All the angels gathered in the room where they had been assigned their names and statues. The room was devoid of any color and felt bleak.
Aziraphale peeked around and noticed many angels missing. About one-third of the group. He had a bad feeling about this. His cheek still stung from earlier from where Uriel had slapped him. The archangels stood before them on a heightened stage.
Raphael took a step forward and began. "Angels of heaven I regret to inform you that it has come to our attention that many of the angels whom we trusted with our lives have turned out to not be who we thought they were. Corrupted by a lust for greed and a passion for destruction one-third of the angels lead by the former angel Lucifer as we speak are meeting and planning our destruction. " Aziraphale's heart sank as he realized not more than seventy-two hours ago one of them had yanked out a curl from his head. He reached his fingers up and massaged the spot.
Micheal then stepped beside Raphael and proceed with "This group of traitors calls themselves demons. They have a powerful weapon called Hellfire which can be used to have an angel die a painful death before completely destroying their corporation and their celestial form. Permenantly. But do not fear as through a backchannel we were able to receive crucial information to create a weapon that will help aid us in this war." With that, she went on to explain holy water and the DNA of demons. Now that was a bit unnerving to Aziraphale that they had kept it a secret from them that one-third of their associates had access to a weapon so powerful it could literally kill off an angel forever. But who was he to question them? They were the archangels after all and they knew better than a Principality.
Gabriel came next and stood beside the two archangels although he seemed a little bit more engulfed with rage than the other two. "Once a demon goes through the hellfire baptism they will no longer be able to feel love or empathy or kindness or anything else that is good in the world. They will just be a big ball of hatred and basically you should smite them all with the holy water." Raphael shot Gabriel a look that was hard to read from where Aziraphale was standing.
Next came Uriel. "We will begin training tonight and tomorrow on the sixth day of creation our backchannels have informed us that the demons will attack on this day. God will be with the first humans who shall be made in her image and she will protect them from demonic harm until all the filthy unclean and unholy demons are cast out from heaven and barred from ever returning." Once again Aziraphale had to suppress an urge to question the Ineffidiable Plan on why this was only just being shared with them now. Especially with Gabriel calling him soft all the time how was he expected to fight off a horde of literal evil incarnated. But the archangels knew the Almighty ways better than he ever could.
Next came Sealtiel. "We know this may be alarming but we will be in front of you the entire time as we caused this so we want to make it up to you by not having you die a horrible and painful permanent death." Aziraphale did not think that that was the most articulate way to put that.
Jegudiel came next raising her hands and saying "Almighty we pray to you and only to you. Give us this day our daily bread and help us smite the awful demons from our sight and make sure we know you are good to us oh Lord! Bless us please!' Aziraphale sighed with contentment knowing there was at least one angel up there who trusted in the Lord's will rather than their own understanding.
Barachiel was next and basically explained that the demons did not know that the archangels knew what was going on nor did they know about the divine weaponry or that they were about to be cast out. Personally, Aziraphale believed they should have opened with that.
Finally, it ended with Jerahmeel ending a prayer.
Before Aziraphale knew it he was on his feet doing burpees with Gabriel all while he was calling him soft and punching him in the stomach. It was at this very moment Aziraphale wished he was any other size besides this one as Gabriel was not picking on the other Principalities as they were far slimmer than he was. He hated his soft stomach more than anything else. It always made him feel like less of an angel.
When they got the flaming swords the first of the divine weapons Aziraphale knew this would be the one he would use, It was as though the handle had been made just for him. It felt light and easy to move in quick pointed movements to the varieties and thrusts Gabriel was showing them upfront.
Aziraphale was not a violent person. In fact, he detested violence unless it was absolutely necessary. He knew how should not feel bad for the demons as they were clearly the bad guys in this war he could not help but feel sympathy for them.
Not being able to feel love or know how to be kind or being able to remember what it feels like to be loved must be awfully lonely. But then again Aziraphale knew what that was like all too well. Maybe after the war was over he would be able to make some new friends and feel like he was part of a group. And perhaps just maybe they would overlook his soft stomach. Only tomorrow would tell.