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Chapter 28- World Tilting Ever So Slightly
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Student of the People by George H.M. Rannier
Becoming beloved and revered was an ambitious goal. Becoming such a person when one comes from no money with no family to support them would prove near impossible for most.
Luckily for him, he was not most people. He was shrewd. He was methodical. He was a manipulator.
But he had this lovely back story that made his classmates and professors think the best of him. His classmates knew he was an orphan in a Muggle facility because he had told them. If he had not wanted them to know, they wouldn't have. But he needed their sympathy.
Not their pity.
He was not one to be pitied.
He didn't need money or family support to claim his place in the world. And his place was at the top of the world, and he'd work himself to the bone to get there.
Entering the hallowed halls of Hogwarts as an eleven-year-old child he hadn't had the wide eyes and bright face of those first year students around him. He'd done his research, he knew exactly what to expect. Hogwarts: A History had described it accurately, so as far as he was concerned, he didn't understand why were those around him had been so enamored.
None of his school life had him awe inspired. He'd found his way to Diagon Alley in London and managed to barter for as many books as he was able from the coffers he'd been given. The books may not have looked as lovely as the brand new one's that his fellow students held, but they had the same information. Information that it had grown apparent that he was the only one reading.
Being the ideal student was not his goal though.
It didn't take long for him to discover that he was special even around this crowd. He was still different from everyone else here. He was smarter.
At the orphanage he had known that he was special. When he'd been told that, yes, he was a wizard, he'd thought 'Finally, an explanation'. Well, it turned out that that wasn't explanation enough.
Being sorted into the house he had been wasn't a surprise for him. It was the ideal house and was filled with students from the right families. He'd searched the faces of all the students there for any resemblance to himself, his own parentage still being a mystery, and was woefully disappointed. He wasn't a Muggleborn, he just knew that there was magical blood in his veins, a whole ancestry of it, there had to be. He didn't care whether he was the bastard child of someone, he just wanted answers about his true history.
He was careful about all of his interactions at school, professors and students alike. He needed them to trust him, he needed them to like him. It wasn't hard, really. He simply needed to pretend to be who they wanted him to be.
He had to humbly accept praise, he had to offer to help others, he had to feign interest in any stories that were shared with him, and most of all, he had to compliment his superiors skillfully. He also needed to let it be known to his fellow house mates that he absolutely knew he was sucking up, because it was how the game was played.
By third year the boy was tutoring his fellow classmates and the younger years, by fifth year he was a Prefect, by sixth he had received an award for Special Services to the School, a feat managed by framing another student and having them expelled, and by seventh he was named Head Boy.
His marks were exemplary, his attitude and grace were such that his professors thought he was the perfect role model for the other students. By all accounts he was a remarkable young man.
And he was.
It was remarkable that this young man had managed to con everyone around him.
Con them into thinking he was cultured, well mannered, coming from good breeding. He was being let into people's hearts and let into people's homes at such a young age.
He was playing the game of politics from the moment he stepped into the school, and he was winning.
()()()
"That's not funny," Harry said plainly.
"I should think not," Dumbledore replied. "It has been something weighing on my conscience for quite some time now. I just did not have the correct method of checking it safely. I also had hoped for quite some time that it wouldn't be the case. Alas, the time has come to properly check."
Harry gaped at him. There was no way. The only thing in his head was him. There wasn't any other fragment of soul residing in him in the back or his mind, or hanging out down around his left ankle or whatever, just him.
"Harry," Sirius said in the chair beside him. "Please let him check. We need to know."
"YOU need to know?" he asked incredulously. "You aren't the one with a potential mad man's soul partially inside him. I am the one that needs to know, and right now, I wish you hadn't told me."
"I have found a way to safely remove it." Dumbledore assured him. "You can even be unconscious for it, if you choose." He promised.
"Remove it," Harry repeated. "You make it sound like it is just a wart or something. Like you'll do a small procedure and it'll be like it was never there."
"Essentially," Dumbledore nodded his head.
"But," he trailed off. What if it was more than that? What if it had effected the outcome of his life? What if he relied on it in some way. Like, what if they removed it and suddenly he forgot about part of his life, it gave him partial amnesia or something? Suddenly he was really crap at Defense and failed his exams.
"We will not be doing it right away." Dumbledore told him. "I will be transferring the other three Horcruxes before removing yours."
"Then why did you tell me?" Harry demanded. "So I could have this knowledge festering in my head and driving me crazy?"
"Harry, I'm sorry." Sirius told him. "We didn't want you to know until we were sure there was a way to remove it safely. Trust me, you didn't want to try the other options that were on the table before Albus- er- your Headmaster figured out this one."
Harry wasn't properly understanding. He was sure it was a valid reason, but why tell him at all before they were ready to get it out right away? If it was even there in the first place. Couldn't they have just snuck into his dorm room and checked while he was sleeping or something? Then, if they could remove it while he was unconscious, why did they have to tell him at all?
Oh God. He put his head in his hands. Had it been effecting his choices? Changing his moods? His tastes? What if the part of Tom Riddle that was in him was the reason he was good at Quidditch? Or why he had been instantly attracted to Ginny?
