"So you told him to build an altar to the Lord when no one asked and Samuel threw a hissy fit? So what?" Hastur snarled. Crawly was back in the one place he would rather not be. Back in Beelzebub's office. The worst place in all of Hell. And Hell was a pretty bad place to be all on its own.

"Yes, I did," Crawly mumbled. "He pissed off the prophet. A messenger of God."

"I don't really think it's all that evil." Hissed Ligur beside Hastur.

"I agree. We want to take down Saul from this inside. Your little stunt did almost nothing to help with that cause." Beelzebub mumbled tilting her head to the side and staring harshly at Crawly with those grey eyes. They were aflame with something despicable. He could almost see every harsh punishment being put before him and his throat almost closed with the anxiety that was causing. No. He wasn't about to go back into the bottomless pit. He had to fight this. He was better than this.

"I have another idea for a temptation." He said in a full face of confidence went on to explain. "Saul is at a weak point. His son disobeyed and he swore to him he won't be killed. However, this wasn't from the Almighty but from a breathe of a man and you know how bad She hates it when lower lifeforms try and stick words into Her mouth. Especially the humans."

Beelzebub raised an eyebrow and looked intrigued. "Go on." She mumbled.

"There is still a chance we could get him to disobey further and screw up even worse. He is a greedy bastard. It won't be that hard to push him to act upon it. We have already seen he is willing to set aside law and order for the sake of that son of his. Perhaps we could see if an extra push in the wrong direction will be any constellation to him and cause him to sin so bad that not even God Herself could keep him as a king."

"Yes, but how would we know this will work? The man is still full of faith and can easily be swayed by the angels on Earth." Ligur mumbled rolling his eyes.

"Ligur. I tempted Adam and Eve. I caused sinful thoughts to come into the world. Do you really think I couldn't find a way to force the hand of Saul into disobedience? The man is already on the verge of losing his mind with all this paranoia about losing his power. It would be all so easy to push him beyond the breaking point. Too easy in fact. Then we will have the Almighty backed into a corner. She will have to ask Samuel to pick a new and more righteous king. In other words, someone who is weak and can be easily tempted over to our side." Crawly said with cocky confidence while smiling more sinister than the grinch. But there was a joking nature in his eyes. Beelzebub saw this and instantly grew annoyed. But she had to admit Crawly's plan was so crazy it just might work.

"Alright Crawly. You have a week to do whatever it is you plan to do."

"I won't let you or our master Satan down, Lord Beelzebub. I have a plan. It will work. The stupid bastard won't know what hit him. Isreal is in a scalable with the Amalekites and their orders were to wipe everything and everyone out. But I know in Saul's heart he will let his greed get the better of him."

Beelzebub dismissed him but no sooner than when he was out in the hallway than he was stopped by Ligur and Hastur. Ligur pinned him to the filthy saliva filled wall while Hastur breathed hot smelly breathe of anger onto his face.

"Getting fucking cocky now aren't we Crawly? Tell me how many angels have you smitten or fought against? Seems to me like you are going all soft on me." Hastur panted into Crawly's face making him want to turn away and gag. But rebellion was in Crawly's blood. He won't let Hastur win. Not this time.

"Actually I am Hastur. For a duke of Hell, you really aren't familiar with much. Always running around acting like you own the place when in reality you don't even know the simplest food dishes the humans consume. Maybe that is why all your recent temptations have been nothing but flops. No one wants to listen to a demon who can't get with the times."

Hastur's nostrils flared in anger and the left side of his face twitched in rage. Ligur just seemed to be entangled in the conflict more than shocked. If there was one thing demons liked it was a good fight between two opposing demons.

"You take that back you fucking pussy!"

"Weak insult Hastur. A little girl could have come up with something better. But then again you would know all about that, won't you? You probably couldn't even get a little girl to do your biding, could you? Considering your lackluster performance it's no wonder they kept me up there for so long. Rather than you."

"I am a duke of Hell. Hell is my jurisdiction. Earth is yours. Piss off would ya? The stench the humans have left on you is making me sore." Hastur and Ligur both punched Crawly in the stomach for good measure before leaving him to his own devices. Crawly snapped his fingers to heal the bruises before making his way up to Earth.

Crawly overheard the conversation.

Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the Lord sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the Lord. This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. 3 Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy all that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.'"

So Saul summoned the men and mustered them at Telaim—two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand from Judah. Saul went to the city of Amalek and set an ambush in the ravine. Then he said to the Kenites, "Go away, leave the Amalekites so that I do not destroy you along with them; for you showed kindness to all the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt." So the Kenites moved away from the Amalekites.

