"No freaking way, there is no way that is true!"
"It is I heard about it, hell I saw it myself!"

Lucy had no idea what the hell was going on when she entered the guild hall in the late afternoon. While the guild was rowdy as usual there seemed to be a congregation of mages around the bar.

What she saw greatly surprised her. She saw Laxus Dreyar sitting on one of the barstools while Cana was pointing a accusatory finger at him.

Besides Laxus, two members of his personal guard- The Thunder Legion: Bickslow and Evergreen was standing next to him acting like they were trying to protect him from one of Cana's spells.

"Come on Laxus admit it! Make this easier for everyone involved and just fess up to the truth."

Lucy, still wildly confused asked Mira "Wait, what is going on?"

"Well according to Cana, she saw both Laxus and Freed kissing in one of streets of Magnolia." Mira told the young Celestial Spirit Mage.

The rumor floored Lucy. Laxus and Freed? She had to admit that Freed had an obsession with Laxus but she didn't think it went that far. Or did it? She knew that there was a rumor that both Laxus and Mirajane had hooked up about two years go, but this was something else.

"Ha! There is no way Laxus and Freed are a thing, I mean look at him. He looks like he gets girls by the minute." Gajeel responded with smirking laugh.

Lucy looked around to the rest of her friends. Erza was apparently scandalized, Natsu looked like he really did not care, and Gray just looked amused by the whole thing.

"Well there is one way to find out if this is true or not." Lucy began to talk suddenly stealing everyone attention.

And before she knew it, she began to sing.

Lucy: There! Right There! Look at that tan, well-tinted skin. Look at the killer shape he's in. Look at that slightly stubbly chin. Oh please, he's gay, totally gay.

Gajeel: I'm not about to celebrate, Every trait could indicate the totally straight expotriate. This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

All: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to assume that a man who wears perfume Is automatically radically fay?

No one had really notice Laxus had been wearing perfume assuming that he was way to manly for something like perfume.

Natsu: But look at his quaffed and crispy locks.

Lucy: Look at his silk, translucent socks.

Gajeel: There's the eternal paradox. Look what we're seeing.

Lucy: What are we seeing?

Gajeel: Is he gay?

Lucy: Of course he's gay.

Gajeel: Or Western?

Nobody had really considered that, after all both Laxus and the Thunder Legion had done a lot of traveling during the one year Fairy Tail was disbanded. So perhaps the rumor was only based on a bunch of western stereotypes.

All: Ohh...Gay or Western? It's hard to guarantee. Is he gay or Western?

And for some reason everyone turned their heads to Gray.

Gray: Well, hey don't look at me.

Everyone calmed down for a second before Erza began to pick up the singing once again.

Erza: You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports. They play peculiar sports.

All: In shiny shirts and tiny shorts. Gay or foreign fella? The answer could take weeks. They will say things like "Ciao Bella" while they kiss you on both cheeks.

Lucy: Oh please.

All: Gay or Western? So many shades of gray.

Gray: Depending on the time of day, the mages of Blue Pegasus go either way.

That was another excellent point, as Laxus and the rest of the Thunder Legion had also been brief members of Blue Pegasus during the one-year disbandment.

All: Is he gay or European? Or

Mira: There! Right There! Look at that condescending smirk, Seen it on every guy at work. That is a metro-hetero jerk, That guy's not gay, I say no way.

All: That is the elephant in the room. Well is it relevant to presume that a hottie in that costume.

Lucy: Is automatically, radically

Gajeel: Ironically, chronically

Erza: Certainly, pertin'tly

Gray: Genetically, medically

All: Gay, officially gay, officially gay, gay, gay, gay, gay?

Mira who was serving Laxus a drink suddenly had her hand grabbed with Laxus planted a kiss on it. Putting everyone back at square one.

All: Dammit! Gay or Western?

Gajeel: So stylish and relaxed.

All: Is he gay or Western?

Gajeel: I think his chest is waxed.

Erza: But they bring their boys up different there, It's culturally diverse. It's not a fashion curse.

All: If he wears a kilt or bears a purse. Gay or just exotic? I still can't crack the code.

Evergreen: Yet his accent is hypnotic, but his shoes are pointy-toed.

All: Huh. Gay or Western? So many shades of gray.

Suddenly, Lisanna made a bizarre declaration to the entire guild.

Lisanna: But if he turns out straight, I'm free at 8 on Saturday.

All: Is he gay or Western? Gay or Western? Gay or West-

Suddenly Natsu, who had not been involved In the entire debate up until now suddenly said "Wait a minute! Give me a chance to crack this guy. I have an idea I'd like to try."

"The floor is yours." Gajeel replied.

Natsu then began walking up to Laxus and began questioning him.

"So Mr. Dreyar, this alleged affair with Ms. Strauss has been going on for...?"

"2 years." Laxus replied.

"And your first name again is...?

"Laxus"

"And your boyfriend's name is...?"

"Freed." And at the answer, the guild hall went so quite that you could hear a pin-drop.

Laxus realizing his mistake began trying to cover it up "I'm sorry! I misunderstand. You say boyfriend. I thought you say best friend. Freed is my best friend."

"You bastard!" As a voice suddenly called out from the front of the guild hall.

Everyone turned around seeing Freed Justine, mad as hell as currently glaring death eyes at Laxus.

"You lying bastard! That's it. I no cover for you, no more! Peoples. I have a big announcement!" Freed announced.

Freed: This man is Gay and Western! And neither is disgrace. You've got to stop your being and completely closet case. It's me not her he's seeing. No matter what he say. I swear he never, ever, ever swing the other way. You are so gay, You big parfait! You flaming boy in cabaret.

Laxus: I'm straight!

Freed: You were not yesterday. So if I may, I'm proud to say, He's gay!'

All: And Western!

Freed: He's gay!

All: And Western!

Freed: He's gay!

All: And Western and Gay!

Laxus finally giving up, went over and gave Freed a huge kiss that was just adorable.

Laxus: Fine, okay, I'm gay!

The guild finally erupted in cheers having learned the truth about that damn rumor.

All: Hooray!

Lucy could not help but smile. This was certainly one of the most interesting days she had at Fairy Tail and one she would never forgot.