"I need to know," he was looking directly at Dumbledore. "Check, check right now and let me know if it's there." He didn't care if this was going to hurt, now that he knew there was a possibility he had to know for sure.
Dumbledore nodded, "please sit still." He raised his wand and Harry stared at him, trying to assist in some way, as though attempting to clear his head was going to help his Headmaster get a better view of the aura around his body or something.
Harry sat there, staring at his Headmaster. His periwinkle eyes were staring back at him and Harry tried to gauge his expression, looking for any hint that he might have found what he was looking for. All he was seeing though was a repetitive wand movement and a bead of sweat making its way down his forehead. There was a sort of haze that he could see shimmering in front of him.
There was an unfortunate uptick in the corner of his Headmaster's mouth and his hand relaxed down to set on the desk. His lips then pursed and he gave off the overall impression of being vindicated.
"It's there then?" Sirius surmised.
"It is." Dumbledore nodded. "It is small, I am assuming it was unintentional, but it is there."
Harry was starting to get tunnel vision as his brain processed it. There was some foreign entity that had been living inside him for fifteen years. He listed forward and braced his arms on his knees.
"We'll get it out, Harry." Sirius promised with a hand on his shoulder.
Harry didn't even want to look at him right then. Who was he anyways? He was the man that was supposed to be his guardian and care about him, but instead of getting him away from the Dursleys as soon as he could he'd gone and lived as a pampered pet. And Dumbledore. He was all knowing, or that is what everyone said all the time anyways, and he had known that Tom Riddle was still out there for sure since Harry's first year, and yet he hadn't figured this part all out sooner?
Of course, with Harry having this thing inside him it was probably the reason he could speak Parseltonge, so it was to everybody's advantage, right? He thought bitterly. How was he supposed to just keep walking around and carrying on with his life and his friends while knowing that this was inside him?
"When are you taking it out?" he bit out, not able to look at either of them.
"As soon as the other three are taken care of." Dumbledore assured him.
"And when will that be happening?" he asked angrily.
"Sirius?" Dumbledore asked. "When do you believe you will be able to retrieve them from your vault?"
"I could go there right now." Sirius told him. "But I'm less certain of when I will have the... other part."
"Other part?" Harry asked, finally raising his eyes to look at his Godfather. "Is this something else that I'm not allowed to know about? I think I'm pretty involved as it is, maybe you should be letting me in on the whole plan." He was clutching the arms of his chairs and attempting to keep his volume down, but his blood was boiling.
It had only happened a few times before, but now he was noticing the change in the air. It was only when he was really angry. The air was sort of, crackling. The last time he'd gotten really angry he'd had that release of power that melted the snow and injured Ginny's hand. Before that, he'd had a small episode in his room at the Dursley's after getting blamed for breaking something that Dudley had knocked over. That time his pillow had exploded, he'd had to stuff the batting back in and tape up the fabric, hoping his aunt wouldn't notice.
Perhaps this was part of it, the Horcrux. Tom had been a really guarded person. He'd seen his eye's flashing red when he let that guard drop, so it stood to reason that if part of him was living inside Harry, then when Harry too lost control that the piece of his soul would take over a little bit.
"Harry," Sirius started cautiously. "Harry, we are trying to bring him down. Finish him off properly. You know that we were looking into containing the wraith that he is currently."
Harry closed his eyes tight, trying to maintain some kind of control and nodding his head.
There was the wraith that they had assumed was in Albania somewhere. The three remaining Horcruxes were in Sirius' vault, aside from the one that Harry carried around with him. Dumbledore wanted to transfer the thing out of the priceless relics instead of…
Harry's eyes snapped open. "It wasn't about saving the cup and whatnot from destruction, was it?" he asked Dumbledore.
"No. No it wasn't."
Harry's jaw clenched tight. Dumbledore had wanted to use them as a trial run for getting the soul piece out of Harry. Slowly his tense muscles relaxed and the air began to feel less thick around him.
"Okay," he managed with a deep breath. "So, now can I know the plan? It seems I'm rather involved in it more than I'd initially thought."
()()()
Sirius wasn't entirely sure what had just happened with Harry. The power that was coming off of him had been palpable. The air had tasted like green apples while Harry had sat there fuming.
It was understandable that he was going to be upset about the news. But Harry had been so level-headed about every piece of crazy news he'd received that Sirius had witnessed. His initial re-introduction, finding out about the Horcruxes, even when he'd discovered that he was actually the owner of his Aunt and Uncle's house. That had been the closest he'd seen of Harry losing his cool.
Right now he seemed so furious that he wouldn't have been too surprised to see the same red flash in Harry's eyes as he had in the memory with Mrs. Smith.
"Harry?" he asked cautiously. "Are you okay? Do you need a minute?"
Harry's eyes cast upwards to the ceiling; he was refusing to look directly at either of them. "I'm fine. Just let me know what the plan is. Whether you'll be using me for something too, that would be nice information to have ahead of time."
Sirius winced.
Dumbledore didn't hesitate for once. He opened his mouth and simply told Harry the plan that they had developed most recently, including the upcoming trip to Albania. Harry still wouldn't meet either of their eyes, but nodded and cast his gaze down to the corner of the desk before him.
