. Her face turned towards his, her eyes sweet and yet sad at the same time.
She leaned forward, grabbing the back of his neck. His heart raced for a moment thinking that she might willingly kiss him. However, it was not meant to be as she merely pressed her forehead against his own with a sigh.
"Stop falling in love with me." The pinkette gave a breathless laugh while closing her eyes, then took a sharp and painful inhale.
His world began to shift into a dark corner.
The comment hurt him, but he knew that it was hurting her too. His hand came up to brush through her silky pink locks, thumbing along her cheek lovingly despite her telling him to stop falling for her.
He didn't want to stop. He wanted to keep going, and take as much as she would allow him to have while giving her anything she desired in return. He would give her the world if she would only let him have a small piece of her heart.
"Gaara... we can't get this close..." Sakura tried turning her face away from him, but he brought her back just enough to kiss the corner of her mouth. She stayed calm and still, allowing him to place small kisses along her cheek and jaw. "I can't give you what you need... I'm sorry."
Gaara stopped everything, and reluctantly slipped his hand away from her soft face. He backed away from her in pain, and laid all the way back to stare at the darkening sky.
The peeking stars morphed and melted as his eyes started to burn. The tears blurred his vision until he quietly blinked them out.
His heart felt like it was breaking-
The pinkette laid down with him, and took his hand into her own. He cursed himself for allowing the small action to make his heart race with false hope.
"I had a wonderful day today... and when you come back to Konoha we can hang out together again-"
"I don't think I can go on any more of these 'fake dates'... it's killing me." The redhead remained brutally honest with her, but refused to look her way. Suddenly he felt her arm reach across his chest, and hold him in a tight embrace.
"That wasn't my intent..." Sakura croaked as she started to cry, making his guilt burrow deep into his once hollow heart. With a frown he rolled towards her to hold her back even tighter, and kissed the top of her head. Her fingers dug into his clothes, and pulled tight in a desperation that strangled him.
"I know." Gaara whispered, his lips mouthing the words against her soft skin.
'I know... you will never love me.'
AN: Ouch! I love it :) hope you guys are still liking what I'm putting out. Reviews keep me motivated, so tell me exactly what you think. I accept criticism too, but everybody knows that compliments are sweet :3