"Howie?" Maddie pressed her lips against his neck as her fingers traced a circle on his bare chest. He responded with a grunt as he pulled her closer but his eyes remained closed. She giggled and moved to press her naked body closer against his, her legs wrapping around his before she moved her hand up to his face. "Howie?" She repeated, poking his nose with her finger before she kissed his shoulder.
He was smiling when he opened his eyes, or at least, one eye so he could look at her, "How can I help you, Madeline?" The EMT tilted his head to kiss her forehead, gently playing with her long hair as he watched her gather her thoughts. He was about to interrupt, before she finally said something, "Can we keep this between us for now?" She seemed nervous to ask, tentative, her voice quiet and hesitant as she moved her head up to meet his eyes.
He was awake fully now. He had been excited to tell his family at the 118 – especially Hen – but he could see it from Maddie's point of view. As far as he knew, this was her first pregnancy and it was definitely his; even if he was excited to see the look on his best friends faces when he told them of the best news he had heard in so long, it wouldn't be a bad thing to keep it between themselves. Just for now.
He realised he had been silent for too long when she started to shift in his arms. He responded by pulling her impossibly closer, his arm tightening around her body as he nodded. "I will do whatever you think is best, whatever you are most comfortable with." She knew better than to doubt he would have said anything else, and she knew both of them would struggle with the secret. Buck knew her too well, and since the moment she had told him, Howie had a certain spark about him. She hoped it was only one she could see for now. He had barely stopped smiling since she had given him the test and he realised what it was.
"Just until the twelve week scan…" She wasn't sure how far along she was, a part of her hoped it was closer to the twelve weeks because she wouldn't be able to contain her happiness for too long. She wanted to go out and buy Buck a t-shirt that said "uncle" on it, or a gift that was equally as cheesy. She wanted to see the look on his face and wrap her arms around him because she knew he was going to be an amazing Uncle.
Howie repeated her words back to her, bringing her out of her thoughts as she bit down on her bottom lip. She couldn't have imagined a better man to share her life with, or a better man to raise children with. She had always wanted to be a mother, to feel the overwhelming love for another human being and get the same in return. She had given up on the dream a long time ago, up until the moment she realised she was in love with someone who made her happy, inspired her every day and provided her with a safety net in his arms.
"I'll book an appointment with the doctor, at least we can get an idea on how far along we are." Plans were already forming in both their heads, as they thought about what it would be like to actually be parents, to be responsible for someone other than themselves. Maddie could remember when they had the discussion all those months ago and she admitted to him that she felt she had too much baggage to be a parent. The baggage was still there, but the weight had lifted – it was now a gentle reminder to keep pushing forward and never accept anything less than what she needed and deserved in the world. Doug was a memory, one that crept up every so often but no longer gripped her in such a way it would consume her every thought.
He, and everything that had happened, served as a reminder that life was fragile and she couldn't take a single moment for granted. "You are going to be a wonderful father." The brunette murmured as she hid her face in his shoulder and closer her eyes, "Our son or daughter will be so lucky to have you on their side."
Howie didn't have any words – he wanted to tell Maddie that it was because of her that he or she would be lucky, that she would be the amazing one but instead, he held back tears and closed his own eyes. He felt like the lucky one, just two years ago he wouldn't have thought it possible that someone as wonderful as Maddie would fall in love with the real him. He couldn't have imagined that same woman would deem him special enough to bring a child into the world with him. He might have said once, that he was only a maybe on the kids front but right then, he couldn't imagine anything he wanted more in the world.
They were both still giddy when they woke up the next morning. Barely able to keep their hands or their lips off each other as they both attempted to get ready for work. "I think we should look at buying a house together." Howie had finally blurted out when they were both in the kitchen, filling up their respective travel mugs after they had spent far too much time in bed when they should have been getting ready for work.
"Okay." Maddie shrugged and kissed his cheek, "I'll take a look during my break, just send me over some figures of what you can afford. Maybe I can put that money to good use finally. I love you." The man smiled as he watched her rush off, knowing it was partly his fault that she was running late, "I love you too!" He shouted after her as the door slammed behind her and just like that, she was gone.
It was going to be hard to dampen the smile down for work, a twelve hour shift surrounded by his best friends as he resisted the urge to scream out that he was adding to the 118 family. It wouldn't be easy but it would be worth it – better safe than sorry. He grabbed his mug and his bag before he shook his head and attempted to calm the wide grin on his lips, it was going to be a long shift and an even longer however many weeks before they could make the big announcement.
Chimney had been right – it had been a long day and he was more than glad when it was over. He knew it would get easier but right then, he felt as though he was high. He kept forming plans in his head about the life he and Maddie were going to have and what life as parents would look like. It was about to change, just as his life had changed when he met Maddie and eventually, they had become serious. In her, he had someone to come home to, he had someone to fight for but now he'd have two people.
Maddie was already home by the time he walked through the door, with two full bags of Chinese food (and plenty of hot mustard) and a look of relief on his face when he saw her. She was sitting on the kitchen counter, her legs swinging from the side as she looked at the papers in her hands. For a second, she was in a world of her own before the door shut and she smiled at him, "I found some houses." She announced as she jumped down, "I think we could pull it off with the figures you gave me and my savings but you just let me know what you think and you brought me food? I think I just fell a little more in love with you."
They kissed before he moved to look at the houses she had printed off, and she went to the cupboards to grab some plates, "I wanted something homely, you know? Nothing too modern, fancy or massive. Just something I could see the two of us really making our own… I know a few of them require some work but you just let me know what you think."
He was aware that she had already done the whole massive, gorgeous house thing and it had been fake. This was going to be real, it was going to be the Han household – full of laughter and love and happiness. There would be imperfections and there would definitely be a mess most of the time but it would be theirs. "They all look great, we should get some viewings booked. I can't really tell much from a few photos, I need to be inside, to try and imagine us there."
The woman nodded as she poured some of the food onto the plates, "That makes sense… I'll get some booked in. I'm not rushing you am I?" Suddenly she paused and frowned as she looked at him – the fear creeping in as it so often did. He had offered her a drawer and she had taken half his closet, and then slowly but surely moved herself in without either of them truly discussing it. When her lease was up on her apartment, he had just shrugged and told her not to bother renewing anything because she was there most of the time anyway. And so, she had moved in without any real question or discussion.
And now here she was, pregnant and throwing houses at him.
He laughed, moving towards the bin to spit out his gum before he took the two plates from the side and kissed her nose, "I never feel rushed into anything when I'm with you. We are going to have this baby in a home we love and I don't want to hear any more doubt from your mouth, please."
She loved him. It was all she could think right then as she watched him saunter towards the couch, looking pretty pleased with himself as he set the plates down and turned the television on. "Now let's watch a movie, eat food and then I'm going to make love to you." She raised an eyebrow at the cocky smirk he aimed her way, playfully rolling her eyes as she moved to sit next to him.
"Fine. But only if it's a short movie." She commented as she picked up her plate, "And only if you keep your uniform on until then." It wasn't often he came home in his uniform, but when he did she liked to take full advantage.
"Anything for you."