January 14th, 1967 A.D. - United States Marine Corps Recruiting Depot - Parris Island near Beaufort and Port Royal, South Carolina
The three most Almighty in existence.
The Christian God, going by the pseudonym of George Oliver Daniels walked into the empty barracks that once was the eight-week home for the "phony tough" and the "crazy brave" of Platoon 3092.
Following George in was the Hebrew supreme deity Yahweh - also traveling under the name of Yahya Wehman.
He looked over the austere silence that had come over the island.
Last but most certainly not least, Islam's very own Allah - traveling under the name of Alan Lahoud.
They slowly and silently entered the mess that only the night before was the setting for the downfall of both an unlikely Marine Corps candidate and a psychopathic Senior Drill Instructor.
A head bathroom or "head" as it was colloquially called, now housed the ghosts of recruit-turned-Private Leonard Pratt Lawrence and Gunnery Sergeant Earle Gerheim "Crazy Earl" Hartman.
After the green Privates of Platoon 3092 had left on the bus to ship out earlier that morning, the Junior Drill Instructors named Durrane and Seaton; both with the rank of Corporal had the Military Police and their crime scene cleanup crew hose down the latrine.
While they were doing that, the bodies of Hartman and Lawrence; whom the Gunnery Sergeant despised and insulted with the name "Gomer Pyle" were removed and taken to the morgue.
"If only Crazy Earl had known..." muttered Alan to his compatriots, "that old Georgie here is secretly repulsed by Marines or soldiers killing everything they see and even being trained to do so."
"No shit, man," sighed Yahya to Alan as they turned to George. "Did Lennie complete his mission?"
"He did very well in the end, boys" said George. "Now all we have to do is bring justice to and for both of them..."
They hid in the doorway as the ghost of Lawrence; an intangible to humans, losing weight, precision-trained and quick witted spirit in his translucent blue glory rose from his seat on the toilet upon which he shot himself through the mouth into the head.
Lawrence stood up with his thousand-yard stare that was slowly fading, and turned... as he headed for the exit on the other side of the head bathroom.
George, Yahya and Alan exited through their closet doorway discreetly and quietly so as not to attract the attention of Lawrence - as the three deities hid in Hartman's office just so to surprise the one they were truly after that night.
Lawrence had taken the spirit of his M14 rifle "Charlene" with him, and the rifle had unlimited ammunition in the afterlife - therefore, he was able to shoot as much as he wanted without ever running out.
"Hmm. It's okay, Charlene. It's just you and me now. Nothing can ever come between us ever again." purred Lawrence to Charlene as he then stood up to recite the Rifleman's Creed.
THIS IS MY RIFLE! THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS MINE!
MY RIFLE IS MY BEST FRIEND! IT IS MY LIFE! I MUST MASTER IT AS I MUST MASTER MY LIFE!
MY RIFLE, WITHOUT ME, IS USELESS! WITHOUT MY RIFLE, I AM USELESS! I MUST FIRE MY RIFLE TRUE! I MUST SHOOT STRAIGHTER THAN MY ENEMY WHO IS TRYING TO KILL ME! I MUST SHOOT HIM BEFORE HE SHOOTS ME! I WILL...
MY RIFLE AND I KNOW THAT WHAT COUNTS IN WAR IS NOT THE ROUNDS WE FIRE, THE NOISE OF OUR BURST, NOR THE SMOKE WE MAKE! WE KNOW THAT IT IS THE HITS THAT COUNT! WE WILL HIT...
MY RIFLE IS HUMAN, EVEN AS I, BECAUSE IT IS MY LIFE! THUS, I WILL LEARN IT AS A BROTHER! I WILL LEARN ITS WEAKNESSES, ITS STRENGTH, ITS PARTS, ITS ACCESSORIES, ITS SIGHTS AND ITS BARREL! I WILL KEEP MY RIFLE CLEAN AND READY, EVEN AS I AM CLEAN AND READY! WE WILL BECOME PART OF EACH OTHER! WE WILL...
BEFORE GOD, I SWEAR THIS CREED! MY RIFLE AND I ARE THE DEFENDERS OF MY COUNTRY! WE ARE THE MASTERS OF OUR ENEMY! WE ARE THE SAVIORS OF MY LIFE!
SO BE IT, UNTIL VICTORY IS AMERICA'S AND THERE IS NO ENEMY, BUT PEACE!
As this recital happened, the noise gave way to the deafening sounds of ghostly footsteps coming from the head bathroom.
From it came the target that the three most Almighty had set out to collect - still with his campaign cover, white skivvies and red rubber flip-flop shower shoes came the translucent blue ghost of Gunnery Sergeant Earle Gerheim "Crazy Earl" Hartman.
Alan's jaw dropped clean to the floor as Hartman's usual D.I. authoritarian rage turned into a psychopathic, homicidal furiosity with a Napoleonic hunger for vengeance and "Pyle" suffering for eternity.
George prepared himself as though he were going to dart out and tackle Hartman at just the right moment.
Yahya made the astute observation that upon Hartman's ghost seeing the sight of Lawrence's ghost, the Senior Drill Instructor's posture began to slowly revert from the upright stance of Homo sapiens to the primal states of the aggressive Australopithecus.
Then it happened...
