Here's a little New Year's present from yours truly!
Sorry for the late update...
Also, I'd like to thank everyone who read, reviewed, followed and put this story into their favorites!
It was really hard for her to believe that the man beside her was Hatake Kakashi. Had it not been for his trademark silver hair, she would've thought that she was sitting next to someone else. This was the first time that Sakura saw his bare face, and boy did it exceed all of her expectations.
Most importantly, Hatake Kakashi did not have pointy teeth with which he feasted on the hearts of his enemies. Not that she believed this urban legend in the first place. What he did have instead was a sharp jawline, a mole on his chin, a full bottom lip and a thinner upper one, and a slightly crooked nose. Up until now, she thought that the reason why he was wearing the eyepatch was because he was missing an eye, but she proved to be wrong. The organ looked to be completely healthy, the only unusual feature it had was how red the iris was. There was a long vertical scar running from his eyelid until the middle of his cheek, and it was a miracle really, that he didn't lose the sight in that particular eye due to the severity of that injury. Or maybe this was the reason why his covered eye looked different…maybe he got it transplanted, but then why did he cover it?
It took all of her self-restraint not to shower him with the myriad of questions that surfaced with each ticking minute. She'd known Kakashi for almost half a year now, but she barely knew anything about him…well, anything pertaining to his private life that is. She could probably find out pretty easily the number of his military decorations and successes in battles, but this kind of information revealed almost nothing about who this man really was.
"It seems like you grew really fond of this place." Sakura chuckled, trying to light the solemn mood. His lips formed a crooked smile for a few seconds, but that was all the response she got from him. Her anticipation for him to finally start talking grew with each heartbeat, but she did not want to rush him. Considering the fact that he had just shown her his bare face, this story of his was going to be something big.
Laughing bitterly, he ran a hand through his hair. "It's harder than I thought."
"How about some other time?" She offered. Though she was burning with curiosity, she did not want to put pressure on him.
"No." Kakashi shook his head, looking at her. "I want to tell you everything tonight." She smiled encouragingly up at him. Finally, he mustered up enough courage to start his story.
"There was a time when I wasn't wearing this mask. I was a really insecure child…constantly afraid of anything that was new, be it people or places. I would always hide behind my mother, wanting nothing more than to disappear. But she would have none of it." He smiled fondly, remembering the disapproving look on his mother's face. "She'd look into my eyes and tell me that there was nothing to be afraid of. That she'll be right beside me. Her words and her presence alone made me more confident."
His expression darkened after a few heartbeats. "She had a stroke when I was six and died a few days after." She bit down on her lip, not sure how to react to what he said.
"Since my father was away from home most of the time, my relationship with him wasn't as close as it was with my mother. He had no clue about what to do with a child, so he left me home shortly after the funeral." His voice was filled with spite. "When I was old enough, he sent me to military school. With a whole new place and people, my anxiety reached a whole new peak. Frankly, there was no day when I didn't wish for my mother to be there and assure that everything's going to be all right. I didn't want my teachers or classmates see how affected I was, so I started to wear this mask."
"Then…when I thought that things couldn't get worse, they actually did. Because of my father's tactics, Fire lost a really important battle. He got shunned by the whole country, and ended his life."
A huge weight settled inside her throat at his words. Even more so when she remembered that she actually read about this incident during her history lessons. Hatake Sakumo was the 13th marshal of the Land of Fire. His military successes made him a widely respected person inside and outside of the country. But it was all futile when he decided to change strategy in order to save his men from certain death, making them lose the battle. The loss the country had to suffer because of him was so severe, that he was stripped of his title and became an outcast. Even the soldiers that were saved by him resented him for doing so. The circumstances of his death were not disclosed inside the book, but the really short span of time between being outcast and his funeral spoke volumes about what happened to him.
"I was so ashamed of what he did. Because of his actions, the Hatake name became associated with people who could not do their job right. And then I resented him for caring more about ending his life in order to save face, than about me. He knew that if he left this world behind, I would be all alone. I would have no one. But he did it nonetheless." Despite his words, he did not seem angry.
"I wanted to prove to everyone that I was not like him. That when the time came, I would choose the success of the mission rather than the lives of those participating in it. I was already promoted to first lieutenant by the age of 16…only a year after enlisting." A shudder went down Sakura's spine, to become a soldier at 15? The man sitting beside her was already a capable soldier, while she read shiny papered girly magazines with Ino at the same age.
"I abided each and every rule…I could recite them even in my dream. I had no friends, not even acquaintances since I considered them a hindrance. My personal motto was: 'Those who break the rules are trash'. But yet again, everything changed."
"A few years after that, we had a territory dispute with Earth. I was recently promoted to the rank of captain and had my own little squad that got dispatched to the scene. One of its members was an Uchiha, his name was Obito. He wasn't the most talented soldier, and I always thought that the only reason why he reached the rank of first lieutenant was because of his family name. He, on the other hand, thought that I was a snob prick, but he wasn't too far away from the truth in all honesty." He chuckled, earning a wry smile from the woman sitting beside him.
