Things have changed in the underworld of Dublith.
This was the thought that Roa had as he picked up a large crate from the back of a supply truck, the muscles of his animal nature bulging and threatening, just a little, to bust out of his jacket, the way a robber in a newspaper funny would kick down a door. Whatever was in here, he had no idea, and he didn't much care- but he had a feeling that, as soon as it was installed in the Devil's Nest, he would be told. It was an interesting realization, to understand that he wouldn't be kept in the dark- no previous employer had given him such liberties. No previous employer had placed such trust in him.
Yes, things had certainly changed.
There were many cold days in Roa's memory, starting with the first sunrise after his escape from the laboratory where he had been made into something other than a man. He had spent those days in the darker parts of Dublith, for it was the perfect place to hide. Illicit deals and illegal arts, gang wars, prostitution and theft- these were the currency of the semi-secret world behind world, in the alleys and warehouses and sex parlors that hid beneath the reasonable, even pleasant face of the city shown to tourists. The crime hub of Amestris- the perfect place to disappear, to become faceless, to survive while knowing that no one would see you for what you really were, and even if they did, wouldn't care. It was a despicable place, and it had been his only chance. For years now, it had been his whole world.
With his strength and grand stature, Roa had found himself working as an enforcer for hire, a basic job entrusted with no secrets or special tasks, paid in cash for standing behind someone with a hammer and scowling. Sometimes, he had needed to use it, but only sometimes. He had never been a part of anything- not like before, during the war, when one's squadron became their family- but he had survived. All of the other chimera, he had known they were around of course, but for the most part they had kept to themselves, and so had he. It was too difficult to face a mirror like that, to see someone else suffering the way he did. In retrospect, that had been foolish. Who else could understand what it was like to live this way...who else could be a truly trusted ally? But they had all been too afraid, and too broken, to come for each other. So for a while, that was all there had been. The city, the work, his bed and a drink here or there. A 'good life', by some standards, but a very cold one.
Roa had never used any of the more...fleshly services available in those back alleys. That sort of thing was too dangerous for him, for someone of his strength and size. And there was something revolting about it- Roa hated to see the painted faces of those girls and boys, their lean and starving bodies wrapped in the arms of men (and sometimes women) who didn't care for them at all. Those kinds of acts seemed even more corrupt to him than what he had seen of the military, more despicable, but there was nothing he could ever do to change it. So he had gotten his drink, and gone back to the places where he slept, and had buried himself in the slow-moving, dull part of his mind that had been added in that laboratory.
Things were different now- ever since that man had come, only a few weeks ago now, the man from the North who called himself Greed.
(It couldn't be his real name, Roa had thought the first time he heard it, that was ridiculous- it must surely be some kind of title, some piece of braggadocio to go along with his personality. A silly name for a rather silly man.)
But Greed had turned out to be less silly than Roa thought. He knew what he was doing, shock though it was, he knew how to run things and make it turn out right. There was no dithering with Greed, he knew what he wanted, and how to get it. His personality only made it easier- he was silly, yes, but also terribly charismatic. It was easy, even fun sometimes, to do what he told you to- and this warm contrast was huge to the sorts of men Roa had worked for before (the crime lords, the drug dealers, the business men of the underworld). For a while he hadn't understood how it was possible; he had found himself on the defence, unwilling to take down his walls, believing that he stood before nothing more than a grand illusion, that this man could be no different from all the rest. But Roa knew now- there was one, key difference. After all, a true captain rowed the boat with his shipmates, a leader walked common paths with those who followed. Before, the men Roa had worked for had been human, and he was not. Now he worked for Greed, and it seemed that he wasn't human either.
That kinship made all the difference in the world. Roa knew it was the same for the other chimeras- it had taken someone who understood to bring them together, in the end. Someone who treated them like they were people again, not animals or tools, because he too knew what it was like to be something less (or more) than human. How funny, in a very unfunny kind of way- the least human of all the people Roa had met since the laboratory was the one who had offered him the most humanity.
In short, it was a good job. Roa found himself surprisingly close to happy on most days. The other chimeras were becoming his friends, they were good people, Greed was a good man to work for, a good leader. Charming, smart, quick on his feet, and as much a member of the team as any of the rest of them. The kind of man who could have been a squadron head, back in the war, before Roa had been made this way- the kind of man that, back then, he would have followed to his death.
But it wasn't perfect. Nothing in this world was.
For of course, Greed was not a soldier, he was a criminal. And it was there that the line was created for Roa- the line that stopped him from slipping over into complete devotion. Roa would never claim to be a good man, but he also never did anything actively reprehensible and Greed, well, did. And there were some things he did that Roa found downright wrong.Most of them, as it turned out, involved that boy he had brought with him- the one member of the team who was not the leader, and not one of the chimeras.
A strange one he was, little Envy.
