Just finished my mock exams so I had some time to write a quick chapter, the next will be the last one I suppose :)
Minerva woke in a start. The sun had not rose yet, but a pale, blue light came from the window behind her. It took her a moment to remember why she was here, then to understand why she had woken up. The bed was empty. Her first reaction was fear. She felt like she had just let a murderer escape, that the whole castle was in danger, and in a way, this was very true. Then she heard noise in the bathroom and quickly rose to her feet. It was the sound of someone throwing up.
"You could have asked for help, but obviously you don't do that."
There he was, half collapsed on the sink. He was horribly sick - one of his harms was pressed against his stomach and Minerva feared that he would just pass out.
"Why… are you here?" he asked. Then he was sick again, and she felt guilty to just stand there, watching him. But she could not bring herself to help him. After all, it was a normal reaction from his body, seeing the amount of Veritaserum he had been given.
"You will certainly find it unbelievable, but Poppy came to help you just a few hours ago. She left potions for you to take. You had some already."
Obviously, he did not remember that. "Just go away", he said weakly. She knew he hated to show any sign of weakness. She stared at him with even more intensity. "You're not even going to make it back to your bed."
"This is none of your business!" he shouted, losing his temper. He tried to gather himself. "Are you suicidal? No one must see you here. And you have… no reason… to be!" he finished with difficulty.
"I think your fever is rising up." Looking at the sink, she waved her wand and the mess vanished. Actually, there was practically nothing and she wondered when was the last time he ate something substantial.
Exhausted, Severus closed his eyes and pressed his burning forehead against the sink, cursing himself. It was true, his brain was fogged with fever, and he had never felt so ill; he thought of just passing out, too tired to fight the other witch. But he had the horrible feeling that, by his own fault, things could go very wrong. Minerva had to go. He had to speak with Albus. He could not think properly and felt incredibly frustrated.
Minerva sighted. As he did not seem to be about to throw up, she levitated him back to the bed and, taking out some medicine, decided not to give him any fever reducer. She sat beside him.
"Where does it hurt?"
"My stomach", he answered quietly, before groaning. The veritaserum was obviously still affecting him as he did not mean to answer that. He turned his face the other way.
"For your own… safety, Minerva, p-please leave."
"Oh, so you care about our safety. I must say we all feel very safe inside Hogwarts right now, headmaster." She watched as he whimpered in pain, his face growing paler. The fever was taking a toll on him. And despite it all, he looked angry.
"I… am… trying!", he shouted, before violently trying to get up. Minerva immediately rose to her feet, catching him to prevent him from falling and forcing him to remain sited. He rose glassy eyes at her.
"All you do is put the children in danger while you sit in Albus' chair," she spat at him. "How can you even look at yourself in the mirror, Severus? You achieved nothing."
"Tell Albus I'm not… I'm not sick I can't… I have to brew-"
Minerva sighted and felt her anger fade away looking at the now delirious man. She pushed him back onto the pillows with more gentleness than she thought herself capable of. He was unconscious for a few moments, certainly due to a drop in his blood pressure. When he woke up, she knew he should have been given the fever reducer a long time ago, but she felt some kind of pleasure, holding the vial in her hands.
"We have to… Albus' office… he asked for… a report"
Minerva shook her head. "Stop saying his name." She felt incredibly tired. "What did You-know-who promise you, Severus? What was so valuable to you that you could kill him?"
The man's eyes were unfocused, his breathing unregular. "To protect… Draco."
Minerva laughed almost hysterically. "Do not call that protection. What the boy wen through… None of us protected him! And you, of all, you should-
"Albus didn't- didn't care about my soul- but his… still a child."
Minerva couldn't decide whether he was incoherent or if he was reacting to anything she said. Each time he talked about Albus hurt even more, and she did not know how long she could take it.
"Did you look right into his eyes? When you killed Albus?" she almost shouted.
Even in his condition, Severus looked startled by her sudden loss of temper, finally looking at her. He remained silent a few moments, fighting against nausea and the urge to fall asleep.
"He pleaded… it was unfair…"
Minerva stoop up, anger flooding through her body. Severus closed his eyes. "I will… I hate… him…"
She exploded. "WHY, SEVERUS? WHY WOULD YOU HATE THE ONLY MAN WHO TRUSTED YOU? WHO GAVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE? WHO ALWAYS, ALWAYS TOLD US TO MAKE YOU ONE OF US? WHY?!"
The vial of potion had fallen from her hands and exploded on the floor. She was shaking violently, wand in hand. Severus' gaze darkened.
"I can't wait… to die… b't now I know I can't – I can't tell them I… didn't want to…"
Minerva kept silent, trying to gather her thoughts. She did not know what he was talking about. She did not know if he knew he was talking to her. She carefully considered speaking with her colleagues and ask them what they should do with him. She had the terrible feeling that had he been in a position of strength, had he been directly threatening her students, she could have killed him. But right now, when he was not a threat, she felt doubtful, desperate for anything that would have proven she had not been wrong for all these years, for an explanation, a clue, to understand.
Severus and her had become friends, she knew that now. It was very hard for her to
remember her time as his teacher, because she knew she had failed him. And certainly, many other Slytherins. He had disliked her as a teacher, she had disliked him as a student, thinking he was wasting his potential, and choosing the wrong friends. He could see it in her eyes. And that had been a vicious circle, for many years before her, and now, she feared, more than ever. Because Slytherins were a threat.
"What didn't you want to do?" she finally asked.
Severus' breathing was laboured, too difficult to be normal. "I swear I told Albus – I told you I did -not want to do it. And – and now – his portrait – always – always telling what to do – saying not to drink too much – but he knows nothing! He looked incredibly angry, even with his glassy-eyes. His head fell back on the bed. Minerva looked shaken.
"I thought Albus' portrait was always asleep. I thought he did not speak."
Severus laughed. He looked half-mad now, and she knew she should give him his potion. He was muttering and she could not understand what he was saying. She took a piece of wet cloth and wiped his forehead. "Here, drink this", she said. Her voice was not as cold as she thought it would be. He looked up at her. "I wish… I wish he… did…"
As he fell asleep, she went up to the infirmary to ask Poppy to look after him. She knew what she had to do, and hopped the castle would allow her.