Hey guys! So finally chapter nine, I'm really excited about where this is going to go (eventually), so here you get a really angsty chapter ^^
Remember to join the discord group if you haven't, the link is in the previous chapter ;)
Now to your replies:
silentmayhem: I mean, its not a lie. And without Elena many things will not happen, so who knows where Damon might end up.
Only Reviewer: I mean, of course Katherine will make her appearance, she's very important to this story... you'll see why ;)
Marlastiano: thank you!
LenaMiaH: Obrigado por sempre ler e revisar. Alex e Stefan são um trabalho em andamento e ainda há coisas que eles precisam trabalhar, mas chegaremos lá algum dia, eu prometo. E bem, Alex realmente não fala com Jenna neste capítulo, mas Jeremy ... isso é outra história. ;). Infelizmente, não posso contar muito sobre o que está por vir, mas posso dizer que Katherine é uma parte crucial dessa história, assim como Klaus. Você vai ver.
Angelicsailor: Thank you for reading, I do update from time to time. Hehe.
Guest: Of course.
SuperWhoLock1408: #TeamStalex4Eva
~You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
One step, not much, but it said enough~
- You Are In Love, Taylor Swift
Despite everything that happened we managed to eat dinner before returning to the house. I briefly wondered if Stefan had drunk enough blood, but since he didn't seem disturbed by me or Zach, I figured that he was fine. When we returned, Zach seemed to be already asleep, the house was silent and Stefan and I treaded carefully up the stairs towards his room. Ghost was by the foot of the beed sleeping on what seemed to be an old cushion.
Next morning I woke up safely encased in Stefan's arms, I pondered my existence. I was in Mystic Falls, visiting Zach Salvatore, Elena Gilbert was dead, that meant no drama, no high school, no Elijah, no Klaus, no breaking the curse, no Originals. It was a bizarre thought, the fact that the entire universe would shift because a girl had died, a girl had died and it hadn't been me.
I stood from the bed, careful not to wake Stefan and stepped into the bathroom, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I held no resemblance whatsoever to Nina Dobrev or Elena Gilbert or Katherine, none at all. I was me, long dark wavy hair, big brown eyes and a paleness that could be attributed to my depression, while I didn't look as gaunt as I had looked a couple of weeks ago, I still looked a little sick, a little like hell.
"Alex, you okay in there?" asked Stefan's voice through the door.
"Yeah, give me a moment," I answered.
After a quick shower, Stefan and I joined Zach for breakfast, apparently Zach Salvatore could make impressive waffles and bacon. I also served Ghost's breakfast while Stefan read a newspaper and discussed the day with Zach.
"The Lockwood's are holding a small service for the Gilberts today, I know that you guys didn't come here for that," Zach said looking between me and Stefan, we had moved to the living room and he was sitting in a chair across from us while he had taken a couch.
"We could go," I said softly, "I mean, if the family's there, I know what is like to lose everything."
"Alex," Stefan said as he grabbed my hand in his, I smiled at him and rested my head on his shoulder.
"It's okay, really," I said looking up at him, he nodded at me before pressing a kiss to my hair.
Stefan and I changed our clothes for something more presentable, since I hadn't packed for a service I decided to wear my jacket over a black shirt and black jeans with my pair of boots while Stefan opted for a black dress shirt and kept his jeans. Zach Salvatore drove a truck, Stefan and I piled up with him, leaving Ghost behind at the house.
The Lockwood Mansion was a beautiful piece of architecture, if a bit too much for such a small town. Zach led us around the place until we reached the door where Carol and Richard Lockwood were welcome the people into their homes. Zach was quick to guide us to them and they invited us into their home. Stefan and I lounged in the back as the people of Mystic Falls spoke about the Gilberts, in the distance I spotted a young boy, fifteen maybe, that I assumed to be Jeremy Gilbert, he looked miserable by himself in sitting under the shade of a tree in the Lockwood garden.
I tugged on Stefan's shirt and motioned towards the kid.
"Do you think that is the brother that the waitress spoke about?" I asked quietly, Stefan nodded.
"I think so," Stefan said, and I couldn't help but to feel bad for the kid.
I had been right in that kid's shoes , my entire family dead. I knew that he had Jenna and the Mystic Falls community and that eventually he could be okay, but I felt the need to approach him, to assure him that eventually it could be okay. So I did. I let my feet carry me towards were he was and sat next to him on the bench.
"Hi," I said softly.
He looked at me, bloodshot eyes and tearstained cheeks, "Hello," he said probably out of politeness.
"I'm Alex, I came here with Mr. Salvatore and his nephew Stefan," I said looking towards Stefan and Zach that were standing together with who I supposed was Liz Forbes, since she was dressed in police garb, "I'm sorry to hear about your parents, I just want you to know that eventually it does get better."
"How would you know?" he snarled, startling me a bit.