"So, there isn't anything else you need from me right now?" Harry chewed the inside of his cheek.
Sirius and Albus shared a concerned look. "No. I will send you an owl once we are ready to begin moving the Horcruxes out of the items." Albus told him.
"Alright then." Harry stood up and went for the door quickly.
"Do you think I should follow him?" Sirius asked Albus, not really looking for an answer. In his mind he was questioning if James would go after him. Lily probably would have. She would have made him sit down and talk through every little thing that was going on in his head right then.
She would have been an amazing mother. She had been up until the end. Right until the very last heartbeat. James too, he would have been a great father. He'd been hoping to have a whole slew of kids. Being raised as an only child had left his early years lonely. His parents had simply been too old once they'd managed to settle down properly.
Sirius didn't wait for Albus to say anything. "I'll locate what we need and get it here with the Horcruxes. I need to deal with this first," he called over his shoulder as he followed Harry out.
He couldn't help feeling like he'd royally fucked up. Like he should have told Harry the day that Albus had shared the possibility with him and Remus. But he hadn't, and it was like he'd another test as a guardian. He followed the familiar path back to Gryffindor, ignoring the looks the students in the hall were giving him. He wasn't a professor, and there were really no other proper adults that came to the school, so he would have been an odd sight.
With the fat lady before him he wasn't sure what he should do. Going into Gryffindor Tower at this stage of his life felt wrong. That was supposed to be a safe space for the students to just be, they didn't need he and Harry essentially making a scene.
"Sirius?" called a voice from down the stairs behind him.
He spun around and saw Ron climbing the steps with Hermione at his side. "Hi Ron, good to see you. Think you could do me a favor?" His relationship with Ron had been smooth sailing since he'd revealed himself. Ron was one to simply roll with the punches, and had admitted that after finding out about Peter being his rat he felt that Sirius was given a pass for deceiving them like he did.
"Did something go wrong after I left?" Hermione asked.
"Got her in one," Sirius cringed. "Harry was pretty upset and frustrated when he left. I just wanted to check on him, but me going in there," he jutted his thumb at the portrait, "just seems wrong on some level."
"That, and you don't have the password," Ron grinned easily. "Why don't you wait here and I'll go check on him?" He moved around him and went through the portrait hole.
Hermione continued to stand on the steps though. Sirius gave her an awkward tight smile. "So…" he started. She was staring at him curiously, as though trying to figure out exactly what it was that her best mate would be upset about after what they'd seen. "Started on your story yet?"
"Article," she corrected and tilted her head at him. "Just how big a role is Harry supposed to be playing in all this?" Her voice was even, but he could hear a threat somewhere in her tone. She was a loyal friend, which was great for him to see for his godson. It had been a crazy few months, and Harry needed loyal friends.
"Please understand that I would love to keep Harry out of this mess as much as possible, and if everything goes according to plan then he will come out of this unscathed," he winced slightly. "Outwardly anyhow," he corrected.
Grabbing onto the stone banister he lowered himself down to sit on the steps while he waited for Ron to bring Harry out. There was no way that anyone involved was going to get out of this without the knowledge of what had happened leaving a mark. Harry was probably going to be angry for quite a while, and rightly so. Sirius himself wished that Albus had started looking into the Horcruxes earlier on, and methods to remove them.
"How did you and Harry become friends?" Sirius asked her.
Hermione looked surprised at the question. She was a brilliant girl, no question, but he couldn't have seen James, Remus or himself befriending her like Harry had. Having a best friend that was a girl would have been completely out of question for him when he was young. Girls had been a fun distraction from his life, not his confidants.
"Um," she started. "Well, we met on the train. Neville had lost his toad and Harry offered to help he and I find it. After we did we just found a compartment and the two of them just," she paused and gave a chuckle, "they just listened while I went on and on about what I'd read in Hogwarts: A History."
Sirius gave her a small smile. His first train ride to Hogwarts was when he met James too. It was amazing that the three of them wound up being such great friends even with their widely varying interests; Harry in Defense and Quidditch, her in academics and Neville in Herbology.
"Thank you for keeping him in line all these years," Sirius told her.
Hermione gave a good-natured shrug and sigh, "Someone had to take up the task." Her smile faltered. "I wish he would have told me about his home life though," she frowned. "Is that what this is about?" she gestured to his morosely sitting on the cold stairs.
"No," he shook his head. "No, this has something to do with what we all just saw in the memories."
There was a shine of interest in her eyes.
"No." he said flat.
"No what?" she played off. "I didn't say anything."
He gave a huff of amusement through his nose and shook his head. This would easily be fodder for her 'articles', but it wasn't for her to know unless Harry wanted her to. He certainly wasn't going to be spilling any of Harry's secrets, and absolutely not before the Horcrux in Harry's body was removed.
The portrait hole opened up behind him and he swung around. "He's not in here." Ron told him, coming down the steps to stand by he and Hermione. "Ginny was in the Common Room, she said she hasn't seen him. Even went up with me to check," he lowered his voice, "you know, the Map."
