The Bright Side of Love

When you fall into a pit of despair, the most important thing to remember is to look on the bright side. The bright side of love is so beautiful and important. Love is so deep and can be define and can be appointed to so many people. Real love is difficult and crazy but completly worth the work. The only problem with true love is the devastion of losing them. The only problem is that i saw it coming since he put that suit on, and im not talking about the one you wear to fancy events. Im talking about the IRON MAN SUIT, in that suit he was a marked man, each time he put that suit on he lost a part of him and that broke him. I could see it in his eyes, he looked at me differently, he talked different. I just wanted him to be safe but he wanted to do good with his new life. I just wanted him safe. So many people looked at him as a savior because they saved him but still talked about him. There were people that hated him, I mean really hated him. They tried to kill him, he was kidnapped and tortured and I died inside and I slipped into a black hole. I isolated my mind from the world and plastered on a smile. I pretended to be brave and strong because I didnt want to show anyone my weakness and that I was worried. I didnt want anyone talking or finding out about why I was crying….if they saw me. I told him to stop but he is a savior but his alway been a savior. He has always helped people and never cared about the fame but they said that he had to show his face, to be seen! So he did but not for them but for his parents company. His actions and attitude were just a fascade, something that he was going through. Its not an excuse but it shouldnt be attacked for it either.

The light side of all of this, is that he showed his real friends the real him. So while everyone raise their brow and question my interest with him, they would know if they knew him. Then we fell in love with him, actual love….. I didnt need or want anything from him and I didnt expect ro fall in love but I did. Alot of stuff happened and then he was gone and here we are.

Im pretending that I'm ok and so much time has passed but I'm still not ok. Im not ok with the fact that I will never see him again. Im not ok with the fact that we wont have anymore moments together, that im all alone and I have to continue this all alone.

So here we all today, with just me. Crying alone in my home because i got triggered by a stupid gift he gave me. Now its all I cling too and its not so stupid, because its a reminder of how stupid he was and how much I love him.

What do you do in a pit of despair? What do ypu do when your drowning? Do you just lay their until you hit the bottom and wait to die? Or do you swim to the top? I swim to the top all of the time but this time feels like their is no surface. The least I can do is swim and remeber who he was and who I am. No, thats bullshit and im not goinf to lie to you. I can try, i mean i could, you would never know but im tired of pretending…. So here it is, i really miss him and I want him back. His the only man that I'm gonna love that is worth loving.

I should try to look on the bright side, thats what Tony always told me. He would say "pep, you need to look on the bright side of love. Because when you do all of your worries disappear and you will find everything you want and I've always wanted you". Your my sliver lining and all of this darkness, to light my way to safety. I love you because you' ve always had a pure heart and made from perfection… so, I know that I have love and you are the one". I didnt think i deserved that but you showed me what an idiot I was being".

Pepper: are those your vows or some kind of an apology?

Tony: their just a display of my appreciation...why would I apology? What did I do?

Pepper: you dont know! (Scoffs)

Tony: no but let me try to think. Shit! I cant think of anything, tell me and please dont be mad.

Pepper: (laughs) nothing ( laughs) i just love how cute you look when you think your in trouble with me.

Tony: well, I never wanna be in your bad graces.

Pepper: well, your never there for long.

Tony: true but i do tend to have regular visits.

Pepper: also true

They both laugh and kiss

Tony: good morning

Pepper: morning beautiful.

Tony: thanks for noticing. So, todays the big day...no cold feet or second thoughts?

Pepper: no why are you?

Tony: never but I have to ask because I know I dont deserve you.

Pepper: please stop, Im no more special than anyone else.

Tony: thats because your better then everyone else. You never judged me or lied to me. Your the only one that has been by my side without judgement. For that I will always love you and you will never be alone.

Pepper: honey I know, not everything has to be a speech of how your not worthy of me. The same value that you have for me, I have the same value for you. Your special but not because of your amor, money or fame but because of your big heart.

Tony: you just proved your own point ( smirks)

Pepper (giggles and looks down) your too much.

Tony: i know ( he lends in and kisses pepper)

Pepper begins to cook breakfast for them since pepper has made it clear that Tony isnt allowed in the kitchen anymore since their last fiasco. Tony lends down and grabs a huge bag, he pulls out a white bear with a heart and a ballon. He also pulls out a box and puts it on the counter.

Pepper: what is this?

Tony: appreciation gifts

Pepper reached for the bear hugged it.

Tony: aww i knew you would like it

Pepper: it smells like you.

Tony: oh. Thats why you like it, you wanna smell me. Well then come here then, give daddy a kiss.

Pepper: ewww

Tony laughs

And here we are

Im holding the bear, inhaling his scent.

I miss him

I fall asleep at his desk in the garage.