With his long dark hair and pale skin, he looked almost like a girl. Roa wondered if he wanted to look that way, if he wanted to wear clothing that exposed his belly and thighs, or if Greed made him. Was Greed one of those kinds of men, the ones who did that? Maybe. After all, as Roa had thought, he was the kind of man to take what he wanted- and what he wanted, it seemed, was some poor kid in his bed at night. With those youthful, feminine features, and the lack of hair anywhere save his head, Envy couldn't be more than a teenager, and he was certainly much younger than Greed. It was disturbing, the way things went on- Roa had never spoken to Envy on his own, in fact, had never seen him around without Greed, and so he had certainly seen what Greed did to him. The man was always touching him, touching him in ways and places that would be hard to consider platonic; stroking his face, slapping his ass, running his fingers through that long hair. He had kissed the kid once, on the mouth, right in front of everyone, saying it was 'for luck'. They had matching tattoos, but Greed's was on his hand and Envy's was on his thigh, made visible often by the incredibly short shorts he tended to wear, and the positioning was suggestive of the power dynamic between them in and of itself. Roa didn't really want to think about what was happening between them at night. If the boy hated it, or had no other choice, it was difficult to tell, but Roa had noticed that he almost always had an unpleasant expression on his face. Roa hadn't often heard him speak- but then, he tended to avoid being around Envy and Greed when they were together, he didn't like watching. A coward that made him maybe, just like before, trying to cover up the blemishes in a situation that was otherwise amazing; ah, Greed's leadership had benefited him so much, was he really the kind of man to turn cheek to such things if they were in his favour? Maybe he was. He had never said anything before, when he hadn't known the names of the lost children turning tricks on the streets at night. A sickening thought sat in the pit of his stomach- why would he change now?
His muscles bulged again as he set down the crate on the floor of the Devil's Nest- even if he could lift it easily, he could tell it was supposed to be heavy. The soft sound of glass rubbing itself in companionship echoed, muffled, from within- the crate probably contained booze. That wasn't so bad- the previous owner of this place had stocked mostly piss and outright poison, a reshelving would probably do business good. And business had to be good, or at least decent, in order for the bar to be used as a cover for some of the other ways to make money in Dublith. Perhaps he would have some, to clear the bad taste from his mouth and the bad thoughts from his head.
Suddenly, from the somewhat-hidden entry to the underground area, Roa heard footsteps approach, footsteps that- due, no doubt, to the distortion of sound from the tunnel- sounded like they belonged to a man who could rival him in size, but when he looked, he found himself surprised.
Envy swept some hair from his face as he emerged from the stairway, and his bright eyes flicked across the room, catching on the crate but not on the man (or almost man) standing beside it. He was wearing almost nothing, as always, and Roa felt uncomfortable looking at that exposed white flesh. He was barefoot- why did the floor sound so clearly his approach? There was something strange about it, something that bothered Roa's animal instincts in the back of his head.
"What's this, then?" said Envy, his voice high and clear and carrying even in the muffled atmosphere of the bar. "Greed got his shipment, did he?" He had a surprisingly bold voice, when on his own. Why was that? Did he speak less when they were all together because he was afraid? Was their leader really such a man?
Envy knelt, and Roa was about to offer to open the thing when with what seemed like almost disproportionate strength he ripped the lid off the container single-handedly, exposing the snug little lines of bottles pressed together, their insides sloshing with liquids ranging from the deepest sienna to clearer than crystal.
"You know, I don't really get the appeal," said Envy cheerfully, and he turned his head in a way that was vaguely reminiscent of a cat, or a lizard, tossing the lid lazily to one side. "but I'm sure Greed will be happy."
"Yeah," said Roa rather dumbly. All those muscles, it seemed, weren't just for show, though it was strange for a man of his own strength to find himself rivaled in a young boy. If that was the case, Greed must be even stronger, to do those things to him…
"He's downstairs somewhere still I think," said Envy, but it sounded like he was speaking to himself more than to Roa. "I'll go get him."
Realizing that the kid must have been talking about Greed, Roa surprised himself in reaching out and catching Envy by the arm, wanting in an almost subconscious way to stop him. There was a shock to his senses- Envy's skin was cold, what in the world, and he felt very solid under Roa's hand, like stone.
There was a pregnant pause, and then Envy shot him a look over one shoulder that could only be described as one of disgust, purple eyes burning dark through strands of thick green hair.
"The fuck," he said sharply, and Roa let him go. "What's wrong with you?"
Roa felt his mouth open but there were no words for it, and he realized then that there might not come a time when he was alone with Envy again, when the boy could speak without Greed's eyes on him. Roa didn't know what he could do. Was there anything in his power that would be of help? Was he strong enough to be different, now? Did he even want to jeopardize his own warm future? A terrible voice in the back of his head whispered leave it, let Greed have his plaything, all men of his kind need something. You won't be able to do anything anyway.
