"…chan?"
Jesus fucking Christ his ass hurt like a bitch.
Katsuki groaned, shuddered out a hacking cough and forced himself to sit up. What had the little bitch done to him to—
"DEKU!" his eyes flew open and he leaped to his feet, only to wobble and splash back down. Splash? With a sick feeling, Katsuki looked down. The relief he felt was pathetically overwhelming when he confirmed he hadn't fallen into a puddle of his best friend's gore, but rather a shallow stream. Then he frowned and placed his hand under the surface of the water. It felt real. Was this part of her fucking quirk? What was this? He looked around him. Where was the warehouse?
The sky was clear and blue, with nary a cloud overhead. There were rolling hills covered in rustling grass and groves of trees. A shadow of a bridge was being cast by the sun, falling across his shoulders. He recognized this place.
"Kaachan?! Are you okay?" Katsuki slowly turned around, soaking the front of his trousers in the stream as well. He was rewarded by the tear stained face of Deku.
"What are you doing?" Katsuki whispered, hearing with horror how young his voice sounded. He must have sounded angry to Little Deku, holy crap Deku was a baby, rather than disoriented because his eyes filled even more.
"You—you looked like you needed help," Deku held out a hand to him and a shiver crawled down Katsuki's spine. He half expected to feel that old anger rise up. The rage that Deku dare even think the he needed the help of a quirkless nobody like…like…
"…Deku…" Katsuki leaped up and threw his arms around Deku, tackling him into the water. "I'm sorry" Katsuki whispered into his mane of crazy, curly green hair. "I'm so sorry."
"Whaaa?" Deku cried. "Kaachan, are you okay? We're gonna get sick Kaachan, let me up!" Katsuki slid off of Deku, realizing that it would be very easy for Tiny Deku to get sick. He kept a hand around the back of Deku's neck and took a good look at him.
He was so little. His face was even rounder and chubbier than he remembered, soft and faintly red blushed from crying. His eyes were wide and deep, intelligent for a five year old. Were they five? He helped Deku up, then began to lead the way back up to the top of the bridge, where their classmates were waiting for them. How did he fall off that stupid bridge again? Fuck. It's been so long, he can't remember.
They'd almost reached the other kids when Katsuki remembered. He remembered an old regret that he carried with him his whole life. "Izuku," Katsuki looked him in the eyes. "Thanks."
Deku's smile was the brightest and prettiest thing Katsuki had seen for a long, long time. Tiny Deku wrapped his little arms around Katsuki and made an indescribable sound that he'd only ever heard babies and Deku make.
"Kaachan!" Deku sobbed.
"LET GO OF ME YOU BIG DEKU!"
*******1047******
Katsuki sat in his bed later that night and pondered the situation he'd found himself in. First of all, it was obvious that the little brat had sent him back. Far back. But Katsuki wasn't about to complain. Not only was Deku not dead, but Katsuki had a chance to fix everything he ever regretted (which obviously wasn't much mind you because he hardly ever made any mistakes worth mentioning).
He might be able to save All Might.
He could definitely prevent Best Jeanist from being hurt to such a horrible degree.
Heck, he might even be able to put Endeavor out of the picture a little bit earlier and save them all a lot of headache.
Satisfied, Katsuki stretched out leisurely on his childhood bed. His stomach was filled with his mom's cooking, and everyone he cared about was safe. For the moment. Deku was fine. All Might was alive. Their coworkers hadn't even begun middle school yet, and so they'd be okay for a few more years.
Kiri.
With a pang, Katsuki instinctively reached for a phone that wasn't there. He wanted to talk to Eijiro. Usually around this time, they'd be wrestling for control of the TV remote on their couch, while trying not to crush their stupid Pomeranian as it nipped at their ankles. They'd be just getting back from their patrol, getting ready for a late dinner.
Katsuki didn't miss his idiot with the stupid hard and weird smile and uncomfortably hard abs and warm hugs and infectious laughter and their little home with the dumb dog Eijiro wanted so badly.
They would have been married right now, if Katsuki hadn't been such an asshole that Deku had to literally drag him from the building before he exploded. If he and Deku hadn't been out and about, Deku wouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. There would have been no need or desire to turn back time, because his life had turned out fucking perfect.
Suddenly, Katsuki wasn't so sure about turning back time. About changing shit. All Might, as much as he respected the dude, wasn't half the hero Deku became. And he was old, wasn't he? He would have had to retire soon anyway. And if All Might wasn't pressed for time, he might have held onto his quirk longer and Izuku would have been quirkless for life.
If Izuku was quirkless…Katsuki wouldn't have had that bridge to the rest of his classmates.
Would he and Kiri have even been friends? Let alone…let alone…
His lover. His finace. His fucking husband.
There was a version of Eijiro Kirishima that Katsuki would never get back and he fucking hurt from the sudden feeling of loss.
All of the blood, sweat and tears that he had shared with Deku had been erased. They were still friends. Best friends. But at what cost? Sure, Katsuki had been a butt nugget for the majority of his childhood, but he straightened out eventually. Aizawa Sensei had seen to that.