Sirius nodded. "Okay," he sighed and stood up. "Please let him know I was looking for him. Let him know that I, well… Let him know I'd like to talk to him more. Check in on him."
"We'll watch out for him. Don't worry." Hermione promised.
Her saying that wasn't going to help too much with the mood he'd been in. At least his friends knew that Harry had something on his mind that had put him in a weird place though. Sirius figured he may as well go and drop a line to Remus before heading home and sending off an Owl to Harry at least.
There were still other tasks that he had to take care of. At least he could focus on that. Getting those done would mean that they could get the piece out of Harry sooner.
()()()
It had to have been some point after dinner that the door opened.
"Oh my," the mans voice exclaimed as they surveyed the damage.
Harry was exhausted. He was glad though that it was Remus that had tracked him down.
He'd escaped away to the Room of Requirement after leaving Dumbledore's office that afternoon. This room really was a marvel. It could call up piece after piece of furniture or exercise dummy for him to destroy. He'd gotten so worked up in the Headmaster's office, and there was a morbidly curious side of him that wondered just how much magical energy he might have. And if he harnessed his anger, would his spells work better than they had when he was practicing in class? So that's what he'd done.
The ground was absolutely littered with shrapnel. Splinters and wedges and planks of wood were everywhere. Every time he managed to get incredibly angry he barely needed to say the incantation before something was blowing up. So either he was incredibly gifted at blowing things up, he was getting better at non-verbal spells, or this piece of a Dark Lord inside him really did give him more power.
Thinking about that last one made him want to blow up even more pieces of the school's furniture. He didn't want this inside him.
"Watch your step," Harry cautioned.
"Are you feeling even a little better now?" Remus asked as he drew closer.
"Nope." Harry stated and picked up a wedge of wood from a broken piece of furniture beside him and threw it with minimal effort away from him. "Just tired and hungry."
"Yes," he commented. "This looks like it would have taken quite a bit of energy."
"Whose energy though? Mine, or his?" Harry asked bitterly.
Remus said nothing for a few moments, he just took up on the floor beside him and surveyed the mess. "You know, I haven't told Dora that I'm a werewolf yet," he told him.
Harry looked over at him. He'd been looking to be in such a better mood over these last few months. Lighter and happy. It was only since Christmas when he'd told Harry about his affliction that he'd paid attention and seen the subtle signs of weary as the full moon drew closer. He'd really perfected the perfect cocktail of restorative potions and pepper-up, he may have even utilized some make-up as well to hide the dark circles. Either way, he still seemed in a much better mood than he'd ever known him to be.
"You really like her?" he asked. She'd seemed really cool, but there was a large age gap so they might not have a whole lot in common.
"Pretty sure I'm in love with her. But it is a huge secret to tell her, and I don't know if it might be too early," he told him easily. "The thing is though, with being a Werewolf, it is a big part of me. I change into a beast once, sometimes twice, a month. I don't know her views on it. There are certainly several out there that have given people like me a bad rap. The one that turned me for instance, he did so maliciously. It was to get back at my father for something."
Harry's jaw dropped. He hadn't shared that little tidbit over their chat at Christmas. What a horrible thing to do to a child.
"I don't think she'll have a problem with it. It isn't like it's your fault, or you can do anything to stop it." Harry offered.
Remus nodded. "That's the general consensus, but I still have my concerns. I don't want her blaming certain behaviors of mine on the fact that I am a werewolf. I don't want any future arguments of ours to have it thrown in my face. I don't even want her linking the fact that I prefer my steaks rare to my being a monster."
Harry's brow creased at that and he frowned deeply. It was simply a part of him, his life choices might have been somewhat influenced by it, but that didn't mean that every aspect of his life was defined by it.
"It isn't the same." Harry deadpanned. Remus was trying to draw a parallel between his lycanthropy and Harry's Horcrux. "You knew about it."
"You're damn right it isn't the same. Yours will be removed, I will be like this until I die," he bit back. "I get that you are still processing, and you absolutely have a right to be angry about it, but it isn't forever."
Harry cast his gaze down. "I know that. They told me. But I don't know how much of my life was affected by this. And this," he gestured around the room. "I don't know if it was just my magic that caused it all. When, when I get angry my magic just seems to radiate out of me," he told him. "When we were watching the memories that Dumbledore showed us I could see some resemblance between myself and him, Riddle."
"You aren't-"
"We were both orphans who didn't really know who our parents were. I mean, I knew that Aunt Petunia was my mothers sister. I'd seen other siblings at my school, one was generally like the other in behavior and such. What could I think but that my mum would have been just like her, a nosy busy-body that treated me horribly. It wasn't until I met Hagrid that I was told anything about them that was true. Uncle Vernon had told me my father was a good-for-nothing that was the reason they'd died in a car crash."
Remus sucked in a ragged breath.
"Even the way that Tom Riddle looked. Dark hair, slightly malnourished. I can't help it. It looked like he worked pretty hard to keep his emotions in check, but when he didn't you could see his power in his eyes. When I get really worked up, I have little bursts of power as well."
