A/N: Thanks for the comments.
Jennifer Baratta - Thanks. This chapter will be another family focused one, but the action will return soon.
"Do you want to go back to the hotel?" Kelly asked that evening as she joined Alex on the beach.
"No. Well yes. But mom needs me here."
"Which is why you are out on the beach rather than with her?" Kelly asked.
"I'm just thinking." Alex said.
"About what?"
"I nearly lost mom, and if I had my last words would have been telling her she had never been a real mom to me."
"She knows you didn't mean it." Kelly said.
"Why am I such a jerk?"
"You're not a jerk." Kelly replied.
"Yes I am. I hurt so many people, including you. Why do I do it?"
"Do you want my professional opinion?" Kelly asked.
"Sure."
"Anger is a completely normal response to grief. Anger is your body's way of dealing with a threat. And nothing is more threatening than the loss of a loved one." Kelly started.
"Except when I let out my anger it destroys things." Alex said sadly.
"Not letting it out can be equally destructive." Kelly said. "Having an outlet is healthy. Some people get really sad. But because you are the strength of this family you feel you can't be sad. Or at least if you expressed your sadness you think you would be seen as weak and that you'd be letting your family down. So overtime you have adapted and now you express your grief as anger. Everyone who knows you understands and accepts that." Seeing that Alex was listening Kelly took it one step further. "What is dangerous is using alcohol to try and dull the pain."
"It's the only thing that helps me forget."
"Forgetting is also not healthy." Kelly pointed out. "And the combination of your inner rage and alcohol is what turns you into someone you are not proud of."
"I was so mean to mom and you." Alex said sadly.
"I understand." Kelly said hugging her. "But Alex, you have lost so much, everyone has a breaking point I don't want you to reach it. But if you do, I'll be with you every step of the way."
"Thank you." Alex said relaxing in her embrace. "I don't deserve you."
"Yes you do. And your first step to healing is accepting that." Kelly added as she continued to hold Alex.
"I know you think I'm crazy, but I am sure Kara is still alive."
"I know you do."
"But you don't believe me." Alex guessed.
"What about the DNA?"
"Maybe he had another Red Daughter. Or maybe it was another Bizarro. Or maybe he made a clone."
"Who's he and wouldn't he need Kara's DNA for that?" Getting lost in the details of the list.
"Lex. He runs the DEO he has full access to every sample Kara has ever given."
"You really think Lex is involved?"
"I don't know. But it makes more sense than Lena." Alex said. "Not that anything makes sense right now. But I will find out the truth." She added. "But first I need to fix things with mom. You were right I let her down by not going to the funeral. But I couldn't go. Going would have felt like I was betraying Kara."
"Your mom loves you and she knows how much pain you are in."
"That doesn't excuse what I said to her." Alex said getting to her feet. "Are you coming?" She asked when Kelly didn't move.
"I'm going to look at the stars awhile." Kelly said, wanting to ensure she didn't crowd Alex and her mother. "I'll see you inside."
"See you inside." Alex agreed as she walked off down the beach. Just before she got to the house, she pulled out her phone, that Kelly had returned to her. Pulling up a contact she typed.
"I'm sorry. You were right. I'm ready." Having sent the text she went inside.
Seeing J'onn sitting alone she asked.
"Where's mom?"
"Upstairs reading. I'm sure she'd love your company though." He explained. Nodding Alex silently walked upstairs before pausing outside her mother's room. After a few deep breaths she pushed the door open.
"Mom." Alex said entering Eliza's bedroom.
"Hey." Eliza said looking up from her book. "You okay?"
"Me? You're the one with a broken wrist." Alex said deflecting.
"Yes you." Eliza pressed.
"I'm … I … I'm so sorry about everything I said. I didn't mean it."
"I know you didn't." Eliza said tapping the empty part of the bed next to her. As Alex sat down Eliza went on. "You were upset. I understand. But even if you did mean it, I'm your mother. That means I love you no matter what."
"I love you too."
"I know Sweetie." Eliza replied.
-00-
"I was about to come look for you." J'onn said when Kelly finally came back into the house.
"I didn't want to crowd them. Where are they?"
"Upstairs in Eliza's room. They are both asleep." J'onn said. "Hopefully that means they had a good talk."
"That's good." Kelly said sitting opposite the Martian before asking. "So how are you doing? I know Kara was like a daughter to you."
"Loss doesn't get any easier." J'onn said sadly. "And time never really heals. All I can do is try to live in a way that honours the memory of those I have lost." He added before asking. "How's Alex?"
"In pain." Kelly said. "I don't think she's seen Lex's eulogy yet. When she does we may have problems."
"It's going to be played for awhile. I don't think there is a way of stopping her seeing it." J'onn pointed out.
"I know. I just -"
"Want to protect her? I know." J'onn smiled. "So do I. Have you mentioned Lex's offer?"
"No. I thought it would be best coming from you. Have you had any thoughts about it?" Kelly asked.
"I'm still trying to figure out what he is up to."
"You didn't believe him?"
"I believe he wants us to find Lena. It's the why I don't buy." J'onn said before asking Kelly.
"Do you believe that Alex is convinced that Kara is alive because she is sure she might be or because she refuses to let go?"
"Alex is analytical. If it had been anyone else she would have accepted the death." Kelly said. "But she is ignoring the evidence and that might well be because deep down she genuinely believes that Kara is alive. But that belief could just be based in guilt and denial. At the end of the day it probably doesn't make much difference. Either way I'm convinced she is going to look for her."
"Me too." J'onn said before asking. "Are you going to try and stop her?"
"Something tells me I wouldn't be able to even if I wanted to." Kelly said. "If Alex gives up drinking and focuses on the search it could be a good thing. But if she is wrong it will break her."
"Ultimately I think Lena holds the answers. Finding Lena is the only way to give Alex answers."
"The question is do you let Lex pay for that search?" Kelly asked.
"At this stage we have nothing lose. If he does pay we have an excuse to stay close to him."
"That works both ways." Kelly pointed out.
"I know." J'onn agreed.
TBC...
A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing.