Episode 58 Ending-Night in Togenkyo
He fell. He fell! She screamed in her head as she glanced down at the splayed form of Inuyasha.
"Kagome!" she heard him growl as he went to sit up. She adverted her face as she tried to get a hold of her emotions. She was too afraid to speak seeing as she wasn't sure if she would just break down right here and now. He seemed uncomfortable as she cried against him, her small hands gripping his shirt. She had sat him because he was being a jerk but now watching him starting to stand up, caused emotions to rise from deep inside of her.
"We should probably go see to the men in the village." Miroku said after a moment of silence.
She nodded her head and followed Miroku into the building. By the tiny village, there were several men looking confused and whispering. She could not even start to try to understand what they were going through. They had wanted to become sages and to find peace but instead they were used as fodder. She saw the samurai off the side. He nodded his head towards the small group but he kept his eyes on the other men.
"Miroku? Can you see to them?" Kagome asked quietly and without pausing for his answer, she followed the steps down into a basement. At the bottom of the steps, she saw the thorny vines and pieces of the ceiling all over the floor. Something caught her eye, and upon closer inspection, she noticed that it was wet blood.
"Inuyasha." She whispered softly and she realized he was most likely wrapped in them at some point. Quickly adverting her eyes, she glanced around and saw her neatly folded clothes out of the way in the corner of the room. She stared at her clothes for a second before putting a hand on Inuyasha's bloody kosode, which was still wrapped around her body. She fell to her knees as she remembered once again that Inuyasha had fallen over the cliff protecting her. Idiot! She thought again as she buried her face into her shirt, her shoulders shaking as she cried. What would she have done if he had died? It was her fault because she had stopped paying attention to Tokajin. She would never forget when he came running towards her, his eyes narrowed in anger and intent on her. Her body froze as her brain ran at 1000 miles per second but she arrived at the knowledge that there was no way to stop him and she was about to die. Hearing Inuyasha's command, she had instinctively followed him. She raised her head in time to meet his eyes as he fell over the cliff. Now, she couldn't stop seeing him falling to his death every time she closed her eyes. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Kagome screamed in her head, but she was unsure if it was at him or herself.
"Kagome?" Miroku called. She quickly straightened her shoulders and tried to stop the tears from falling. She just needed to hold it together until they reached the village.
"One moment!" She called up as she quickly changed. Walking up the stairs she saw most of the men had wandered out of the room. Her eyes went to Inuyasha, who was standing closest to the stairs with his arms crossed as though once again protecting her.
"Thank you." She said quietly, keeping her eyes adverted. As she passed him, she handed his kosode to him.
"Okay, I'm ready!" She said with false cheeriness as she looked towards at Miroku.
The trip back to the Kaede's village seemed to take forever. All she focused on was putting one foot in front of the other as she followed behind Miroku. She knew several times, Miroku and Inuyasha spoke to her, but she could not remember any specific words or even if she had responded. Her whole focus was not to cry and to keep moving until she could return to her Era.
"Are you okay, Kagome?" Shippo asked as he landed on her shoulder.
Kagome shot him a reassuring smile. "Yeah I'm okay." The tumultuous thoughts continued but Kagome was starting to arrive to a decision. Tears formed in her eyes several times but she continued to force them back as she walked behind Miroku as far away from Inuyasha as she could be. She felt so much shame.
Once they arrived, Kagome gave a false smile and all but ran to the well and hurled herself into it. Once she heard the muted noise of the city, she was overcome by grief. It was her fault that he had almost died. Her mind traveled to a few weeks ago when Inuyasha had almost left her so he could focus on protecting Kikyo. Kagome fought to remain by his side but she regretted it seeing as she almost caused his death. If Kagome had remained here in her present time, Inuyasha wouldn't have almost died. Maybe he should stay with Kikyo.
Kagome shook as the feeling of loss and guilt overwhelmed her. Before she returned home, she had called Inuyasha to her, handed him the shards. She was able to get him to keep them by telling him that she had no place to put them and they would be safer with him. He seemed confused and asked her what her problem was but with a fake smile, she turned and ran for the well
She did not know how long she sat at the bottom of the well but she eventually stood and pulled herself out. She truly didn't want to leave him but the fact of the matter was, she had almost caused his death and that was unacceptable. It helped her tightened her heart as she figured that she was doing the right thing. As long as he was alive in the world, she was happy. She smiled slightly at her mother and gave her a hug before walking up to her bedroom. Once there, she closed the door and curled up on her side facing the wall. She closed her eyes and saw him once again falling over the edge. He almost died. She thought and felt sick to her stomach. If it weren't for Ninmenka catching him and trying to consume him, he would have fallen to his death.
She felt herself drift in and out of sleep as she continued to cry for him.
"Kagome!" She heard the voice but it was far away. Inuyasha was falling into a tree, there was blood everywhere and she could see the life leaving his eyes.
"INUYASHA!" She screamed for all she was worth but she could not reach him. With a final thrust of a tree branch into his heart, he yelled out in pain. His eyes met hers and she could see the life slowly leaving his eyes and with a final shudder he went still. Each time he had almost been killed flashed through her mind as his lifeless body was picked up and hurled over a cliff.
"It is your fault!"
Kagome turned and Kikyo was standing a few feet away glaring at her.
"If you had not lost focus, he would not have died."
Kagome felt tears in her eyes as she leaned over the cliff. "Inuyasha! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please come back!" She knew deep in her heart that he would never come back. She had truly lost him and it was her fault.
"KAGOME!" Kagome screamed as she bolted straight up to her name. Breathing hard, trembling and covered in sweat, she closed her eyes as she tried to gather her surroundings. Shaking hard, she glanced up and was caught by a pair of very real and alive golden eyes.
"INUYASHA!" She screamed as she launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him.
"Uhh…"She heard but she didn't care. He was alive. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gripped his white flowing hair in her hands. Laying her head on his slightly damp kimono, she buried her head into his shoulder as she slowly ran her hands over his back, assuring herself that this was real. He was truly alive and he was there with her.
"K-Kagome!" She could guess from his tone that his cheeks were bright red and he was uncomfortable and embarrassed. Releasing him, she sat back and looked up at him. As she suspected, his face was turned away and his cheeks were bright red, although, not as red as hers. That's when two things hit her, one was that his death had been a very realistic dream and two a very alive Inuyasha was in the modern era with her. She blinked. She had not expected him to follow her. That was why she had left him the Jewel Shards.
"What…what are you doing here?" She asked suddenly shy, embarrassed and loss.
"Miroku and Shippo were worried about you." He said gruffly as he wrapped his arms in his kimono, his face still turned away.
"Oh, I see." She fell quiet for a few moments to try to gather her thoughts. When he didn't offer anything else, she decided to continue, "I have arrived to a decision." She said quietly and took a deep breath. "You…almost died."
"Will you get over that? I'm alive aren't I?"
She blinked in surprise. She had not expected him to interrupt her. Yes he was alive but the vision of him falling over the cliff unwillingly came back and tears sprung into her eyes.
"I'm not going back with you, that's why I gave you the Jewel Shards. I will not be the cause of your death." Inuyasha didn't say anything but when she glanced up at him, she saw that he had turned his face back towards her. His ears had drooped down but the rest of his face was impassive. The droopy ears told her that he was upset.
"You don't want to be with me anymore?" Inuyasha asked quietly.
"No it's not that. You almost died because of me! It was all of my fault!" Kagome screamed as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"K-Kagome?"
"I-I-I-I'm sorry I-I-Inuyasha!" she said between gasps. She took a deep breath and said the rest "If I had been stronger…or faster or if I had kept paying attention…"
"Would you shut up about that already!?"
Kagome gasped whatever she had been about to say and glanced up at him. He was standing, a glower on his face,
"I-Inuyasha?"
"I'm alive! You're getting all upset about nothing!"
Silence fell and Kagome blinked her eyes rapidly and then turned on her side. She sighed and sat up on her bed, wanting to be somewhere else. Without a word, she grabbed some clothes and walked into the bathroom. Filling the tub, she sat in the hot water and gripped her knees to her chest. She didn't know what else she could say to Inuyasha. Sighing she felt the warmth of the bath seep into her bones and she relaxed into the water and started to reflect. She was surprised how melancholy she was especially since she had seen him almost die a few times but it was the fact that it was for her. Battles were one thing but this time he was almost died protecting her.