"Harry, your magic, well, it could be related, but you won't know until afterwards. And I talked to Sirius, he is working to get the other Horcruxes removed as soon as possible so that we can get yours out as well," he moved closer and tentatively put an arm around his shoulders. "You might feel different, you might feel the same. If you really want to be in here destroying everything, then I think that is a good outlet. But your friends are worried about you."
Harry frowned at that.
"You aren't worried about what they'll think, are you?"
Harry pursed his lips and shifted his shoulders slightly.
"Harry?"
He looked up at him then. "How long did it take you to tell your friends?" he asked seriously.
Remus tensed up before he sagged back. "I didn't," he said softly. "James and Sirius figured it out. They cornered me when I was in second year, made me confirm it." His eyes went unfocused and glassy. "I had expected them to want me gone, instead they accepted me and started working to become Animagus so they could help me through the change," he gave a small smile at the memory. "And your friends will react the same way."
Harry shook his head. Remus didn't know that for sure. Hermione, she'd probably do all the research that she could, but Neville? His parents had been driven insane from the torture that Tom Riddle's followers inflicted on them. Neville wouldn't want to be associated with anyone linked to Riddle like that.
Ron might be okay with it though, but what about Ginny? How was she going to want to be with him when she found out that it wasn't just him that she was being with? What if this little piece of soul was sitting there in the back of his head watching what they'd been getting up to? What if that piece was what drove him to act on his impulses like he had?
"Harry," Remus cut through his thoughts. "Harry, they will still stand by you. All of them. You picked a good lot, I promise you."
"You said they are worried about me right now?" he asked, feeling a touch of weary and panic. "That means that they know that there's something wrong?"
"Well," he started. "I guess Sirius tried to follow you shortly after you left the Headmaster's office and came across Ron and Hermione. He asked that they get you to reach out to him."
"Fantastic," sighed Harry. "That means that they'll be hounding me about what is going on as soon as I get back."
"Having people care and worry about you," he started, "what a nightmare."
Harry narrowed his eyes at him, "Am I allowed to tell my professor to shut-up?"
"I wouldn't recommend it," he smiled slightly. "Look, I know that this is hard for you, and I'm sorry we didn't tell you as soon as we found out-"
"But you wanted to have good news with the bad, yeah, Sirius told me," Harry shrugged off the excuse.
"Yes, and I've been over everything I know about you and our history together. I'm optimistic that it is just you making the decisions you have. You are a good person, Harry," he promised. "I see so much of your mother and your father in you. Nothing to tell me that you have a dark entity inside you. And this," he gestured at the mess around them. "This is just you letting off steam. It's healthy."
Harry nodded morosely. Remus had known him for nearly four years now. Remus knew he always tried to be nice, and well mannered, and not in the forced and careful way that he'd witnessed Tom Riddle being. "I think I just need a little more time," he told him honestly. "I hear what you're saying, but," he sighed, "I think I just need a little longer before I'm ready to go back to Gryffindor and have to explain what happened."
"Completely understood," he pulled up his knees and rested his arms on them. "Mind if I sit here silently for a while with you?"
He felt a tingling in his nose at the offer and a warm sensation in his chest. "I'd like that. Thanks."
()()()
Remus left Harry in the Room of Requirement after near on an hour of companionable silence. It seemed time to go once Harry had managed to eat the dinner that the room had provided. He looked to be in better spirits.
It might have been a poor decision to compare his problem with his own lycanthropy, but there were parallels. He'd been bitten at such a young age and it was a part of him that he wished he didn't have. It did affect his decision-making processes, but he had been aware of it. That was the main difference.
The first few years after he'd been bitten his family had shielded him from any prejudice, but because he was so young, he didn't know that his life was supposed to have been different from how it was. It wasn't until he was eight or nine that he asked why it was that he didn't go to normal school, like the children in his stories. Then they told him the truth.
Now, it was simply a part of him.
He wanted to talk to someone about all of this, and he didn't want it to be Albus, and Sirius was busy.
Dora would be home by now though. And he cared too much for her to hide it any longer.
Making his way to his office he mechanically threw Floo powder in his fireplace and called out her grate before he could talk himself out of it. He hadn't discussed his talking to her about this with Albus or Sirius. Sirius would understand, he wasn't so sure about Albus.
"Remus!" she cried out in surprise, coming down the little hallway. She'd been home long enough to get changed out of her uniform and into her short pajamas.
He grinned at the sight of her. God, she always looked so refreshing, her whole aura so bouncy. And yet he knew that she was tough and capable of anything. He just hoped she'd be capable of taking this news and still caring for him after.
His expression must have dropped, because her delighted face turned to worry rather quickly.
"What's wrong?" she asked and came to him, pulling his hand so he would fall with her onto the couch.
"I have to tell you something," he managed.
"Is the world ending?" she joked, an attempt to ease the tension.
He cringed slightly. "Maybe," he said quietly to himself. At her raised eyebrows he collected himself and gave a mental shake, trying to prepare for the worst kind of reaction. "I'm…" his hand shook slightly and he clutched at the fabric of his trousers by his knee. "Remember when you thought that I might have been prejudiced about… how you're a Metamorph?"