Then Saul attacked the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, near the eastern border of Egypt. He took Agag king of the Amalekites alive, and all his people he totally destroyed with the sword. Crawly whispered sweet nothingness into his ear and got him to sin. The bastard was a greedy one and it was all too easy. But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

Then the word of the Lord came to Samuel: "I regret that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions." Samuel was angry, and he cried out to the Lord all that night.

Early in the morning Samuel got up and went to meet Saul, but he was told, "Saul has gone to Carmel. There he has set up a monument in his own honor and has turned and gone on down to Gilgal." When Samuel reached him, Saul said, "The Lord bless you! I have carried out the Lord's instructions."

But Samuel said, "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears? What is this lowing of cattle that I hear?" Saul answered, "The soldiers brought them from the Amalekites; they spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the Lord your God, but we totally destroyed the rest." "Enough!" Samuel said to Saul. "Let me tell you what the Lord said to me last night."

"Tell me," Saul replied.

Samuel said, "Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The Lord anointed you king over Israel. And She sent you on a mission, saying, 'Go and completely destroy those wicked people, the Amalekites; wage war against them until you have wiped them out.' Why did you not obey the Lord? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the Lord?"

Crawly kept in a snicker. He had to admit he was releshing in giving this guy what he fucking desereved.

"But I did obey the Lord," Saul said. "I went on the mission the Lord assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the Lord your God at Gilgal."

But Samuel replied "Does the Lord delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the Lord? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams. For rebellion is like the sin of divination, and arrogance like the evil of idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, he has rejected you as king."

Crawly's stomach churned. He reminded him of Aziraphale. Always going on and on about obeying God and the ineffible plan. He was bound to find out that Crawly had a hand in this. At best he would get an earful of whinning. At worst the angel would remove Crawly from his life entirely.

Then Saul said to Samuel, "I have sinned. I violated the Lord's command and your instructions. I was afraid of the men and so I gave in to them. Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord." But Samuel said to him, "I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the Lord, and the Lord has rejected you as king over Israel!" As Samuel turned to leave, Saul caught hold of the hem of his robe, and it tore. Samuel said to him, "The Lord has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to one of your neighbors—to one better than you. He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a human being, that he should change his mind."

Saul replied, "I have sinned. But please honor me before the elders of my people and before Israel; come back with me, so that I may worship the Lord your God." So Samuel went back with Saul, and Saul worshiped the Lord.

Saul was pathetic. Anyone could see what he was doing and didn't even need to be a demon like Crawly to get it.

Then Samuel said, "Bring me Agag king of the Amalekites."

Agag came to him in chains. And he thought, "Surely the bitterness of death is past." But Samuel said,"As your sword has made women childless, so will your mother be childless among women." And Samuel put Agag to death before the Lord at Gilgal. Then Samuel left for Ramah, but Saul went up to his home in Gibeah of Saul. Until the day Samuel died, he did not go to see Saul again, though Samuel mourned for him. And the Lord regretted that he had made Saul king over Israel.

The Lord said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king." But Samuel said, "How can I go? If Saul hears about it, he will kill me."The Lord said, "Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice to the Lord.' 3 Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate." Samuel did what the Lord said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, "Do you come in peace?" Samuel replied, "Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me." Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice.

When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the Lord's anointed stands here before the Lord." But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel. But Samuel said, "The Lord has not chosen this one either." Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, "Nor has the Lord chosen this one." Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, "The Lord has not chosen these." 11 So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?""There is still the youngest," Jesse answered. "He is tending the sheep."Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives." So he sent for him and had him brought in. He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the Lord said, "Rise and anoint him; this is the one." So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon David. Samuel then went to Ramah.

Now the Spirit of the Lord had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him. It was Ligur who was all more than happy to piss off a former champion of the Lord. Crawly was going to enjoy a nice long vacation for all his successes. Perhaps he would find Aziraphale. If he wasn't too busy, That damn angel and all his angel and good deeds business. Saul's attendants said to him, "See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you. Let our lord command his servants here to search for someone who can play the lyre. He will play when the evil spirit from God comes on you, and you will feel better."

So Saul said to his attendants, "Find someone who plays well and bring him to me."

One of the servants answered, "I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the lyre. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the Lord is with him."

Then Saul sent messengers to Jesse and said, "Send me your son David, who is with the sheep." So Jesse took a donkey loaded with bread, a skin of wine and a young goat and sent them with his son David to Saul. David came to Saul and entered his service. Saul liked him very much, and David became one of his armor-bearers. Then Saul sent word to Jesse, saying, "Allow David to remain in my service, for I am pleased with him." Whenever the spirit from God came on Saul, David would take up his lyre and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him. Crawly laughed his arse off at this and proceeded to continuously call Ligur the musical demon. All the demons of Hell soon caught on and began to tease in with Crawly. Even Beelzebub got in on the fun.