I fiddled with my hands and sighed, "Cause I lost my family too, about six months ago," my voice was low, almost a murmur, Jeremy looked at me with interest, "We were vacationing on a cruise ship, my entire family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins… I survived and they didn't, it was hard, extremely hard to be alone in the world, to feel so lost," I could feel my eyes tearing up and I looked up to blink the tears away, "but I somehow held on, it was not easy and there were times when I wanted the pain to end, I almost did end it, several times, but I held on and then I met Stefan and he's helped me a lot and I'm not here to tell you that I am back to one hundred percent, the progress its slow and it hurts every day that they're not here, but it gets better," my voice broke in that last word.
"Thank you, I, uh, I'm Jeremy" he said quietly.
I offered him a shaky smile and patted his knee, "you're welcome, Jeremy."
I returned to Stefan's side and he pulled me into a one armed hug as we waited for Zach to finish paying his respects. I spotted two girls that could only be Bonnie and Caroline huddled together in a corner with two other boys, probably Tyler and Matt, Vicky was also hovering nearby. I spent the rest of the service next to Stefan as I didn't trust my emotions anymore. I briefly wondered if Elian had held a service like this for my family, I had never asked, too lost in my grief to care. But between the people of Mystic Falls, the emotions were back falling on me like a buckle of ice cold water.
I was relieved when Stefan told Zach that we were leaving and that we could walk back to the boarding house. Zach threw a few worried looks my way, but Stefan assured him that we would be fine. I asked to go to the bathroom before leaving and Mrs. Lockwood escorted me to a bathroom upstairs since the others were occupied, the house was brimming with people and I had to give it to the woman, she was a wonderful host.
In the bathroom I splashed my face with cold water, thankful that I had decided to not wear makeup. I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I looked 'fine', fine enough to walk out and leave this place. I realized that I didn't have a towel and frowned when I noticed that there were no hand towels available, although there was a small cabinet beneath the sink, I crouched and opened it, and bingo, there were towels, I removed the one that was first when I noticed something.
Carefully I stuck my hand inside the cabinet and to the side I moved the wood a little bit until I pulled out a slightly translucent gemstone, my eyes widened as I realized what I had just found in the tower cabinet, I closed my hand around it and swore under my breath. With Elena dead, the thing was practically useless, right?
I closed my eyes as I considered what to do with it, I could put it back and forget about it, I could and I definitely should've, but I didn't. I slid it in the inside pocket of my jacket before rearranging the towels, I walked out of the bathroom and Carol was there waiting for me, I smiled at her and thanked her, just as another person entered the bathroom. She returned me to Stefan and I thanked her again.
X
"Hey," Stefan called softly as we neared the Boarding House, I looked at him and smiled,"Everything okay?"
"Yeah, I just… I just forgot how bad it felt," I said sincerely, Stefan was quick to pull me into a hug and press a kiss to the top of my head, "I never knew if someone held a service for them."
"Alex," Stefan said carefully, I let go of him so I could look him in the eyes.
"I was in a hospital unconscious and I don't know who took care of everything," I said as I began to sob, "My entire family and I didn't even had the strength to visit the cemetery afterwards, I just left, I left, Stefan, I tried to drown myself in alcohol and sex and it didn't work and now I feel horrible with myself because you're a fantastic guy that deserves someone whole, not whatever mess I am."
Stefan pulled me into an urgent kiss in the middle of the driveway and my world spun, "Hey, hey," he said holding my face in his hands as tears streamed down my face, everything that I had bottled up until this moment pouring out like a rainstorm, "Alex, you're the most amazing person that I've met in my life," he said as he looked into my eyes, "you're kind, thoughtful and I love the way you hate to wake up before nine am everyday, or the way you drink your coffee with too much sugar, or how much you actually cuddle Ghost."
"Stef," I tried to say.
Stefan pressed another kiss to my mouth, "Let me finish, you're not broken, okay? You're just human and that's just fine, you lost your family and you were dealing with the pain in the only available way, and sure that your parents would understand, I do, I don't care what you did, I don't, I'm just glad I found you and that's it, and I know we're still getting to know each other and that there are things that we probably haven't told each other, but I've fallen in love with you and I just never thought I would feel anything like this in my life and this trip has been a mistake and I'm sorry but I'll make it up to you."
I was speechless, because Stefan had just told me that he loved me and that was the only thing that my brain could process at the moment, despite all the pain that I was feeling at the moment, Stefan was my light out of the dark tunnel of my thoughts, I pulled him by his shirt and pressed my lips to his, putting everything I hadn't said into that kiss, Stefan kissed me back without missing a beat and for that small moment everything was perfect.
"This trip was not a mistake," I murmured against his lips, "This place is beautiful and your uncle Zach makes the best waffles."
Stefan laughed before pressing another kiss to my lips, "You're beautiful," he said as he pulled me into a hug.
I pressed my head against his chest, the beating of his undead heart comforting me in a way that I didn't think possible until this moment, I closed my eyes and took in this moment, I truly didn't deserve Stefan Salvatore but I was glad that he had decided to give me a chance.