Her eyes went wide, clearly she didn't think that would be a problem this far along in their relationship. "Remus, what-"
"I'm not!" he clarified. "The issue was actually about my worrying that, well, that you might hold a prejudice."
Her head tilted slightly and brow furrowed. "Um… ageism? Or against professors?" she tried guessing, a wearily humorous smile coming to her face.
"Uh…" he breathed out and gave a hard swallow. Just rip of the band-aid, "Dora, I'm… a … werewolf."
Her mouth set and eyes focused in on his every feature of his face, as though checking to see if he might have been lying to her. "Since when?" she asked after ascertaining that he was being honest.
"I was bitten when I was five," he told her quietly. He wanted to reach out and take her hand but was concerned that she might not want to touch him now. He cast his gaze over to her coffee table. He needed to give her some time to process that. She probably didn't want to touch him right now and would feel uncomfortable with his eyes on her. His not looking at her would probably help her process this right now.
"Remus," she started. "That was why you didn't want to start anything? Because you thought I wouldn't want to be with you once I knew?"
She sounded sad about it. He winced slightly, that had been his reason for not having a long-term relationship, and she had nearly come out and say that was what she'd been looking for after their first non-date.
"I've received a poor response to it before," one his friends helped him recover from by obliviating his ex-girlfriend. But he wasn't going to share that story with her. "I just… we've been getting on so well. I love being with you," he looked up at her again. He couldn't gauge her expression though. "I didn't want to keep carrying on any longer with out you knowing." He lifted his hand to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, something he'd done several times before, but stopped and put his hand back down on his leg. "I can leave and let you, um, process."
"What?" she exclaimed in confusion. "You want to drop that bomb on me and bail?"
He was taken aback slightly. "Well. I thought you might be more comfortable coming to terms with that with-out me around."
She closed her eyes and shook her head before opening them again. She didn't look the least bit scared of him. "Do you want a drink?"
"Um… okay." He wasn't entirely sure what this was. Surely, she would have questions and concerns. "You aren't going to break up with me immediately?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.
"And pass on the best sex of my life? I think not!" she got up and went to the kitchen.
He rose to follow her, not quite believing his ears. Not only was she not scared of him, but she was still wanting to shag him? She handed him a beer and grabbed one for herself.
"How do you manage to hide it from your students? Surely one of them would have connected the dots with any regular disappearing acts," she asked.
"Well, there is a potion I take that essentially makes me sleep through the full moon, and I have restorative potions and, erm, make-up," he admitted with a blush.
She grinned, "Really? Got any hot tips for me to achieve the 'natural' look?"
"I promise you, you don't need any tips, you're gorgeous enough as it is," he commented and felt comfortable enough with her reaction to hug her to himself and kiss her softly. A large weight had been let off his shoulders and he his endorphins from the stress relief were beginning to make him feel giddy and wonderful.
"So…" she looked up at him coyly. "You telling me this, it's quite a big step, no?"
"Rather enormous for me, yes," He admitted with a chuckle. "It is only a handful of people in my life that I've told. Right now it's you, Sirius, Albus, Severus, Harry, Minerva and Poppy. That's pretty much it."
"Wow, exclusive club I've just joined," she grinned. "And can I assume I am now in this club because I've become rather important to the president?"
He grinned down at her. "Very."
She sighed in pleasure and relaxed into his arms. "Good," she said into his chest. "You're very important to me too."
He too sunk into the embrace. She cared about him, and she didn't care that he was a wild and uncontrollable animal once, sometimes twice, a month. There was a tingling wave of relief that coursed through his entire body and he hugged her closer.
For a moment he wondered if he should tell her about this next part. He didn't want there to be any more secrets though. She was a good person, and he wanted to be with her completely, that meant being able to discuss everything he had on his mind. Even though they'd only been together for a few months, he felt like it had been longer.
"There's something else I want to tell you," he managed.
She pulled back and looked up at him with a twinkle in her eyes. "I knew it, you have a litter of puppies out there somewhere, don't you?"
He barked out a laugh at that and pulled her in for a kiss before guiding them back to her couch and locking up the Floo. "No, I don't have any children out there anywhere. Trust me on that one."
"I do trust you," she told him importantly.
"Good," he sighed. "Because this next thing I have to tell you is going to sound incredibly outlandish." And with that, he launched into the story of Tom Riddle as he knew it thus far, starting with the discovery of the Locket at Sirius' family home over Christmas, and the events that followed.
She listened with rapt attention as he explained every important vessel they'd discovered since then, and finished with finding Harry in the Room of Requirement right before he headed over to her place.
"I want to go," she told him in a rush once he'd finished his story.
"What? Go where?" he asked in confusion.
"To Albania. I want to help, if I can."
"Dora, I hadn't even planned on myself going and you want to?"
"What?" she asked incredulously. "Why wouldn't you want to go?! You've been assisting with it all up until this point, why wouldn't you want to see it through? And even if Sirius and he don't manage to find him, it's still a trip to Albania. I hear it's beautiful there."