"I was overly confident in my capabilities and missed some critical points, resulting in one of my soldiers being captured. Obito had…romantic interests in her and demanded that we abandon the mission and rescue her instead, but I refused." It was quite clear for Sakura the reason why he refused to do so. The uncanny resemblance between her father's case and his was bone chilling.
"It all went clearly against my beliefs, and I told him that only trash abandoned their mission, that my father was trash because of this very reason. And then everything changed… Obito told me, that my father was not trash, that what he did was something to be admired, and not to feel ashamed of. Those who break the rules are trash, but those who abandon their comrades are worse than trash."
"His words completely changed my view. I felt ashamed that I was so ready to abandon someone, just because I wanted to bring back the glory to my clan's name. We located our teammate that very day and were so close to rescuing her, but then I got too cocky and one of the soldiers from Earth wounded me. I lost sight in my left eye, and our situation turned for the worse. The cave in which we were in started collapsing and a boulder almost crushed me, had it not been for Obito. He shoved me away and he got crushed by it."
He could still vividly recall the sound his bones made as they got crushed by the immense rock. It rang vividly in his ears, even though pandemonium was breaking out in their surroundings. He looked at Sakura from the corner of his eye, her shocked expression not surprising him at all.
"Half of his body remained unscathed…and since I lost my eye, Obito gave me his as a final gift. Rin, our teammate was a field medic and performed the transplant on site."
Sakura's chin slackened upon hearing his words. An eye transplant in a collapsed cave? She lost count of the risks the whole procedure held in a matter of seconds. Transplanting an eye was something really tricky, so Rin must've been someone extremely competent.
"Obito wanted me to have the eye so that he could see the future throughout me. He made me promise, that I would live, so that his wish could be fulfilled." His voice was strained. She grabbed his calloused hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "In the beginning I didn't cover it. But it was just so hard, people always wondered about why did I have an eye that was so characteristic of the Uchihas. They would ask questions, so many questions. After a year or so, I decided to wear an eyepatch." Kakashi gazed at her small hand on top of his. Her appendage was so delicate compared to his, while her skin was as soft as silk, his was rough and calloused.
"Losing my eye and gaining a new one wasn't the only thing that changed about me after the incident. Loyalty became far more important to me than abiding the rules. I started caring about the people who were entrusted to me and didn't view them as tools to achieve a greater good. At least I hope I did."
The silence that followed his words seemed to be endless. Sakura had no idea of what she should say, or how should she react to everything that just took place. Did she really agree that the man sitting next to her changed completely from his teenaged self? But most importantly, was she in the right position to judge him? To say that her opinion about him was prejudiced was an understatement. Even after all the twists and turns their relationship has taken in this past couple of months, her initial resentment towards him didn't vanish. She might not be as vocal about is as previously, but the feeling was still present.
On the other hand, she could partially understand all his actions that lead to their marriage. As a king it was his priority to protect the people under him, not to abandon them. In this perspective, Kakashi was most definitely not the same person as his 16-year-old counterpart.
Feeling unsure, she let her instincts kick in and did what she felt was right and not thought. Her slim digits entwined with his, squeezing gently and earning his full attention.
"I'm sure that you changed." She cracked a smile, earning one from him as well. It was still so unusual for her to see his bare face. Her free hand moved up to his cheek, stopping only mere millimeters away from the scar that bisected his eye. Kakashi slightly nodded his head, giving his silent permission for her to touch him. Her hesitant fingers traced the vertical line that bisected his cheek. He leaned slightly into her touch, his mismatched eyes closing for a brief second. Her digits lingered on the edge of the blemish, and then dropped back into her lap.
They sat in silence once again, both unsure of how they should proceed onwards. Sakura felt the lack of sleep catching up to her; she tried to stifle a yawn but failed miserably.
"I think we should go to bed." Kakashi stated, earning a confused look from the woman sitting beside him. "I mean…to our separate ones." He clarified.
"Yes." Sakura nodded, climbing out from under the table, Kakashi soon following suit. The awkward silence that followed made both of them feel uncomfortable.
"Why did you tell me your story?" She asked the question that was nagging at her ever since he sat under the desk.
"After last night I thought that it's only fair if I'm honest with you too." Though he tried to state it as nonchalantly as possible, the woman knew that what he did was a big deal. He has shown her that he trusts her, and while she still didn't know how deep this trust ran, she was content in knowing that at least it existed. Right now, at the scene of such an important step in their relationship Sakura refused to ponder on the other, more negative things that affected their marriage.
Sakura was so engulfed in her thoughts that she barely noticed him moving toward the door that connected their rooms. The silver-haired man was about to step over the threshold, when her arms encircled his waist from behind, making him freeze in his steps.
"Thank you for telling me." She whispered, her forehead against his spine. In that very moment, she didn't have a clue about what came over her…it wasn't characteristic of their relationship to act this physically intimate with each other behind closed doors. But this was the best way she could show him her gratitude for what he did yesterday and today.
That night, for the first time ever, the door separating their rooms remained open on both sides.