Aziraphale was just paroozing through the tribe of Isreal and almost passed out when he saw Crawly leaning against a tent with a mischievous smile upon his lips.
"Crawly? What do you want?"
"Nothing. Just looking to stir up some trouble."
"Oh haven't the children of Isreal gone through enough already. Must you patronize them."
"Relax angel. I am not going to try anything here. Not yet at least."
"Do you mean you will be leaving soon?"
"Well don't look so thrilled! I was actually planning on sticking around. Need to gather intel. So what's the scoop? Heard God's made some laws to help set the Jewish people apart."
"Yes. Moses went up to the mountain and God spoke directly to him. She gave him these stone tablets with rules called the Ten Commandments."
"Rules were meant to be broken."
"Crawly. No."
"What? Breaking rules? I am a demon. It's what I do."
He tilted back his head and let out a hardy laugh that remained Aziraphale of a horse. The two watched a woman struggling to get a stubborn mule to get to the watering hole.
Aziraphale immediately left Crawly's side and went over to assist. He watched Aziraphale use his gentle hands to caress the mule and help give it the motivation to follow the woman to the watering hole. She nodded her appreciation to which Aziraphale most likely said "Oh it's no problem, my dear girl. Just some kindness from the Lord." Typical angel. Or not so typical. Typical how an angel should act behavior.
Aziraphale approached him again his face lined with an angelic glow in the sun. Crawly literally felt his heart swoon at this. What was wrong with him?
"I do apologize. What were we talking about?"
"Erm-the...the tablets...I think"
"Oh yes! The Ten Commandments."
"So what are they?"
"Well, the first one is I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
"Sounds a bit egocentric but alright then."
"How do you mean? She literally sent plagues down on Egypt to get them free. I think She deserves a little credit and praise and worship."
"I am a demon. I oppose all things Godly. What was the next one?"
"You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments."
"So no idols then?"
"No. She doesn't want people to have anyone race or gender or ethnicity or other human thing associated with Her because they would only make it through their lens and you know how awful humans can be when it comes to this sort of thing."
"I know. I was in Sodom and Gamorah. Humans get worked up over the littlest things."
"But you are a demon? Don't you help try and create all that division?"
"Well of course but doesn't mean I don't find it a bit pointless. So many of the frivioulous human problems could be solved if they worked for each other and not against. So what was the next one?"
"Oh yes. You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain."
"Don't angels already have something along those lines? Like don't swear to God unless it is super serious or else face Her wrath?"
"Well yes but humans haven't. Or they do now."
"Right. Next."
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it."
"The day of rest after the Fall. I remember that day."
"But you weren't in Heaven?"
"Well not at that point no. But it was when I got commissioned to Eden and got this." He pulled his long red messy hair back to expose his snake tattoo on the left side of his face. Aziraphale's blue eyes welled with what looked like sympathy for a second before going back to their judgemental and hard glare he usually gave the demon. One of trustlessness and spite but Crawly won't have called anyone crazy for thinking there was also some sort of fondness there.
"Did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
"Falling."
Crawly suddenly remembered the pain of his wings burning black. His eyes feeling like sulfur was being burned into them. Getting the tattoo and feeling the iron pierce his skin. The feeling of fear and feeling trapped. Literal Hell.
"Of course not. Heaven is for wankers and Hell is where all the cool people are."
"Well from what I have seen Hell isn't all that fun either."
Crawly was not about to have an emotional breakdown in front of his enemy.
"Next commandment."
"Right. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you."
"Makes sense. God wants obedience from the angels and would want that same obedience to be modeled in every home."
"I can't argue with you there. Obidence and trust are one of the conerstones of being an angel."
"What's next?"
"You shall not murder."
"What? But murder is so much fun!"
"Crawly!"
"It isn't a party until someone gets out a machettee!"
"Crawly!"
"Alright. I'm done and ready to move on. Just like a husband after killing his wife for putting the wrong amount of yeast in the bread."
"Crawly!"
"Okay. No more murder puns. Let's just bury this and get over it."
Aziraphale sighed and wiped the beads of sweat from the heat forming on his forehead.
"You shall not commit adultery."
"Oh, so no sex orgies? Or loaning your wife out to your neighbor?"
"Crawly! Of course not. Marriage is a sacred union. Not some immoral game."
"I find it a waste of time."
"Of course you would. You are a demon after all. Love would not appeal to you as you seek to destroy it."
"I suppose. What's next?"
"You shall not steal. And you better not-"
"Steal the end of your sentence?"
"Argh! Crawly! Must you make everything more difficult than it needs to be?"
"What? I am the demon that always steals the show so I take personal offense to that one. So what's next?"
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
"Looks like you have already broken that one considering you lied about your flaming sword directly to God."
"Well the Almighty never mentioned it again so that's that."
"They are going to find out eventually. What will you do then?"
"They won't. Besides Heaven has more important matters on their hands."
"Such as?"
"Such as getting ready for the coming of the Messiah."
"Oh right. Him. So what else?"
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's."
"The humans will never do away with their precious jealousy which is why temptations will always triumph over the good nature of Heaven."
"Well, I have faith in the humans. I believe they will turn to good."
"Where have you been?"
"Well at least I want to believe in good."
Crawly rolled his eyes at the naivety of Aziraphale.