"Uh," Remus started. His initial reason for not wanting to go was because he wanted to spend as much time as possible with her as possible during the break. He wanted to spend time with Sirius and Harry as well, but he'd also been wanting to give them some bonding time too. If she was keen on going though, then perhaps they should. "Alright," he smiled down at her. "Let's go to Albania then."
()()()
It was late by the time Harry decided to leave the Room of Requirement. He'd dwelled on what he'd learned for long enough that evening. Remus had left a few hours ago. Having him there with him, even just for the companionable silence, was nice. It had made him feel like he wasn't alone in all this.
He'd started to feel alone in it again after he'd left though.
The room had cleaned itself up around him as he'd sat there. Piece after piece of broken furniture simply disappeared. It had to have been because he didn't want to look at it anymore.
It really was a remarkable room.
The first thing he saw when he left the room and went into the corridor was Ginny sitting on the floor across from the door.
His jaw relaxed at the sight of her there. He didn't know how long she'd been there waiting for him, but surely if she'd seen Remus exiting she would have simply slipped into the room after him. She had her book bag with her and a text open in her lap.
She was looking up at him with a mixture of anger and concern.
Her eyes on him made him feel like a startled animal that was frozen in its spot. He wasn't sure what to do. Until that moment he'd completely forgotten that they'd talked about meeting up after his meeting with Sirius and Dumbledore. They were going to do homework, or… other things to fill their time.
She must have talked to Hermione though, and known that he'd been asked to stay back. How would she have known that he was in the Room though? He could have easily still been in Dumbledore's office. Unless Dumbledore had been at dinner in the Great Hall. He could have asked his friends how he was fairing as well.
His shoulders sagged and brow furrowed then. She knew something was wrong, there was no way he was going to be able to hide that from her. She was too stubborn and determined for him to be able to convince her to just let any of his moodiness or behavior slide.
"Ginny," he said quietly as the door behind him closed and disappeared.
"Harry," she replied evenly and stood up, slinging her book bag over her shoulder before she began pacing calmly.
He let out a sigh and turned back around, waiting for another door to appear in front of him. When it did he opened it and held it open for her to enter first. She passed by him and he caught another whiff of her scented shampoo. Savoring the scent he couldn't help but wonder if it was really him that enjoyed the smell, or if it was Riddle.
The room had changed into a small version of the Gryffindor common room. A round table in the corner with a wall of filled bookshelves and a lit fireplace with a comfortable two seater couch in front of it. Ginny tossed her book bag on the table and kicked off her shoes before sitting down on the couch. She looked up at him from where she sat expectantly.
There wasn't anything he could do but join her on the couch.
Sitting down he stared into the flames as he felt her eyes on him. He wasn't sure what to say right then. He didn't know if he could just launch into the whole story.
Ginny reached over and took one of his hands in hers. "Harry," she drew out his name. "Please? You're making it worse for me just sitting there quietly."
He managed to look down at their joined hands. "What did Hermione tell you?" That would be a good place to start. Perhaps if she got talking then it would be easier for him to tell her what happened.
"She told us you saw three memories. One from before, during and after Hogwarts. It gave her a better understanding of what he was like," she said. "But she also mentioned that you were asked to stay. And whatever it was that you were told has obviously rattled you." Her hand came up to run through his hair gently.
He closed his eyes at the sensation.
"Sirius came searching for you," she told him. "He came to Gryffindor Tower. You weren't there, so I checked the map and saw you weren't on it anywhere. Figured you'd come here."
"Did Sirius stay?" he asked.
"No," she shook her head. "I guess he had an important task to take care of, and he rushed off to deal with it."
He nodded. The sooner they dealt with all the other Horcruxes the sooner they could get the one out of him.
"His owl came and dropped off a letter for you though," she told him. "It's in my bag. Do you want me to get it?"
"Not yet," he managed. He looked up at her face. She seemed as tense as he was, clearly she wasn't doing well with not knowing what was going on.
"Harry," she put her hand on his shoulder and came forward. He turned his head abruptly. He couldn't kiss her, not right now. He felt her freeze from his rebuff. Slowly she pulled back and removed her hands from him, sliding back to sit as far away from him as the couch would allow.
They were both silent for a few minutes. She was waiting, and she was being entirely patient. He couldn't find the words though.
"There's…" he started. "They said that he was making six of them." His voice was low, but it was silent in the room otherwise.
"Six?" she asked. "Six of… six of the Horcruxes?" she cottoned on. "So then does that include him being a wraith or whatever in Albania?"
"No," he shook his head. "Dumbledore said that because he'd ripped his soul apart so much, he was getting fairly fragile in the end, and, and he made the sixth one by accident. You know, right before he disappeared."
She remained silent, waiting for him to continue.
"When he tried to kill me, his spell sort of rebounded. And Dumbledore figures that caused another piece of his soul to rip off and just… attach itself to the only other thing in the room," He said. He peeked up to see what her reaction to that was, whether she'd understood what that meant.
"But," she started. He watched as her mouth opened slightly, then closed, and repeated the movement.
"He checked to make sure. I guess he finally figured out a spell that could confirm his theory."
"Can he destroy it? Without hurting you?" she asked desperately.