But somehow the words did come- they tumbled from his mouth almost unbidden, thoughts spilling from his lips before he knew what, exactly, he was going to say. Envy, in that moment, with his soft face and smooth skin and long hair, was every one of his kind Roa had passed on street corners or in back alleys, or seen in brothel windows, or heard in neighbouring rooms of cheap motels, and he thought if he could make it up to this one his lack of interference before would be good enough for them all.
"Why do you- why do you let him touch you? Does he hurt you? Or threaten you? What kind of man is he, really? Tell me, kid, you...I won't hurt you."
In the silence after he was done, he could feel himself flushing horribly, as though he had just admitted to something embarrassing. His hands were shaking. And Envy just stared at him, his face was a picture of perfect surprise, eyes wide and narrow brows retreating up his forehead. Then his lips started to move upwards, curling like they were pulled by some invisible string, and for half a second that mixed expression of incredulity and humour made him almost beautiful, and Roa thought that he suddenly understood the appeal-
-and then Envy started to laugh, and the illusion was shattered, for he was downright hideous.
There was something worse in that laugh than any of the sights Roa had ever seen, worse than anything he had ever done. Envy's face was contorted into something grotesque, and predatory, Roa had never seen him smile before and it turned out his canine teeth were just as sharp as Greed's. He hadn't expected this. He had categorized the boy in his head as a victim, not as something...evil.
But Envy looked evil, now.
"You're funny," he shrieked, hysterical, and he seemed unable to control his own body against the force of his mirth, doubling over as if in pain. "Oh my God, you actually-"
He looked unhinged, and Roa found himself instinctively backing away, holding out against the animal instinct to buck or snort or even run. This wasn't at all how he had imagined it would go.
Envy made a weird choking sound and rolled his head back, pinning Roa to the floor with the force of his eyes. He was still giggling, even as he spoke, hands curling in and out of claws as he pawed at his own chest.
"So, first of all, I am way older than you think I am," he purred. "Way older, guaranteed. And second- did you think I was a man?"
And if that question didn't throw Roa for a loop he was a rabbit instead of an ox. Hadn't Martel thought Envy to be a girl? They hadn't spoken much of it, but Roa had been very sure of his own assumption, the boy looked so young. But if he- she?- was not a teenager, then didn't that also make sense? There were some traits in common between young boys and grown women. It was like an optical illusion, adjusting one's perspective to things like this was difficult-
Suddenly Envy stepped towards him, in one stride closing the distance between them, and Roa felt cold hands on his chest through his shirt, saw those glittering eyes right before his own.
"And before you get the wrong idea," Envy said dryly, "I'm not a woman, either."
Then there was an incredible pressure and Roa found himself being flung backwards, Envy had pushed him, and no one that small should have been able to make someone like him move, make him hit the floor so hard. All of his senses were reeling, because none of this made any sense.
"You're pathetic," Envy hissed, and he wasn't laughing anymore, he looked positively livid, and it was terrifying, the smile had twisted down into a snarl.
"What, did you want to be a hero? Fuck that, and fuck you. If it were up to me we wouldn't be dealing with you scum at all. How dare you look down on me like that? You think I'm weak? How fucking dare-"
The change in emotion from mirth to hatred had been so fast, and both seemed so strong, the boy- the woman- the thingmight actually be insane. Roa was suddenly afraid, very genuinely afraid that he was going to be killed, or something worse. Envy was looking at him like he was the most despicable thing in the world, so enraged, that deceptively little figure tensed with murderous strength. Was he crazy, or did Envy's fingernails look sharper then they had just moments before? Why did the air smell like lightning?
"Hey-ho, everyone," called another voice from behind Envy's towering figure, and Roa recognized this one to be Greed. He must have just come up the stairs. There was a second of silence in which nothing moved save Envy's eyes, and then Roa heard the man laugh.
"Okay, bad timing on my part. Play nice, will you sweetheart? No breaking my things. Oh- is this the drinks I ordered?"
Roa watched from his prone position on the floor as Greed made his way over to the crate, whistling in appreciation as he started to take out the bottles, holding their contents up to the light. Very slowly, Envy unwound, his fists losing shape and tension siphoning away, the fire in his eyes flickering back into coals. Roa saw his breathing return to normal as he looked at Greed, and what was eerie then was that for an instant there was no expression on his face at all- not that cracked anger, not that evil humour, not even some kind of love. Nothing. Then he turned away and left the bar through the still-open back door, his footsteps on the floor the only sound he made. When he was gone, Roa realized he was trembling, and found himself turning to stare at his only other companion, a silent plea for some kind of answer, or acknowledgment. What in the world had just happened?
"Don't look at me, pal," said Greed. "You probably did something insulting. Don't worry about it though, babycakes over there is like that with everyone."