Aizawa. Aizawa wasn't a teacher yet, was he?
Feeling lost and adrift, Katsuki fell asleep wondering where everybody was.
****1047****
Katsuki had originally been slightly—only slightly, mind you—concerned about being able to keep up appearances. Afterall, he was a grown-ass man in a fucking five year old's skin. He needn't have been. It was stupidly easy to slip into this persona that he supposes used to be him. Maybe it still was him, buried deep down. One would think that after all the trauma, all the personal growth, all the –dare he say it—mellowing out that he'd gone through, you would think that the vestiges of little preschooler Katsuki would have been burned out of existence entirely.
But that didn't seem to be the case.
It was easy, maybe it was too easy, to laugh and carry on with Little Deku like nothing was wrong. Like he was a child. It was easy to play pretend, to go exploring with Deku, to play childish games like Hero and Villain. The first time around, they had played that game almost all the time, before Katsuki had learned Deku was…a deku. Then he refused, but even back before Katsuki would always insist that he play the hero. Now, though, he let Deku play All Might, finding an ironic humor and pathetic comfort in the familiarity. Furthermore, it was fucking hilarious to pretend to be a villain with such vigor and conviction that the neighbors would timidly raise concerns to his mother, only to be violently shut down by the firecracker of a woman who birthed him.
Going to school was a challenge, funnily enough, more so than the first time around. When Katsuki had actually been a child, school had always been too easy until going to UA. Now, though, he didn't want to bring extra attention to himself until Middle School, when he would work towards, once again, being accepted to UA.
He remembered reading a shitty Shakespeare play—shut up, yeah he can read, go fuck yourself—about a prince named Hal, who, in playing a long game, convinced his entire kingdom that he was a good for nothing bag of dicks, only to apparently transform into the golden heir in the kingdom's time of need. In a rather long-winded soliloquy –basically the dude was talking to himself because plot reasons—the dickbag prince explained that lowering the bar, then vaulting over it was the best way to get attention, because any good deed done by someone who no one expects anything from, just automatically looks so much better than the same thing being done by a good person who people already expect everything from.
As someone who people used to assume would grow up to be a villain, Katsuki can testify to the accuracy of that ideology. He was smart at fuck, and he'd fuck up any douche who would say otherwise. So, obviously, the best thing to do would be to pretend to be a dumb as a pile of shit, so that when he revealed his true self later on, it would be even more impressive than it was the first time around. It would also help back up any sudden personality shifts he would have to take on, explain it away as him suddenly taking life seriously or some crap like that.
Also, it would make Little Deku look like even more of a genius by comparison.
So, Katsuki pretended to be illiterate. He pretended to get numbers mixed up. He pretended to have no attention span. He pretended to not understand the basic of basic scientific principals his poor teacher tried to impart to him. Maybe he went a little too far, but honestly he was having quite a bit of fun with it. Heh.
Little Deku didn't buy it, not at all. He would always(gently, politely, concernedly, fondly, timidly) ask "Kaachan" why he didn't try in school anymore. And Katsuki would always reply with some nonsense like "I DON'T NEED TO KNOW NUMEBRS TO BLOW STUFF UP!"
For real, he was having way too much fun being five again.
"But Kaachan," Deku wrung his tiny hands. "To be heroes, you need to go to school. They won't let you stay in school if you do bad!"
Katsuki grabbed his little friend's hands, making the preschooler stop abusing them. He looked down at the tiny, frail joints and unmarked skin, and remembered the hard, scarred hands of the Deku he lost. He squeezed Little Deku's hands. "Don't worry," Katsuki smiled at him. "I won't let you go to High School without me. I gotta be there to make sure no one beats you up, cos only I'm allowed to beat you up."
Deku tore his hands away and stomped his foot. It pleased Katsuki, because Deku was already showing more spirit than he did at this point of time in the original timeline. "You're not allowed to beat me up!" he protested, shrilly.
"Oh,yeah?" Katsuki grinned. He ran, slowly, after a fleeing Deku, eventually letting himself catch up and pin him to the ground, mercilessly poking the smaller boy in random places, making him cry and laugh and cry some more. "Cry baby, Deku!" Katsuki teased him.
"You're a bully!"
"And you're my nerd!"
"What's that mean?!"
"It's my job to be your bully, nerd!" Deku was about to argue, Katsuki could tell, but then he stopped, closing his mouth with a considering look. "And as your bully its only my job to beat you up, and I gotta beat up anyone else who tries!"
"I thought we were friends." Deku said, his voice a bit quieter.
"Don't be stupid." Deku's face fell. "I'm your bully. Bully's don't have friends! And when I grow up, Im'a be a Villain, and you'll be my Hero, so I'll still always beat you up!"
Slowly, Deku started to smile. Then horror over took his face. "YOU CANT BE A VILLAIN!"
Katsuki cackled in what he thought was a suitably impressive manic laugh for a five-year-old voice box. "ILL RULE THE WORLD!"
"Kaachan!"