Dear Diary,
It all started last week; I felt so tired and unwell and I was throwing up so much for two days and at first I thought it was a stomach bug or something but then I noticed some other changes. My stomach had changed shape and started looking bloated but the bloating wouldn't go away and then I checked my calendar and saw that I had missed my period, I should have got it 10 days after Troy and I first had sex but it never arrived so I went and brought a pregnancy test, it was positive. To be honest I don't think I needed the pregnancy test, as soon as I saw that I had missed my period and the puking and very slightly swollen stomach I already knew.

This was not supposed to happen! I looked in the mirror today just as I was getting into the shower and I didn't even recognise myself. I hate to say it but I used to judge girls who ended up pregnant in high school, I used to think that they were throwing their lives away and they weren't going to have a real future anymore. I used to always say to myself 'that will never be me' and now look at me... knocked up at 17 years old and in the exact same situation.

One of the things I always heard when a girl in school found herself pregnant was that it was an 'accident' and I hated it when they would say that. How the hell was it an accident? Contraception is so easily available now through schools or your doctor or clinics, there was no such thing as an accident... or so I thought. Now I'm here and saying the exact same thing, I got pregnant by mistake and this was karma coming to bite me on the ass.

I don't even know what to do. How do I tell Troy? How do I tell my parents? My parents were going to kill me! My dad is going to kill Troy, disown me, throw me out and then kill me and my mother will do absolutely nothing about it. of course I also need to tell Troy and I don't know how he will react which is scarier than knowing how my parents will... I don't want him to hate me or think I'm ruining his life but I also need him to help me come up with a solution, we need to make a decision on what to do together. I need him so much right now and I'm scared he's not going to be there and I'll have to do all of this on my own.

My life is over.

Gabriella x

My positive pregnancy test was sat on the desk next to my diary, I studied that pink plus sign for the millionth time and I thought about what that little pink sign meant and how my life was changed forever.

"Gabriella, dinner is ready!" My mom called from downstairs.

I can't let her or anybody see my pregnancy test so I put the test and the box in my school bag and made my way downstairs. My parents were sat at the dinner table in their usual places. My dad was sat at the top of the table with my mom sitting to the left of him, my place to his right and my dinner was already sitting there waiting for me.

"So sweetie, tell me about school. How is everything?" My dad asked.

"Everything is going really well, still maintaining all A's" I answered.

"Excellent" He praised.

"You know, I've been speaking to a few people I know who have connections at Stanford and it is looking really promising for you to be going there next year. The next 18 months are going to be amazing for you" My mom told me with excitement.

Stanford? Stanford is the last thing on my mind right now.

"Is everything ok? You don't seem happy" My dad stated.

"I'm fine, just nervous about everything" I told him.

"You are going to go to Stanford, I know you will. You have perfect grades, perfect school record and with your after school activities in the debate club... well you are just the person Stanford is looking for" He said and I smiled at him.

I ate my dinner slowly as my parents spoke about their day. They are both very successful lawyers but in different fields, my mom is a family lawyer and deals a lot with parents who are getting divorced or custody battles and my dad is criminal lawyer and mainly works for the defence, my mom has tried to get him on the prosecution side for a while but he seems happy working defence.

My dream was to work as a prosecution lawyer and maybe go up against my dad in court one day, I guess now that isn't going to happen. I have probably ruined any chance I ever had at getting into Stanford now that I'm pregnant. I don't even like saying that word, pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant; I never wanted to get pregnant... at least not yet.

"Can I be excused?" I asked as I felt tears start to well up.

"Yes you may" Dad said and I rushed upstairs.

I rushed up the stairs and closed my bedroom door behind me, sliding down the door crying. I wrapped my arms around my knees and started crying. I am known at East High for making good decisions, for being the daughter every parent wants their kid to be like, for being a good student and a good daughter. This is going to ruin my whole life and I don't know what to do to make everything better again.

T>>>&G

Taylor wanted to come over and do some studying tonight, like she does every Thursday because it is the only day that we don't get time to see the boys after school due to training. Thursday is their late session and they train from 3:30pm-7:30pm and they are normally so tired by then that they just got home, shower and go to bed.

I wanted to talk to Taylor about everything that has going on but I wasn't sure how to tell her and I don't really think she is going to be able to give me the kind of advice I needed. She has never dealt with something like this before and she isn't going to know what I'm supposed to do because no matter what happens or what decisions I make, someone is going to get hurt it is probably going to be me. I can't see Troy wanting to raise a baby right now so who know if he'll stick around... who knows if I'm even keeping the baby; if I give the baby up for adoption or get an abortion, it's going to cause me so much pain to do, I know it will.

"Earth to Gabriella" Taylor called in a sing song voice.

"I'm sorry... what did you say?" I asked.

"Your History notes..." She said "Are you crying?" She questioned in worry.

"I need the bathroom" I stated urgently and got up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom.

I looked at myself in the mirror and saw the small change in my stomach area. If anyone else looked at it, all it looked like was that I had a big lunch or something but I knew what it was... there was a baby growing in there and I'm not as excited as I should be about it. When you get pregnant it is supposed to be an exciting and happy time but for me it was the complete opposite, I was so scared and felt so stupid for letting me get myself in this whole situation.

I dried my eyes and made myself look presentable once again and went back into my bedroom where I saw Taylor still sitting on my bed, my school bag was open and she was holding the pregnancy test.

"Were you not going to tell me about this?" She asked, sounding hurt that I hadn't come to her.

"Taylor..." I started but then realised that I didn't actually know what to say.

I sat down next to her on the bed and I just started crying, the tears just wouldn't stop and Taylor wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair as she tried to comfort me.

"Oh sweetie" She whispered "Everything is going to be ok, I promise you. I will help you get through this" She said and rubbed her hand up and down my back "Everything is going to be ok" She repeated but she didn't sound confident.

"What am I going to do?" I asked.

"First, you need to tell Troy and the two of you are going to figure this out. He won't let you go through all of this on your own. You also have me and your friends, we're going to be here and help you with anything that we can" She explained.

"My life is over" I sobbed and I heard her sigh before she tightened her hug.

"Don't worry" She whispered.

T>>>&G

After Taylor left my place last night, I couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that someone else knew my secret but it wasn't the person who I wanted to know the most. Troy deserved to know about what was happening... this was his baby too and I don't want to make any kind of decisions without him and talking to him and see what he's feeling and thinking about everything but I don't know how to tell him. It's not an easy thing to bring up and it's not like I can just blurt it out to him or text him, I was terrified about telling him and I had been wracking my brain trying to find out the best way to tell him and then it came to me this morning when I was walking through the halls to homeroom.

It was Friday and Troy didn't have basketball and I didn't have debate club so I asked him if he wanted to go to one of our favourite spots after school. Troy had mentioned asking our friends to join us but I convinced him that it was best that it was just the two of us for a change and thankfully he agreed to it without much thought.

I honestly felt like he could tell just by looking at me that I was either keeping something from him or he knew that I was pregnant but he really did seem oblivious to all of the thoughts going on inside my crazy head. I must be an amazing actress or he just isn't paying that much attention to what I was feeling.

I was sat in homeroom and Troy was sitting in his chair in the front row, I kept my eyes on him as Ms Darbus was ranting about something to do with musical theatre, I wasn't really listening to her. I noticed that Troy was doodling on his notepad, not paying attention to Ms Darbus either. He looked so carefree which was rare for Troy because he was always worried about something; basketball, his grades, his parents or our relationship and it hurt me to know that within the next 12 hours, his whole life was about to change.