He nodded. "Yeah. He's going to deal with the three that are in Sirius' vault first. They have some sort of plan for transferring the soul pieces into something or other. They need me to open the locket still. I might not be able to if they remove the Horcrux from me first."
"You think that's why you can speak Parseltongue?" she asked.
He nodded. "And I don't know what else about me it has affected either," he said morosely.
"What, you think it's changed your likes and abilities?" she asked curiously. "Think you won't like treacle tart or something?" she tried lightening the mood a little.
"Not something I was concerned about," he told her darkly, still looking into the flames.
She was quiet, staring at him intently. "What were you concerned about?" she asked in a whisper, a small quiver in her voice.
He looked over at her, not able to form an answer for her verbally. Her whole body was stiff, and her face looked paler than it had a moment ago.
"Me?" she asked. "You think it's him that made you fancy me?"
He looked back at the flames again, not wanting to see any tears that might come to her eyes. That was a major concern. He didn't care if he didn't like treacle tart after the Horcrux was gone, he didn't care if he was suddenly crap at DADA, all he cared about was whether his relationships with his friends and she remained the most important part of his life.
But what if it was Riddle that was attracted to her? What if after it was removed he wasn't in love with her anymore and he suddenly found all of her cute little habits and touches grating? Up until around noon today she was the most sure thing he had going in his life. He was completely in love with her and didn't think anything was ever going to change that.
Well, this could very well change that. And his feelings as they were right now were telling him that he had to prepare her for that.
"Fuck you, Harry," she bit out.
His head snapped over to her. She couldn't have just said what it was his ears had heard.
"Fuck you!" she repeated.
Okay, maybe she had said it.
"You really think that Tom Fucking Riddle was ever capable of loving anyone? You think he had any real feelings? For Merlin's sake, he didn't even like Quidditch! I've read through his school file, there wasn't even a mention of him attending the games. Nothing about a girlfriend either. If he wasn't such a manipulative bastard he wouldn't have any 'friends' either," she used air quotes. "If anything, you wanting to be with me is proof that the Horcrux hasn't dictated your life in any way." She came forward onto her knees beside him. She didn't look sad, just angry and defiant. "You can speak Parseltongue, sure, but so far as I'm concerned that's the only similarity between the two of you. You are good and kind and loving. He wasn't. EVER. So, don't you dare try to push me away."
"Ginny," he stood up. He didn't want to get further away from her, but he had to make her see his reasoning and he couldn't if she was that close. She was making good points, but her ranting wasn't going to stop him from wondering how much of his personality was influenced by him. "I'm not going to stop being worried just because you make some valid points. This changes things."
"Between us?" she asked angrily. "What is it you want Harry? For us to take a break until you get it all sorted?"
"Yes!" he exclaimed loudly.
"Excuse me?" she stood up.
"Well…" he paused awkwardly. No, no he didn't want to take a break, but now that it was out there, wouldn't it seem like a logical thing to do? Just until he had the Horcrux removed and he knew it was only his soul in his body. Only him that was spending blissful moments with her.
"Well. What." She chewed out.
"It'll only be for a small while," he told her unevenly.
She just stared at him aghast.
"I don't want to, but… but…" he couldn't get the words out.
"But?" she challenged. "But you figure now that you have this life changing news you want to be done with me until you're given the all clear? Guess I should line up a new date to Hogsmead then."
"What?" he exclaimed in horror.
"Well, you're apparently done with me. FOR NOW. That means I'm free to see whomever I'd like, right?" her eyes narrowed.
"No!"
"Oh, so you don't know if you want me, but you do know you don't want me to see anyone else?"
"I do know I want you!" he argued.
"You sound pretty sure of that. A moment ago you were concerned it was Riddle that wanted me."
"No. Don't. Damn it, Ginny. You know what I mean," he yelled.
"I do. And I think you sound like a bloody idiot," she yelled back.
"Ginny, please," his voice cracked. "Please tell me you get where I'm coming from. Even just a little."
Her expression softened and he saw the glassiness building in her eyes. "I do. And I'm not letting you break up with me over this," she told him, stepping towards him and placing her hands on his hips. "If you don't want to be intimate until Dumbledore gets this thing out of you, then fine. But don't you dare try to break it off with me until that happens. Because I will find some poor sod to court me, just to rub your nose in it and make you regret it."
The corner of her lips twitched as she threatened him. He knew she didn't mean that, but he also knew there would be a few boys interested in taking up the challenge of her if given the opportunity. He didn't want to give them the opportunity.
So, fine, if she was okay with being patient with him, then they would give that a try.
"Okay," he nodded, and instinctively reached out and pulled her closer. "I don't know when they're going to remove it. If it's going to be a week or a month, or two."
"I don't care," she shook her head. "I can wait."
He let out a deep sigh and rested his forehead against hers. "I'm sorry I said that," he whispered. "I can't promise I'm done freaking out yet." There was still a ball of lead resting in his stomach of it.
She hugged him a little tighter. "That's understandable. Please just talk to someone next time, instead of making stupid decisions that make me yell at you. I don't like doing it."
He huffed out a laugh. "You are rather good at it though."
She shook her head. "You're an idiot," she told him lovingly.
()()()