Hartman lunged towards Lawrence, the Sergeant losing control of all volume or pitch: "YOU COMMUNIST HEATHEN MOTHERFUCKER! LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME!".
Lawrence dove towards Hartman's crotch and shot off six rounds from Charlene, but the Gunnery Sergeant just barely felt the bullets connect with his phallus and both sides of his scrotum.
The next thing Lawrence saw as he lay on the floor was Hartman on his knees, repeatedly banging his fists into the hapless former recruit's abdomen, screaming profusely and sometimes in his face: "YOU SHOT ME! YOU FUCKING SHOT ME OF ALL PEOPLE!".
Yahya began to feel his proverbial stomach turn sour and start to retch as he saw Hartman scream towards the heavens as he cursed the Almighty, who was unaware that the Almighty were in his office and waiting to spring.
Hartman continued as he banged his fists into the floor and Lawrence: "AGH! WHAT A WORLD! WHAT A HEATHEN BITCHY WORLD!".
Lawrence soon readied another few shots to deter Hartman and squeezed them off - but the Senior Drill Instructor dodged them with an inhuman jump in his primal posture.
The three Almighty then sprung as Hartman began to attempt choking his subordinate out of the afterlife, screeching: "WHO THE FUCK WOULD HAVE THOUGHT A SHITTY LITTLE NUMB-NUT LIKE YOU COULD SCREW UP MY IMMACULATE MASCULINITY! AGH! ..."
"HOLD IT right there, maggot!" boomed George as he had switched from his casual hippie/surfer/stoner voice to the stereotypical "Metatron the Voice of God" baritone that almost anybody might associate with the Almighty.
Hartman turned his red (to us - translucent purple-ish), pulsing face towards the three Almighty; his face then turned pale (translucent sky blue to us) with the realization that he had been found out by the three most Almighty - God, Yahweh and Allah.
He dropped his grip on Lawrence to let the Private touch the floor, as he stood to be addressed.
"Gunnery Sergeant Earle Gerheim Hartman - United States Marine Corps. Nicknamed Crazy Earl by your subordinate officers. You are being called to answer for the sins you have committed against Marine Corps recruits in your charge." scowled Yahya with tranquil fury.
"You want a piece of me, maggots?! WELL, COME GET SOME!" shrieked Hartman in his final act of defiance. He turned to see Alan trying to get life back into Lawrence.
"Lennie? Speak to me, man!" pleaded Alan as he tried to soothe Lawrence and Charlene after the stranglehold that Hartman had.
At last, Lawrence came around and turned to George - "Almighty God; Allah and Yahweh. Mission successful even with a few bumps and mental breakdowns in the road."
"You've done well, Leonard my child." soothed George, as he turned his tranquil fury towards Hartman. "As for you, maggot..."
Hartman gulped as George began to lay down what he feared was the gospel contrary to his Marine-friendly version: "Hartman, to train fresh young boys for a pointless war, you have overstepped your own boundaries. We realize that the stress of combat has to be simulated in some way during Basic Training, but you took a psychotic satisfaction - even arousal by the thought of recruits being punished or even suffering under you. Ever since you signed on during the Korean War between 1950 and 1953, you have misused the duties of a Drill Instructor to inflict your sadistic wet dreams on innocent boys and men - even your own superiors. Even worse! You claimed that you and the Marines do all of it in OUR NAMES, be they Christian, Hebrew or Islamic."
Alan stepped up to read out the divine writ intended for Lawrence at birth: "To counter YOUR nut-job ideal vision of Marine Corps Basic Training, we willed the birth of the deceased Private Leonard Pratt Lawrence - who you derisively nicknamed Gomer Pyle because he was screwing up your methods of deconstructing boys and rebuilding them into soldiers. What really motivated him to do so was us willing him to do it; so that despite his brief life, he has ruined your vision and by killing you making you ready to face our divine judgment."
Yahya then stepped up to complete the judgment: "Earle Gerheim Hartman, do you have any last words before we sentence you?"
The three Almighty prepared to open the ground up from beneath Hartman as he issued his final curses trying to lunge at his judges and subordinate: "YOU FUCKWADS! ALL OF YOU! I OUGHT TO RIP ALL YOUR BALLS OUT AND STUFF THEM DOWN YOUR THROATS FOR THIS! ... PYLE YOU SKULLFUCK SHITFACE! YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF MEEE..."
Those were the last words he screeched as his cacophony died with the Senior Drill Instructor - the ground had opened under him and he was dropped down to the lower Circles of Hell and the way down closed after.
As a silence filled the empty barracks, Lawrence turned his attention to Alan, George and Yahya.
"Come, Leonard. You and Charlene can finally be at peace at our place." said Yahya.
He put then Charlene in a box with straps for Leonard to carry like a knapsack.
Putting the strap around his shoulder, Leonard took Alan and Yahya's hands as they rose towards heaven.
Before he rose to join the others, George stepped out onto the Parris Island gardens where he spotted a Yellow Jessamine blowing in the cool night breeze.
"Somehow I feel happy again by loving the smell of flowers in the evening, man. It smells like... hopes for peace. A good long period of peace on Earth; goodwill to all humans, plants and animals. Hopes for peace..." sighed George back in his casual voice, hopefully.
He then turned to rise back into the sky to join his compatriots...