She sat in the tub for some time. She felt a bit better but she was still shaken from almost losing him. She reentered her room quietly, although she had expected Inuyasha to be gone by the time she was done with her bath. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw him. The light from the moon drifted over him, his face was softened in sleep, his beautiful golden eyes were closed, and his fit body was relaxed. She turned and closed the door. When she turned back around, his golden eyes were opened and he was staring at her. She wasn't sure what to say but she walked to him and fell to her knees in front of him.
"Are you sure you're okay?" She asked softly as she stared up into his face.
"Keh, of course I am, stupid!" He said gruffly.
"Stupid…"Kagome repeated quietly as she stood up and laid down in the bed. She was quiet for few minutes, thoughts tumbling in her mind before sitting up and staring at him.
"I got it!" She said smiling him as she snapped her fingers. "You must promise me here and now that you will never risk your life for mine again."
"No!"
"Inuyasha!"
"Kagome!"
She glared at him for a second before sighing; maybe she should try a different approach. She knelt in front of him a second time and stared into his eyes. He blinked at her when she settled herself in front of him. She could tell that he seemed uncomfortable. She smiled at him slightly before telling him the truth of her heart.
"Inuyasha please. I don't want you to die for me." She said earnestly as she clasped her hands together, staring deeply into his eyes.
"Keh! Who said I'm going to die?" He growled, blushing slightly and breaking eye contact with her.
Kagome moved slightly closer to him. She could smell him now. His scent was masculine but he smelled like fresh air and forest. It was her favorite scent ever because it smelled like life, love and home.
"What…you got a problem?" he said obviously uncomfortable, not looking at her.
"Promise me!"
"No way!"
"Inuyasha!"
"Will you get off my back?! I will always protect you and that means putting your life before mine."
"Who will put your life first?"
"Keh? Who cares"
"I care! I don't want you to die, especially while protecting me!"
"I will happily go to my death if I know you're safe!"
Kagome blinked as she stared up into his face. He had turned back towards her and was gripping his Kimono by his heart, his eyes filled with determination.
Sitting up on her knees, she closed the distance some more and stared into his eyes. "Same for me, Inuyasha! I don't want you to die ever. I want you to live and be happy. If it means my death, then so be it!"
He blinked "Kagome." He said softly before saying "Keh, t-that's stupid. No one would be willing to die for a half-demon."
Kagome shook her head and placed a hand on his arm. "I would," she said softly. She could feel him trembling slightly, his head turned to the side, his hair hiding his face. "Your life is just as important as mine."
"Keh!" She heard him utter. She sighed and sat more comfortably in front of him. As weird as it was, she felt oddly better. Nothing had truly been settled but the fact that he had looked so determined, set her heart beating. She knew that he meant it and that he really did care about her. He didn't have to love her but the fact that he would so passionately save and protect her touched her heart. She was not sure how to respond to him. She felt happy and giddy. The image of him gripping his heart, eyes flashing in determination were prominent in her mind.
She glanced up at him and saw that he still had his arms wrapped in his kimono, his head turned to the side but his trembling had stopped. His ears flickered towards her but he made no other movements. She sighed and moved so she was sitting next to him, her body slightly resting against his. She closed her eyes. She was quiet for a few minutes and she could feel warmth slowly seeping into her. She leaned slightly more into him, feeling the warmth surround her.
"Will you promise me something else then?" She said as she opened her eyes. Inuyasha had adjusted so she was leaning comfortably against his side, her head on his shoulder. She closed her eyes again, "Will you promise me that you will not do anything foolish to protect me." She was shocked to hear her voice slur although given the events of the day, she was not surprised that she was incredibly tired. Even keeping her eyes opened was starting to become a struggle. She had never slept against him or by him in the past but she couldn't find it in herself to move or care.
"I never do anything foolish."
"Pushing someone over the edge of the cliff….while still…human….was…foolish." She found it difficult to finish the sentence as she leaned even more of her body against him.
"Kagome, go to bed!" Her heard him say.
"I want to sleep here…against you." Normally she would have been mollified if she had admitted something like that to him, but she was too far gone to be upset.
"K-K-Kagome!" She felt herself being picked up and instinctively she wrapped her fingers in the closest thing to her. She didn't want to lose the heat. She felt safe and warm and she wasn't going to lose it now. She sighed and rubbed her head against something solid and warm.
"Inuyasha…please live…." She said before allowing the darkness to overcome her and she fell asleep.
Author's note. I usually write by interweaving both sides together but this time I am going to have two separate chapters with their thoughts.